aro aro aro

aro blog occasionally featuring other queerness + some discourse | 24 | genderqueer and trans | they/them/their or xy/xym/xyr | queer | aro/multisexual | inclusionist

[aromanticgrey]

[aromanticgrey]

Them: I have hanahaki disease because I love you and you don't love me back! How could you do this to me?! You have to return my feelings or I'll die!

Me:

[aromanticgrey]

*slaps roof of this meme* this bad boy can fit so much truth in it

[zazzmaster5000]

Carnival of Aros July 2020 Roundup

Happy August, friends! Thanks very much to everyone who contributed an entry! The moment you’ve all been waiting for arrives at last: the grand finale, the final track, the end of side 2. The roundup!

Ace Film Reviews interpreting songs in relation to platoniromanticism

Aria Pahari’s gradual move from love songs to mental health songs

Aria’s Hollow on animated musicals and songs to snap yourself out of Aro Depression

aromanticrey on chaos and playlists

aro-neir-o on alt music and how love affects eir songwriting process

arotechno shamelessly plugging Keane and discussing the power of a song about closeness

bookgirlfan’s understanding of an Avril Lavigne classic

demiromantic-official’s takes on the Cure and the beautiful vagueness of the best love songs

eldeninger realizing some very important things (such as the subtitle for this month being a reference to Sir Paul McCartney :P)

imaginationphoenix on loving love songs

imladiris’ relationship (heh) to Sleeping at Last’s Nine

luvtheheaven’s stream of consciousness on amatonormativity and the assumption that we’re all looking for love

odannygirl7 on a Broadway musical that missed a wonderful opportunity

my entry explaining why i relate to Lemonade, Beyoncé’s emotional journey

and that’s that for July! thanks again to everyone who submitted. your experiences were an utter joy to read, and have given me a few songs to add to my Spotify list. can’t wait to listen to em!

[aromanticgrey]

Carnival of Aros, July 2020: Music

I Have Loved The Stars Too Fondly To Be Fearful Of The Night - Being An Aromantic Lover Of Music

Some songs are too romantic for me to enjoy. Songs about feelings I don’t experience and stories that center romance above all else. Yet there are “love songs” that go broader and deeper than many surface level romantic songs. Songs about joy and found family, pain and loss, solidarity and revolution and fighting for something greater than us and our relationships alone. Songs sung and played with all the passion these subjects deserve.

From the somber anguish of black metal, and on the other end of the genre, love songs not to people but to the earth and the universe. From poetic lyrics of great passion, touching the beautiful vulnerability and strength of feeling deeply, to songs that need no lyrics to bring everything from catharsis to elation. All of these are things that touch me. Music can reach into my soul like almost nothing else can.

I enjoy intense and often chaotic music. I want music to shake and inspire me. I listen to stuff that simply sounds cool as well, music that brings groovy happiness. Synthwave is somehow great for both of these things. 

I have so many playlists. I have some for my favorite genres; my synthwave, metal, and dark country and southern folk playlists are getting very large. I have some for specific moods and themes. I have a voidpunk playlist and a ritual playlist. I also have a playlist called “I Have Loved The Stars Too Fondly To Be Fearful Of The Night”. It’s full of “love songs”, but ones full of danger and pain, and hope and love that transcends labels and categories. I love connections where people work together to chase dreams, and where people become home, and freedom too. Relationships of mutual support where love is not for one other person, where love is not necessarily a feeling at all, but a desire for a better and more compassionate world.

Music cements my belief that creativity can create positive change. It illustrates my aromantic experience, in the sense that my love is not a specific feeling or label, but a radical force of conviction to create good.

[aromanticgrey]

Aroallogender

When being aroallo influences your gender. It can be used with other gender labels or by itself.

I'm coining this because my whole orientation influences my gender, not only my aromanticism or my sexuality.

I'm also putting this out there in case others may find it relatable and useful.

[12342134135-deactivated20220115]

Aromantic issues and experiences should be able to be talked about outside of the aro community without being lumped in with ace issues. While aro and ace communities do have their similarities, aromantics deserve to have their experiences talked about on their own. Having them not talked about at all, or not talked about unless they’re lumped in with posts about asexuality isn’t good and can be incredibly unhelpful to the aromantic community. While aro and ace solidarity is awesome and something I support to no end (especially as an aro ace person), aromantics deserve to be able to grow as a community without being shoved as a subset of the asexual community or being completely forgotten.

[my-dark-disney-princes]

It was actually particularly unhelpful for me on a personal level and meant I spent more years than I needed to believing I was broken or a terrible person. Because I’m allosexual. I became aware of aromanticism quite a long time ago now, and had a brief spark of hope that it might explain me, but I never saw it mentioned outside of also being asexual, which I categorically knew I wasn’t. So I spent several more years in misery before accidentally stumbling across the split attraction model and realising I could actually be aro without being ace. It changed my life, but it should have happened sooner.

[verilybitchie]

I do not “identify” as nonbinary, I AM nonbinary. I “IDENTIFY” as a bitch.

