someday, even artificial flowers will bear fruit

hi im kiri. sometimes i do things. writing archive @valderaa & valdera on ao3.

[aranarumei]

ssmy + hrkg analysis masterpost

hi everyone. kiri here. this is a collection of most posts I’ve made that qualify as “analysis” of either sasaki to miyano or hirano to kagiura! (“thoughts” is maybe a more accurate word, but it’s a little less impressive, isn’t it…?)

for navigation purposes, I’ve split the links into several categories, and sorted them by newest -> oldest. and as it’s a long post, everything has been kept under the cut!

character dynamics

hirano & ichinose

tashiro & sasaki

kagiura & hanzawa

miyano & niibashi

miyano & kagiura

kagiura & sasaki

niibashi & hirano

sasaki & hirano & hanzawa & ogasawara

kuresawa & hirano

shirahama & kagiura

tashiro & ogasawara

kuresawa & tashiro

chapter commentary

ch 53 of sasaki to miyano

ichinose in hirano to kagiura’s vol 6 extras

kiri analyzes: ch 28 of hirano to kagiura

kiri analyzes: ch 27 of hirano to kagiura

some thoughts on “…it doesn’t make my heart race, though.”

ch 51 of sasaki to miyano

on love (and basketball): hirano to kagiura, ch 23b

miscellaneous posts

gekkan BL akikawa-kun

concepting a transfem sasaki

what would separate hirano and kagiura?

about hanzawa’s older/younger sister

how much does sasaki talk about hirano?

you WILL read my visions of hanzawa to tashiro

end notes: while I said this was more "thoughts" than "analysis," not every thought I've had is actually on this list. if you'd really like to hear me yap, I tag any substantial thoughts with #in this essay i will, and any textpost I make with #kiri.txt

[tweetsongs]

i agree so much about making your blorbos pathetic but i do fear that many take this to mean 'make them more traditionally feminine/submissive' which genuinely hurts my soul. make your blorbos pathetic in interesting character-oriented ways. understand their neuroses and turn the dials up to eleven. juxtapose the parts of life they handle extremely well with the parts of their lives that make them eat shit. make them angry. make them cold. make them pave their own way to hell while building walls preventing them from seeing any other way. please i'm begging you no more pathetic as an euphemism for bottoming im gonna mclose it.

[hussyknee]

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

[redstonedust]

yall ever lose interest in something so you stop seeking out content for it and your brain will be like. wow its so crazy that that thing used to be everywhere and then everyone stopped talking about it. so crazy that it fell off like that because nobody is talking about it on my personal curated social media and youtube algorithms. surely no other factors here.

[leephupp]

Hrkg chapter 36 spoilers

HE LOOKS LIKE A BUG

[phantomrose96]

I want to play in the sun!!!!!! Instead they’ve got me writing Teams Message!!!!!!!

[adreamngofdragons]

Shuddup I'm cooking

Chapter 9:

And then chapter 30:

[adreamngofdragons]

Wait hold up, I'm still cooking:

Chapter 30 again:

[adreamngofdragons]

@average-kuresawa-enjoyer these are really good tags

[painacony]

i feel like i can somewhat talk about ch 35 finally

just this one part though

"you're not doing it from the back?"

"i wanna do it from the front"

do yall hear this

this and t t he fucking paneling. hirano on top. kagi on the bottom. the ongoing pattern of kagi on his knees. his face near hiranos crotch area. like. there is no reason to do this other than the one reason.

and another thing

we're gonna skip the blatant near kiss visual because we know what that is (they are getting so so close). why does hirano immediately close his eyes. do people normally close their eyes when they hug if they dont plan on immediately melting into it? or was he expecting something else? lets not talk about the way he ever so slightly tilts his head or i may explode fr

this and hiranos habit of just. burying his face into kagi's shoulder. he has no reason to do that other than he wants to and can.

thats his fucking spot now !!!!

so for someone who is still getting used to hugging isnt it funny how he seems to feel right at home in kagis arms. or rather having kagi in his arms

look at this shit

look at how hirano hugs kagi from the front vs the back. or the before vs after.

yall this is. freaking visual storytelling

also whys this transition so so slow

whats the point of this what is it. if not make it erotic in some way. and then immediately talking about. the first time???? doing it as lovers???? harusono i know your game. ive played these games before with ssmy and the whole piercing as an euphenism for penetration thing. mark ill have for the rest of my life i want you to be my first thing. i dont know if i can be gentle cant promise it wont hurt thing. you cannot fool me.

