i r i s

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ stalking last hours theories ♥

[ardeidae]

chain of iron ranting

honestly tbh i’ve kinda just been struggling over this book like . i love it but there are so many things that i cannot get over so...i thought i’d compile them in one post just to get my mind off them

positives

of the many, many character relationships, i found myself caring the most about jordelia (w/ some matthew) and grace w/ everyone (surprisingly). it’s pretty obvious why i care about jordelia—from all the domestic scenes to the almost absurd amount of miscommunication and heartbreak, i want to slap them both in the face and just get them to be happy. ofc, i understand why they aren’t, but i’m mad (and waiting for chain of thorns).

ofc, when we talk about jordelia, we have to mention matthew. i am literally praying that matthew and cordelia aren’t the final couple—which is funny, because pre-chain-of-iron i was rooting for fairstairs. but i’ve backed up on that decision. we saw real, genuine james in this book, and all the scenes with him and cordelia convinced me that jordelia (hopefully) is what we’ll get in the end. and besides, cordelia’s sorta said that she can’t love matthew in the way he wants her too, and i’m half-convinced matthew doesn’t actually love her in that way either—half-convinced, though. chain of thorns chould change my mind, i’m open to suggestions.

grace is slightly different. we got a look into just who she is, and i find myself...not liking, but understanding her better. the moments when she stops herself from using her power on christopher is one of my favorites (i’m still mad she pulled a one-eighty at the end though and pretend like it was nothing)

i love alastair in this book (...though i found myself not caring about him with thomas, which i found curious). we see more of the mature side of him, and he’s really one of the only characters who isn’t flat-out lying in this book, which is refreshing. i found his attitude towards his father interesting, and his little thing about the child not having a father was heartbreaking. loved him here.

negatives

now that i’ve got the stuff i liked out of the way...the negatives. i found myself—surprisingly—not too fond of jesse and lucie in this book. i understand lucie’s motivations—she both “loves” jesse and owes jesse for james’ life, even if jesse won’t hold her to that. but man, i don’t understand all the secrets. when lucie stood in front of cordelia, who was trying her damn hardest to not run a sword through lucie, all she could think about was jesse. jesse’s dead, and while she might have the power to save him, that isn’t a healthy relationship. they’re cute—i’ll give them that—but chain of gold didn’t give us a glimpse into how far she’s willing to go for jesse, and i don’t like this new development. she’s putting jesse over everyone—over cordelia, over her entire family. and i’m not happy about it. imo this is a fantasy—lucie getting to be the main hero of her story, only it’s not a story that can have a happy ending. at least, in my opinion.

speaking of that, i thought there were several things that were forced in this. it might be because i hate that cordelia ran off with matthew (though i understand why she did it), but i think the whole “james lucie will only listen to you” argument is stupid. we’ve never seen a case of this before—of lucie listening to james over her parents—and i feel like it was a plot device used only to make sure james didn’t run after cordelia and matthew.

i also found the whole “win a game, get a question” thing a bit peculiar. it’s rarely used as more than an exposition device, and we see it used once so that cordelia can find out why the merry thieves hate her brother (to my memory). i think i would have liked it better if we’d gotten more moments with this—after all, they play chess or some other game every night, and we could have gotten so many moments (i’m still mad that we never got the end of the scene where cordelia is like “if you wanna know who i had a crush on you gotta beat me at chess” like i want to see competitive james).

the...meh

there was stuff i wasn’t too excited about here either. the plot was decent—i didn’t expect the lilith twist—but something about the pacing felt old. too slow in some places, and too fast in others. also there’s more than one plot line here, and while the murder one was cool, the resurrection one felt a bit...messy. it kind of splits into two—what lucie’s doing, and what grace is doing, and lucie’s gets a lot more of the spotlight. not really a decision i liked—i find grace’s motivations and how far she’s willing to go more interesting, and i’ve already discussed why i didn’t really like lucie in this book.

i found anna and ariadne boring too. i’m not a person who cares about...steamy scenes that much, and steamy pretty much defines most of their relationship throughout the book. i would have liked it better if we spent more time on it, but this books juggles a lot—and i mean, a lot—of relationships, and it felt underdeveloped.

i also had some qualms about the dialogue. maybe it’s just me, but sometimes it took awkward jumps to reach certain conclusions (like there was a checklist for certain dialogues) and it didn’t feel natural. but that’s just me being picky.