[cardentist]

hey when we frame the lgbt+ community as a hierarchy of oppression with some groups being definitively more and less oppressed we create an environment where that hierarchy can be exploited in the name of bigotry

exclusionists thrive on the very concept of some people inherently mattering less while conversely being able to frame those people as privileged because it allows them to frame their overt bigotry as activism and self defense as bigotry. and no matter how many times it happens people always fall for it because exclusionists manage to word it in terms that sound reasonable until you understand what they’re actually saying.

“men aren’t oppressed for being men” sounds reasonable until you realize that it’s being said by a terf or being said to insist that trans men don’t face generalized oppression or misogyny. “cishets aren’t oppressed for being cishet” sounds reasonable until you realize that it’s being said to paint a marginalized identity as straight to cover up their oppression and justify bullying.

it happened to bi people, it happened to pan people, it happened to ace people, happened to aro people, it happened to trans women, to nonbinary people, it happened to non-dysphoric trans people, and it’s happening to trans men. and it’s going to keep happening until we’re willing to defend our own and reach out with love and compassion to individuals solely because they, personally, are hurting and we have the ability to help them

the fact that we have people looking at other individuals, people they know nothing about, and telling them that their pain isn’t real or that it doesn’t matter, that their lived experiences don’t matter, because their identity is lesser somehow, because they’re “less oppressed,” is proof enough that any sort of hierarchy, no matter how well intended, can be exploited for pain and violence 

[an-aromatic-aromantic]

something that popped into my head when i realised how many characters i headcanon as aromantic lmao

[notegender]

when you talk about queer love, remember the queer love that isn’t romantic.

queer love can be two best friends who support each other through their transitions and go to pride together each glowing with admiration for the other

queer love can be siblings confiding in each other about the difficulties of growing up queer in a small town and still texting each other every day when they finally move away from home

queer love can be queerplatonic partners caring deeply for each other and redefining what a relationship can be

queer love can be a group of friends who bond in middle school, realize years later they’re all gay, and laugh and smile when they reminisce together about how far they’ve come

queer love can be a community coming together to give food, shelter, and unconditional support to a teenager who’s been rejected by his family and has nowhere to go

queer love can be two mothers supporting their daughter as she changes her name and buys the clothes that truly express her gender for the first time

whatever form it takes, queer love is life-changing and revolutionary. 

[aromantic-aurea]

AUREA - A Guide to Allo Aro Inclusion in A-Spec Communities

With a growing community it is important to keep up with everyone’s wants and needs. Here’s how you can best include alloaros in the fabric of our community.

With a growing community, it is important to keep up with everyone’s wants and needs. Here’s how you can best include alloaros in the fabric of our community.

[aromantic-aurea]

AUREA - My Aroallo Journey

Read about Grey, the aroallo artist, and their journey of self discovery and personal acceptance.

Read about Grey, an aroallo artist, and their journey of self discovery and personal acceptance.

[aromanticgrey]

I wrote this! Go check it out!

[aromantic-aurea]

The Aro Census 2020

The Aro Census is a research project conducted by Aromantic-spectrum Union for Recognition, Education, and Advocacy (AUREA).

This year, AUREA is leading the new Aro Census: a community-wide survey of people on the aromantic spectrum. The purpose of the census is to gain knowledge and through this, a better understanding of the aromantic community.

Participation is limited to persons identifying on the aromantic spectrum. If you are interested in potentially participating, follow the link above for more information.

We’d like to reach aromantic people who aren’t in touch with aro communities through social media, so please share with others who may be interested.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

i feel like this thing where people are going stir-crazy and want something to do less than a week after being explicitly ordered to stay home under threat of disease and death kind of blows a hole in that “if we give people universal basic income everybody will just be lazy and won’t want to work” talking point

[jenroses]

The number of artists, writers and musicians dumping output for free to cheer us up is right there in the “people will do productive things because the things need to be done” department.

[fancyfroggiebeee-deactivated202]

Here's all the pride worms so far!!

[aromagni]

Carnival of Aros: March 2020 Roundup

I hosted March’s Carnival of Aros and now it’s time for the roundup post.  The theme was “Aromanticism and Gender” and there were 5 submission, including my own.  Thanks to everyone who submitted! 

Submissions:

I Redact Myself by Briar

In this post, the author wrote a “prosetry poem” about the untraceability of their journey exploring their gender. 

Females Love by  Mesotablar

In this post, the author wrote about how the expectations of romantic love imposed on girls affected her growing up and how it made her feel disconnected from femininity.

Musings on My Aromanticism and Gender by Raavenb2619 

In this post, the author wrote about how their demigirl-ness aligned with their aromanticism and mentioned relating to female characters who weren’t romantic.

An Unsexed Being (On Being an Asexual, Aromantic, and Agender Person) by chrysanthemumemperor

In this post, the author discusses how xyr aroace and agender identities are intertwined due to not wanting to be sexualized. 

Intersections of Triple-A Identity by Magni

In this post, the author discusses the intersections and parallels of zer aroace and agender identities being centered around not feeling things and mentions identifying with arogender.