anyways in conclusion theyre both switches but it's Important that when they start having sex hirano gets to have the high ground literally or figuratively at least until he gets more comfortable with sex. and kagi is all too happy to oblige since he loves having hirano above him and being dominated lets be honest. wait thats probably what those panels-

looking at it again hirano starts to put his arms around him before kagi has even turned around but kagi does as he was told and lets hirano hug him from behind and they have a good time. so good hirano even lets him hug him from the front afterwards. im uh im cooking something wait

that panel literally has hirano on his knees taking kagi from the back. the first time they touch as lovers. and then doing it from the front afterwards

tl;dr this whole scene as a metaphor for sex ok bye

wait. one more thing.

hands

i dont know what this is but this is SOMETHING and i rest my case

[painacony]

#i was gonna say more but then you exploded me

no please say more dont let me be alone in this

[booksandberries]

bouncing off of you to talk about this crazy, crazy chapter congratulations on activating Can't Shut Up Disease. this is 2000 words.

INSANE, ALL OF IT IS INSANE.

Repeating pictures for ease of reference (for readers, I. am dual screening. Because Harusono-sensei is bonkers and so is this fandom and itmakes me ill.)

Everyone has pointed out Hirano Over Kagiura, Kagiura Under Hirano (close to crotch, Sensei, PLEASE). Sub Kagiura real by which I mean Puppy Kagiura real by which I mean every smut writer in this fandom is RIGHT to describe Kagiura as worshipping Hirano, boy can you CALM DOWN

It did immediately stand out to me that Hirano is leaning back slightly, and I'm saying this 'cause I trust my little tumblr circle niche of this fandom. There's still so much Hirano isn't sure about, this is so NEW and it's just not stuff that comes easily to him But we know this doesn't mean he's rejecting Kagiura outright based on Freaking Everything Else. LITERALLY just hugged him, literally just FORCED KAGIURA TO THE FLOOR SO THAT HE COULD TRY OUT THE METHOD OF TOUCHING HIM THAT HE'S BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR HOW MANY HOURS NOW hold on we gotta back up

Wait also real quick, I do just wanna say that "Not going from the back?" / "I want to do it from the front." does sound worse in English what with the Vagueness of "it", but that's just typical Japanese leaving out the subject. Probably. Honestly some of the HEY GUYS HEEEYYYY HOLD UP is probably still there anyway. Also, I need to do a proper comparison with like Sasaki and Miyano sometimes, but I am enamored with how Kagiura speaks casually to Hirano. Or maybe I need to analyze Yashiro's speaking patterns 'cause it could be literally just normal for roommates like obv they're gonna be closer than normal senpai-kouhai friends, but. Endears me nonetheless. Also because I don't think I've said this out loud, Hirano speaks THE MOST casually by FAR. It's always hard to tell where you should use like swear words because Japanese just fundamentally does not have the same breadth of Bad Words that English does even before getting into how casual esp young people can be about using curse words, bUT. Hirano absolutely swears. Him I'm sure about. Hirano absolutely says shit piss and fuck. ☝️ not in front of teachers.

WE'RE ONE PANEL IN AND AT 4 PARAGRAPHS APOLOGIES TO ANYBODY WHO CLICKED ON THAT READ MORE

Brief sidebar to the Near Kiss Panel.

I know. You Know. wtf Sensei. oh my god.

Extremely good point that Hirano's eyes are closed. It's like he's feeling that sort of Anticipation that people usually feel before a kiss. I don't think he's Actually expecting a kiss because he trusts Kagiura to honor his boundaries. That Trust is also why he melts into Kagiura's hugs every time. Theory.

HIS SPOT!!!

I'm desperately hoping that we'll have an arc about Hirano really learning to lean on Kagiura. Like, yeah he got to learn basketball from him, but that's not really a display of Trust, right? He relied on Kagiura, asked for his help, but for something that ultimately isn't super important. Hirano cares enough about the sports festival to cheat, as we heard, lmao, but I think that's more about him being a little competitive go-getter who likes Doing Things. With a violent streak. Mayhaps also part of why he gets along with Hanzawa. Sidebar off the sidebar, Hirano must be doing little workouts with Kagiura like all the time because a) we know they do that, we know Kagiura works out in their dorms on top of all he does at club and b) on God's green earth why is a guy who sits around studying all day so strong. Natural tendency or a body type that easily gains/retains muscle only goes so far. I love that he's still weaker than Kagiura, though, thank you Harusono-sensei for honoring logic. My sidebars are TOO LONG. BACK TO HIRANO AND LEANING ON KAGIURA.

