How I’m feeling right now.
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@anonymousxblog
How I’m feeling right now.
Seriously though this is how I feel right now.
** Long Rant coming. You don’t need to read**
Like I’ve got a job at a dead end job that I used to like but now I’m fed up of it and feel ill and sick nearly everytime I’m there but feel fine when I get home.
I really want to quit but I can’t because then I won’t be able to pay my part of the rent and then pay for my phone and internet bills and most importantly buy my pets food etc so I can’t.
Even if I did quit (theoretically) it would take me a very long time (I’m not joking) to get a new job and for it to be full time permanent because everytime I’ve looked for a job they’ve all been the same I look at what you have to have and I’ve no where near what they need so I wouldn’t even get through the first stage.
I’d be terrible at any other job apart from the one I currently have and I hate it now I really am fed up of it like I said before. So yeah I’m stuck at a crap paying deadend job that I’ll be at the rest of my life. 😭
On a different note completely I have a boyfriend that I’ve been with for over a year now and I love him don’t get me he says the same to me as well but it’s always me asking to meet up when we can (not just because of COVID-19 was even before then) it’s 98% of the time and sometimes he does ask himself.
Like I had work this morning after that I went home and started walking on to meet him and I got to him around 2pm then we started walking back the way we came which I then knew he wanted to go home and it was only 4.30pm and he didn’t even have anything to do at home and he wasn’t having his tea anytime soon either so it just makes me feel like he’d had enough of me and wanted to go home.
Like he annoys me sometimes because he always makes me choose where to eat when we go out and he knows exactly what I will eat and where (I’m a fussy eater) and so I eventually choose them sometimes I ask him then he puts it back on me and makes me choose and makes up the excuse for me to choose before I’m a picky eater etc and I do the same when he asks me to choose so at them times sometimes I ask him to then uses the same excuse again. So he can do that and I can’t?
There’s also another that’s similar where if we’re on a walk say in a park and I’ll ask where he wants to sit and he’ll be like I’m not bothered you pick and then there’s other times where he asks me so I say the same back and then he gets a little annoyed because I won’t pick and I said that so again he can do that but I can’t?
How does that make any sense? It doesn’t. It’s not fair and it’s so annoying it’s the one thing that annoys me when I’m with him and then sometimes when I’m with him I’m talking to him about something and doesn’t even look or sound like he’s listening to me or doesn’t care because some of them conversations need a reply and he just doesn’t say anything back even if it’s me asking for advice on something.
Also when I talk to him about my job he knows I don’t like it there anymore and he didn’t (he used to work there as well) and I say I look for new jobs but I can’t find anything etc he says that’s because you see the negative in it all you won’t apply (doesn’t say it exactly like that but that’s the gist of it) then gets annoyed when we start that conversation each time which annoys me because I need to get it out of my system or want to talk to him about it.
I know some of the answers to what I’ve put liek I don’t even think I’d be any good at any other type of job because I’d be terrible at it and unhappy along with my terrible memory id be crap at the job and the other answers to what I put are also like how I think I care more about him etc that might not be true because I’m a person with a lot of low self esteem and always see the bad in myself there’s nothing good about me I’m ugly, crap memory, weird, no self confidence, anxiety too lazy and not loveable at all.
I need to stop thinking like this and getting myself annoyed and upset 😠 😢 about it because it can’t be good for my general health at all but I can’t help it because I’ve always been like this since I was a kid and always will be unfortunately.
Sorry for the long rant just needed to try get it out of my system to ignore this terrible post.
Just a little rant...
My friend says he might be moving to Scotland with his girlfriend if she gets a job there when she finishes uni I’m good at loosing friends I don’t know if I could cope with losing him we’ve been friends for 11 years.
Like the amount of people I’ve been friends with and then they randomly stop talking to me & don’t say why then my best friend from school stopped talking to me and she won’t tell me why I just don’t want it to happen with him :/
Don’t get me wrong I’d be happy for her if she got the job as she’s applied for 2 one there and one closer but I can talk to him about anything at all and I’ve not had that before and I don’t want to lose it.
