Rock and Roll

Author of the War on the Red Plain series. Fan of SMC, SM, Steven Universe, cute things, quirky things, the MCU, geeks, nature, Japanese stuff, African stuff. ID as bi/pan/somethingsexual 35(!)yr old Black lady geek witch Otherkin...

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A few people really strongly dislike the take (and told me so!) that the gem soul Steven was Pink Diamond, as him. Which I totally get. So I'm definitely *not* going to gloat that Rebecca Sugar dropped a like on this fan art on IG. I'm not going to say a single word about it ;;;;

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Steven Universe:

Essentially, aren’t all babies fusions?

[selene-bunny-deactivated2021011]

Change Your Mind 

I was very excited about this chapter. beautiful fusions, new costumes, many surprises and a beautiful animation in one of the scenes that most impressed me.♥

I really loved doing this fan art a lot ♥

[freakxwannaxbe]

One of my favourite details about this finale has to be how Pearl looks after reforming because it’s so telling of her character growth like

Look at how she starts out, chronologically

While in servitude, bending to her intended purpose, she is dressed in the epitome of femininity. A lovely perky dress, lots of layers, lots of frills. This is what Pearl was intended to be by the system.

Now the more she rebels and starts leaving the system and her purpose behind her, her clothes abandon the classical femininity.

Even in her first known reforming, already she is opting out of it

Her outfit is more practical, she started wearing pants, but there is still a large influence of who she used to be with the dress tunic.

And through her reformations, we see her start losing more and more of that societal expectations of her in the form of her outfits.

But the expectations she puts up for herself are still there, because she can’t help but base her entire sense of self worth around another person (Pink and later on, Rose, and even after that, Steven)

So remnants of what she thinks is expected of her still remain.

Even the clothes she chooses to wear when she picks out human clothes are polar opposites of what the gem society expects her to wear

and of course, the infamous Rebel Pearl outfit, which I am sure is where a good part of her healing really started (because it marked her moving on from Rose), and upon which her current reformation is based on

and the final reformation, which completely abandons the classical femininity, frills and pzazz of the first form she had. She is still very feminine, yes, but in a way that is her own, not in what is thrust on to her by expectations.

This is who Pearl, just Pearl, without having to depend on others, who doesn’t build her entire sense of self around others, is. Her self worth no longer depends on Pink, or Rose, or Steven, or anyone, but herself.

Pearls growth is one of the biggest ones in the show, and it shows so much in how she reforms.

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warpstargazer:

no, its only Steven. he literally screamed shes gone. go rewatch the episode. 

From this post

I just don’t think that’s what we’ve been leading up to... since the moment that we first saw Blue at the ruined palanquin and Pink’s giant tears coming up out of Steven, even though Greg nor Blue’s pearl were affected. A reaction of Pink to missing Blue. 

And then again when the Diamonds were coming back to attack Earth. The first indication the Crystal Gems got was Pink’s tears coming up through Steven.

Pink had her own unresolved storyline, her own unresolved feelings, her own anger towards what had happened to her and those under her care. 

A LOT of Steven Universe has actually been about Pink. How she felt about the Kindergarten, how she felt about humans and organic life, how she felt about herself, how she felt about Homeworld and everything that happened to her there. And how powerful all of these feelings were that they bled through to Steven and became his burden. She wasn’t gone. 

She told White Diamond that Pink was gone because that’s what White Diamond needed to accept. That Steven is who she is now. But reuniting with her son healed both of them, allowed her to move past her hurt and trauma and to let go of the past knowing that she was loved. 

Even in the promo art for Change Your Mind, we see Steven in anguish flashing between Rose Quartz in the same pose and Pink Diamond in the same pose.Unable to move on from the past. Unable to accept what happened. Unable to resolve their trauma and feelings. None of that trauma or feelings belonged directly TO Steven.

But the other thing about Change Your Mind is it’s also a family resolution episode. Blue airs out her feelings to be true to herself. Yellow becomes herself as well. They both confront White who confronts them back. 