Hirano is a guy with a decent sense of responsibility. He goes furthest for Kagiura, obviously, but in general he's a guy who looks after others--Miyano, Sasaki, being on the disciplinary committee, the teachers always asking him to help out with stuff. I think it's part of his like. I don't want to say inflexible, but maybe rather straightforward thinking? Which I'm sure helps him with academic studies, but human relationship stuff is much more wibbly wobbly, and that's where he struggles. Not in that he lacks good interpersonal relationships, of course! Like, in many ways, it's exactly normal for all teenagers to still be figuring out How Humans/Relationships Work. He knows the general Rules of how to interact with people, and also honestly people respond well to his style of straightforwardly approaching things without being pushy. I am overthinking. I have Many Thoughts. Hirano is an extremely likeable guy who likes to do things that benefit others, most of all Kagiura. Looking after people is the right thing to do! It's good and honorable AND rewarding. ANYWAY.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY, Hirano is used to standing on his own. Not in a bad way, he is obviously supported by his parents, things seem fine there since he mentioned feeling homesick in the light novel and all (which might be part of it, he's in a privileged position where he has the tools to stand on his own without that requiring crazy extra work) (SOON, HOPEFULLY SOON WE LEARN MORE. DAD CONTACT ON PHONE. COLLEGE IS COMING.) This is a slice of life, modern story, it's literally fine, he's fine. Which is why relying on anyone is so awkward for him. He literally is fine, he doesn't need to???

But Kagiura wants it.

And the thing is. The thing is. It is nice to lean on Kagiura.

He doesn't know how to do it. But when Kagiura grabs him, when they hug. Just for a second he can hide behind those big shoulders. He can rest there.

It's weird. He's not used to it. When he can initiate, when he hugs Kagiura from behind, that's easier, like a lot of stuff on this dating journey. A few chapters ago, he bravely let Kagiura hug him from behind, and it took him a few seconds to get comfortable, but he did get used to it. He instinctively protects himself. Unknown = threat, basic human instinct. But! He knows it's not a threat, so he takes a second to tell his nerves to shut up, it's Kagiura... Okay, we're good. He's sooooo. I love him.

And on top of the aroace hangups, HE'S A TEENAGE BOY WITH HIS FIRST LOVE, FIRST BOYFRIEND. HE'S JUST PLAIN SHY!!!!! I want to touch you!! That's so embarassing to admit out loud!!! I want to hug you!!! But he's trying to match Kagiura's loud, loud honest affection!! That's his baseline for How to Do This! That's the System they've established with the ten seconds, asking specifically how and where to touch!

Hug from the front, just had a fight, desperate to show Kagiura that he loves him in a way Kagiura will understand, desperate to show Kagiura he loves him, end of sentence. Hug from the back, oogugughghh he's so in love right now, experiencing his first butterlies and thinking his boyfriend is CUTE, and all that awful mushy stuff. But also also. Hug from the front, Kagiura didn't know it was coming. Is cautious about responding right now--just got slapped for kissing Hirano, and this after touching Hirano's lower back and finding out he doesn't like that. Hug from the back, though!!! This is after more ten second touches and confirming they're dating and HIRANO LOWKEY BEGGING FOR IT. GET ON YOUR KNEES SO I CAN HUG YOU. LITERALLY WHAT THE HELL, MAN.

THIS FACE SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

I'm getting distracted. I'm always distracted. Every panel brings their whole history back around, everything they are going through and figuring out and moving towards.

Important point about the hug from behind: Kagiura is leaning into it. It's not just Hirano hugging Kagiura or Kagiura hugging Hirano. This time, they are Both Prepared For It. Both want it. Hirano is doing what he's comfortable with, so automatically this is going better than Kagiura's hug from behind that Hirano wasn't sure about, on a day where Kagiura was questioning everything. And Kagiura, of course, always wants to hug Hirano, to touch him, and this time!! He knows for sure that Hirano wants this! Wants it so bad that he's physically throwing Kagiura around to get it!!!!!! As Kagiura says, this is their first time hugging as a proper couple!! We shan't get into "to embrace someone" is literally a euphemism for sex the way we'd say "sleep with someone". We simply don't need to. You understand.