...oh and i’m on the edge about alastair and thomas. the fact they spent their time together making out isn’t something i liked. i would rather have them talk, because that’s kind of what their relationship needs. i completely understand why alastair turned him down at the end, and while i pity thomas, i can’t say i disagree.

i also can’t understand why magnus and james spent so long in the spiral labyrinth. i read the short story at the end, and it kinda felt like a reason to just not have two trustable, actually sane adults to help. maybe i missed something (i was running on very little sleep by this point) but i didn’t get it.

...well that was me ranting. i don’t expect anyone to care, but i like writing things down. anyway (if anyone has finished this to the end, in which case, i’m thankful) have a wonderful day :)))

[even-love-unreturned]

Meanings behind Chain of Iron chapter titles (part II, Ch16-29)

16. Dark Breaks to Dawn

Likely from another Dante Gabriel Rossetti poem, “Found”, a companion to his painting of the same name. It was published in 1881 in his volume Ballads and Sonnets.

“There is a budding morrow in midnight:”— So sang our Keats, our English nightingale. And here, as lamps across the bridge turn pale In London’s smokeless resurrection-light, Dark breaks to dawn. But o'er the deadly blight Of Love deflowered and sorrow of none avail, Which makes this man gasp and this woman quail, Can day from darkness ever again take flight?

17. Prophet of Evil

In “The Raven”, Edgar Allen Poe calls the raven a “Prophet” and a “thing of evil”.

In the Iliad, Cachas the seer/prophet is called a “Prophet/seer of evil”:

To Calchas first of all he spoke, and his look threatened evil: “Prophet of evil, never yet have you spoken to me a pleasant thing; ever is evil dear to your heart to prophesy, but a word of good you have never yet spoken, nor brought to pass. […]”

I’m not sure either of these two are the reference used here though.

18. Goblin Market

This title is clearly from the poem “Goblin Market” written by Christina Rossetti in 1859, a tale of two sisters tempted by magical and dangerous fruit sold by goblins. According to some analyses, the poem might read as an allegory of addiction and recovery. (This poem has also been quoted in chapter 6 of CA)

19. Thine Own Palace

From one of John Donne’s verse letters to Sir Henry Wotton beginning “Sir, more than kisses, letters mingle souls”:

“Be then thine own home, and in thyself dwell; Inn anywhere; continuance maketh hell. And seeing the snail which everywhere doth roam, Carrying his own house still, still is at home, Follow (for he is easy paced) this snail, Be thine own palace, or the world’s thy jail.”

20. Equal Temper

Likely from the poem “Ulysses” written by Alfred, Lord Tennyson in 1833.

Though much is taken, much abides; and though We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are, One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

21. Hell’s Own Track

From another Christina Rossetti poem, “Amor Mundi”, published in 1865.

“Turn again, O my sweetest,—turn again, false and fleetest:  This beaten way thou beatest I fear is hell’s own track.” “Nay, too steep for hill-mounting; nay, too late for cost-counting:  This downhill path is easy, but there’s no turning back.”

22. Heart of Iron

Perhaps from “The Belfry of Bruges” (1866) by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

At my feet the city slumbered.  From its chimneys, here and there, Wreaths of snow-white smoke, ascending, vanished, ghost-like, into air.

Not a sound rose from the city at that early morning hour, But I heard a heart of iron beating in the ancient tower.

23. Silken Thread

Possibly from the poem attributed under its first line “O Lady, leave thy silken thread” by Thomas Hood.

O lady, leave thy silken thread And flowery tapestrie: There’s living roses on the bush, And blossoms on the tree; Stoop where thou wilt, thy careless hand Some random bud will meet; Thou canst not tread, but thou wilt find The daisy at thy feet.

24. He Shall Rise

This is either a biblical passage, or from Alfred Lord Tennyson’s “The Kraken”, first published in 1830.

There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.

25. Archangel Ruined

Finally we have Cassie’s obligatory Paradise Lost reference in every book!

[…] He, above the rest In shape and gesture proudly eminent,⁠ Stood like a tower; his form had yet not lost All her original brightness, nor appeared Less than Archangel ruined, and the excess Of glory obscured. […]

- Paradise Lost, Book I (1674), John Milton

26. Older Than Gods

27. Wake With Wings

From “The Garden of Proserpine” (1866) by Algernon Charles Swinburne.

