Update time for the Toasty family! Bun has a little brother Butter and we are home and healthy! Not sure when I will have time to write but I am feeling surprisingly okay for having gone through hell and back during his labor. Please continue to be patient with Nightjar and I will get back to it when I can hahaha!
A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.
Rating: Gen
Characters: Takaishi Takeru, Patamon
Relationship: Takaishi Takeru & Patamon
Additional Tags: Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Partnership, Adorkable
Word Count: 2,121- Completed Oneshot
Authors Note: Just some Takeru & Patamon fluff for you all, staring our favorite thing about these two, the Patahat. I just think there has to be a reason for Patamon always sitting on Takeru's head and came to this conclusion.
Summery:
"Takeru?" Patamon asked, leaning their head down to try and look at Takeru's face.
"Why do you sit on my head, Patamon?"
Read on Ao3 - Fanfic below cut
Takeru's fingers hovered over the keys. He should be writing right now, he had finished all of his college work and had some lunch.
It was the perfect time for him to write. Nothing else for him to do, already ate, and no Digital World stuff to take up his time. Yet, Takeru just couldn't write.
Takeru couldn't get his mind to focus, his thoughts swirling around his head. Takeru sighed, leaning back in his chair as he stared at the ceiling. Sometimes he got like this- and he hated it.
Takeru just wanted to write, but he couldn't find it in himself to confront his past to get it into words.
Takeru wanted too, but he still had trouble remembering all that happened. He wasn't even writing anything that traumatic for him! Yet it affected him all the same and he just felt tired.
"Takeru!"
Takeru didn't have time to say anything as he felt a weight on his head, but he smiled.
"Hey, Patamon", Takeru greeted.
Patamon didn't say anything back, but Takeru could feel them pat his head with their little paws before laying down.
Takeru could imagine what they looked like sitting on his head.
Their paws curled close to their body as their wings pressed flat against their back, a little ball of cuteness nestled on Takeru's head.
Takeru wasn't wearing his hat since he was inside his apartment, so Patamon was nuzzled against his hair. It made Takeru scowl a little, his hair was going to look all frizzy when Patamon got off.
Takeru felt comforted with Patamon with him and it gave him some motivation to continue writing, even if it was for a little bit.
The sounds of the keys filled Takeru's bedroom as he wrote about sometime he and the others were walking across the Digital World.
Takeru's legs hurt just remembering it, but all that walking gave Takeru great endurance that was perfect for basketball when he played it. Takeru almost mindlessly wrote, referencing his notes he took when he went to talk with the others.
Takeru got to a part where Patamon, tired of flying, sat on Takeru's head. Takeru doesn't exactly remember the moment clearly, but the others told him they remembered Patamon curling up on his hat.
Just like Patamon was doing right now.
Takeru paused, his fingers hovering over the keys as he reread the line he just wrote a few times.
When did Patamon first start sitting on his head?
It's been happening for so long that Takeru doesn't even remember the first time it happened.
It happened so often that Takeru didn't even flinch when Patamon sat on his head anymore, or almost fall over. The others never batted an eye either, not questioning it when it happened like they used too.
Takeru remembers these things, but he can't remember when Patamon first sat on his head.
Takeru leaned his head back, staring at the wall as he thought. Takeru felt Patamon move up on his head, probably disturbed as Takeru leaned his head back.
"Takeru?" Patamon asked, leaning their head down to try and look at Takeru's face.
Takeru's bangs slightly hung in front of his face, and Patamon kinda just made that worse so he couldn't really see his partner.
"Why do you sit on my head, Patamon?"
Takeru also doesn't know why Patamon did this, sit on his head so often.
If they were tired than that was fine, Patamon always helped Takeru so the least Takeru could do was give his partner a place to rest. Takeru often held Patamon in his arms.
Both arms wrapped around the Digimon as Takeru was held them close to his heart, safe and sound right where Takeru could see and feel them.
However, more often than not, Patamon preferred being on Takeru's head.
Either under Takeru's hat, wearing it as their own which Takeru found adorable, or just on top of his hat not messing up his hair. On rare occasions such as this, Patamon would be on Takeru's head without a hat, just curled up in his fluffy blonde hair.