Literally insane how erotic this page of Kagiura literally just turning around is like ??????? I thought so and then you saying this is a sex metaphor did explode me 'cause I didn't think that far, but aLSO

anyways in conclusion theyre both switches but it's Important that when they start having sex hirano gets to have the high ground literally or figuratively at least until he gets more comfortable with sex. and kagi is all too happy to oblige since he loves having hirano above him and being dominated lets be honest. wait thats probably what those panels- looking at it again hirano starts to put his arms around him before kagi has even turned around but kagi does as he was told and lets hirano hug him from behind and they have a good time. so good hirano even lets him hug him from the front afterwards. im uh im cooking something wait that panel literally has hirano on his knees taking kagi from the back. the first time they touch as lovers. and then doing it from the front afterwards tl;dr this whole scene as a metaphor for sex ok bye

LITERALLY BEING SO SO SERIOUS WHEN I SAY I WROTE THE EXACT SAME CONCEPTS IN THE TAGS OF ANOTHER POST THE OTHER DAY but then I had a moment of oh my god. I gotta stop being so horny on main, and I deleted them all. They're switches, and they do their first time with Hirano taking Kagiura from behind (maybe researched, I think I've heard that's the easiest position), but then from the front because wanting to see his face (who's face? yes). But also!!! I bet it'll go exactly like this chapter, with Hirano being able to handle it when he's in control, but being far less sure about letting Kagiura take control.

Not! because he doesn't want it!! It's just like all of their touches. Every time, Kagiura begs, Hirano balks, they look for what they both want, let Hirano be in charge, then Kagiura pushes a little more. I don't think he tests things necessary like Sasaki does who said that but he Asks. Takes what he is given, maybe a little more because!! neither he nor Hirano really know where the lines are!! At least Kagiura knows what HE'S comfortable with--which is basically anything and everything--but Hirano doesn't know!! He doesn't know what he himself is okay with! Especially since it's evolving! Hunger theory of desire. He's not starving the way Kagiura is, so when presented with a whole buffet, he doesn't know What looks good until he eats it. And what's unfamiliar and weird on first bite might actually be pretty good.

I can't wait to see them develop. Poor Kagiura. Like the parallel chapters recently, Hirano was relatively cheerful--confused, but excited by his own progress!! Meanwhile, Kagiura was in the mental TRENCHES, so so afraid and confused. That's probably going to keep happening, stressing, looking for where they overlap, Hirano actively getting used to things. I think I am repeating myself just like a lot.

In conclusion, they are in love. Get married and die happy, idiots. This is the sexiest nonsexual manga. Harusono Shou is an evil genius scientist concocting the greatest love story in the world. I shan't survive it, I fear.

[adreamngofdragons]

Adding to this reblog so that together we can create the world's longest collective "read more".

Anyway I also have thoughts, these posts have me cooking so don't mind me jumping on.

Okay, okay, okay, so first I just want to preface this with- I see what you two are saying about the sex metaphor. I see it. I get it. I'm now gonna say some things that might come across as belittling the sex imagery but bear with me I'm talking about the same thing, just with different words. So like: Same cake, different icing.

Okay so, side tangent while I just take a moment to discuss the content of this scene where Hirano slowly wraps his arms around Kagiura before the back hug.

Yes it's slow and maybe erotic (I see that close up on Kagi's collarbones)), but there's something tickling my brain about the fact that this is Hirano's response/reaction to Kagiura killing the 10s rule and reaffirming that they're lovers.

Like, it's very SSMY: "You're my boyfriend, so stop apologising" energy.

He does not speak for the entire sequence after Kagi tells him that. Just pure putting his arms around him. He is so 'no thoughts, head empty' that he doesn't even think anything until Kagiura mentions how happy the hug is making him feel.

And idk, apart from feeling insanely intimate, it also feels... awkward? No that's not the right word... Self conscious! like Hirano is now hyper aware of where his limbs are going, and what his hands are doing. Kagi's expression is either hidden or unreadable and there's a stress bead hanging on his cheek. I think Hirano's insecurities are coming through on every minor step in this sweet and intimate gesture. He's probably holding his breath too. Hirano, breath sweetie.

And then Kagiura goes ahead and says that he likes it. He likes the effort Hirano is putting in. Hirano's never been able to take a compliment from Kagiura. [Link post]

Skipping head then and we have this panel.

I KNOW YOU SAID TO SKIP IT BUT IMMA TALK ABOUT IT ANYWAY.

It's 100% a tease, but I have another reading that is very aroace.

Let me backtrack a bit.

So, one time I was talking to a friend about this series and I remember citing chapter 31 saying that the manga "gave a hug the same weight as a first kiss". And I think that's a phrase I really want to use going forward while describing this manga.

That tease, it cues to me almost like the author is saying "Treat this as a kiss". Treat this hug with the weight and value that you would treat a kiss.

