Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
JVL
almost home
blake kathryn
ojovivo
cherry valley forever
noise dept.
$LAYYYTER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
art blog(derogatory)
Misplaced Lens Cap
#extradirty
@theartofmadeline
Product Placement
oozey mess
Origami Around
NASA
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@anxietyproject2014
Like many mental disorders, anxiety has the perception of a quick fix will solve everything. Anxiety disorder is not something individuals choose to have and can simply turn off and on. This should be clear, however like many people I have used the phase " i have anxiety over this long line" or homework etc. Stressed and anxiety should not be used interchangeably. People are unique and you never know what they are facing.
This is a picture of contentment. When was the last moment you felt content? Their is a difference only experience can explain between content and happy.
Anxiety robes contentment. I can think of babies who are not worried about what they look like or what people think of them. This perspective of innocence and the blessing of being naive to the many useless pressures is another perspective. The change that occurs when people somehow say "I am not good enough" can happen like a coming of age. I say let's change this to "I am capable and more than enough."
From heart failure to depression, U.S. Presidents have suffered from common health problems. Learn about the health issues of the men in the Oval Office.
Having a mental illness is not something anyone should be ashamed of. Presidents have had disorders, and mental illness alike. They lead a country and continue. The act of perseverance is amendable. When people support someone with any disability should be the same support as a mental illness. Anxiety is not something to be "sorry about"
This post -among many- on the dark side of Tumblr-, changed my perspective of the power of social media/blogging. I have been warned about not letting your social media be more interesting than your reality and to be careful about what you say online. But this entire assignment showed me a community of people with negative behaviors. This particular post haunts me.
My topic prompted some hard posts to see. Many( if not all) posts were raw, emotional and graphic. I’m talking about self-harm, suicidal thoughts, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and sexuality.
I saw post after post of people feeling alone and hurting in various ways.
I learned for the first time about ana, mia and other eating disorder names. These hash-tags encourage thinness in the extreme manner. Strangely, I now know I do not have a thigh gap. I didn't even know what a thigh gap was until Tumblr. Yes, this may seem small, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. No joke, I have not had ice-cream this week. I have caught myself looking at people differently – comparing my size.
I saw pictures and giffs of sharp objects cutting human flesh. This hurt me. I felt my eyes water as I tried to be strong viewing these posts multiple times. I even looked on my wrist thinking about people I love.
I saw blogs that mirrored diaries with posts and poems about how alone individuals felt. As a Psychology major, I know about depression and mental illness but with the ocean of these posts together, I am reminded of how widespread depression and anxiety is.
I saw simple comments of “like this and I won’t eat for a hour”, “like this if you tried killing yourself today” “like and I will cut”
I feel sick writing this now. This is not all the examples.
As seen, I was having an emotional time with Tumblr. After seeing some of these posts, I went to talk to my friend and someone heard me talking about the destructive nature of Tumblr. This lead to a conversation about how she can’t go on Tumblr anymore for fear triggering harsh emotions. The # trigger warning was not enough. Others joined the conversation with input about how Tumblr influenced them either in a positive or negative way.
Tumblr in a way normalizes all these issues. This is good because people feel connected but is bad because people are not getting needed help outside of the internet. People are also feeding fire with fire as images which could also be called poison, are flashed across a screen. Tumblr is a maze of victims and survivors.
This led me to conclude to be careful who you follow and let enter your mind. Be careful if you find yourself comparing yourself to others and always talk to someone if you are being affected by this scary dark side of Tumblr.
Tumblr is amazing for expressing myself- but I must recognize how this online community is influencing me.
Remember hope is real.
How America learned to stop worrying about worrying and pop its pills instead.
This articular addresses a veiw I have not disscuseed about anxiety.Yes therapy is important. But a controversial use is taking pills to treat anxiety. Doctors and healthcare should always be involved with this decision. Medications can help, This articular sets a tone of expectation for people to relay on the pills. It is important to remember the pills are not making someone to something new but instead simply assisting. Pills have pros and cons. What do you think?