Patamon's been doing it for so long, since around the time they first meet, but has never given a reason.
Not that Takeru's ever asked why until this moment.
He never particularly cared in the moments, either too distracted by something else or just bathing in the familiar comfort of having Patamon on his head. Even if it make his neck and back sore.
Patamon kneaded Takeru's head again, their little paws griping Takeru's hair a little. It didn't hurt, but it did make Takeru a little worried.
"I like it up here, your hair is very soft", Patamon soon answered.
Takeru laughed a little as he felt Patamon nuzzle against his hair. Takeru didn't think Patamon was lying, Iori always said Takeru's hair was soft when he played with it, but he thought there was something more to this.
Takeru reached up, grabbing Patamon and taking the Digimon off his head.
Patamon only made a small noise of confusion, not fighting Takeru as he brought the Digimon down so they could talk eye to eye. Patamon tilted their head, silently asking Takeru what they were doing.
"Any other reason?" Takeru asked.
Everyone told Takeru he had a bad habit of holding everything inside. Takeru's tried to get better, still trying to get better, and he has, but it seemed his habits might have rubbed off on Patamon.
It made sense, Patamon hated making others sad, but Takeru didn't want his partner to have the same bad habits he did.
Patamon's eyes went wide, and they started pressing their paws together in nervousness. Patamon wasn't meeting Takeru's eyes, but Takeru just waited.
Patamon was never good at hiding something from Takeru, they could be a bit of a chatter mouth at times. It was part of the fact Patamon was a lot like a human child.
"It's because I want to protect you".
Takeru hummed, confused on what exactly Patamon meant.
Of course Patamon wanted to protect Takeru. It was what all Partner Digimon wanted, it's also what all Chosen Children wanted. For them to protect each other- but how did sitting on Takeru's head help Patamon do that?
Patamon squirmed in Takeru's arms, reaching forward to him with their little paws. Takeru brought Patamon closer, smiling as he felt the Digimon grab onto him and nuzzle themselves into his chest.
"When I'm always near you, I can protect you easier", Patamon started to explain.
Takeru nodded, that made sense. The other partners often just stood by their Chosen, and it made it a little easier to always be near them- especially if there was a sudden attack and they could be separated.
Patamon could have a tight grip in Takeru's head at times, sometimes the Digimon pulled out his hair which he did not like. Or just fell off Takeru's head along with his hat, which would sometimes be ripped by Patamon's sharp claws.
Another thing Takeru did not like very much.
Patamon's banned from being on his head for a week if either of those things happens.
"When I can feel that you are close, I feel more safe", Patamon said.
Takeru held Patamon tighter, he felt the same way it came to his partner. "I haven't been able to protect you from everything", Patamon whispered, and Takeru could hear their voice shake.
Takeru felt tears brim his eyes, and maybe he was already emotional from his writing, but he sniffled as he wiped his eyes. "I don't blame you", Takeru felt like saying.
Patamon was right, they haven't been able to protect Takeru from everything, but they protected him from so much else. Without Patamon- Takeru didn't know where he would be or what he would do.
Patamon nodded, but they continued to speak.
"If I'm on your head, I can see anything coming and act before they hurt you- I can protect you better".
Takeru didn't know what to say to that.
The others always said that Patamon was bit of a child and that only grew as Takeru started to get older but Patamon stayed the same.
Takeru knew that Patamon could be mature when they wanted too, but it was mostly when they evolved or during a fight. Even than they were still a lot like a child. It hurt Takeru, sometimes.
It just reminded Takeru of how he used to be, still so hopeful and happy.
He still was, but not in the same way he was when he was child. Before his parents separated and before the Darkness sunk it's claws into him.
Patamon was still so careful and happy, like Takeru wished to be.
That's how Takeru saw Patamon, almost like a younger version of himself. A mirror of his heart. A representation of the deepest part of Takeru that was still there, but was hard for him to find in the Darkness.
Patamon, a representation of how he used to be, was protecting him the best he could.
Takeru used to look down that version of himself. A useless crybaby that couldn't fight or stop anything from taking what he loved from him.
Patamon seemed to be getting nervous, so Takeru smiled down at them as he brought them into a hug. Takeru held Patamon close, and Patamon cuddled into Takeru's chest.