I know that actually kissing and other such things will be a topic later on, but I feel like if this weren't Hirano we were dealing with, this would be a point in your story where you could definitely put a kiss in. I mean, think about it, a couple new in their relationship- exploring boundaries. You could easily put a first/second kiss here.

You can say that these scenes are a metaphor for sex, and you are correct in that. But there's something very aroace in me that wants to rephrase it as "These scenes are given the same weight as sex". Because I think that's what the author is doing: Taking non-necessarily romantic/sexual actions and painting them under a new light. At least to me they feel very much delivered as such.

Also don't think I didn't see this:

<- is far too pilled on holding hands during sex/physically intimate moments. I hope we get more shots like this. I hope if Kagi ever does get to kiss Hirano again, he holds his hand while doing it.

But back to the discussion, before I leave off I want you to consider paralleling it to SSMY for a moment.

If the hug in ch31 is to parallel Sasaki and Miyano's first kiss. This hug parallels the chapter where they had a makeout sesh on the school floor.

And I think there's something beautiful in hitting these same relationship beats but with different actions. That a mere hug can be just as alluring and invoke the same feeling as these kisses. That the reader can get the same sense of fulfillment out of it. It's wonderfully aro/ace-washed and honestly? Something I'd consider for my own writing as well.

I'm sure there'll be a lot more exploration for these two to come, but I'll be revisiting this chapter quite a bit.

[miraglory]

[aranarumei]

here's a ssmyhrkg ship names chart!

SSMYHRKG Relationship Name Chart

hey people. kiri here. I was thinking about differentiating ship names recently and decided to make a full chart and put in all the ones I know. feel free to reference it as you please!

a couple of notes:

these are not "official" ship names by any means, it's just what I personally use, and I thought it could be a helpful reference for others.

for that reason, I'm not actually populating the whole chart, I'm just putting in the names for things I've seen or thought about with some level of depth. I like this system because it doesn't overwhelm my brain, and it gives preference for ships that have like... some actual activity, whereas ones that come later down the line have to deal with my criteria of "don't overlap with other ship names and confuse people".

half this chart is duplicated along the diagonal because this was the only way I could think to arrange the info. I'm not doing any kind of like who tops math.

[aranarumei]

kiri's wip wednesday: "kagihira touch exploration"

can you believe...? that it's actually wednesday for me? and that I've brought this back? um first off. this wip is like over a year old. I have posted bits of it before. I am probably... not going to make this into a full fic. that's why its got such a blunt title. also because I title boring like that.

...right, so I thought I'd post it! for the people. for kagihira, who I love with all my heart. it's about 1.2k so I'm putting it under the cut

.

Hirano has barely turned the lights off and tucked himself in when Kagiura poses him a question: “Do you remember when you climbed into my bed?”

If Kagiura hadn't said far more absurd things, Hirano would suspect he’d succumbed to heat fatigue and was now hallucinating. It is hot—Kagiura’s shucked his blanket down to around his knees, and is sprawled over his bed like he’s willing the cold onto his skin and failing.

Times like these are what the reading light by their beds was made for, Hirano thinks, so he leans over Kagiura, hears a squeak from below him, and flicks on the lights. Sure enough, his face is flushed red, the color disappearing all the way under the collar of his shirt.

“Hirano-san,” Kagiura whines. “You didn’t give me any time to prepare!”

“Prepare for what?” Hirano asks, baffled. “You’re in bed. I’m in bed.” With you, he doesn’t add. “And you kicked the blankets off,” he concludes firmly.

Kagiura makes a wordless noise, and manages to bite out, “Just—um, Hirano-san, it’s the positioning…”

Hirano blinks down at him. He supposes, maybe, that last time he’d done this, Kagiura had said he’d climbed in his bed, not climbed on top of him in his bed. It doesn’t feel like a big deal, only Kagiura’s skin is flushed so bad Hirano wonders if he’s going to start running a fever.

Hirano’s heart doesn’t have the same chaos, but it’s nice to see it reflected on Kagiura’s face, and he looks the perfect part—blanket hooked around a leg, hair sticking in various directions, shirt ruffled and ridden up enough to reveal his abdomen.

And Hirano was right—Kagiura does have nice abs. They’re defined, not in a movie-star bodybuilder way, but… obvious, to anyone who’s looking. He knows that Kagiura came here on a sports scholarship, but it’s not often that he’s so aware of the corded muscle beneath him, a testament to the way Kagiura’s been training his body over the past few years. It’s hard to tell—the reading light doesn’t cast that far—but he’s pretty sure that even there, Kagiura’s turning pink.

