almost home
trying on a metaphor
shark vs the universe
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Cosmic Funnies
art blog(derogatory)
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
official daine visual archive
tannertan36
Not today Justin
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PR's Tumblrdome
roma★
Three Goblin Art
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
EXPECTATIONS
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Monterey Bay Aquarium
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occasionally subtle
seen from Malaysia
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@annoyingneighborcat
Only the subtlest metaphors on this Tumblr.
This works as a metaphor for children but also it works perfectly well when played totally straight because horse people are actually like this
it literally took me three solid readings through this to realize that it wasn’t necessarily about horse people, because they are exactly like this
That time of year… 📻 (Yes, I was slightly inspired by the scary movie I watched late last night)
I am screAMING
introducing yourself on webforums fifteen years ago like:
You: uhhhhh hi I’m new i guess, just wanna chat about my favorite show too or whatever
iNvAd3rJ1M posted: *pounces* HELLOoOOOO NEW PERSON!!! *throws confetti*
911_NVR-FRGT posted: Hi there! You’ll find a Relaxed Atmosphere Here in Our Community! *points* Beer is In The Fridge, Curfew Is At 9! Haha I’m old
SSJgoku1994 posted: I am a pineapple! Monkeys!!!!!
Drag0n~Swords posted: Forsooth, a stranger doth enter the realm!
dumbledoreftw posted: Welcome! Hope you stick around! We don’t bite….. much!!
Greg posted: HITLER WAS A MISUNDERSTOOD GENIUS AND ILL GIVE YOUR WHOLE FAMILY AIDS IN HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT
Lady*Unicorns*76 posted: “lol” (Laughing Out Loud!) don’t worry about greg sweetie! He’s just our little pet troll and you get used to him!! ;-) <3<3<3
This post broke through 17 mental blocks and gave me syphilis well done
What the fuck I love this
*RARE* John Denver & Johnny Cash - Take Me Home Country Roads
Found this while going through my granddad’s VHS tapes and couldn’t find it anywhere online, so here it is.
One time a guy and I were having an argument and he pulled a knife on me, and because I’m a dumbass idiot my response was to take out MY knife and go “what now, genius?” And what happened next was we just stood there for ten straight minutes not moving because niether of us wanted to put the knife down first and basically that’s our entire international situation regarding nuclear weapons
What happened afterwards?
My mom showed up
y’all need therapy. not girlfriends
Or they need a girlfriend that doesn’t mind listening and trying to help them work through their shit and defeat their fucking demons without asking them to pour out their soul to a stranger who is only listening because it’s their job. That’s the kind of shit you do for the people you love.
your partner is not your therapist. listening to your partner is one thing, but it is not their responsibility to help you work through your shit. that is on you.
one more time.
your partner is not your therapist.
also if I may hop onto this, I REALLY hate when people try to spin “therapists only listen because it’s their job” as a BAD thing. can you imagine if we tried to apply that to literally any other profession?
“why take your phone into the store to get it fixed? they don’t care about you, they’re only doing their job.”
“I don’t want to order a pizza. they’re not making it for me out of the goodness of their hearts, they’re only doing it because it’s their job.”
“why didn’t you just have your girlfriend do that surgery instead of going to a stranger who only saved your life because it’s their job?”
it’s their job because they are better equipped to do it than the other people in your life. jesus christ.
cant believe we’ll never know who ended homophobia because he was anon
Reblogging for these tags
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SENSEI
Can yall believe that the woman responsible for the single best story ever created is also the ultimate mood icon, i’m speechless.
So the subplot of Holes is that Kate Barlow deals with the politically-sanctioned execution of her black boyfriend—who unlawfully kissed a white woman who was in love with him!!!—by becoming a serial killer who targets racist/sexist white dudes who harassed her, were rejected, then went after her boyfriend as revenge from the depths of the “friend zone”.
Go off Louis Sachar, let em know!
