Ask General Zod

Greetings, planet Houston. I am General Zod, and this is my contribution to what you humans call...Tumblr. Here you may share all of your inquiries about my greatness, and I in turn will enlighten you all in the ways of your soon-to-be leader. So ask your questions! Broaden your intellect as faithful slaves! And most importantly...KNEEEEEEL!!!

[pink-sativa]

I’m sorry, this gem was too good to pass up.

[ask-general-zod]

[[Mod has seen this before, I believe in a behind-the-scenes character discussion on a Smallville DVD. Still unbelievably funny tho. XD]]

[ask-general-zod]

Mod Note: I can explain everything! ...Actually, no I can't.

It seems I've taken something of an insanely long hiatus. Three days from a month of one, to be exact. And I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. Sorry because I know we're in the middle of some storyline stuff, and sorry because I know I just HAD a big hiatus a few months ago. One longer than this one, but still.

So why the Hell have I been so absent lately? ...I can't really say. I know, it's one other thing for me to be sorry over. But the fact is my reasons for being busy are complicated and personal, and as much as I adore everyone I've met on this website, I'm just not sure if I quite know anybody here well enough to talk about certain things so openly. What I can tell you is that my mind has been way too occupied to deal with my tumblr rp. And also that I will be coming back to it. Ideally tomorrow. Definitely at some point this week.

And don't worry about the storyline stuff either. I'll figure out why Zod took so long to walk downstairs. In fact, I may be getting an idea for that even as I'm writing this. To be continued, true believers...

...and again, really, REALLY sorry.

[ask-general-zod]

Have you ever considered the possibility of time travel?

The concept has crossed my mind once or twice, and suffice to say if the science was ever proven to be possible I would most certainly take advantage of it. For what, I know not. But it would probably come in handy for something.

Nonetheless, I’d hardly call it a high priority of mine. Least of all right now.

[asklinksano]

[ask-general-zod]

If I may be so blunt, scientist, what I would prefer most of all is to just go ahead and have him “released” from this place already. It’s what he wants, after all, and would most appreciate. And all this meaningless conversation is frankly getting old....

[ask-general-zod]

*is quiet for a moment, before standing up*

I'll go talk to him again.

[ask-general-zod]

"It's really cold here." A little bird girl had somehow gotten in.

[[Just a reminder to all RPers and question-askers that Zod is not currently at the fortress of solitude. A good thing to keep in mind is all.]]

[ask-general-zod]

Well... I might have at one point considered the possibility of joining Terl's army...

You did what?

Minion: *trembles*

Of all the low-down, double crossing…

Hear me, all of you! Nobody here is joining Turl under any circumstances! He doesn’t rule your planet! I do! Do well for your own sakes to remember that!

[ask-general-zod]

My lord, it seems that General Terl is forming an army of his own. Shall we interfere or do you wish to take care of this nuisance on your own?

Oh, Turl has an army now? Well, goodness me, that is serious! Why, we better do something before his cunning wit and forces take us all over!

Please.

The day that Psyclown actually manages to affect my rule negatively through intention will be the day I truly am not fit to rule squat. So that’s how much you need to worry, dear Houstonians. Turl has an army…phuh. Who would even want to join him anyway?

[ask-general-zod]

*stares incredulously*

What are you, one of my anons???

…

You’re not, are you?

[ask-insano]

Zod, we have BETTER things to do here, than sending you questions or any of the other things you get from your anons. Trust me.

But, if you DON’T want to do what Linksano here suggested, what will you do instead, O so glorious leader? Enlighten us!

[ask-general-zod]

If I may be so blunt, scientist, what I would prefer most of all is to just go ahead and have him "released" from this place already. It's what he wants, after all, and would most appreciate. And all this meaningless conversation is frankly getting old. Zod does not talk! He acts!

But barring that...I suppose I could offer to bribe him with something else...answers, possibly, to his oh-so mysterious past. Or maybe a robot hooker. It depends on the mood he's in.

[ask-general-zod]

hey how you doing lil mama lemme whisper in yo ear~.

*sprays an anon*

[ask-general-zod]

See, *a disembodied voice says next to your ear,* Anon powers are awesome! I’ll see you latter Zod but will you see me? *The voice disappears.*

Wha…

Okay, that does it! You guys seriously need to spray for anons! I did back at the fortress, it worked wonders!

[asklinksano]

[ask-general-zod]

Okay, fine. So I’ll talk to him.

But about what? Just having another conversation that goes nowhere isn’t going to do any good! There has to be an actual plan involved!

[asklinksano]

Tell him the truth.

Or, as much of the truth as he CAN know. Give him a choice between FREEDOM and...

[ask-general-zod]

*stares incredulously*

What are you, one of my anons???

...

You're not, are you?

[ask-general-zod]

How would you vaporize me? You don’t have heat vision. Besides you might have super speed but you’ll never find me unless I let you. I could just use me anon powers and I’d be untraceable. *Suddenly she disappears before your very eyes*

…

What just happened??

[ask-general-zod]

I guess you just have to hope no industrious anon decides to tell Mechakara the truth. :)

*pfft!* You don’t have to worry about that, Houstonian. Mechakara has learned not to listen to you.

[ask-general-zod]

Well, he has all that processing space that isn't being used for memory, so he's probably smarter now. Mechakara, that is.

And I'm saying it doesn't matter how smart he is, if he doesn't know anything. Zod, I feel like I'm just talking to myself sometimes...

[ask-general-zod]

Do you actually think you can outsmart Mechakara? He's got, like, a brain the size of a planet, if it was mapped out.

It’s true that he’s got cunning. But what can he possibly do with what little he has? Especially considering his current state of mind…

[ask-general-zod]

What do you think of Neil Patrick Harris?

I think people need to seriously stop saying I’m talking about him when I’m not.

Even if I were saying what you think I’m saying!

HE’S NOT THE ONLY NEIL ON HOUSTON!!!

[ask-general-zod]

Hello General Zod. Last night I had a nightmare that I forgot to call you General Zod and just called you Zod. This made you angry and you were going to kill me until I called you Lord Zod and this pleased you. However, you were still angry at me and so you stole my favourite soft toy to teach me a lesson. Please don’t steal my toy.

I would never steal your toy, Houstonian. I would merely vaporize you.

So don’t skip the formalities. Ever.