“Hirano-san,” Kagiura repeats, shaking him out of your stupor. His hand taps weakly against Hirano’s wrist. “Time out?”

Hirano draws back, tucking himself into the thin free space left on Kagiura’s bed. He’s kind of wedged against Kagiura’s legs, but they’re separated by the thick blanket he has tangled down there.

“What were you thinking about?” Kagiura asks. He’s staring determinedly up at the ceiling.

“Huh?”

“You zoned out, just then,” Kagiura says. He chews nervously on his lips. “But you said not to assume anything about that kind of thing, so… what were you looking at?”

“You, obviously,” Hirano says, and Kagiura has the nerve to look shocked. He doesn’t vocalize it, but Hirano can see the Why? hanging at the edge of his tongue, and he snaps, “Am I not allowed to?”

“What?” Kagiura scrambles up to a sitting position. “You’re—um, definitely allowed, Hirano-san.” He nervously swallows, and makes eye contact with Hirano (good) before casting his gaze down to the shadow of his lap (bad).

“I mean, I—I look all the time, so”—he peeks back up at Hirano again—“it’s fine. Right?”

Hm. “…What were you looking at?” Hirano asks.

Kagiura whips his head back towards him, wide-eyed. Good. He opens his mouth, but words fail to come out of it.

Hirano says, “We’ll never get anywhere if you don’t tell me this kind of stuff, you know.”

“I know,” Kagiura says, though he looks a bit too stunned to have internalized it. “I just—don’t know what you want me to say…?”

It takes a minute, but Hirano finally realizes he’s basically asked Kagiura to aggressively compliment his looks, and feels a telltale heat creeping to his face. Nonetheless he forges on. “Not—I just was curious,” he mumbles, unsure how to phrase it in a way that doesn’t look like he’s begging for attention.

Kagiura tilts his head up at him, anyways, shy and searching, like he’s seeing him for the first time all over again, and the sense of wonderment in his eyes makes Hirano want to save that image of it forever. He understands, before Kagiura can speak, why he looks. What can be so captivating about a person. Especially when that person is as bright as the sun. Deadly. It’s strange to think that he’d been looking at him like this the whole time, long before he’d even made the conscious thought about romance.

“Well, I like your hair.”

Hirano’s eyes twitch. “Didn’t you say it felt super damaged?”

“Yeah, the strands are really fine,” Kagiura acquiesces. “But it doesn’t feel bad. And I liked… seeing it in black and in blond. And I liked that you let me touch it.” He smiles. “I mean, it’s really flashy. I didn’t know what to expect, when I met you.”

“I see,” Hirano grits out.

“I like your ears,” Kagiura says next, because he’s created some kind of monster. “Your piercings, especially. And the way you’re always wearing my gift.”

Hirano flushes. “You insisted,” he protests.

“And you accepted!” Kagiura rebuts. “If you really hated them, wouldn’t you refuse.”

“Haah? How is that possible?” Hirano demands. “Who’d refuse you?”

Kagiura stares at him and then doubles over with suppressed laughter. Hirano watched him, bewildered as he recovers his breath. “You would, if I went too far,” he said. “I mean, I don’t want to do anything you don’t want, too.”

“…Me too,” Hirano replied, wondering why words were so hard. “Okay, so my ears and my hair,” he said. “Is that all?”

Kagiura flushes. “Uh—no, not all,” he says. “I mean, I like… all of you,” he says.

“Right,” Hirano says agreeably. “But where were you looking. Sure wasn’t at my face.”

“Your… waist?” Kagiura says hesitantly. He cringes. “Sorry, I know—”

“Oh, good, me too,” Hirano says, absurdly relieved.

Kagiura makes another one of those endearingly wordless noises.

“I… don’t you dislike being touched there?”

“Yeah,” Hirano says. “You’re the same, right?”

“Yeah,” Hirano says. “But—well, I’ve been looking at your waist too.”

Kagiura is wide awake. “You have?”

“It should be,” Hirano says, only a little irritated by this point. “You’re the one who wouldn’t let me see your abs.”

“Hirano-san!” Kagiura whisper-shrieks, impressively mindful of the late hour. “That—that was different!”

Kagiura screws his eyes shut, but he’s brave and lovely, so he answers well. “I just… think it’d be nice to hold?” he says. Quickly, he adds, “I mean, only if you’re comfortable. But… well… I don’t know,” he says. “I just think it could be nice.” He pauses. “It’s stable.” “And… nobody else would touch you there. So, it’s… just me.”

