that's because you're not a telescope

Arden | 25+ | she/her | Pākehā | #1 MorroZoomer

[pebster-deactivated20210816]

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[noodles-07]

on friends and soulmates and that type of love that feels like it's going to burst right out of your heart

now featuring image IDs

@/zmije / @/leptodiera / @/bichopalo / lyrics from two best friends by bb bean / animatedjames on youtube / @/killingmyselfbutnotdying / unknown / @/sadiekane / friedrich neitzsche / katfish draws / @/elytrians / @/wormbus-art aka @/angel-pond / @/mushysuggestion / the unsent project / mhairi mcfarlane / unknown

[blackpyrefly]

william the conqueror: i shall take england for normandy and become its king

william the concurrer: i agree

[karvina]

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

[uesp]

Hey it's Snowy Granius, here to make sure you have any understanding of how to play the game.

[riverlinden]

"kung pow penis," a phrase commonly used in reblogs to indicate utter disdain for OP, has twelve letters, each of which (traditionally) must be supplied by a different user. the unanimity of disdain indicated by these twelve unrelated users has strong parallels to the requirement of unanimity for a jury—also traditionally of twelve—to arrive at a verdict. in this essay i will

[quendergeer]

"I'm not posting S and you can't make me!"

[lola-legendary]

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[hardyparti-deactivated20250411]

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[osvaldvvanstein]

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[tiredmisophonicwerewolf]

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[ecto-stone]

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[a-selkie-abroad]

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[kotdish]

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[aviandaleks]

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[dragonwysper]

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[ultimatenutshackfangirl]

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[ohhmichelettoohh]

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[beetle-goth]

[throwupgirl-deactivated20240906]

[asphaltgashes]

(spoilers for pillars of eternity 2, highly recommend playing it, but if not, i hope this can maybe convince someone to) theres this moment in pillars of eternity 2 that i really think about alot as probably my favorite moment of the entire series, where upon meeting eothas; the god who has inhabited a stone colossus and set off for an unknown goal killing thousands in his wake, absorbing souls to power himself, you learn his plans and then eventually come into contact with the other part of your soul he absorbed earlier on when the game started. in this brief interaction, you can convince the other part of your soul to rejoin with you, convince it that you are the same person you always were and havent been changed or compromised since the journey began, and it feels like such a fuckin significant moment because up to this point in the story of the game, catching up to eothas and learning about and potentially stopping his plan has been the expectation, its only mere moments ago that you really are shown for sure that this god cannot be stopped, he cannot be persuaded otherwise, and no matter what you do, the worst case scenario will occur. deadfire changes entirely from a game about hunting down a rogue god and learning about the archipelago along the way, to a game about doing what you can in spite of the inevitable catastrophe, all your actions up to this point recontextualized as not just quests you stumbled into with complicated choices to make, but genuinely important moves that shift the power dynamics of the archipelago setting up the region and rhe world overall for handlinf what comes next, your decisions become even more crucial and important, so your moral compass and how you navigate it all becomes what deadfire is about. all of this in mind, having that sequence where your own soul is now asking you "have you changed?" feels like such a fucking huge moment to have before going into the final section of the game, i love it so fucking much

[joshbii]

While researching for my Pillars of Eternity TTRPG, I discovered the existence of pages on a Korean-language wiki about this franchise, and they have all been (I presume) poorly machine translated into English. Let me take you on a quick adventure through the absolute joys of poorly translated Eora. I will provide screenshots where comically relevant, but rest assured that I will not misquote the website.

I've been laughing for nearly an hour now after reading this with @adozentothedawn.

Where best to begin than with the various gods of Eora - also known as the 'Shin', of course.

While many of these are familiar to me, I was somewhat surprised by the addition of Woody Car, though I can see why the team behind such games as Pilars of Eternity, Pillars 2: Deadburning, and About (also called Irbawood) would choose to add her in.

I appreciate the gods being pointed out in the art, or I might get Skaen and Woody Car confused. It is here on Woody Car's page that we learn about the Lead Key Society, led by Taos who we meet early in the game at the ruins of Sealent Rease.

Anyway, onto our protagonists.

There's a lot to discuss here. I love Sad Mother, for one. I enjoy that Kalisha has been written how you pronounce it. But why, oh why, has my good friend Aloth been replaced by multiple allos?

Oh alright then. That explains it all. The sequel also has fascinating characters - sorry, I mean Colleagues.