Takeru would never think Patamon was like that.
Not after Patamon was so strong. Yet, if Patamon was strong, a mirror reflection of a younger Takeru, than that Takeru was also strong.
It was admirable. The way Patamon sat on Takeru's head to protect him from everything.
It was also childish. A bit of a silly way to do something serious, but Takeru didn't care. Hearing how Patamon was trying to protect him at all times made his heart soar.
Overall, it was quite adorable.
"Thank you, Patamon", Takeru whispered to the Digimon.
Takeru felt tears come to his eyes, but he blinked them away. Now was not the time to cry over something like this. Maybe Takeru did still hate that crybaby part of himself, still hid all of his emotions, but he just felt so happy right now.
Takeru was thanking Patamon for more than just this. More than their silly little habit of always sitting on his head.
Patamon has done so much for Takeru and they were still doing so much for him. Even if they acted like a child sometimes, reminding Takeru of himself from oh so many years ago, they still looked out for him so much.
Even if Takeru's head and neck always hurt from how much Patamon sat on it, he didn't care anymore.
Maybe Patamon felt that same need to be useful that Takeru did. If so, Takeru would let Patamon on his head whenever they wanted.
"Anything for you, Takeru", Patamon said.
Takeru smiled, pulling the Digimon away and placing them back on his head. Patamon got comfy again, their little paws lightly holding Takeru's hair as they rested.
Takeru's head and neck immediately started to hurt, but he couldn't find it in himself to care as a smile spread across his face.
Patamon really was always looking out for him. Even when it seemed like they weren't. Patamon's way of it was a little odd, but it still made Takeru happy.
What would Takeru do without Patamon?
"Plus, it is really comfy up here".
Takeru laughed a little, seemed that was still a real reason for Patamon sitting on his head.
Takeru could feel Patamon moving around move on his head, even smelling his hair before letting out a content sigh and fully going limp in comfort on Takeru's head.
Takeru laughed, guess Patamon wasn't lying why they gave Takeru their first reason.
Patamon did really like just being on top of Takeru's head. Even if the main reason was to protect Takeru, it was their favorite place to be and more often than not they fell asleep up there.
Takeru loved it as well, even with the pain it brought him comfort in knowing exactly where his partner was. After losing Patamon before, being able to always feel his partner and hold them easily always comforted Takeru.
Takeru just loved it more after learning about this.
He would never take Patamon off his head again- unless the pain was really bad.
Takeru went back to his writing, newfound inspiration with the comfort of the familiar weight on his head and soft snores.
"Than you can stay up there for as long as you like, Patamon". Takeru told his partner.
Even if they had fallen asleep on their perfect seat.
If you don't know what it is, it's an audio drama that takes place the early summer of 2010(so some time around last evolution) and stars the 02 kids as Daisuke suggest they spend their summer together and they all have to decide where they want to go(they do this in a karaoke bar and i think that is a very important piece of information)
I just love it so much because it shows that even with how busy they are all, the 02 kids all still make time for each other. They all accept Daisuke's idea to hang out and already make plans to free their summer to they can see each other. You can see how their characters have changed over the years, but they still bicker with each other just like they used too. It shows how close the 02 are and how they will always be partners with each other.
Here's a youtube video with Japanese audio and English Subtitles, and I recommend you watch it if you love 02 because they are perfect in this. If you don't want to watch it, here is a translation by digi.lab.blog, and the youtube video uses this translation so they'll be the same.
Also, this CD drama doesn't take itself seriously and maybe the characterizations aren't perfect, but I don't care because this is canon in my heart
So, I made a post about my favorite 02 audio drama, titled, "Where Should We Go?" In the post, I say the characters might not be accurate as this is an external piece of media, and the CD Dramas have a habit of being kinda weird when it comes to canon.
Yet, I was thinking, are the 02 kids that weird. This is my favorite 02 CD drama so I had no problem reading it and thinking about how we see the 02 kids in it, so here is my analysis of the characters of the 02 kids in the CD drama, "Where Should We Go?"
One odd thing I've noticed with external pieces of media but they seem to continue Daisuke's crush on Hikari despite most of them taking place after 02 when Daisuke doesn't seem to have a crush on her anyone. Just an interesting thing that is kinda annoying to me.
