aro sideblog

Kevin | I'm active when I'm active | 21 | they / them or ze / zim | about | byf

[aronear]

not to make another reblog bait post but: aros reblog with something you just cannot understand due to being aro, i'll start, i am absolutely baffled by the concept of x reader fanfics

[arodabi]

Whats an aromantic flag and why you should include it in your pride posts

disclaimer: i know theres fighting every year about who should and shouldn’t be included in pride posts, this isn’t to argue with people who just hate aspec ppl, this is an informational post. don’t send me bullshit about it

Why should you include aro flags?

many people believe that aromanticism is covered under the asexual flag, so if they include that they’re including aros, however that’s not the case. aro and ace people share the aspec community, but one identity does not fall under the other. It’s less like using the trans flag as an umbrella for all trans and nonbinary people even if there’s a separate nonbinary flag, and more like using the transmasc pride flag to represent all transmascs and transfems. Aros are just not covered under the ace flag because both groups are separate identities. people can be aro and ace but not all aros are ace.

aro is also an incredibly important identity for a lot of people, something we take a lot of pride in. we get relegated to “minor or add on identity” all the time because people keep thinking of us as the -romantic version of asexual. we have multiple terms, multiple flags, and a huge array of different aro experiences, we are not a subset of asexuality and many of us wish for that to be more respected.

last on the reasons of why you should include aros in pride posts is that we have no larger umbrella flag, unless we’re counting the rainbow flag. the aro flag is the umbrella flag for arospec identities. if you don’t include it then we aren’t being included. and this isn’t me telling you you have to include an aro option for everything you make (tho that would be nice) ppl have the right to choose what flags they want to include. but theres been many times when i see people add  flags representing all parts of the community except aro, and then add on smaller more niche flags. i don’t want this to come across as another post like “how dare you include X flag but not Y flag!!!” because i think everyone should have the joy of representation, i just think many people don’t realize they’re even leaving aros out. either through lack of awareness or lack of knowledge on what the aro flag actually is, and that’s what i wanna help with this post.

What even is the aro flag?

Let’s start with what it’s not:

[ID: a flag with four horizontal stripes. from the top down they are green, yellow, orange and black. End ID]

This was the first proposed aro flag. We do not use it anymore for a couple reasons, the main one is that it resembled another countries flag too closely and was getting confused. I’d think this one would have died out by now but i literally just saw a post include it today.

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, yellow, grey, and black. End ID]

This was the second popular aro flag. It is very close to the main aro flag now except the middle stripe is yellow. That stripe was changed due to causing some people sensory problems. This one is sometimes still accidentally used, probably because it looks very close to the main flag, but it’s not the main aro flag either.

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are black, grey, white, light green, and dark green. End ID]

I’ve actually seen this flag used a lot by people not very knowledgeable about aros. This is a flipped version of the aro flag. I also for the life of me can’t find an example of this but i’ve seen more than once a version that is flipped and removes a stripe of green so it looks like a recolored ace flag. These are pretty common, enough for me to have seen multiple people selling merch with this incorrect flag. I think it comes from people thinking the aro flag is the same as the ace one which does start with black at the top and has only four stripes.

[ID: A flag with seven horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are black, grey, white, green, white, grey, and black. End ID]

Yeah, this is the agender flag, not the aro flag. I see these get mixed up all the time. It’s not hard so see why with similar colors and a white grey black gradient, but as someone who is agender and aro, it kinda gets on my nerves when people mix these up. Also no this is not the same color palette as the aro flag. I’ve seen people make designs labeled as agender/aromantic that just use the agender color palette. The aro flag has two greens and they’re both different than the agender green.

[ID: Two flags next to each other. The first one has five horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are orange, light orange, white, light blue, dark blue. The second flag has eight horizontal stripes. from top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, white, grey, black, grey, white, and purple. End ID]

These are two common aroace flag designs. These flags are used by a lot of people and you might see them included in pride posts. These are good flags, however, they should not be used to represent all aros. Including an aroace flag does not mean you’re including all aros and all aces, it means you’re including just aroaces. There’s plenty of aros who aren’t ace and aces who aren’t aro. It’d be like putting a gay trans flag in a post and saying its there to represent all gay and all trans people, when the flag is usually used to represent only people who are both gay and trans. Again, these flags are not bad, and them being included in pride posts is good actually, but they should not be used to represent all aro and all ace people.