Now I've never used Murky because her voice annoys me but I presume that's just what she's called. It would appear that Ydwin has been force-masced into becoming a Victorian boy named Edwin.

Exploring Fascina's page, I came across the powerful magical society known as the Guild of Archmages... though, if you ask them, they have all sorts of names.

Speaking of Leng Grass, it is important to note that she doesn't exist.

Additionally, she's helped Tae-in out of some legal trouble

With all of that said, it's time for the most important revelation about the entire franchise, and that is the war that kickstarts the plot hooks behind the first game! This is, of course, the War of the Saints, featuring our favourite divine avatar:

It's your boy, Wide Wen. He worshipped Eotas but was killed by the Godhaem-mer Bomb :(

Wide Wen's Legacy becomes a known thing, with Hollow-Bone children being born all over the place. Because of this, the people employ spirit magicians to perform heart marriage on the children.

Oh...

Anyway! This is all important because it leads to the most important moment in Eoran history: the writing of a very important book entitled Very Nice Farmer. The wiki describes it as such:

That 'BL' does indeed lead to the wiki page for boy-love. Anyway, the contents of the story suggest that Wide Wen was in fact genderfluid:

And that is the end of my dive into this wiki today. Here is the wiki, if you want to have a look around yourself. May Woody Car protect you if you delve too deep!

[wifehaver103947]

imagine cloth mother and wire mother in family court competing for custody of the baby monkey

[clothmotherofficial]

I Have Softness For You

[officialwiremother]

i have milk for you

[babymonkeyofficial]

Stop.

[kingsolomonofficial]

Cut the baby monkey in half

[lichcoil]

so there's a natural order to this world and we need atleast four million mans in boots with armor, vehicles, and firearms to enforce it, otherwise something unnatural might happen

[curseworm]

the secret cheat code for women is realizing you dont have to date men

[curseworm]

this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me “i wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date men” but guess what … u Dont have to date men 

[curseworm]

to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying ‘go date women instead!!’ its just saying…. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy… u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men

[curseworm]

im singlehandedly destroying every mans mental health by telling women its ok to not date them

[magicalastronomies]

[turtlesandfrogs]

So I was scrolling and saw this image in an article about the European heat wave,

And was like, uh, are you missing something there, buddy? Like all that red in northern Africa? Because that's a lot of red.

And I was going to give them the benefit of doubt, since I don't know much about the climate in Northern Africa, aside from Morroco and Egypt, which seem like really hot places, so you know, maybe it's normal there?

But nope, that's not the case:

‘Hot Continent’ Perception Downplays Africa's Heat Wave Dangers

Africa is struggling with heat waves and many countries on the continent lack the resources rich economies have to deal with rising temperat

Some selections from the article:

"The region has been experiencing some of the most intense heat waves in recent years, but in many cases they’ve been under-reported due to misconceptions about Africans’ ability to withstand them.

“Africa is seen as a sunny and hot continent,” said Amadou Thierno Gaye, a research scientist and professor at Cheikh Anta Diop University in Dakar, the capital of Senegal. “People think we are used to heat, but we are having high temperatures for a longer duration. Nobody is used to this.”

"The Sahel, for instance, has been heating at a faster pace than the global average despite being hot already. Burkina Faso and Mali, both in West Africa’s Sahel, are among countries that are set to become almost uninhabitable by 2080, if the world continues on its current trajectory, a UK university study found. Its people are especially vulnerable due to shrinking resources, such as water, and poor amenities, and a dearth of trees and parks means there are few options for places to cool off."

[ninanation]

Come to think of it, it really is insane that my entire country is burning alive and literally no one in the rest of the world cares. Thousands of Indians are dying every day from the heat, it's 45+ degrees in multiple areas, the government couldn't give two fucks, we're getting severe warnings and red alerts, and not a soul outside of South Asia is speaking about it because why would you ever care about brown people

[ninanation]

please keep talking about how Becky from Maryland doesn't like the rising gas prices. It's clearly the more pressing issue.

[stackslip]

we're moving to an internet where children would be banned from reaching out for help and friendship online but abusive parents can post their children's every second online to humiliate and expose them for money with no pushback

[innerchildabortionclinic]

the problem with genetically modified crops is not so much the genetic modification but the patenting of genetic codes (and crops in general) as a tool of maintaining agricultural imperialism, and for this reason I can't talk to most people about GMOs

[oneheadtoanother]