The only one left out of this equation is Pink. Steven is not a “stand-in” for Pink. He’s caught in the middle. None of this had anything to do with him. 

The only one who can answer for it and resolve what’s left to resolve is Pink. And she does. She tells White to move on from the past. That failure happened (in White being unable to keep Pink around) and that’s okay. 

It’s Pink’s strength of anger towards White that causes that indentation in the floor, not Steven’s. It was Pink’s tears for Blue and Yellow, and Pink’s anger at White for being a terrible mom. 

[opalite-sunlight-deactivated202]

Steven universe has always done an astounding job at showing what an abusive relationship is whether its romantic abuse platonic abuse or family abuse they have always dealt with it in a breathtaking way.

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I have strong feelings about White Diamond because everything she said to Steven in Change Your Mind (minus the gem-details) I heard from my own npd mother like verbatim That scene needed a trigger warning T_T.... 

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Pink Steven

There’s a lot of ways to interpret the Steven gem soul...

I think that it was Pink Diamond... I also think that it was Steven I think that she is aware, but she also gave up who she is and is now consciously him So, when Pink Steven shows up and is totally emotionless, that hit hard.  Because of everything set up in the rest of the episode. How horrifically abusive her family was to her on Homeworld. Blue and Yellow Diamond demeaning her, throwing her in a literal tower alone when she wouldn’t conform. How invalidating, and painful, and isolating that is.

White Diamond’s inability to “see” her. 

And so much of Pink Diamond’s behavior on Earth came from her core, gut-wrenching desire to simply be seen, heard, known, loved for HER. Not for being a leader, not for being a diamond. That she had her OWN dreams and desires and she ALSO wanted to mix in with people and have equal relationships. She hated hierarchy and rules and conformity. She just wanted to be SEEN. But having not been seen for so long, your emotions sort of die after a while. You can put up a smiling facade as she so often did, playing the clown to the diamonds even when they were mistreating her constantly or encouraging the other crystal gems even as she struggled with her own pain. Her insides didn’t know joy or happiness. She still wanted joy. She still wanted to be seen.  She found a part of that with Greg but even he couldn’t really understand or see her, because he was human. He had no idea what she’d been through or who she was, or who she had to be for everyone everyday. So then Steven is born, and she stops being someone and is him.

But when the gem is taken out of him, I feel like that’s the first time she came back to the surface. She didn’t choose her identity, she chose his identity. But she still carried the pain and isolation of being abused and abandoned and isolated.... until Steven hugged her/himself so tightly around the neck with tears of joy. Then, for the first time, she experienced the pure joy of someone really and truly acknowledging you.

And he was the first person to know her pain, through accessing her memories. The first person to understand her position and identity, by *being* a diamond and a gem himself. He was like her. She was seen. 

Then, she found joy too. 

I think when she/he laughs and dances with human Steven, it’s also Pink Diamond’s own joy at finally finding someone that truly loves her for her, flaws and odd bits, and everything. It’s that joy of knowing tribe and (literal) soul family. Not that the Crystal Gems weren’t that for her... but they all put her on a pedestal or held deeply wrong beliefs about her (through large fault of her own... but also, having been taught that she didn’t matter, why wouldn’t she conceal herself?) This is also the struggle for the abused child returning to wholeness... people can only love you for as much as you’re willing to show them. Even though it may have been drilled into you that that’s unsafe and unwise and undesirable, revealing your flaws and odd bits and everything to another person and having them (with full understanding go) yeah, I get that, and I still love you is the only way to get the joy back. Being seen for who you are.

[bettycrockerscookbook]

Can I just say how deeply I appreciate Steven universe for never pulling punches on female facial expressions and the conveying of emotions because most shows (live action or cartoon) want their female characters to look pretty constantly and in a show full of feminine individuals this is a GREAT standard to have

[margaritasalamedianoche]

This is actually so meaningful, from all the forms that Pink could choose she choose Steven’s. She could be again with her sisters, now trying to have the life that she wanted; she could had picked Rose’s body and be back with the gems and Greg, but no, she choose to fuse with her son again and live through him, the only non selfish, harmless to others and own decision that she had ever made and that’s what she choose, again.