Now let’s go over what actually is the aro flag:

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, white, grey, and black. End ID]

This is the main aro flag. It’s the one most widely used and recognized. The color meanings are dark green and light green representing the spectrum of aro identities, white meaning friendship, and grey and black representing the spectrum of sexual identities in the aro community.

But wait there’s more!

The aro identity is a spectrum, meaning theres more identities under aromantic, and they have their own flags too. If you really wanna go wild and include some other aro flags heres some more. (this is not a full list of all arospec identities, just some i see around the most. feel free to look into more arospec identities and flags! also all of these definitions are coming from me and my personal knowledge of aro identities, i do not identify as any of these though, only as aromantic, so if i give the wrong definition please tell me so i can fix it!)

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are dark green, light green, white, yellow, and dark yellow. End ID]

This is the alloaro flag. Alloaros are aros who aren’t ace. They deserve more support and attention because they’re really amazing members of the aro community.

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are dark green, grey, white, grey, and dark green. End ID]

This is the greyromantic flag. Greyromantic means someone who feels romantic attraction rarely. The term greyromantic is also sometimes used to mean aro identities that still feel some form of romantic attraction.

[ID: A flag with four horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are black, green, aqua, and grey. End ID]

the quoiromantic or WTFromantic flag. It means someone who can’t or doesn’t want to tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction basically. It’s got a special place in my heart bc i used to id as quoi.

[ID: A flag with five horizontal stripes. From top to bottom the colors are red orange, orange, yellow, white, and black. End ID]

This is the Lithromantic flag. Lithromantic means someone who feels romantic attraction but doesn’t want it reciprocated, or may no longer feel romantic attraction when it is reciprocated.

[ID: A flag with a black, sideways triangle on the left side pointing right and three horizontal stripes. The first stripe from the top is a thick white stripe, the next stripe is thin and dark green, and the bottom stripe is thick and grey. End ID]

The demiromantic flag. Someone who is demiro doesn’t feel romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone.

And there’s many more arospec identities!

I hope i’ve helped to clear up some misconceptions about aros and our flags! We’re not under the ace umbrella, we’re our own community. We all have different experiences, different relationships to our identity, and I hope to see more people represent aros this year!

Have a happy pride month!

[girldraki]

that post that’s like “love is the only thing that matters... (in notes) GOD why are all you aromantics so PISSED about this post do you not consider [joyful human experiences] to be LOVE are you that SAD” like hm let’s examine what most people mean when they say “love” devoid of context as a fun exercise and maybe if we try real hard we can figure out why some aros felt alienated by the original post

[aro-to-the-knee]

Why can’t casual sex be more of a thing? Blow your mates dick! Sleep with your BFF. It’s so much safer than random hookups and without the hassle of a romantic relationship?

If you trust someone, and want to blow off steam, the idea that you can’t just fuck is bizarre? Why are casual relationships and flings such a filthy idea? There is a bond, a bed, and time.

Friendship sex 2k19

[aro-to-the-knee]

Okay everyone in the comments here’s a brief explanation of what I was on about

I’m aromantic, not ace.

I’m talking about social stigma of sexual relationships and safe sex with people you trust

I am NOT talking about breaching personal boundaries. If your friend isn’t interested then Don’t. If a friend is pressuring you into sex then they aren’t a good friend

I’m not telling ace people to have sex with friends

I’m genuinely only talking about casual, consensual, no strings attached, fun with friends.

[alloaroworlds]

I’ve reblogged an earlier version of this post, but I’m reblogging again because of the response the OP has gotten, including what even is this comments, the belief we should instead emphasise non-sexual intimacy between friends, someone talking about sexual assault, an asexual talking about how they just don’t get it and someone talking about exploring sexuality and asexuality.

It’s beyond frustrating that a non-asexual aro/allo-aro can’t make a post about casual friendship sex without … well, this. This post was not for or about asexuals, and yet this post wasn’t allowed to exist as one expression of allosexual aromanticism without some asexuals (and other folks) putting in their unwanted two cents about how this post doesn’t work for them or doesn’t cover what they need from relationships or should instead talk about something else!