Though one were strong as seven, He too with death shall dwell, Nor wake with wings in heaven, Nor weep for pains in hell; Though one were fair as roses, His beauty clouds and closes; And well though love reposes, In the end it is not well.

28. No Wise Man

Possibly from the famous quote, written by Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) in essay: “No wise man ever wished to be younger.”

29. A Broken Mirror

Possibly from poem XXXIII in the long narrative poem “Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage” by Lord Byron, published between 1812-1818. The wikipedia description has it as: “it describes the travels and reflections of a world-weary young man, who is disillusioned with a life of pleasure and revelry and looks for distraction in foreign lands.”

Even as a broken mirror, which the glass In every fragment multiplies; and makes A thousand images of one that was, The same, and still the more, the more it breaks; And thus the heart will do which not forsakes, Living in shatter’d guise, and still, and cold, And bloodless, with its sleepless sorrow aches, Yet withers on till all without is old, Showing no visible sign, for such things are untold.

Part 1 (chapters 1-15) here.

[ardeidae]

chapter 18 matthew alcoholism reveal?? i dunno

[even-love-unreturned]

Meanings behind Chain of Iron chapter titles (part I, Ch1-15)

1. The Bright Web

From Dante Gabriel Rossetti’s sonnet “Body’s Beauty” (1866), alternatively titled “Lilith”, written to accompany his painting Lady Lilith.

Of Adam’s first wife, Lilith, it is told (The witch he loved before the gift of Eve,) That, ere the snake’s, her sweet tongue could deceive, And her enchanted hair was the first gold. And still she sits, young while the earth is old, And, subtly of herself contemplative, Draws men to watch the bright web she can weave, Till heart and body and life are in its hold.

2. All That Turns

3. Bitter and Sweet

4. A Good Name

From “This Marriage” by Rumi, date unknown.

May these vows and this marriage be blessed. May it be sweet milk, this marriage, like wine and halvah. May this marriage offer fruit and shade like the date palm. May this marriage be full of laughter, our every day a day in paradise. May this marriage be a sign of compassion, a seal of happiness here and hereafter. May this marriage have a fair face and a good name, an omen as welcome as the moon in a clear blue sky. I am out of words to describe how spirit mingles in this marriage.

5. The King is Dead

“The King is dead, long live the King“ is a well-known traditional saying, and is the first thing that comes to mind, though I’m not convinced that this is the particular source for this title.

6. Things To Come

There are way too many possibilities for this one to narrow it down. I’ll put two of them here:

One the poem “The Flesh and the Spirit“ by Anne Bradstreet, published in 1650. An excerpt:

In secret place where once I stood Close by the Banks of Lacrim flood, I heard two sisters reason on Things that are past and things to come. One Flesh was call’d, who had her eye On worldly wealth and vanity; The other Spirit, who did rear Her thoughts unto a higher sphere.

And the other is “Frost at Midnight” by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, written in 1798. An excerpt:

So sweetly, that they stirred and haunted me With a wild pleasure, falling on mine ear Most like articulate sounds of things to come! So gazed I, till the soothing things, I dreamt, Lulled me to sleep, and sleep prolonged my dreams!

7. Tread Lightly

Most likely “Requiescat” by Oscar Wilde, written in the 1880s. In the poem, the speaker speaks of and to an unnamed woman, who is buried and cannot hear.

Tread lightly, she is near Under the snow, Speak gently, she can hear The daisies grow.

All her bright golden hair Tarnished with rust, She that was young and fair Fallen to dust.

8. To Bring a Fire

9. The Scars Remaining

Most likely from “Christabel”, an unfinished narrative ballad written by Samuel Taylor Coleridge from 1797-1800. The ballad focuses on a young lady named Christabel and her encounter with a strikingly beautiful stranger called Geraldine, who claims to have been kidnapped from her home. Christabel takes Geraldine in to share her bed, and they spend the night together. The story also involves Geraldine putting a spell on Christabel that leaves her unable to tell anyone about what they do or what Geraldine’s “true form“ is.

Brings to mind a certain other strikingly beautiful character in TLH who also does spells to a similar effect, doesn’t it?

This excerpt that includes the phrase “the scars remaining”, however, is about Christabel’s father and his long-lost friend with whom he had a falling-out, but who also turns out to be Geraldine’s father.