Other than that, Daisuke is mostly the same we see him in other media in this CD drama. He's energetic but caring, seems a little daft but really has strong emotions and dreams he'll do anything to achieve. He's the one to suggest they all spend the summer together, showing that he likes it when all of his friends together and wants to work to them all being together even as he grows.
He goes to get Iori from school with Takeru, commenting on how Iori is still so polite and yelling it excitement when Ken and Wormmon show up but also calling him obsessive when it comes to Ken's treatment of hot springs.
He says he just wants to try ramen in any place they decide to go and makes comments about the ramen he could get there. The others never mention wanting to try ramen outside of just the food of that place, so they mostly ignore Daisuke. Not that Daisuke tries to get attention on himself till the end, but he mostly just comments on other things and chats with the others.
Once at the end, he shows how much he does take the others words to heart. Despite the fact Ken and Iori do not remember these conversations, it's their words that make Daisuke realize that if he likes ramen than he should pursue it and that it will take work to achieve his dream. He uses things given to him by Hikari and Miyako to go more places and learn how too travel the world to try ramen so he can make the best.
In the end, they all agree to go where Daisuke wants too, with the promise he makes them ramen when he has his own shop. Daisuke agrees, and I think this shows how much they all do value Daisuke. They had all been a little selfish as Iori points out, but than they agree to do what Daisuke wanted as an apology and it was his idea to all get together.
Daisuke totally keeps his promise, but of course, they all go to New York. Which the others are shocked about, but it's no surprise Daisuke wants to go to America.
V-mon is mostly just in the background, kinda just wanting to eat food of where ever they go which mirrors Daisuke's want to just try ramen from around the world. They do want to go to the ocean, however, but is emmbarresed when Daisuke says he can go swimming with Hikari. V-mon does tell the others Daisuke's plan to spend a summer trip together, which shows Daisuke has probably been thinking about it long enough to tell V-mon.
Miyako comes in late so there isn't much of her, but she is still the passionate person we know.
She gets very passionate along with Hikari about convincing the others to go to Spain as their summer trip. She ignores Hawkmon because of how passionate she is and goes off on a a speech with Hikari about how great Spain is.
She's standing firm in her decision to go, forgetting that not everyone can drink alcohol but wanting to share Spain with the others. This shows that Miyako has missed the others, and probably just want to share the place that has been her home for a while with them.
She gives Daisuke a ticket to help with travel or something of sorts and that helps him understand what he needs to do, even if Miyako doesn't understand why it's important.
Again, kinda in the background, but keeps the same passionate personally she has and caring one as well.
As she drops in out of nowhere from Spain because she wants to spend her summer with the others, to the shock of the others as she's been busy but nothing will keep her from her friends. This does however remind the others that with the Digital Gates they can go anywhere without paying money or waiting, which greatly opens the places they could go as they can go outside of Japan.
This causes more trouble, but Miyako does not care because she wants to go to Spain! She also reminds them all that they will need to exchange their currency if they go out of Japan, something she has probably dealt with as she has been to a lot of countries.
Hawkmon is still a voice of reason to Miyako, trying to calm her down, but also sometimes riles her up as they help convince the others to go do Spain. They are one of the Digimon that are more in the background, but is still very set on going to Spain with Miyako. They also points how how important this gathering is, so they must go, showing both they and Miyako care deeply about still spending time with the others even as they live in Spain.
Iori is still a polite and mostly soft spoken boy.
He doesn't have an particular place he wants to go for the trip, but he thinks about how to clear his schedule so he can have free time to spend with anyone. This shows he does want to go on the trip with the others, even if he doesn't have a place he wants to go.
He's able to tell that when Daisuke and Takeru appear to pick him up from school together it's important, but he still kinda teases Daisuke by calling him stingy when it comes to money which Daisuke just shoots back.
Iori also angers Armadimon by almost calling Naoyga's food rip-offs and is kinda teasing at times, either intentolly or not which isjust funny to me. Takeru is rubbing off on him.
Iori also knows a lot about Japanese gepography and helps find places that have activtys for everyone to do to try and find a middle ground. When everyone agrees to go to Spain after Hikari and Miyako's speech, he mentions how everyone caved quickly and sounds a little disappointed.
