It’s hard to explain being asexual to someone, because generally they won’t understand. If you say “sex is gross” they’ll say “but what about it is gross”. They’ll say “but you want to get married and have kids” and “but you want to date don’t you? you’re attracted to people?”
And I am attracted to people. But my attraction is Different, and here’s how.
To a lot of people, attraction is like a craving. A sudden pull in the gut, your groin going Ding Ding Ding We have a winner! Let’s have sex with that one! But it’s not like that for me. I’ve never felt that, not once. But I feel attraction. My attraction is “wow, they’re really cute” and “their personality is so nice” and “they make me laugh”. I still feel love (keep in mind that I’m talking about asexual, not aromantic), it’s just not tinged with the overwhelming desire to kiss and hump and have sex. When I’m in a relationship, or want to be in a relationship, it’s more “wow, I really like this person, they make me happy, I think we could do great things together and be wonderful”, and that’s normal, but there is generally an undercurrent with other people that’s also saying “and we could have sex together and I bet they’re gorgeous”. Now, it’s hard for me to explain this because I don’t feel that. I don’t know what goes through the head of someone who experiences sexual attraction, but it’s something like that.
When a non-ace person looks at chocolate, they get a craving. When I look at chocolate, it’s just chocolate. I might choose to eat it (I’m pretty sex-repulsed, so probably not) or I might not, but I don’t need it, it’s not important to me, the forefront (or back) of my mind isn’t “Oh my god I need that chocolate I want that chocolate”. And non-ace people don’t feel sexual attraction all the time, I understand that; but I don’t feel it ever and that’s the difference.