Exploring My Peers Blogs
http://polyglotakuma.tumblr.com/
I decided to investigate http://polyglotakuma.tumblr.com/. This blog explores technology is a funny and informative way. The blogger addressee points of robots as a social issue in a real way with news and stories. This blog is more unique then many of the other blogs. I can relate to this blog because I have been influenced by the process of technically most my life. My father is an engineering working at Intel and older sister was the president of the robotics club at my high school. Specifically, my father is also now taken over as a head leader for the robotics team at my high school for many years. (shoot out to team 295). This involved the international program of First robotics completions. I remember as a children, seeing the metal and computer programming then, believing someone could make me a pet robot. This did not happen. Robots may not be my friends but technology is a part of my daily life. The very example of me writing on Tumblr instead of a essay is a clear example of the world is changing.
I learned about the ethical standard of biotech, an innovative cast, the side effects of social media including narcissism and competition, and finally I learned Burger Kings twitter was hacked with a social media showdown.
1. “More than 20,000 people started following @BurgerKing while it was under the hackers’ control” I learned people are entertained when things go wrong.
2.There is such a thing as robot strippers.
3. A 3D printed exoskeleton may be the new cast.
This has nothing to do with my blog.
What you see is an example of yarn bombing. Yarn bombing is a type of street art. I was introduced to this activity a few years ago and will continue to do some of this art over the summer. I love how reality turns into a play ground.
Clubs at UMASS Amherst
Some ways to get involved with the social issue of anxiety and mental illness in general is to join one of the clubs on campus or a RSO.
A group I will highlight is Active Minds UMASS Amherst Chapter. They are motivated to change the negative stigma of mental illness with community events and involvement. Events range from group meetings to large scale awareness events.
I am confident these paintings have not been on Tumblr.
The focus on the first,with the windmills, is the about the conflict of remaining connected to your past but not letting the past hold you back. The balance of being grounded in values but spirited in experience's is something many face with stress. Anxiety places a role in the emotions and questions that some may consider as they consider the past, future and present. Themes of conflict exist at the core of anxiety.
The painting with the colorful girl and room with bubbles shows a darker side. This girl wants to be light- meaning accepted- and simply float away but feels trapped in this empty room. Her many thoughts race a in her head; this is represented by the color. Eyes stare in a questioning glace. Anxiety is a trap. People with anxiety want to escape and let go of the destructive thoughts, but feel helpless. Hope is real. People are stronger.
These are some of my old paintings.
http://artbydover.yolasite.com/
Your students are literally writing acrostic poems. And they're terrible. Do you know who writes acrostic poems? Second graders. Use all the academic vocabulary about pedagogy and rhetoric you want, but there is no way you can justify the fact that your students are spelling their names vertically and adding adjectives. That is not college writing.
Do you know the purpose of Tumblr?
Egos can get in the way of learning. Here is another side:
All together as a class, we blog about social issues;
Like some who see this as a useless college assessment, you forget what the definition of blogging is.
Welcome to our English class, where we learn from experience rather than from pure instruction
In reality, this is what college students, will face in the future.
Thank you for engaging with us as we develop as writers – even helping me fulfill a requirement for this assignment.
Happily, #engl writ 112 will continue to post about what we want.
Isn’t this the point of Tumblr?
To allow people to share ideas?
To This Day Project
This gave me chills… Take the time to watch this, and really listen. It’s so beautifully well done and magical. It speaks the truth about bullying and it artistically displays a powerful message.
Bullying is related to my topic of anxiety. Anxiety can partially be caused from other people's words, actions and the very perception of people's opinions. Bullying is in the end a negative enforcer for the individual. Instead being told you are worthy and respected, messages of hate and abuse tear people down. A correlation exists between anger, anxiety and bullying. The long term effect of bullying can be server. Even with this, overcoming is real.
Green Day - "Basket case" This was possibly written about Billie struggling with anxiety. The lyrics "Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me It all keeps adding upI think I'm cracking up" can see the comparison with how someone may feel.
Do you find yourself caught in the cycle in this diagram?
This graph captures the cycle of cognition's, emotions and actions in social anxiety. The relationship is symbiotic, All must be changed to effectively overcome. Disorders are not one sided. A multiple - step processes is necessary.
Generative Writing Remix
I will be remixing my generative writing about choosing a college into a larger explanation into my though process over those eventful months. It’s better performed with emphasis. Clearly this isn't the whole story but here is but a glimpse of my thoughts- similar to free verse in poetry.
Enter my circle of so called friends out of convenience.
On my campus of mainly upper White pillaged people, we were the group taking AP classes and the captains on teams, heading to top geared schools.