He told me th other day and it’s still annoying me why is it still annoying me so much?? Like I had work this morning and it’s all I could think about and the thing is it was only a MIGHT so he might not even be going with her she might not even choose to go with that job if she gets it which is winding me up as well!!
URGHHH I’M SO ANNOYED WITH MYSELF MORE THAN ANYTHING!!!
Soooooo Pissed off right now yrghhhhhh how could you do that seriously???? 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 #PissedOff #Pissed #Annoyed #Moods #Feelings #Trust #Disappointed #family #Money
So I know what I did was the right thing to do but like the photo says the hard part is doing it, I’m thinking about taking back what I said to him, but if I do I know I’ll just get hurt later on and that its better for me to stop it now and get hurt with me doing it than you hurting me instead I know its going to be hard but I really need to do this, but at the same time all I want to do is talk to you all the time like we used to before I said what I said.
I just hope in time that you will still talk to me like we used to even if it takes time, I’ll always be your friend.
Not just a bad day.... a bad few weeks....
So true at the moment.
Telling someone you want to stop something and they don’t really talk to you much since (only been 2 days) but you know there upset because you can tell and want to change your mind about it just so there happy again and so you talk a lot more like we used to but wanting to stay with what you said because its the RIGHT THING TO DO but even though its the right thing to do deep down I DON’T WANT TO DO THAT, I just want to be the good person here and I want you to understand that and still talk to me all the time.
If your reading this please that that into account and talk to me about it because I hate what I did just much as you did so NO, I’M NOT FUCKING FINE.
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I love this show, best show ever!!! <3 Hopefully will be going to #Insurgence8 in June with my friend and meet Ian Somerhalder who is going!! I can’t wait!
Truth Dumbledore.
So true.
Any friend I’ve ever had has either stopped talking to me and I don’t know why or just never texts or messages etc me first, its always me doing the hard work always me making the effort and I’m sick of it, if you were really my friends you’d talk to me first some of the time too, its so annoying.
Annoyed
How can somebody who says they love animals say there going to put there GSD down because they can’t get rid of him? Yeah you’ve tried 6 times and tried taking him to Dogs Trust and they ‘wouldn’t take him’ because he’s too attached to you and you say he’s making you stressed and ill or whatever, its no reason to go and put a dog down especially when you have another dog and cat and your sister has 2 dogs and your mum has 1 and you all live in the same house and never take your dogs for walks? I think you all would be better without any dogs, its cruel to never take them out for a walk there dogs they need the exercise it’‘ll be boring staying inside or in the garden 24/7 its just wrong.
You all don’t deserve animals, but not being able to cope with the dog in no reason to but the fucking dog down. I’ve tried my best to help you in any way to keep the dog alive but you aren’t listening its as if you don’t care about animals. You’ve been doing level 2 animal courses for years and your like 25 you need to get a fucking grip and go out and get a job instead of being at college your whole life, you need to step up and be your own person and get more confident.
It’s just annoying how you can put a dog down that you’ve had since he was a puppy and is now 5 years old and not even give a fucking damn. Your not an animal lover if its that easy, because that’s the impression I've been getting for months from you.
Your sister has had a rant putting a status about it and how pissed off she is about what I've been saying but not naming names, but if you both decide to stop being friends with me over this then your not a good from anyway, I care more about animals than I could about anyone, my pets are my family they are more trustworthy than you lot and if your sister dis-invites me to her wedding in June (She’s 21) I’d be glad not to be one of her bridesmaids, I couldn’t watch somebody who says they love animals sooo much go and put one of there dogs down because they can’t handle him and get him another home, get a dog trainer or something and save up for it for gods sake! You complained that you can’t save up for a dog trainer because your other dog needs the vets and its costing £500 fair enough that comes first, but yet you can pay a hell of a lot of money on alcohol for your birthday when if you care so much about your dog all of that money could of gone towards to vet bill for your dog its in pain.
Rant Over.