He does remind everyone that if they can open gates, they can go to Spain and Australia and any place in Japan in minutes so they can visit a lot of places.
Iori was also the one to make Daisuke realize that he has to understand ramen and just eating ramen at shops over Japan won't teach him what he needs. Iori doesn't remember this, and honestly, it sounds like Daisuke might have imagined Iori saying this but who knows. In the end, he's the one that realizes they all ignored Daisuke and how selfish it was to decide places and not ask him what he wanted even if he said he just wanted to eat ramen, so he apologizes.
It shows that Iori is still anaytically and tends to focus on facts, but he still cares about his friends and does not like being rude to them. This is also shown in how he's shown always trying to find a middle ground to make everyone happy.
Armadimon however, is obsessed with the idea of going to Nagoya, which is funny because that is the type of dilect that Armadimon speaks.
Armadimon praises this place despite the fact they've probably never been, going as far to get angry as the others point out that the food of Nagoya are kinda just copycats and aren't that original and almost Armor Evolving into Digmon to fight Tailmon over it. Ken and Daisuke noticed the atomsphere changing and try to stop them from fighting, but it's Takeru who manages that in the end.
Armadimon wants to see the castles, and the way they are so obsessed with going to one place contrasts Iori as he's fine going anywhere. In the end, Armadimon doesn't seem upset about going to New York instead, but sometimes tells me they will be begging Iori to take them to Nagoya one day.
Considering Iori hints that he's thought about Nagoya before, Armadimon has probably mentioned it for a while now so they'll have to go eventually.
Ken has defiantly grown in his ability to express himself around the 02 kids, but is still a very kind person.
He shows up around the middle of the audio drama and suggest they go see hot springs. Ken starts to rave about hot springs, and he knows a lot about them and it sounds like he honestly wants to make love to them. Takeru points out that Ken has, "surprisingly refined interests", but its so phrased to make it sound like Takeru is not insulting him. Daisuke teases Ken about it as well, but Ken also laughs at Daisuke when he repeats something he said, so it's all good between partners.
Ken knows about hot springs in a place Iori suggest they go and its so funny to think that it might be canon that Ken really likes hot springs. Ken is kind enough to look stuff up for Wormmon and is also open to the others ideas of where they go.
Though he is shocked to hear hotels in other parts of the world do not come with toothbrushes for their guests. Ken is also the one who tells Daisuke that if he wants to run a ramen shop he needs to a plan to turn his dream into reality, but Ken doesn't seem to remember this.
Once they all agree to go where ever Daisuke wants, Ken makes him promise that he will make them all ramen he will make. It's simple, but it's sweet, and that's Ken in this. He takes others into consideration and is able to compromise, but he is also still a bit shy overall.
Wormmon is just adorable in this. When they arrive with Ken, it kinda looks like Takeru only greets Wormmon and not Ken and I find that funny.
Wormmon also tries to defend Ken when the other Digimon are confused about his ranting about hot springs and the other Chosen point it out just to confess they also don't understand anything Ken said which is cute cause it shows how much Wormmon wants to protect Ken but is still just a Digimon that doesn't fully understand humans at the end of the day.
Wormmon also seems very excite to see Hawkmon, which it's cute how this CD drama does show the relationships between the Digimon as well as the Chosen Children. Wormmon also wants to go sking in Austrila because going to the south in the summer is boring. When asked how they would even put on skis, Wormmon doesn't reply. Wormmon points out how everyone likes ramen, to which all agree, and honestly thats probably the truest thing to be said in this audio drama.
Takeru is kinda in the background of this CD drama, but he's pretty good.
He helps them all get a room at the karaoke bar, pointing out how much food they've ordered after joking about how the staff must think they must be gluttons as they all snuck their Digimon in so they didn't have to pay for them. Takeru teases Daisuke by saying their all stingy, but he drops it.
He also doesn't really have a place he wants to go. He gets confused when Patamon says they want to collect firewood in the mountains, but points out how they all want to go swimming with each other even if it's not explicitly stated he ever learned how to swim.
