I have been absent from my blog for a while. So many changes ...
Based on the last 3 years, I finally gathered the courage to leave behind something that was very dear to me, but also introduced some of the greatest ‘hurt’ I have experienced.
People say I’m a pessimist. People question my happiness. I don't believe in it.
To me happiness is something you have to work for. It is earned. I have lost so so much and I cannot fathom that I could still lose more; yet here I am.
A week ago my cat stopped eating. I took him to the vet and they kept him overnight. They filled him with an IV and assured me he had eaten. All symptoms pointed towards his hyperthyroidism and that I should not worry, it would pass.
That evening, I watched as he withered in pain. Not only could he not relieve himself of the amount of liquid he had been filled with, but he was visibly in considerable pain. Here I am blessed. A close friend worked for the local Animal Emergency Service and suggested I take him in. That way they could expedite him for an ultrasound the following morning. I was hesitant, as it was a long way across town, but eventually decided he could take no more and drove him out.
Now let me clarify - to most people, cats are pets. Nothing more than a living accessory. To me, that is not the case. I am a cat person through-and-through. My cats are my children (as I have no human children). They chose me - more to the point - he chose me, as a little kitten, smoothing his face through the cage and telling me in no uncertain terms, that I belonged to him and his sister and he would be coming home with me. So began my journey with these two monsters almost 13 years ago.
Of all the cats I have owned, never have I experienced a personality like his. He is loyal like a dog, caring and playful, comforting and curious. He has been perfect. When friendships made, became friendships lost, he remained stoically at my side. He has always been there for me. Through countless promises broken that I will never need to be sad, or feel anxious about people again. He was there.
The following day I received a call from the Medical Team. Every aspect of what could be a worst case scenario, had come true. For the months and months of lugging him back and forth to the vet, they never once checked, what now appear to be obvious signs of trouble. I am beyond devastated. I feel that again, the people I entrust the most have let me down.
My boy-cat is okay, for now, but starts an aggressive course of chemotherapy.
As this is the doctor’s main focus, his previously ‘undiagnosed’ heart condition is not as big a concern, but a worry non-the-less.
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