Don’t forget the main plot was a damning satire of the brokenness and inherent racism of the American justice and prison systems! Louis Sachar does not fuck about
It always fuck me up that older people don’t understand how this story is as essential to most american children as Gone with the Wind or Mary Poppins was.
unironically, this is one of the best books/movies for young people that exists
Kissing Kate Did Nothing Wrong
And the technical writing of Holes is perfect. Like, it’s one of the most technically-perfect books ever written. Basically any plotting or pacing or characterization issue you’re having, read Holes and really study how Sachar did it. THE LIZARDS! THE LIZARDS.
How about the way it shows that homelessness is treated as a crime? Or that a young boy, who is homeless and stuck in poverty, decides to steal from a charity event because he knows that charity will not help him or even begin to touch let alone solve the problems in his life? Or the way it side-eyes the preformative charity that rich famous people act out? How they look down on Stanley for supposedly stealing from that charity event when there was a homeless kid right in front of them and they could have changed his life but they just smiled for the cameras instead?
*Holes* my man
Duh… wtf yu think it’s so many Spanish street names lol
^ and whole cities. Los Angeles? San Francisco? lol
^ and states. Colorado? Nevada?
Imagine believing whites are the rightful owners of a bunch of places they cant even pronounce properly
Hey, @the-rain-on-your-dandelions, has anyone told you that you’re a genius? That’s an incredible system. I wish I had a friend group that could function for!
I could see this working for dinners, too
it’s like the Mom Friend Anxiety Hack, but for chores.
this is how a society is supposed to function. this is the norm we’ve all forgotten
Guys do centaurs have to eat both horse food and human food?
Centaur, eating out of a burlap sack of hay like it’s potato chips: So do you guys wanna get Chipotle later?
Centaur: *kneeling on the ground, ripping up bits of grass and eating it*
Nearby horse: *neighs*
Centaur: Well it’s easy for you to bend over, isn’t it?
Horse: *snorts*
Centaur: *through a mouthful of grass* Well goody goody for you, but some of us have two spines.
Human: Hey does somebody want the rest of my burger?
Centaur: Oh I’ll have it. I am starving.
Human: Didn’t you just eat like an entire barrel of hay?
Centaur: *snatches the burger* That was for the horse stomach not the human one. Don’t be racist, Carl.
DON’T BE RACIST CARL
That spine comment made me reevaluate my life
Two spines, two ribcages, and six limbs baby! And a tail! Four shoulders!
This picture makes my intellectual half happy but also causes me great pain
Sometimes I think about how the way I met my wife was like a fanfiction
We both had a scholarship to a college soccer team and were the only two competing for center forward, we hit it off instantly and became close friends right away. When our team went to nationals, we had to share a bed and ended up snuggling (and I was, up until that point, absolutely not a physically affectionate person). After we returned home I kept sneaking into her room because I couldn’t sleep without her. Our friends started accusing us of being together and talking crap so, to spite them, we thought it would be a good idea to fake date and sometimes held hands and stuff. We ended up kissing right before she left the country for almost a month and we basically pretended it never happened, and when she came back it happened again and again and then escalated. Cue these lines, verbatin:
Me: *grabs the hand heading between my legs* “Wait, wait.” *sighs, drops forehead to hers* “We’re idiots.”
Her, breathlessly, eyes on my lips: “I’ve always been an idiot.” *swoops in for another kiss*
We ended up taking and decide to be friends with benefits, but JUST kissing benefits, no sex, and then 5 minutes later we had sex. We sleep together for a couple weeks (all the time, any and everywhere) before deciding to make it official, then after another couple weeks say I love you (initially via her closing her eyes and moving her palm from her heart to mine back and forth like a useless lesbian), then about a month later talk about how we wanna get married.
Fast forward a year and we go to university together and we’re roommates. Fast forward four years and we’re married and eloping to Harry Potter World and the beach. Fast forward almost 7 years from when we met and we’re living in the same hometown we first met in and she’s the assistant coach for the team we used to play for. Sex life better than ever (“that much great sex all the time after years together in fics is unrealistic” my ass), I can’t cook for shit but I try, we ride bikes around town and we’re basically the only gays in the village and there’s a little rainbow statue on the outside of our windowsill.
7 years ago I was so in love with her I could barely breathe, and I love her a thousand times more now than I did then.
My energy
im the girl
EAT THE RICH
WHERE DO I GET ONE???
Right here