Takeru remembers that Ken has soccer training camp and was surprised that Iori's schedule is flexible, while teasing the fact the older kids only ever hang out with them when it's coinvent for them. He points out how hard it is for them to go overseas just for Miyako to appear to and remind them of the Digital Gates, which excites Takeru as they can go anywhere. Iori also finishes his sentence, which is just cute to me.
He also seems confused that Miyako would make the long trip to Japan just to see them, so it seems to completely forgot about the Digital gates. He does ask if they will need their passports tho, which Miyako says is just for inns. Takeru does however know hotels and inns in other places don't have toothbrushes, which might suggest he thinks about traveling or has maybe gone to France to see his grandparents.
When Tailmon and Armadimon almost evolve he stops them and reminds them that they will destroy the karaoke bar if they evolve inside of it. He suggest they try diving, which is funny to me because from as far as we know Takeru can't even swim.
Takeru knows just thinking about something won't make it come true in reference to Daisuke achieving his dream. Also, it's him that suggest they all let Daisuke pick where to go, to which the others agree. Takeru in this is perfect, even if he is in the background. He teases his friends, but cares about them and knows quite a bit about travel.
Patamon seems to mostly care about food. Even if they want to gather firewood in the mountains for some reason, they're open to other places without much preference. Yet, once they learn they can go anywhere with the gates they want to go the northern islands.
They also want to sing, and I do hope they all uses the fact their at a karaoke bar to actually sing as they mostly use the microphone to project their speeches, but Takeru says they can and I need to see that. Patamon also does not seem annoyed that Takeru stuffed themselves in his backpack, maybe their just used to it at this point but Takeru does apologize.
Patamon wonders about missing Japanese food and agrees with Takeru when he says you can't wait for your dreams to happen and with Wormmon when they say everyone likes ramen. Patamon seems to still be a childish Digimon, but a very lovable Digimon as well.
Hikari, while also in the background, is pretty good.
It's implied that when Hikari first comes she smakes Iori to stop him from suggesting they go someplace, do with that what you will.
Also known of them, not even Takeru, knew she nor Tailmon was there because they were too busy talking to hear her. To which Daisuke asks if they are ninja and Tailmon says no but honestly I tottally see Hikari appearing out of nowhere and scaring others so I say they are ninja.
Hikari also wants to go to Spain because it's where Miyako is, and that is cute because it means she misses her Jogress Partner. Hikari really wants to play in Spain, and has a speech with Miyako, Hawkmon, and Tailmon to convice the others.
She also doesn't try to stop Tailmon from fighting Armadimon, and neither does Iori, and I thought that funny. I mean, they Armor Evolve, which the Chosen Children have to say, "Digimental Up", to trigger it so if anything they are okay with the fight. Just my headcanon tho.
Hikari does mentioned that not a lot of people know Spain has casinos, which is so funny to me. Hikari just wants to gamble. If anything, Hikari is more stubborn than Miyako about going to Spain, probably because Miyako raved about it to her and now Hikari wants to see it for herself.
Also, a guide book she gives Daisuke which helped him realize he wants to travel the world to try ramen was junk she was trying to get rid off. Daisuke is shocked when Hikari says seeing him chase his dreams is cool, but I think Hikari likes watching all of them chase their own dreams.
In the end, she does agree to go to New York, but the way she was so stubborn shows she's more okay sharing her thoughts and emotions with each other. Her and Miyako are also the team you do now want to mess with, why do you think the others folded so easily after all?
Tailmon is also just as stubborn as Hikari. Wanting to fight Armadimon and willing to take the fight outside to finish it when Takeru says they can't evolve in doors. Tailmon calls the other premature in their hastily decision making, which I find funny because they are an adult level Digimon and the other Digimon are child level while the 02 Chosen are only late teens to early twenties.
They are also the one to say known of the others noticed them and seemed angry at Daisuke calling them and Hikari ninjas. Tailmon does have a spesific region of Spain they want to go to, but will probably be happy with any place in Spain and I'm sure Hikari and Miyako are open to anywhere in Spain.
So overall, this audio drama does a pretty good job continuing the characters we've seen. Some characters are more focused on then others just because of the fact they appear earlier and are more important to the story, but everyone is good.