If you’re asexual, allo-aro posts are not meant for you to come and talk about how you don’t understand or desire sexual relationships, sex or sexual attraction.

Not everything a-spec is for or about you.

Let us non-asexual a-specs have our own damn conversations for once, please.

OP, I’m really sorry that you had to endure this nonsense on your post. It’s not okay, especially when society takes such a dim view of what you’re describing to the extent that we only have the horrible term “friends with benefits” to name it. We need more conversations that validate allo-aros’ want to explore beyond Western society’s narrow conventions of how to go about relationships, sex and intimacy, and it’s disheartening to get this sort of response when these conversations are still few and far between.

[arodabi]

Hey aros

What’s the coldest and hottest weather you’ve been in?

[an-aro-without-an-ace]

A Response To The New Host Of Xeno-Aligned

I am going to keep this as straight forward ad I can. However, let me get this out of the way now. This is not an attack on the new host of Xeno-Aligned. Do I think their views are extremely alloarophobic? Yes. Am I asking for everyone who reads this post to go harass them for it? No. The better response would be to drown them out. So thats what I hope to do. Spread this information, instead of what they are saying. Understand? Cool.

Now, onto what was said.

The Issue with Xeno-Aligned

Incase you aren't privy to what is going on right now, the blog Xeno-Aligned has a new host. The previous host was already well known in the aro community for being arophobic. Saying aro's were under the ace spectrum and erasing non-ace aro's. This new host believes the same things.

This is what they posted in response to someone asking if the blog would still push arophobic rhetoric.

This is extremely harmful.

What's the issue?

The issue here is that the term alloaro was coined specifically to avoid non-ace aro's being called asexual. This is a massive problem in the community. Aro voices, ALLOARO voices are being talked over by asexuals who refuse to acknowledge us. Aro's who don't want to be defined by asexuality are being blatantly erased, and you see very little actual change being brought up about it.

Let me give you an example you might understand if you are asexual and believe in the same view point as Xeno-Aligned.

You are not gay, you are straight. Why? Because gay falls under the "Straight Spectrum". You can like the same gender and only the same gender, and still be straight. Straight is just an umbrella term for the identities that fall under it. Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual, all of these identities fall under the Straight Spectrum.

You see how uncomfortable that sounds? If this is what Xeno-Aligned was saying, the entire community would be in uproar. However, its directed at alloaro's, so no one else seems to be offended.

This is coming from an alloaro who is tired of being treated as the same thing as someone who is asexual or aroace. If you believe aro's are under the asexual spectrum, you are doing this community harm. Alloarophobia is very present in the aspec community and its time to acknowledge it. Just because you are part of the aspec community, doesn't mean you can't be aphobic.

I am sick and tired of seeing this in our community. This is not up for debate. We are not asexual. Do not treat us otherwise.

[chillinglikeashilling]

Shout out to all the black aro/aces on tumblr. Shout out to black aro/aces who deal with hyper-sexualization by other people because of the stereotypes about black sexuality, Shoutout to the black neuro-divergent aces who deal with racism/ablesim in how people approach their aromanticism/asexuality. Shout out to the black aro/aces from countries/religious situations/families that place a lot of pressure on the idea of purity and procreation and the duties you ‘owe’ to your ‘inevitable’ partner. Shout out to black aro/aces who are comfortable with their aro/ace-ness. Shout out to black aro/aces who are still getting there. Shout out the many black aro/ace people who live with experiences that I cannot put into words because they are so vastly different than mine. I love you all and we’re out here

[aroacepagans]

So I’ve seen almost no social media promotion for it, but someone created a website where people can list/find aromantic friendly professionals like therapists and doctors. It’s a little sparse at the moment, but almost all of the information is crowdsourced, so if people know of aro-friendly professionals I encourage you to submit a recommendation! The more people add to this, the better it will be as a community resource!

[pinkpossibly]

This user is alloaro. Send me an ask for what userbox you would like to see next!

