tryna sing along to a song in a language u don’t know

if i look back, i am lost
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@aniceplacetodie
tryna sing along to a song in a language u don’t know
I've been told you'd like to hear about my Grandmother...
My grandmother got married in 1962, to a young man in the military. For a wedding present, their parents bought them a house in a nice suburb. White picket fence, whole 9 yards. Not long after they moved in, the next door neighbor planted a mullberry tree on the side of his property, near my grandparent’s driveway. Nothing seemed amiss, but if you know Mullberry Trees, you know that sh*t is about to get real.
About 15 years later, the mullberry tree was OBNOXIOUS. The birds would come and eat the berries, and any car parked in the driveway would get sh*t on, and it would stain the cars and ruin paint jobs. My grandmother, upon realizing the culprit, baked a nice apple pie, walked next door, and asked the neighbor if he’d mind trimming back the branches of the tree that hung over her driveway. He told her not to worry, he’d get to it soon. Three days later, my grandmother opened her door to find a half-eaten pie in the plate, crawling with ants, and a note that said “I changed my mind.”
My grandmother threw out the pie, cursing up a storm, and swearing up and down she’d get him to trim that tree or get him back. City ordinance said she could not trim the tree, as the roots were on his property, so the whole tree was his property.
As the years went by, my grandmother repeatedly asked him, ever so nicely, to trim it back. His responses were always along the lines of “No” and “F*ck off.” Finally, in the mid-90s, my grandmother retired, and received a large bonus from her employer for her 35 years of work. She took the money, and bought the empty lot on the other side of the neighbor, then went to a nursery and bought 16 mullberry trees, planting them along her property line, on both sides of his property. About 3 years ago, he became angry at the damage they were doing to his cars, and cut them all back without permission. My grandmother took him to court, and he was forced to reimburse her for the trees at a markup because they’d had 10 years to grow.
…. That is hardcore on a level I hardly knew existed.
Thats a level of salty i can only pray I achieve
Tell him you’re excited to have his last name and then marry his brother
This is some Shakespeare level shade
Reading French: Well shit this might as well be english I can read this quickly and with 100% understanding wow
Listening to French: *blank expression staring light years past the person as my facial features slowly petrify*
http://iglovequotes.net/
I’m so mad because this worked
help me roger
Reblogging myself because
Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses
Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?
O_O
………my friend has made me curious
help me roger
Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director
let’s do it, roger
Roger helppppp
I need you Roger!
ROGER PLEASE
Okay so like…A few weeks ago I saw this in a dollar store and thought it was pretty neat so I bought it
and now I’m wondering if I jinxed myself because like a couple of weeks after, I bought this:
he’s looking more and more like the plate every day, i think i did accidentally buy a prophetic plate
I think the brown is taking over purposely so he can match the plate???
getting entirely too similar for comfort
possibly he is growing to match the plate?
OUR SCHOOL WENT ON A TRIP TO TO THE ZOO TODAY AND HAD TO STOP THE BUS BECAUSE SOMEONE SNEAKED A FREAKING PENGUIN ONTO THE BUS OMG MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER WAS CRYING WHEN SHE TOLD US OMG I ACTUALLY DIED
YOU GUYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND OUR SCHOOL IS ACTUALLY BANNED FROM AN ACTUAL ZOO BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TRY AND STEAL AN ACTUAL REAL LIVING PENGUIN AND TAKE IT HOME
a baby can be born right now at 12:00, on a wednesday, august 24 in new jersey while another baby is also born in the exact same moment but they are born 9:00, on a tuesday, august 23 in california, these babies that are born at the same moment are technically because of time zones, a concept that we created ourselves, born “hours” apart even though really they are born at the same moment just not the same “time”, one will be considered older even though in actuality they are the same
my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house
me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty
My overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house
My femme girlfriend: [throwing on a sundress and head scarf] okay baby I love you and you look so handsome
Me: [after spending 6 hours on my hair and makeup] Babe I’m ready to head out now
My femme wife: [who has also taken 6 hours] Okay babe I love you I’m ready and your highlight is poppin severely but you need to blend that contour in a little bit
Me: [fixing her eyebrows] I love you
my overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok love im ready to leave the house
my equally overdressed femme girlfriend: [also hour and a half later] okay baby i love you we’re both so pretty
Me: [10 minutes and a tank top later] ok babe let’s go
My equally lazy butch girlfriend: [also 10 minutes and a tank top later] I love you honey but we gotta stop taking each other’s tank tops
protect this post
#iconic
*awkward bisexual silence*
Joe Biden has a message for fraternity guys
If you don’t stop your brother from raping a girl, you are an accomplice
TELL ‘EM JOE 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
what if there were professional text post critics
Rating: ★★★★☆
Witty and insightful. A must-reblog post. Suspense from lack of punctuation and resolution leaves the reader pondering possibilities late into the night.
1 thing i like about this whole blogging on this blue site thing is that…. nobody’s a true physical form. we’re all just concepts. everyones blog is a museum dedicated to whatever conceptual presence they are. its……. so…. interesting