We Are Here

Ace ~25 years old  She/Her  Make a Deal with Me Yes I have Cat Pictures

[greelin]

if i got possessed demonically i wouldn’t even notice it. with everything else i’ve got going on

[desert-palm]

[captain-acab]

Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm's worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you're towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you

As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me

(*in fact you do not swerve because you're on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)

[janmisali]

oh I know how to make a poll's results look like the letter E watch this

what is the rightmost digit of the number of responses this poll has right now? (it should be visible before you vote.)

0, 1, or 2

3

4 or 5

6

7, 8, or 9

Remaining time: 5 days 21 hours

[desert-palm]

[captain-acab]

Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm's worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you're towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you

As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me

(*in fact you do not swerve because you're on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)

[foone]

A fun thing about computer skills is that as you have more of them, the number of computer problems you have doesn't go down.

This is because as a beginner, you have troubles because you don't have much knowledge.

But then you learn a bunch more, and now you've got the skills to do a bunch of stuff, so you run into a lot of problems because you're doing so much stuff, and only an expert could figure them out.

But then one day you are an expert. You can reprogram everything and build new hardware! You understand all the various layers of tech!

And your problems are now legendary. You are trying things no one else has ever tried. You Google them and get zero results, or at best one forum post from 1997. You discover bugs in the silicon of obscure processors. You crash your compiler. Your software gets cited in academic papers because you accidently discovered a new mathematical proof while trying to remote control a vibrator. You can't use the wifi on your main laptop because you wrote your own uefi implementation and Intel has a bug in their firmware that they haven't fixed yet, no matter how much you email them. You post on mastodon about your technical issue and the most common replies are names of psychiatric medications. You have written your own OS but there arent many programs for it because no one else understands how they have to write apps as a small federation of coroutine-based microservices. You ask for help and get Pagliacci'd, constantly.

But this is the natural of computer skills: as you know more, your problems don't get easier, they just get weirder.

[sreegs]

you know you've made it when you're googling problems and ending up with 0-9 results

[manyblinkinglights]

#you don't actually have to be good to have these problems#you just have to be obsessed with a micro-issue that no one else cares about

[teratocybernetics]

[xkcd-for-that]

Certified skydiving instructors know way more about safely falling from planes than I do, and are way more likely to die that way.

TV Problems

[ms-demeanor]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[phantomrose96]

First season of FMA:B is actually unreasonably funny because every episode at the 2 minute mark Ed goes “remember Al we can’t let anyone know our bodies are metal and we committed human transmutation. Because the military will probably execute us” and then every episode at the 14 minute mark Ed is screaming at the top of his lungs about how he and Al are made of metal and committed human transmutation. And also the President of the Military is there smiling and nodding and not giving a fuck because Ed is the military’s specialist little boy and he’s expressly permitted to commit murder in the streets and do arson and treason and tax evasion if he’s got enough hands for it and that’s completely fine because, as previously stated, he’s their specialist little sacrifice boy.

[phantomrose96]

And also the military already knows he committed human transmutation and they think that’s really really great. It’s their favorite Edward Elric fun fact.

[phantomrose96]

@redrobin-detective it is in fact a really great subversion of the “teenage protagonist successfully has the Adult Institution scrambling and fumbling, due to his cunning teenage wiles.” Ed DOES fancy himself cunning, but he’s literally only getting away with this because Bradley Is Letting Him. For the first several seasons they’re just letting him.

In the arc leading up to the Promised Day when all cards are out on the table, adult military strategist Roy Mustang is leading a charge against the establishment while Ed has faked his death and gone into hiding as, genuinely, the only thing he’s capable of doing on his own as a naive and scared 16 year old just trying to survive.

[blorbologist]

'on his own' even then he's being babysat by two chimeras and a homunculus + prince having a custody dispute over a teenage body! And before then half the time Mustang is lobbing problems at Ed like enrichment in their enclosure, or Armstrong, Ross, Brosh and Hughes are keeping an eye on him - he is regularly on his own in the field or when he's going rogue to be a curious little shit, but there's very often the hand of an adult present! Even several! It takes a village to raise a smartass child soldier and his brother 💕

(It's also really fun once the gloves come off and Bradley goes 'okay your special little boy privileges are revoked. That includes you Mustang btw I'm taking your toys away'. Timeout for naughty disruptive scientist-magician-soldiers.)

[dramatic-dolphin]

since there is such an "english speakers who don't even try to pronounce a foreign mame correctly" epidemic, native english speakers often try to overcorrect and end up thinking they have a moral imperative to pronounce every foreign name correctly at all times. so i'm gonna hold your hand and look into your eyss as i say this: you can't. you can't pronounce every sound in a language you don't speak. and that's fine. it happens to the rest of us too. we won't be mad so long as you try your best.

[paper-mario-wiki]

in case you're wondering what the greatest AMV of all time is, it's this one from 2008.

[paper-mario-wiki]

[en-tailsgaythings]

y'all need to watch this this pride month

[bi-any-chance]

Bi culture TikTok

[queersforpluto]

[companionsofusall]

id: first thing is a tiktok video. The guy in the video says, with maybe a slight texan/southern accent: “I love when people just assume that I’m straight. Like today, at Taco Bell. I was sitting across from this attractive couple, and I’m copping looks because I think they’re cute, but he catches me, and starts giving me dirty looks ‘cause I’m lookin at his girl, so I hit him with the ol’ [raises his eyebrows, then looks up and down the viewer, and gives a slight smile]. I’ve never seen a man so confused in my life. I’m sittin’ over here laughin’ like ah-hah-HAH bitch! Nobody’s safe!”

The next two pictures are from what appears to be from a stand up show, with a young white comedian, who says, “I’m bisexual which means you’re all at risk,” They point to an audience member, “We’ll start with you and work around.” end id]

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[horbse]

H

[auberylis]

O

[horsefigureoftheday]

R

[fabledgalaxies]

S

[the-arcade-doctor]

E

[circus-mcgurkus]

!

[horsefigureoftheday]

[animatedtext]

[l3ominor]

[hellenhighwater]

Should I be saving my money for a down payment on a house and getting rid of furniture so I have less to move? Yes. And also yes.

But consider:

She's $300 and I need her

[hellenhighwater]

You guys are a terrible influence.

[iamnotlanuk]

[dahliavandare]

You’re just not ready. At no point in this video when he says the next thing are you ready.

[teaboot]

I just need to confirm though, would you be for translives as well, and be loud about it?

[azspot]

“Because the truth is, tech doesn’t have an image problem. It doesn’t have a message problem. It has an intention problem. What’s wrong with the axe murderer who broke into my house is not that he hasn’t successfully persuaded me to buy into his narrative. What’s wrong is that he’s trying to kill me with an axe. Similarly, when you launch a product that’s designed to put millions of people out of work, block access to sources of verifiable truth, replace human creativity with slop, and lower the barriers to every sort of atrocity, the problem isn’t that you haven’t told the public a good story about those things. The problem is that you are trying to do them.”

— The 40 Most Rage-Inducing Problems in Tech

[santhipoma]