You see my friends were being accepted into UCLA, Cal and Stanford. While there I was like um so that’s not me.
I was expected to have life together. Whatever that means.
I joined this pristine group my sophomore year after being a bando- part of the band but not complete because the color guard was not considerably completely a band kid . Thoughts in my head played hid and seek. Doubts of ability and questions like “will I ever be as smart like them” had answers yelling saying “NO.”
I have no idea what school to be part of.
This entire time, I thought some deep magical double rainbow moment of insight would come to me.
Picking a college is like picking out a wedding dress. From the perspective of being a bridesmaid, I understand the pressure of choosing a white dress to represent the marriage. Similarly, dedicating to a college to be the college is filled with pressure.
They told me I could do anything. Was it wrong for me to believe them? They were my parents, school and friends. I was expected to have life together. Whatever that means.
Grades that were in the top percentile, a bright personality, clubs, clubs, clubs- other extra curricular.
I looked good on paper. My applications were complete.
Enter senior year
Me and my happy spirits. Teachers who know me, call me whimsical. I was comfortable about being a little different in our little group of high achievers- the unsaid “dumb one”. I started merrily along the process of college.
My epic college essay was geared for the readers of my fate
Topic- commitment to anti Sex Trafficking Club. (Community service and social justice- yes that's playing the game to look good, dramatic: yes- honestly authentic- yes)
From SoCal to New York, I applied like tossing seeds across a yard with weeds. I knew I was expected to go to college. I expected to get into a few backups. Applying to colleges was a mix of emotions from doubt and simply hoping my story was more a captivating then my number.
1 test 1 fate. 1 number to say: You are good enough, 1 number defining me as ready to enter a higher education. A number to say I am able. It’s been said this number does not explain my passions, emotions and interests. Yet this score of intelligence directs life choices. Let it be said once again for my own well being. This number is not my fate. Now whisper it now shoat it. This number is not ME
I was expected to have life together. Whatever that means.
I wanted to get away from my small town and see a change. It didn’t matter where. I researched to a minimally. I was never good enough. To be good enough was not really a characteristic I thought of myself. Sure I was confident, but the thought of college scared me. The practice of comparison stole my self-worth.
To my surprise I got into more schools then I expected. A problem in the excitement- Now I had options. Let the indecision begin. The 2 top schools I was rejected to.
Here I created the epic excel sheer Homer would be most proud of. What school has the best campus? Food? Options? Professors, clubs? Price? Scholarships?
Did I want a small school or a big one?
I had no idea.
I bring you to May 30th. The date college decision are due. At 11:50 pm, I choose UMASS. Why did I even apply? Because you could take classes at other colleges and all-knowing College Broad recommended the school based on characteristics.
Done. I didn't visit UMASS, know anything about the weather other than it’s colder and not spring year round. I didn't know UMASS is considered a party school or how it is associated with other schools like the UC System. I was naive and vision-less. I knew UMASS website, not UMASS reality.
1 day later I discovered a got into a school I was wait-listed to. Um what.
Not happening I had to finally decide-again.
I eventually accepted this private schools acceptance in beautiful upper NY .I was technically registered to be part of two campus in the fall.
That wonderful magical pixie dust moment of insight would be great to show up. no, it didn't. .
Then summer came, like many I found myself on YouTube watching silly videos to pass some spare time. UMASS Doo Wop Shop Acapella group came in my feed. What a video, I almost went there. Then I searched for the school I was currently switched to going to acapella group and it was terrible. This got me searching into the all realms of the internet see how limiting a small liberal arts campus was.
My head was filled with thoughts and emotions of “what am I doing with my life” and “Nothing makes sense in the world” and even “who am I.
” The world was not ending but to me it was.
In July, a few weeks before orientation I emailed UMASS and was back in the system and was done with the small liberal arts school
Yes a YouTube acappella group picked my college(Slightly embarrassin) I still don’t know where I’m supposed to be but I am content at where I am. This is the difference.
This definition helped me with understanding the difference between a panic attack and anxiety attack. Be careful of self -diagnoses and as always, if you believe you have a disorder or simply feel like talking, go talk to someone. This sounds too simple and can be scary thought but it is worth it.
As this post says believing , "I can do this" is part of recovery.
A Panic Attack may feel like it will last a lifetime. It won't. You may not know when you will have a panic attack but getting help on dealing with them will help. See professions.