[itsafeelin2]

SEEING THIS HAD ME BROKEN!!!

They were there when everyone got corrupted they witnessed their friends/family having to be bubbled for thousands and thousands of years!! Thinking that they would never find away to get them back. And pearl and garnet were the only original ones left seeing how far they have come together realizing it finally over. It’s just

UGGHHHHHHH

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Steven Coming Back to Himself in Change Your Mind

I originally interpreted Steven’s gem soul as meaning that he has always been Steven

But I also love and feel deeply healed by the alternate interpretation that it is his mom actively choosing to surrender into being him. And that this is the reason for Steven’s happy tears, finally meeting his mom. And maybe the reason for the gem soul’s slow but sure joy, finally meeting her son. But there’s another aspect too that has to do with narcissism and abusive families and healing from that experience. 

A narcissist mother delights in “removing you from yourself.” Nothing is allowed to exist about her except what she deems okay. When White Diamond removes Steven’s gem, an essential core part of who he is, and something that makes him a bright light, it’s a lot like a narcissist mom stamping out the parts of yourself that you most love as well.

Healing from that experience often means finding the parts of yourself, within yourself, that you abandoned because you were told to, and reconnecting. And then it feels like some miraculous coming home. You were loved the whole time (by you), you were whole and worthwhile the whole time. You mattered the whole time. You aren’t “nothing.” You’re a shining light in the world. Everything that was removed from you was a vital and shining part of you.

When Steven is whole again and those tears of wonder and joy are still in his eyes it reminds me of that feeling of coming back to your true wholeness after rediscovering yourself. And then knowing that you are stronger than anyone that would tell you “that part of yourself is wrong,” he’s able to confidently retort to White Diamond “What’s your excuse?” 

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White Diamond in Change Your Mind

White Diamond is a classic narcissist. And narcissists, especially narcissist mothers, demand perfection. They demand this in their children, but they also do not permit themselves to be fully human. They are a facade. They are a shell of what’s actually a fully functioning being.  The ultimate “narcissist injury” is to be humiliated. That is why her embarrassment after Steven says “What’s your excuse?” and her cheeks flushing pink as a result of her feelings totally unravels White Diamond.  It’s a moment I don’t think would actually work with a real narcissist in making them “sane again” but in fantasy, yes, her narcissist injury makes her completely drop her demands. She’s able to see that she is not perfect.  A narcissist injury is one of the few things that can break through the facade, and reveal their “true colors.” For most narcissists they are truly scared, sensitive children inside no older than four or five. They perhaps really just want to be loved and seen like anyone else.  For White Diamond she’s able to immediately connect that they desire for love and perfection and to stop her act can come from other people. For true narcissists in real life they’re unable to make this connection. They know they are in need, but since they never aged emotionally they don’t know how to have this need fulfilled. 

[tall-sanctimonious-rascal]

[they-might-be-bionts]

this might be my favorite scene in the entire series i was actually sobbing

(also can we talk about how fucking smooth the animation is)

[giving-myself-to-ashes]

I absolutely love how the two Stevens fused back together

The pink Steven is the Rose/PD half of Steven while what’s left of Steven is just the human half

The dance they do together

Human Steven is dancing on PD Steven’s feet, just like a kid would do dancing with their parent

He’s finally meeting his mother and they’re dancing together

I love it

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Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh All my tears ;_;....

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Change Your Mind

Animation and design references - The happy cry Steven does with his soul is a ref to Disney's the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Peridot (and Garnet's) new shades are refs to Gurren Lagann I'm having trouble with where the giant mech is a ref to, torn between a mix of the giant fight in Paprika and Attack on Titan and Naruto... The empty eyes, the stance of the body, I'm thinking Paprika though I could be wrong. What do you think? I've watched Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame so many times every cel is etched into my mind