Bro, chill

● 22 || she/her || bi || infp || selfship || its MY TRAUMA and I get to pick the unhealthy coping mechanism ●

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

woe! texted a casual acquaintance "I've been considering getting into knotting"

[jaguarguard]

Why?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

KNITTING TYPO

[i-suggest-murder]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

thank you faithful henchpeople of tumblr. you do my bidding well...

[cpericardium]

hey everyone "I" have something to show "you"

[cpericardium]

[cpericardium]

[whereshadowsmakeshadows-deactiv]

Spongebob didn’t swallow cum or eat ass or have clinical depression or any of this stuff on these memes he loved his friends and making krabby patties

[squidsmeister-deactivated201708]

why is this in past tense spongebob is still alive 

[seriouslyitsjessyca]

It’s in past tense because he does all of that now

[caprisunsport-deactivated202010]

damn my pants ripped in the desert ahhh the sand so hot on my dick

[volukai]

bro look out for that cactus

[caprisunsport-deactivated202010]

ahh the cactus so pain on my dick

[officialpenisenvy]

in my high school a few years ahead of me there was a polyamorous girl named luna who was dating a guy and a girl and the girl was named (i swear to god this is her birth name) marea. they were named moon and tide and they were lesbian lovers. i thought it was the most romantic fated thing ever as a tiny baby queer it would make me sigh in adoration. the boyfriend's name was frank

[4whomittolz]

[sleepy-bebby]

[themoonandmyman]

to whom am I squeaking

[aropride]

my soap themed twitter timeline^

my appliance themed twitter timeline^

[martindykewood]

im barely exaggerating when i say i think of this every single day

[draconym]

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

[draconym]

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

[segamascott]

tell the chef i said yum dot com

[thekidsfromyestergay]

This was on a post about how it's ignorant and privileged to wear headphones in public and I fear its already become a part of my vocabulary. Must everything harbor a moral failure.

[innerchildabortionclinic]

favorite genre of joke. starting a collection

[cherubg1rl]

[retroject]

I found a lovely snail at work who was dried out so I let him have a shower and he seemed to enjoy it!! 🐌🚿

[scififantasystuff]

[harbinger-of-silly]

All gays will go to hellsite

[king-of-oreo]

What if in hellsite but not gay

[punky-beaver-offical]

[king-of-oreo]

NO!

[avhira]

[gonzos-humansona]

my hips don't lie but they will exaggerate details, misrepresent the facts, and on occasion deceive via omission of crucial information

[dogpuppy]