They parted—ne'er to meet again! But never either found another To free the hollow heart from paining— They stood aloof, the scars remaining, Like cliffs which had been rent asunder; A dreary sea now flows between;— But neither heat, nor frost, nor thunder, Shall wholly do away, I ween, The marks of that which once hath been.

10. The Damned Earth

Likely from Edgar Allen Poe’s poem, “Lenore”, published in 1843.

Avaunt! to-night my heart is light. No dirge will I upraise, “But waft the angel on her flight with a Pæan of old days! “Let no bell toll! — lest her sweet soul, amid its hallowed mirth, “Should catch the note, as it doth float up from the damned Earth. “To friends above, from fiends below, the indignant ghost is riven — “From Hell unto a high estate far up within the Heaven — “From grief and groan, to a golden throne, beside the King of Heaven.

11. Crowns and Pounds and Guineas

From an untitled poem (but often identified by its first line) by A. E. Housman, included in his poetry book A Shropshire Lad, published in 1896. According to Wikipedia, this collection sold “slowly at first, it then rapidly grew in popularity, particularly among young readers. Composers began setting the poems to music less than ten years after their first appearance.”

When I was one-and-twenty I heard a wise man say, “Give crowns and pounds and guineas But not your heart away; Give pearls away and rubies But keep your fancy free.” But I was one-and-twenty, No use to talk to me.

12. Requiem

A requiem is a mass for the repose of the souls of the dead, or a piece of musical composition in honor of the dead. It’d be impossible to narrow this down to a specific quote, though.

13. The Wintry Wind

Likely from “The Withering of the Boughs“ by W. B. Yeats, published as part of his poetry volume In The Seven Woods (1903). Each of the three stanzas of the poem ends with the following two lines:

“No boughs have withered because of the wintry wind, The boughs have withered because I have told them my dreams.”

14. The Flaming Forge

From “The Village Blacksmith“ (1840) by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The poem makes use of the image of “the flaming forge“ twice.

And children coming home from school Look in at the open door; They love to see the flaming forge, And hear the bellows roar, And catch the burning sparks that fly Like chaff from a threshing-floor.

[…]

Thanks, thanks to thee, my worthy friend, For the lesson thou hast taught! Thus at the flaming forge of life Our fortunes must be wrought; Thus on its sounding anvil shaped Each burning deed and thought.

15. Walk by Daytime

From poem V in “A Dark Month” by Algernon Charles Swinburne, written in May 1881.

Dreams that strive to seem awake, Ghosts that walk by daytime, Weary winds the way they take, Since, for one child’s absent sake, May knows well, whate'er things make Sport, it is not Maytime.

Part 2 (chapters 16-29) here.

[ardeidae]

hmmm chapter four is the marriage?? it fits with the timeline since chapter one and two are the night before

[ardeidae]

january newsletter : coi stuff

so basically im just going over stuff i found interesting in the newsletter so yeah

first of all, CHAPTER TITLES! i was considering figuring out the poem that belonged to each of the titles, but that was a lot of work (still might do it though), but the ones that stand out are...

- the flaming forge (the first two chapters’ excerpt brings about the idea of wayland the smith being alive so that’s interesting)

- archangel ruined (prince(s) of hell???)

- older than gods (i find this curious because very little is referred to older than gods, and it usually refers to like primordial beings but we haven’t really had those in the shadowhunter universe so...)

- a broken mirror (i’ve always had a secret theory that james get’s trapped in the hell dimension in the second book, and “a broken mirror” makes it sound plausible, but i could be very wrong)

and onto the actual snippet + drawing :)

there’s this bright red string tied to james’ hand, so i think he’s being kept there? the description of the book implies that james thinks that he’s the killer, and my thought was, what if he’s been leaving his room every night, and he thinks he’s the one doing the killing?? and that’s why he’s tied?? to try to keep him there?? and it’s why he’s thrashing, because he wants to leave, but can’t?? (also i think cordelia’s in on his theory)

also cordelia being in the room with him probably signifies that they’re already married, so it’s nice to know that it definitely happens (one of my thoughts about elias’ shocking request was that james put off the wedding but clearly not)

also also he’s been drinking this thing (the bottle’s sitting on the nightstand) so they’ve probably gone to someone for advice, and they’ve made james drink that or something idk

but anyway idk how im gonna wait for march hHhhhHHhh i just really want this book to come out and then i can pull an all-nighter reading it :)

[cassandraclare]