This CD drama also doesn't take itself too seriously, which is why everyone seems so happy and this is probably a more natural dynamic between these characters compared to what we normally see when there's an attacking Digimon or the worlds are in danger.
So the characters still might not be perfect, but they are pretty in character and it's mostly how they all interact with each other anyway. So this is still my favorite 02 CD Drama
- you are Keira Knightley, the high-spirited and ever so slightly spoiled child of a doting father who happens to be the governor
- every man in the world is crazy about you, from the dashing naval officer who asks for your hand in marriage to the handsome young blacksmith’s apprentice who you met as a child and feel a strong bond with to the devilish pirate lord who saves your life and flirts with you shamelessly and you make out with him once but it’s for a good cause
- you have two weddings, one where you femme it up and then it turns all emo when it rains on your wedding day and the groom is dragged off in chains by another guy who secretly has the hots for you and then you have a second wedding where you dress as a man because you’re the pirate king now and you exchange custom vows and witty banter during a sword fight with zombies
- all three of your potential love interests end up on the same ship at one point they have a lot of tension between them but they don’t fight because you told them not to
- a random pirate you knew for half an hour names you his heir and now you command one of the biggest and most important fleets in the sea
- not only that but you became the Queen of all pirates who now obey you and are at your command. You use your powers to destroy the fleet of the East India Company
Sometimes I really want to take everyone under the age of 24 (as of 2026) by the shoulders and say:
"I'm really sorry that lockdown and the ongoing pandemic interrupted pivotal educational and social/emotional development moments for you. You have an uphill battle towards adjusting to a lot of community based efforts because you experienced a mass trauma during an incredibly important time in your life where you should have physically been around your peers learning to engage in shared community. There is no "but" here, I'm genuinely really sorry. Something many of us consider key points in our interpersonal growth as youths was taken from you, not without reason but without care for its impact on you. I hope you know we are eternally allies in our struggles and if that is something you struggle to know I hope you can learn it someday."
Because so many of the angriest, most disenfranchised people I see on this website are under 24 and I often try to put younger people's behavior in the context of where they might have been 2020. I've seen the impact on my siblings and their peers+friends first hand, all ages 18-24. We've talked about how its impacted them, the isolation, the attachment to the internet, the anxieties and phobias and fears it developed in them due to the pandemic, the political unrest, and the responses to both that we've seen since. I know they're not the only ones and I know how much being marginalized also influences that impact too.
It's terrifying. I know it must be terrifying for a lot of the young people on Tumblr too. I hope one day we're able to bridge all of those complex feelings into something collective and positive so we can do our best to prevent similar traumas from happening to future generations.
If you all will allow me a moment to analyze the competition as it exists, there's something interesting going on with the numbers.
As we all know, thanks to the support of the good people of Tumblr, Tylenol has experienced a meteoric rise to second place. Even though her competition is stiff, I believe in Tylenol's ability to go the distance.
But let's take a look at the competition:
Elmer seems to be a lovely boy. I have no qualms with Elmer, and think he would look fantastic on a beer can. But what about Elmer's campaigns? Who is the power behind the throne here, and how have they managed to find such breakout success on this competition?
A handful of wealthy donors are trying to buy this competition.
At the end of the day, all donations are good donations here. This is a charity event so every penny earned is going to help animals in need. But it's not lost on me that Elmer's current ranking is thanks entirely to a few individuals with the financial means to put their thumbs on the scale.
Tylenol's donors, comparatively, are small and numerous, mostly $1-10 donations from many passionate believers in what she stands for (autism and pain relief I think).
Overall, the donations tell a very different story than what the base ranking shows you. Elmer is held aloft by just 24 donors and bolstered by a few wealthy patrons, whereas Tylenol has won the hearts of literally hundreds of people. Even the current third place, Abby, owes her ranking to numerous small contributions rather than one or two large ones.
Having "a lot" of followers on tumblr is funny because probably 80% of them are ghost blogs who haven't been on here in like a decade.
It's like, no no, those aren't my followers, that's a graveyard! I'm the caretaker of a thousands of tombs. I love them, but they've been dead for seven years.
dawg my discord got hijicked and sent out fuckin spam links... ive fixed it and still have access to the account but ughhh i now have to see if i cant get the guideline strikes off.