Hirano mulls it over. He’s placed his hands on his own hips before, he thinks, and so he does so now, placing a hand in each side. There’s some truth to what Kagiura’s said—his hands sink around his waist like there’s a divot made for them. Even with his own hands, the feeling is slightly alien—and Hirano, at the very least, can understand wanting to be the only one.

He reaches up and ruffles Kagiura’s hair, watches his roommate obediently duck his head so that Hirano can properly tug at his hair and press his fingers against his scalp. “Is your waist off-limits?” he asks. 

[burrythebusy]

Dont know if this has been done yet

[sasukeless]

happy pride month and shout out to “there’s nothing wrong with homos, guys”

[aranarumei]

kiri's wip wednesday: "kagihira touch exploration"

can you believe...? that it's actually wednesday for me? and that I've brought this back? um first off. this wip is like over a year old. I have posted bits of it before. I am probably... not going to make this into a full fic. that's why its got such a blunt title. also because I title boring like that.

...right, so I thought I'd post it! for the people. for kagihira, who I love with all my heart. it's about 1.2k so I'm putting it under the cut

.

Hirano has barely turned the lights off and tucked himself in when Kagiura poses him a question: “Do you remember when you climbed into my bed?”

If Kagiura hadn't said far more absurd things, Hirano would suspect he’d succumbed to heat fatigue and was now hallucinating. It is hot—Kagiura’s shucked his blanket down to around his knees, and is sprawled over his bed like he’s willing the cold onto his skin and failing.

Times like these are what the reading light by their beds was made for, Hirano thinks, so he leans over Kagiura, hears a squeak from below him, and flicks on the lights. Sure enough, his face is flushed red, the color disappearing all the way under the collar of his shirt.

“Hirano-san,” Kagiura whines. “You didn’t give me any time to prepare!”

“Prepare for what?” Hirano asks, baffled. “You’re in bed. I’m in bed.” With you, he doesn’t add. “And you kicked the blankets off,” he concludes firmly.

Kagiura makes a wordless noise, and manages to bite out, “Just—um, Hirano-san, it’s the positioning…”

Hirano blinks down at him. He supposes, maybe, that last time he’d done this, Kagiura had said he’d climbed in his bed, not climbed on top of him in his bed. It doesn’t feel like a big deal, only Kagiura’s skin is flushed so bad Hirano wonders if he’s going to start running a fever.

Hirano’s heart doesn’t have the same chaos, but it’s nice to see it reflected on Kagiura’s face, and he looks the perfect part—blanket hooked around a leg, hair sticking in various directions, shirt ruffled and ridden up enough to reveal his abdomen.

And Hirano was right—Kagiura does have nice abs. They’re defined, not in a movie-star bodybuilder way, but… obvious, to anyone who’s looking. He knows that Kagiura came here on a sports scholarship, but it’s not often that he’s so aware of the corded muscle beneath him, a testament to the way Kagiura’s been training his body over the past few years. It’s hard to tell—the reading light doesn’t cast that far—but he’s pretty sure that even there, Kagiura’s turning pink.

“Hirano-san,” Kagiura repeats, shaking him out of your stupor. His hand taps weakly against Hirano’s wrist. “Time out?”

Hirano draws back, tucking himself into the thin free space left on Kagiura’s bed. He’s kind of wedged against Kagiura’s legs, but they’re separated by the thick blanket he has tangled down there.

“What were you thinking about?” Kagiura asks. He’s staring determinedly up at the ceiling.

“Huh?”

“You zoned out, just then,” Kagiura says. He chews nervously on his lips. “But you said not to assume anything about that kind of thing, so… what were you looking at?”

“You, obviously,” Hirano says, and Kagiura has the nerve to look shocked. He doesn’t vocalize it, but Hirano can see the Why? hanging at the edge of his tongue, and he snaps, “Am I not allowed to?”

“What?” Kagiura scrambles up to a sitting position. “You’re—um, definitely allowed, Hirano-san.” He nervously swallows, and makes eye contact with Hirano (good) before casting his gaze down to the shadow of his lap (bad).

“I mean, I—I look all the time, so”—he peeks back up at Hirano again—“it’s fine. Right?”

Hm. “…What were you looking at?” Hirano asks.

Kagiura whips his head back towards him, wide-eyed. Good. He opens his mouth, but words fail to come out of it.

Hirano says, “We’ll never get anywhere if you don’t tell me this kind of stuff, you know.”

“I know,” Kagiura says, though he looks a bit too stunned to have internalized it. “I just—don’t know what you want me to say…?”