[enbees-and-aros]

[ID: A userbox with the allo-aro flag on the left against a light pink background, and the text “this user is allo-aro” written on the right in dark pink text against a pinkish white background. END ID]

[cablenews]

*grabs you by your shirt collar* for the final time. if a character doesn't feel romantic attraction, they are AROMANTIC. aromantic means not feeling romantic attraction. if you are talking about a character who mentions not feeling romantic attraction, getting crushes, etc, they are aromantic.

stop labeling aromantic experiences or characters as asexual ones. asexual means not feeling sexual attraction. many people are aromantic WITHOUT being asexual. not every aromantic person is also ace. if a character is aromantic, do not call them asexual.

if a character is both aromantic + asexual, it's still bad to just call them ace, as that erases their aromanticism.

stop doing this thing where you call aro characters asexual! stop calling aroace characters just ace + ignore them being aro as well! if a character says "i don't have crushes", they are not ace / coded. they are aro / coded. it's very shitty to continously shove aros under the rug. cut it out.

[some-thrilling-heroics]

I’m celebrating 😊

[lovingitaromantic]

[ID: A 3x3 aro and agender winter moodboard.

first row: A black road winding through a snowy field and trees; A drink with lemon slices in it sitting on a white book with gray and white knitted material and fairy lights around it; A green knit hat, green phone, a potted plant and white earbuds on a white surface.

second row: An aromantic flag. The colors are green/light green/white/gray/black; A dark skinned person wrapped up in a white sheet. Only their muscular arm and part of the top of their head is visible; The agender flag. The colors are black/gray/white/light green/white/gray/black.

third row: A green sweater sleeve in front of a lighter green fabric; An up close image of a snow covered evergreen and brown pine cones; a stack of brown and green cookies(?) sitting on a circular slab of wood. End ID]

[aronear]

feelin aro today so how abt a positivity post

shout out to aros who don't love anyone, aros who hate the word love, aros who don't want ANY kind of committed relationship (platonic or not).

shout out to aros who aren't ace, aros who feel the ace label has been forced onto them, aros who are just aro, aros who are allo.

loveless aros, alloaros, non-sam aros, you're all deeply important parts of the aspec community 🌻

[thatcupofdirt]

you don't need to experience love to be considered "human"

[kyanitedragon]

Someone should make blogs where allos, allo-aros, and acespecs can give advice for asexuals wondering about sexual attraction, and where allos, allo-aces, and arospecs can give advice for aromantics wondering about romantic attraction.

I’m endcase aroace so I can’t do this myself, but I’d love to see this become a thing. I have so many questions about romantic and sexual attraction.

(*I’m using “aromantic” and “asexual” as umbrella terms to refer to the entire aro spectrum and ace spectrum as well as those questioning, and using arospec and acespec to refer to the aros and aces who do experience little / conditional romantic or sexual attraction.)

[EDIT: This is now a thing! Thanks to @willow-patronus who made the two blogs: @arospectips & @acespectips!]

[lovingitaromantic]

[ID: A curving road and a misty forest. In the sky in black text is written “Alloaros with ADHD are powerful. Autistic alloaros should not be underestimated” End ID]

[mothpride]

Crytpid Aromantic Moodboard ! 

[lovingitaromantic]

[ID: 3x3 aro cryptid moodboard.

row 1: a green tinted humanoid shape with a glowing green light in the center of their head standing in front of a forest; a green tinted image of water with a dark shadow in it; a black/dark green tinted image of a hand reaching up.

row 2: a green tinted forest of leaveless trees; an edited aro flag in the colors dark green/lime green/yellow/gray-green/black; a gray/dark green tinted foggy forest.

row 3: a green tinted image of a brown metal bird; a leady forest with glowing eyes from the underbrush; a dark silhouette of a person in front of a dark cloudy sky. End ID]

[lgbtqia-moodboards]

Aromantic, Sunflower, Artist @that-tea-drinking-artist - mod aimee

[lovingitaromantic]

[ID: A 3x3 aro, sunflower, and artist moodboard.

Row 1: A close-up of a sunflower behind a chain linked fence; A white arm with sunflowers painted vertically down the wrist; A sunflower in front of a field of sunflowers.

Row 2: A white canvas with different yellow paints and paintburshes on it; a pale yellow background with the words “support aromantics” on it; a pant jeans pocket with a yellow paint bottle and paintburshes in it.

Row 3: A white hand with sunflowers painted all over the palm; a bouquet of small sunflowers; a traditional painting of sunflowers with thick paint for texture. End ID]