antique stores, but only if they're classy

a shakarian blog, for my sins. ME3 ending? I don't know her

[nat-20s]

unironic number one most important and useful writing tip I can give you is to make your women weirder. If your female characters are feeling flat or one dimensional give them a odd lil obsession or hobby. ESPECIALLY the sexy characters add a little “strange and offputting” spice in there and I’ll 1000% guarantee they’ll become better. Listen to me. Listen to ME it’ll work or your money back let the femme fatale give live newts to people as thanks and she’s become a more engaging and realized person.

[wizzard890]

before twitter goes, here’s my favorite tweet of all time

[parksrway]

being the creator of your own blorbo is so fucking hard I have to do EVERYTHING around here

[real-lotgh-screencaps]

[beaubluepotoo]

[medievalthymes]

for the next emoji update they should add an ouroboros

[medievalthymes]

“how many time in a day do you need to express the never-ending cycle of creation and destruction, birth and death, the cosmos without beginning or end?” more than you might think

[falsedetective]

Louise Ross, “Collective Imagination: Goncharov (1973) (2022) as a Model for Communal Filmmaking” (Anarchist Perspectives in Film, Winter 2025)

[fishpondfish]

anders dragonage is such a character. he has a clinic in a sewer. he wears feathers. he’s both tainted and possessed. he occasionally glows. he’s the reason mages aren’t allowed to leave the tower for PE. he came up with a cat name before he got a cat. he’s bad at spelling. he blew up a church. he has a “controversy” section on his wikipedia page, but the controversy in question is him being way too into men for gamer dudebros in 2011 to handle, not the fact that he blew up a church. he has a wikipedia page

[andrastes-strap-on]

Varric is the most character of all time and I can’t get over him

He’s a business man. He hates his parents. He has a crossbow named after the woman he loves. She made him the crossbow. It’s so powerful nobody can know. He writes crime novels. For a while his only friends were bisexuals. He’s famous. He’s a wanted criminal. He once organised an underground expedition/treasure hunt. He writes porn. His best friend went to magic hell. His other best friend has one arm. He works for a powerful religious organisation. He runs a spy network. He’s mayor of his hometown. He’s killed dragons. He refuses to cover his chest. He won’t sleep with you. He can turn invisible. His brother lost his mind. He’s four feet tall. He’s confused by chocolate. He was kidnapped by the church police.

[emmavakarian-theirin]

[apricare]

somehow Mass Effect still makes me feral 

[yellowwperil]

girl help i’m being forced to work @ my job

[fxlthyangxl-deactivated20240122]

[cargopantsman]

[lemonsharks]

My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

[sighinastorm]

I like this so much better than the idea that our ancestors would be embarrassed or ashamed of us for being “soft” or some crap like that.

[therinde-dreams]

My ancestors, watching me stuff my face with fried chicken while studying: She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar. WE MADE IT

[idhren]

She eats like an imperial concubine and can afford to study like am imperial scholar

[villainous-queer-deactivated202]

My ancestors watching me use my stand mixer while living in a small apartment and attending university: Thou hast kneadeth bread in FOUR hail marys??? FOUR??? And thou ist poor as a churchmouse, yet liveth in a fine cottage with four pounds butter and fresh berries in thy larder!! And two featherbeds! And thou attendeth the King’s college, as a lord!!

[lagt-duck]

My ancestors being like:

Look at this fine young lady! She can paint she can sew and embrody, she sings and read

And without a wealthy father to pay for that, plus she is florid in the body! She doesn’t know hunger!

We did it!

[ruffboi-mags]

Me: /wearily studying/

My Ancestors: TRULY SH— what? They? A little unorthodox, but reasonable I suppose. TRULY THEY PROSPER, FOR THEY LIVE IN A DWELLING WITH MANY ROOMS AND ONLY THEIR SPOUSE TO SHARE IT WITH! THEY HAVE DOGS WHO DO NOT PERFORM A FUNCTION! THEY HAVE MANY BOOKS AND DO NOT HAVE TO SPIN THEIR OWN YARN! THEY BATHE AT A WHIM WITH GENTLE SOAP FREE OF LYE! OUR DESCENDANT BRINGS HONOR AND PRIDE TO OUR LINEAGE!

