wow i love this
One of the truest things I’ve ever heard is that people who say they’re “brutally honest” are more interested in the brutality than the honesty.
Cosimo Galluzzi
occasionally subtle

roma★
KIROKAZE

if i look back, i am lost

titsay
Sweet Seals For You, Always

JBB: An Artblog!

Janaina Medeiros
d e v o n
AnasAbdin
taylor price
will byers stan first human second
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

pixel skylines
dirt enthusiast

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Andulka

Love Begins

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@ashleymew
wow i love this
One of the truest things I’ve ever heard is that people who say they’re “brutally honest” are more interested in the brutality than the honesty.
I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.
The wizard of Oz’s entire solution to having a political rival in the West was ‘oh I’ll just send this random 15 year old to assassinate her’ what
Dumbledore
OH SHIT
fuckin wizards. idk
there it is
An Incomplete List of the Animals my Grandpa brought home over the course of his 67-year marriage to Gandma:
Annabell, a solid white and completely deaf pit bull that used to let mom draw on her belly
The World’s Ugliest Tom Cat, who turned out to be the cuddiest teddy bear of an animal
Cocker spaniel named “Captain”
Stupid, the Cat
Litter of baby raccoons
Three more cats
A completely bald and extremely anxious canary that sang beautifully, but only at 4 AM
Baby Squirrel that grew up in the house and then refused to move out
A Genuine Thoroughbred Racehorse who was a spectacular athelete but had a habit of running races in the wrong direction. Benny turned out to be a terrific trail horse instead.
Turtle
Snapping Turtle
A bucket full of 43 goldfish left over from the fair. Mom counted once they were all in the bathtub in the backyard with the snapping turtle.
Another cocker spaniel named “Major”, who had the tremendous talent of eating green beans silently
Red-tailed hawk he found on the highway, and sucessfully nursed back to health and released.
Dummy, Son of Stupid
Strange, the dog that lived under the porch and only came into the house at night.
An “abandoned” baby deer.
Spooky, an alleged dog.
Joey the parakeet whose tricks were 1. drinking tea out of a tiny cup 2. threatening to peck out people’s eyes 3. wearing hats
A Really Big Toad he found behind the factory, because the other auto workers were discussing using it for target practice. Mr. Grumpity was guardian of the rosebed for several years and granny’s (his mother) favorite animal he ever brought home.
Gretchen, a St. Bernard that had to be shaved from her prior owner’s neglect, and spent a week hiding from sight with such success in the house that they thought she’d run away.
Arson, Burglary and Murder, three frankly adorable little kittens. They did not change the names, much to the regret of the cop who lived three doors down.
Yet another Cocker Spaniel, named “Colonel”
Cardinal (bird)
Canada Goose (Demon)
Once in the nursing home, he had a “pet” 12-point whitetail buck that would come to his window to be fed corn and get headskritches, inexplicably named “Florence”
The marriage only ended because thier time on earth did. He never kept an animal Grandma wouldn’t allow and if anything she was worse about it. She was the one who brought home a tarantula.
Spooky, an alleged dog 😂😂
people who advocate for keeping cats indoors: have legitimate sources and compelling reasons for their position, along with ways to keep indoor cats happy
people who advocate for allowing their cats outdoors: my cat is somehow smarter than every other outdoor cat that has ever died horribly. birds don’t deserve to exist as much as my cat deserves to have fun.
Followed by “I provide zero stimulation for him, I’m never home (and when I do I ignore him) so he’s bored and restless and just goes crazy inside! So he just had to go outside. Nothing else can change.’
Today the lady behind me in line at the grocery store checkout politely tapped my shoulder and when I turned around she motioned toward my giant bundles of kale and asked: “what do you do with your kale? Do you cook with it, or make juice, or…?” And i admitted there in front of god and the world “oh I feed it to my peacocks.” And she just looked so taken aback that I said “I’m sorry that’s not the answer you were hoping for”
And that’s how I learned other people don’t really know what to do with kale either. We’re all pretty sure it’s edible, though.
People are sending me kale recipes like they honestly believe I will try to eat bird food
I’m sorry I’m hung up on the part where op owns peacocks
Purple ones:
And peahens. This one sleeps on a fluffy rainbow unicorn stuffed animal:
Her name is Artemis and she’s allergic to food.
This is Stan. His color morph is called Cameo so I named him Stan Lee:
He’s Artemis’ boyfriend.
They both love kale. I suppose someone’s got to.
OP Tell them I love them!
I love using my incisors to cut and tear & my molars to crush and grind
It’s good to be a complex organism
OP is secretly several trillion bacteria in a trenchcoat.
Aren’t we all
when equipment screens don’t actually pause the game
I WAITED 10 SECONDS FOR THE GIF TO LOAD AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED
an important scene from the help that white people seem to forget
Me: you have a soft kitty tumby….
Cat: PLEASE… PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE… SINCE THE ACCURSED DAY I MET YOU MY LIFE HAS NOT KNOWN PEACE….
nobody:
me when i eat pop rocks:
i can NOT stop thinking about when c.s. lewis introduced a character by saying “his name, unfortunately, was Eustace Scrubb” like BRUH no need to do him dirty like that 😭😭 you GAVE him that name. tf
You forgot he immediately followed it with “and he almost deserved it.”
Shakespeare plays as Onion headlines
Hamlet:
Twelfth Night:
Macbeth:
Julius Caesar:
Titus Andronicus:
Henry IV Part 1:
Two Gentlemen of Verona:
Measure for Measure:
Coriolanus:
Othello:
The Tempest:
The Winter’s Tale:
King Lear:
say what you will about disco but i’ve never once been sad while listening to abba
(⊙ω⊙) → (◉ω◉)