It takes a minute, but Hirano finally realizes he’s basically asked Kagiura to aggressively compliment his looks, and feels a telltale heat creeping to his face. Nonetheless he forges on. “Not—I just was curious,” he mumbles, unsure how to phrase it in a way that doesn’t look like he’s begging for attention.

Kagiura tilts his head up at him, anyways, shy and searching, like he’s seeing him for the first time all over again, and the sense of wonderment in his eyes makes Hirano want to save that image of it forever. He understands, before Kagiura can speak, why he looks. What can be so captivating about a person. Especially when that person is as bright as the sun. Deadly. It’s strange to think that he’d been looking at him like this the whole time, long before he’d even made the conscious thought about romance.

“Well, I like your hair.”

Hirano’s eyes twitch. “Didn’t you say it felt super damaged?”

“Yeah, the strands are really fine,” Kagiura acquiesces. “But it doesn’t feel bad. And I liked… seeing it in black and in blond. And I liked that you let me touch it.” He smiles. “I mean, it’s really flashy. I didn’t know what to expect, when I met you.”

“I see,” Hirano grits out.

“I like your ears,” Kagiura says next, because he’s created some kind of monster. “Your piercings, especially. And the way you’re always wearing my gift.”

Hirano flushes. “You insisted,” he protests.

“And you accepted!” Kagiura rebuts. “If you really hated them, wouldn’t you refuse.”

“Haah? How is that possible?” Hirano demands. “Who’d refuse you?”

Kagiura stares at him and then doubles over with suppressed laughter. Hirano watched him, bewildered as he recovers his breath. “You would, if I went too far,” he said. “I mean, I don’t want to do anything you don’t want, too.”

“…Me too,” Hirano replied, wondering why words were so hard. “Okay, so my ears and my hair,” he said. “Is that all?”

Kagiura flushes. “Uh—no, not all,” he says. “I mean, I like… all of you,” he says.

“Right,” Hirano says agreeably. “But where were you looking. Sure wasn’t at my face.”

“Your… waist?” Kagiura says hesitantly. He cringes. “Sorry, I know—”

“Oh, good, me too,” Hirano says, absurdly relieved.

Kagiura makes another one of those endearingly wordless noises.

“I… don’t you dislike being touched there?”

“Yeah,” Hirano says. “But—well, I’ve been looking at your waist too.”

Kagiura is wide awake. “You have?”

“It should be,” Hirano says, only a little irritated by this point. “You’re the one who wouldn’t let me see your abs.”

“Hirano-san!” Kagiura whisper-shrieks, impressively mindful of the late hour. “That—that was different!”

“What do you like about it, anyway?” Hirano asks.

Kagiura screws his eyes shut, but he’s brave and lovely, so he answers well. “I just… think it’d be nice to hold?” he says. Quickly, he adds, “I mean, only if you’re comfortable. But… well… I don’t know,” he says. “I just think it could be nice.” He pauses. “It’s stable.” He peeks an eye open. “And… nobody else would touch you there. So, it’s… just me.”

Hirano mulls it over. He’s placed his hands on his own hips before, he thinks, and so he does so now, placing a hand in each side. There’s some truth to what Kagiura’s said—his hands sink around his waist like there’s a divot made for them. Even with his own hands, the feeling is slightly alien—and Hirano, at the very least, can understand wanting to be the only one.

He reaches up and ruffles Kagiura’s hair, watches his roommate obediently duck his head so that Hirano can properly tug at his hair and press his fingers against his scalp. “Is your waist off-limits?” he asks. 

[aranarumei]

here's a ssmyhrkg ship names chart!

SSMYHRKG Relationship Name Chart

hey people. kiri here. I was thinking about differentiating ship names recently and decided to make a full chart and put in all the ones I know. feel free to reference it as you please!

a couple of notes:

these are not "official" ship names by any means, it's just what I personally use, and I thought it could be a helpful reference for others.

for that reason, I'm not actually populating the whole chart, I'm just putting in the names for things I've seen or thought about with some level of depth. I like this system because it doesn't overwhelm my brain, and it gives preference for ships that have like... some actual activity, whereas ones that come later down the line have to deal with my criteria of "don't overlap with other ship names and confuse people".

half this chart is duplicated along the diagonal because this was the only way I could think to arrange the info. I'm not doing any kind of like who tops math.

[aranarumei]

man. I wanted to like meychan’s cover of melancholic but I just really do not like the arrangement. where is my guitar!!!

[ssmyhrkgbang]

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