Hey Sry to bother u cassie...but cld u give us three emojis regaridng Jordelia's relationship in the book!! Thanks stay safe and the excerpt was superb🙂🙂

🤫🥰😡

[ardeidae]

so, it ends poorly

[whitepeopletwitter]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Mr. Suttles’ GoFundMe

Let’s help Brandon Suttles !, organized by Katy Greene

     This go fund me is set up for my good friend Brandon Suttles. Brandon and his wonderfu… Katy Greene needs your support for Let’s help

[cassandraclare]

Chain of Iron snippet

“You should have told us,” said Thomas. “We would have helped you move your things. I’m exceptionally good at carrying large objects.”

“And think of all those hairbrushes you would have had to relocate,” Lucie said. “Haven’t you got six or seven?”

Matthew glowered at her affectionately. “I try to be at least as stylish as our local ghosts.”

[ardeidae]

all of y’all thinking that matthew’s talking about jesse when he’s talking about jessamine

[cassandraclare]

Hi Cassie. I was wondering; what do Alistair and Cordelia think about Sonia being pregnant and them subsequently getting another sibling?

They’re pretty happy/excited about the baby. They’re worried about their mother’s health, and worried about Elias’ relationship to the baby — as in, whether he’s actually pleased or not.

[ardeidae]

hm maybe the shocking request has to do with the baby

honestly i’ve got no idea and i’ve been thinking about it for so long aND MY HEAD HURTS

[cassandraclare]

Hi! I have a couple questions: 1.) about the Wicked Powers. What characters will have a POV in the series? And 2.) will the merry thieves find out about Lucie seeing Jesse in Coi? Thank you

Hey friend! I think I’ve talked a bit before about POV, in that I decided not to answer questions about who has a POV in what upcoming book. I need it to be something I can change as I work, and I worry that setting it in stone before I’ve started a project will curtail my ability to be flexible as I work, as the book demands.

Definitely some people find out about Lucie seeing Jesse. Can’t say who!

[ardeidae]

well,,,that would only be possible if people knew about jesse, and there aren’t many of those

[cassandraclare]

Can we expect more deaths in CHOI, especially with a killer on the loose? What’s the death count? Is someone we already know by name, going to die?

I can’t say who dies, but the killer does away with at least five Shadowhunters. Dratted serial killers!

[ardeidae]

...so this is for the purpose of raising jesse from the dead, because tatiana tried to get magnus to do just this. huh.

[harriyanna-deactivated20221223]

thomas jefferson and sally hemings did not have a forbidden romance as many historians like to say. sallywas thomas’s child sex slave and it’s time that people know the truth about our founding fathers. 

[bookfast-at-tiffanys]

TSC Groupchat/Angst Wars Social Media Au

Part 2

Hi everyone! I was planning to post this a while ago but with the current issue going on I didn’t think it would be right to do so. But… here it is! Angst Wars: Part 2. (It took many… different directions but here we are). A little side note - the person in blue is Lucie. Just to clear the confusion. I hope you all enjoy it! If you want to read Part 1 it is here! Love you all so much! ❤️

Tagging: @christopherlightwood​ @high-warlock-of-brooklyn​ @marlsmckinnon47​ @stormhondseid​ @living-in-the-never​ @matthewfaichild​ @silent-nerd​ @magnuslightwood-bane​ @lucieblckthorn​ @oscar-fairchild​ @tofeelawake​ @fair-but-wilde-child​ @bookish-bacillaria​ @katnissgrangermorgernstern​ @truth-lies-hidden​ @hazel-grace-levesque​ @enigmasandephipanies​ @jesse-blaxkthorn​ @cortqnq​ @fairchild-squad​ @tiberiussblackthrn​ @ghostqueenlucie​ @cecilyfightwood​  @matthewainwright​ - sorry if I forgot anyone! Again, if you’d like to be added to the tag list just let me know! ❤️

[ardeidae]

TSC except it's incorrect quotes and it's part 2 and it's really fucking long sorry.

Cordelia: I like your top.

James, wearing a very bright shirt: Thank-

Matthew: Thanks dude, I like you to.

_

Anna: Gender is a game and I have the cheat codes.

_

Clary, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti caramel macchiato with, uh... seven shots of espresso.

Simon, behind her: Jesus Christ, Clary, just do cocaine.

_

James: If you were to die, what would be your last words?

