bet you weren't expecting THIS

Aro Lesbian | im just tryna vibe man

[thelastsongimwastingonyou]

no way

[thelastsongimwastingonyou]

[deadeyesopened]

[tarragonthedragon]

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[jewish-joy]

#i love prayer plants but they're fussy so I don't keep them#can we have a picture op they're so pretty

Behold, Dorothea

(Naming my plant "Gift of God," and then giving her to a seminarian with just the explanation that it's a prayer plant? Okay, that's my bad.)

[jewish-joy]

I should also add- I ran into my rabbi and explained the situation. I then asked, earnestly, if there was a remedy. A mikveh of sorts, or a beit din, or something.

He turned to me, sighed, and said in a very deadpan tone-- "Plants don't have covenants, Joy,"

So Theodora's a free agent according to rabbinic opinion. I guess I'll permit her to be Roman Catholic.

[importantcatpics]

[noisepuppy]

I asked if this was an art installation and a Danish person said "no this is quite a serious impedance"

[yehudah]

trans bears are literally stronger than any US marine

[they-were-a-skater-gay]

How on earth would they be able to tell that a bear is trans. I’m not saying they can’t be but how would they communicate that.

[yehudah]

:/

[schizm-deactivated]

this is so fucking funny

[specialstarfish]

update:

[fortooate]

we the jury find the defendant not guilty your honor

[the-dao-of-the-zerg]

[simonalkenmayer]

I found this very funny because I had the same thought

[dduane]

Meanwhile, via Bluesky...

[rogue-ai-cat]

And here is the resulting image. There is at least Someone in the U.K. government who is actually doing their job, and it is Chief Mouser to the Cabinet, Larry the Cat.

Source

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

I love Matilda because it's a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren't fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn't fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

[brighthounds]

This tragic expression is because I gave her a cod chew this morning instead of a Costco dental bone (we are all out). 😔

[whyisablog]

Rest in peace dental bones... 😔

[brighthounds]

phenomenal, ty

[achillesinhighheels]

[cognitohazardous]

my luminous mama

[spekterjester]

i was so moved by this picture i had to draw it

[mclennonyaoi]

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

[prohaloplayer-deactivated202601]

we named it the computer mouse because it fit so comfortably in our hands and it reminded us of ancient times where our ancestors put their palms over the backs of cave mice and shuffled them across the ground to move the cursor on their cave wall mounted gaming monitors

[urie]

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

[queer-reader-07]

[kropotkindersurprise]

New York sculptor spent $100,000 to make a Charlie Kirk statue no one wants to buy

Sergio Furnari said he thought the lifesize sculpture – which no one commissioned – would raise ‘millions’ of dollars

[oneheadtoanother]

[telumendils]