Me: /yawns and sips my coffee/

My Ancestors: /cheer wildly/

[shadow-daughter]

Me: *hunched over at my desk nursing a headache.*

My Ancestors: “Truly, we prosper; see here, our infirm descendant need not even work on her poor days, but has the luxury to rest as she sees need! A doctor attends to her illnesses; her clothes are warm and free of pests; she cares for exotic and dangerous animals within her own home! We have found the height of luxury!”

[amuseoffyre]

Me: *treats myself to a pineapple and a bunch of bananas*

My Georgian ancestors: ZOOTH SHE HAS BOUGHT A PINEAPPLE! NOT MERELY BORROWED ONE! TRULY SHE HAS ACHIEVED FAR MORE THAN WE COULD KNOW!

[captainlordauditor]

me: [puts on warm socks and a blanket, is now warm regardless of the weather outside]

My impoverished Russian Jewish ancestors:

[existentialterror]

Me: [learns to knit from youtube videos]

My ancestors: Our descendant, the heir to all our hopes and fears for a far-off future… She can buy fine clothes woven and knit by automatons, with but a fraction of a day’s earnings… and she does… she has so much free time to do as she pleases… and she uses some of that time to do what we did.

One woman from rural Poland, who died from smallpox in 1717 CE, a grandmother at 35: I knit roses and peonies into my and my children’s gloves… it wasn’t much extra work to dye the red, once I had already cleaned the wool and spun the yarn, and to knit in the designs… and I wasn’t a gifted knitter but I was a good knitter, and I thought, well, it might not make a difference to how warm the glove is, but it made the children happy and it made me happy. I liked to make things beautiful when I could.

Another woman, a peasant from what’s now France, who died from getting kicked by a mammoth in 8995 BCE: [Patting her on the back] I made my family’s clothes too. Every day my sister and I wove and wove and tended our children. We went out of our way to make the cloth lovely. Not a trace of it remains anywhere on earth now… But it mattered to us. And she might not know our names, or know it was us, but evidently, it matters to her too. She has so much beauty available to her, in every direction, and she wants to make it where we once made it.

[everyone sobbing and high-fiving each other.]

A man from Britain, 1104 CE, sitting at the trans-temporal telescope, reporting on my doings: She’s stopped knitting and now she’s playing minecraft.

The other ancestors: Ah, yes, the dream of building. We know this one well. What vision doth she design now?

Telescope man: Looks like… Some kind of floating temple?

Everyone: [Goes completely apeshit]

[lasrina]

Me: *literally just sitting here petting my dog*

My ancestors from 25,000 years ago: puppy

[turnpikeghosts]

goncharov

[dovahbee]

Shepard’s first conversations with the crew when she gains command of the Normandy sr1 are hilarious

Shepard: hey so all of these conversations are going horribly. My XO and Gunnery chief are xenophobic. My LT has a crush on me. I was racially insensitive to Wrex. My pilot is an insubordinate little shit. Please tell me you’re chill

Garrus: Haha, well you don’t have to worry about me

Shepard: Good. Tell me about yourself, why’d you join up?

Garrus: C-sec wouldn’t let me kill or abuse criminals. Spectres don’t have any red tape so I’m here to do things my way

Shepard: oh for the love of god

[dovahbee]

Some of my favourite tags regarding the Normandy crew❤️

[corseque]

if I was the dragon age developers and I just finished writing my 1,043,424th flag to keep the worldstate of the game consistent after all the 100 branching paths the story took since origins, I would be desperately looking for a way to reset the game board and destroy the world so that I could restart without having to deal with decisions developers made more than a decade ago