Matthew: Finally.

James: No-

_

Izzy, on the phone with Magnus: Is it okay if I bring my weird roommate?

Simon: Would you please stop calling me that.

_

Clary: You sure you're sober enough to drive?

Jace: Yeah, I didn't drink anything.

Clary: Okay, go get the car.

Alec: [running after Jace]

Clary: It's okay, he's sober!

Alec: HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE!

_

Will: Jem, you have beautiful eyes.

Jem: You too.

Tessa: ...

Tessa: Did I miss something?

Will: I'm straight, I just like his eyes.

Tessa: You're gay for his eyes.

Will: Exactly!

Will: Wait, no

_

Lucie, walking out in a new outfit: How do I look?

Matthew: Holy shit, that's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

Lucie: Excuse you?!

Matthew: No, not you, the thing sitting beside you.

Alastair: Fuck you.

_

Magnus: You sure know a lot about the law.

Julian: I do a lot of borderline illegal shit.

_

Cordelia: Lucie! Don't let go!

Lucie, dangling from the side of the cliff: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I LET GO?!

_

Kit: I think I forgot to sleep because I was looking at memes.

Dru: If you ever wonder why you have no friends, just remember that sentence.

_

Christopher: Oh, tiddlywinks.

Matthew: JUST SAY FUCK

_

Will: Swear words are banned in this house, if you say one you'll be grounded.

Matthew: Heck.

Will: You're on thin fucking ice, kid.

_

Jace: You may not know this, Alec, but I'm a flawed person.

Alec: I do know that.

_

Dru: [reading the exorcist]

Dru: [laughs]

_

Matthew: I know you can be "underwhelmed" and you can be "overwhelmed" but...

Matthew: Can you ever just be whelmed?

James: ...

Christopher: I think you can in Bulgaria!

_

James: I think I'm in love with Cordelia.

Grace: Congratulations! You're officially the last one to know.

_

Tessa: James, what are you doing here? Weren't you making spaghetti tacos with Mattew, Christopher, and Thomas?

James: Well, I was.

Tessa: ... was?

James: Well, I- it was just getting hot downstairs because of the fire.

Tessa: THE WHAT?!

(Downstairs the kitchen is completely on fire)

Christoper, looking around while Matthew and Thomas try to put the fire out with olive oil: Oh, this isn't good.

_

Jace: Please shut up.

Simon: Well, since you asked nicely, no.

_

Will: No pain, no gain!

Matthew: But I'm in constant pain and I've lost everything-

_

Matthew: If you'll excuse me, I must attend to my evening affairs.

James: You mean drinking wine and eating gummy bears until you pass out on a chaise?

Cordelia: Or reading Layla and Majnun and crying in the bath because they didn't deserve it?

Lucie: Or shouting your own poetry from your balcony?

Matthew: All three, in that order.

_

Will: What have I told you about comparing Tatiana to the devil?

Lucie: ... that it's offensive to the devil?

_

Jamie: These people are my friends!

Jamie: I've known them for twelve hours!

_

Clary: What are we gonna do?

Simon: Don't worry, you're so small they probably won't see you.

Clary: Simon, is this really the time to be making short jokes?

Simon: Clary, it's never not the time, because just like you, life is short.

_

Matthew, drunk: Always strive to eat the stars.

Lucie, half asleep: Aren't they too hot?

Matthew: Blow on them first, idiot.

_

Cashier: Would you like your check?

Ty: If someone is being murdered right now it would be my alibi, but if someone gets murdered in the store they could pin it on me.

Cashier: Sir?

Ty: I want to speak to a lawyer.

_

Magnus: If you had to choose between Jace and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you choose.

Alec: Depends. How much money are we talking about?

Jace: Alec????

Magnus: Eleven cents.

Alec: Sold.

Jace: ALEC?!!??!?!

_

Alastair: Cursing is for those who have a limited vocabulary.

Matthew: You are an audacious, ideologically unsound, captious, presumptuous, motherfucker.

_

Clary: Hey, uh, maybe we need Simon's help with this one?

Jace: I would literally rather die.

_

Cristina: Name a way to be nice to people.

Kieran: Don't stab them.

Cristina: ...

Cristina: Setting the bar a little low but I'll allow it.

_

Tessa: Where have you been?

Will: Emotional hell.

_

Kit: I made you all of you into Sims, look.

Jace: Where are you?

