conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 48 (masterpost here)
Dick: who's on tonight? i'm bored.
Jason: all of us but Red, he's with the titans for the weekend. what are you doing?
Dick: i'm supposed to be focusing on tailing this guy for my case, but it's so dull.
Bruce: *grunt* the worst part of the job.
Dick: *hums in agreement* what are you guys up to?
Bruce: there's a shipment at the docks we're tracking.
Jason: yeah not gonna lie B, i've not been paying attention for like, the past twenty minutes. i found a newspaper on the ground and the clickbait got me.
Damian: what does it say?
Jason: coupla' good Brucie Wayne appearances. think it's from a couple weeks ago, that party where 'Brucie' got drunk and started strip-dancing with that statue.
Bruce, irritated: oh for the love of- Hood,
Dick: *laughs* the consequences of your own actions, B-man!
Jason: they got photos n' everythin--you really need to stop doing this when there's press around, B.
Dick: you- honestly B, you have got to be like, objectively, the worst influence we could have. you're ruining us with your sluttery.
Bruce, teeth gritted: it. is. a. necessary. measure.
Dick: *laughs louder* it's not, though,
Damian: honestly, he isn't even the worst influence me and Hood have. just count yourself lucky you didn't grow up around my grandfather, Nightwing.
Jason: *snickers* that's actually a fair point. Brucie may have humped a statue but Ra's was a way worse influence. way more chaotic.
Dick: ok but that's completely different. Brucie is a shit influence in the recreational way, Ra's is just insane and murderous.
Damian: *huff of laughter* well,
Jason: yeah... Wing... i hate to break it to you, but not even Brucie gets a leg up on Ra's recreationally.
Bruce: can we please stop saying my name in-mask?!
Dick, instant: no hush B, i need to hear this; what do you mean?
Damian: Nightwing, the Demon's Head is a man with a lot of power in a lot of corners of the earth. he may not show up to public clubs, but he's still a man of entertainment.
Jason: that man has access to psychedelic drugs not even discovered in America yet. do you know how fucked up you have to be to be over 600 years old and still deciding to get shirtless so you can fight a crocodile in your personal reflection pond? do you?
Dick, in slight awe: ...wait he actually did that?
Bruce: *snaps* stop sounding interested.
Damian: to be fair it can't be that surprising that he was a little inebriated. did you honestly think he was sober when my mother came home one day and said 'i found Batman's dead son. i'm gonna dip him in the pit and then set him loose on the compound to see what happens.'
Jason: *abrupt cackles* that's- aha fuck, yeah ok that's fair- man *wheeze* fuck,
Dick: ...now that i think about it that is wild.
Jason: *wheeze* yeah, like how high do you think he must have been to hear that and then been like 'fuck yeah, let's see what he does--better yet, lets give him the All-Blades and make him an heir. THAT will be cool to watch play out, right?' this man was faded,
Bruce: Ra's Al Ghul is not a man we should be talking about fondly, may i remind you three.
Jason: aw, he's jealous because yet another aspect of his parenting role has been taken by somebody else.
Bruce, sharp: no, i'm not.
Damian: he sounds like he's crying.
Dick: -yeah it's ok to cry B, we won't judge,
Bruce: i hate all of you.