Something tells me Karen was an Avon Lady to fill her extra time once all the kids were in school.
But her family members are NOT willing test subjects. You know who is? Jonathan. He’s incapable of saying no to her, which means that when he comes to pick up Nancy, he often ends up at the kitchen table with Skin So Soft rubbed into one arm, a new cologne dabbed onto his inner wrists, and Karen patting after-shave lotion onto his face while asking which one feels “less greasy.”
Nancy puts up with it at first, but after the third time, she comes downstairs and wedges herself between them, taking the bottle of after-shave and holding it out of Karen’s reach. “Come on, Mom, we’re late. Can you please stop moisturizing my boyfriend?”
Karen relents. But only for that evening. Tomorrow is a new day, and the Avon catalog is always evolving.
Before long, Jonathan has a bathroom drawer overflowing with samples. Any time he admits he likes something, Karen mysteriously has a full-sized bottle “left over” for him the following week. They both know she orders them especially for him, but they politely play along with her excuses.
Karen’s makeup samples, meanwhile, are reserved almost entirely for Joyce. She’s forever catching her in front of the hallway mirror, one hand softly tipping her chin toward the light as she leans in close to sweep blush over her cheeks or carefully paint color across her lips. Joyce insists she doesn’t need any of it, but her resistance always disappears beneath Karen’s hands - and Karen always takes much longer than the application reasonably requires.
Years later, once they’re both widowed and sharing that little house in Montauk, Karen still does Joyce’s makeup in front of the mirror. The only difference is that now, when Karen leans back to admire her work, Joyce pulls her in again.
And whenever Nancy and Jonathan come to visit? Jonathan can’t make it through the front door without Karen taking one look at his face, declaring that the ocean air is drying him out, and disappearing to find something to put on him.
Anyways, support your local Avon Lady!