[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

anti abortion propaganda that tries to like scare you into feeling guilty by reminding you that the fetus has body parts are so funny. "uwu please don't abort me I have eyes at 4 weeks old 🥺" nice try sucker I don't care if you see it coming

[iheartvelma]

This window cat seat comes with a legend to identify the current occupant.

[redstonedust]

i understand (on paper) why companies are anti-piracy but its funny when random individuals are also strongly anti-piracy. like how does it negatively affect your life if someone you know downloads a cracked torrent of sims 4. you dont work for EA. EA isnt gonna pay you for this. you lose nothing. its fine. chill out.

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[fantasmadebarovia]

there is nothing more important than a dear friend you can be a huge fucking asshole hater with

[fantasmadebarovia]

[dogpuppy]

[mandywondering]

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

[dietspam16]

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already

[slepiesheep]

[rabbits-of-negative-euphoria]

if they're gonna remake The Princess Bride, it should open with a kid sick in bed scrolling on his phone. his grandpa arrives with a gift--it's a DVD player with a disc already inside. grandpa hooks it up to the TV and presses play. and we all just watch the original 1987 film again.

[asmrgaret]

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

[asmrgaret]

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

[bugshroom]

my mind palace is not up to code

[cup-of-milktea]

guys. i really like you. it's nice to be on this dashboard together

[junglejim4322]

I live a very balanced life of noticing things nobody else does and not noticing the things that literally everybody notices

[teaspoon-of-stars]

Theres the lil thang

[succumbing-song]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

[proudpoe]

Howl?? From Howl’s Moving Castle??

[emomemolemoemo]

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]