Kit: I'm in the grave in the backyard.

Jace:

Clary:

Jace: Put me there to.

Clary: Oh my god-

_

Emma: I have the sharpest memory, name one time I forgot something.

Zara: You forgot me in a Walmart parking lot, like, three weeks ago.

Emma: I did that on purpose, try again.

_

Matthew: Will, did you know "thot" means "thoughtful person."

Will: Really? I did not know this modern slang.

(later)

Will: Thank you for helping me with the stables, Tessa, you're such a thot.

Tessa, wheezing: I'm a WHAT?

_

Julian: [choking]

Kit: I'm trying to call 911 but the 9 button isn't working!

Dru: Just flip your phone upside down and use the 6.

Julian, stopping his choking for a second: What the fu-

_

Emma, getting in the front seat: Alright, is everyone ready to go?

The Blackthorns: Yep!

Emma: Okay, let's go.

(looks into the mirror to see Zara running after the van)

Emma: [whispers to herself] Goodbye you little shit.

_

Cordelia: What the hell is going on??

Matthew: Oh, great, you heard my cry for help.

Cordelia: You mean your girly scream?

Matthew: I MEAN MY CRY FOR HELP

_

James: The risk I took was calculated.

James: But holy shit am I bad at math.

_

Izzy and Magnus: [getting arrested at a protest]

Cop: Fake ID's, fake credit card. Got anything on you that's real?

Izzy: My tits.

Magnus: My ass.

_

[in a group chat]

Dru: Adding "lmao" does not hide your pain.

Kit: Yeah it does lmao.

_

Matthew: Excuse me, who made James the boss of the group.

Christopher: You did.

Thomas: You said, "James should be the boss".

Lucie: And then you said, "lets vote," and it was unanimous.

Cordelia: And then you made him a plaque that says, "Boss Of Us".

Anna: And put little sparkles all over it.

Matthew: ... All valid points.

_

Matthew: And once again, James and Matthew save the day.

Lucie: You didn't do anything.

Thomas: It was all James.

Matthew: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.

_

Jem: I am not "too nice"!

Will: Jem, you apologized-

Jem: I have manners!

Will: -to the waiter who spilled soup on your lap.

_

Kit: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Kit: [punches a wall]

Kit: Take me to the hospital.

_

Julian: People ask me how I handle the rest of my family so easily.

Julian: The truth is, I don't.

Julian: I have no control over them.

Julian: I walked into the house today and Mark shot me in the neck with a nerf gun.

_

(At a New Years Eve party)

Alec, to the TMI gang: I would like to make a toast!

Alec, raising his glass: I cannot believe we have gone through another twelve months of absolute fuckery.

Alec: Cheers!

[ardeidae]

Emma: Rules are made to be broken.

Julian: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Mark: Piñatas.

Cristina: Glow sticks.

Julian: Parabatai bonds.

*everyone stares at him in silence*

Julian: What? It's true. I just changed my mind. There are a few things that are made to be broken.

[ardeidae]

jordelia theory

okay so in great expectations biddy teaches pip to read/write, and in the parallel of the last hours cordelia is thought to represent biddy and james represents pip. so basically what if cordelia teaches james to read/write/speak persian? it would be so cute to watch omg

[ardeidae]

ariadne and grace?

idk i just spent an hour thinking about chain of gold while practicing piano

okay so like think about it. if ariadne could hear anna while she was in her coma-thing, who says she didn’t hear other stuff? like, what if grace said something a little suspicious to tatiana believing that no one else could hear her, and ariadne wants to keep an eye on grace as well? i mean, i know her and anna do investigating stuff in chain of iron, so maybe?...

idk this could be very wrong but like i had to write it down

[ardeidae]

alastair knows

i’ve been thinking about chain of gold too much lmao

but honestly, i think alastair knows that cordelia and james are not getting married for love. he’s observant enough to notice that james is being odd around grace again. he knows his sister well enough—i mean, if anna, who’s known cordelia for like a month, can know that she won’t spend a night alone with a guy, surely alastair knows? and we’ve seen him know things he probably shouldn’t know—like how cordelia was at the greenhouse. i think he’ll have worked it out. besides, he knows that’s she’s a very loyal person and that she cares about james a lot.

lmao imagine.

cordelia: “alastair, i’ve got something to say about my marriage with james.”

alastair: “what, that it was a sham? i know.”

cordelia: