cum. slut.

@asrafoxxx

This is where all my pics are going now, I guess.

38.2K posts

gen-z-culture-is

Gen Z culture is everyone in class quoting the same vine at the same time and confusing the hell out of the teacher

I want to shower you in love and affection if that’s cool with you

i want to shower you in love and affection if that’s cool with you

^Haiku^bot^7. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | Who do I read? | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Selfie | Meep morp! Zeet!

a job interview but with the lasso of truth

“why are you interested in this job?”

“my degree is getting me nowhere in life and I need to survive so I’m applying for this position that I’m not even interested in.”

how about a lasso of truth for the interviewer instead?

“the last person in this position left because this company wrings work out of people like they’re dishrags”

“you seem cheaper to pay than the other candidates, we’re going to offer you less”

“we need a self-starter who can work independently because your manager will be a shithead who gives no guidance and leaves at 2pm every day, that we can’t fire because he golfs with the board of directors”

“you’re definitely the right candidate, but i don’t want to hire you because i think you’ll get pregnant”

“we added a requirement for an MA degree to a job that could be performed by a high school graduate with a couple weeks of training because we were trying to screen out people from poor backgrounds”

“honestly? we just need someone who can withstand verbal abuse”

What does my cat think when I kiss his little head? Does he know it’s affection or does he think I’m trying to eat him

softly-speaking-valkyrie

These questions are totes why I follow you, top quality content right here

It’s important!

Well it depends. Do you try to put ketchup on him before kissing his head, that would change things :P

Yes. I put ketchup on my cat before I kiss his head.

Fun bit of info!

Kitties rub their heads against their chosen people as a method of scent marking, but not of ownership. Instead, they’re getting their scent on you because they know that you’re a family, but you smell “Funny” compared to them. They’re trying to make you smell like their family.

If your cat allows you to kiss their little head, it’s because they’re accepting -your- scent, and being part of your family.

Ketchup included.

This is a good note, thank you

rutabegaville-blog

This why they boop you. :)

ephuyrie-deactivated20180427

Fact:

In animals that have communal grooming as part of their behavior, sticking your face in their face for kisses/boops doesn’t bother them at all because they know you’re not going to eat them.

But, with frogs (and other animals you shouldn’t be putting your mouth on) that do not have communal grooming there’s a high chance their first reaction will be “plz don’t eat me” before realizing you do not mean them any harm.

Also; if you accidentally step on a cat or a dog, or accidentally pinch/hurt a smaller pet and after they squeak or yelp you start petting them and trying to reassure the animal that you weren’t trying to hurt them they’ll understand that. Puppies and kittens get a little too rough with their play, but when a litter-mate ends up squeaking because they got hurt the puppy or kitten will stop playing so roughly and switch to kisses/licks as a way to apologize before they go back to playing.

When humans act the same way, and do not hurt them again it registers as “oh that wasn’t on purpose” and the animal quickly forgives you.

It’s the animal equivalent of “Don’t tell Mom!”

This is also good to know, thank you!

ifthepantheonallows

Also, if your dog is playing too roughly and hurts you, yelp. The dog will apologize and realize “let’s not be so rough” and thus will play gentler from then on

I wish that worked on my cat xD

My cats (well, Tosh at least) seemed to grasp the meaning of “Ow!” because when he gets too rough and I say that he’ll usually switch to a bit of licking. Like, “Oops, sorry about that, got carried away.”

sufferingsappho-deactivated2017

Like, 90% of infomercial style products were designed by/for disabled people, but you wouldn’t know that, because there is no viable market for them. THey have to be marketted and sold to abled people just so that any money can be made of off them and so the people who actually need them will have access.

I think snuggies are the one example almost everyone knows. They were invented for wheelchair users (Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a coat on and off of someone in a wheelchair? Cause it’s PRETTY FUCKIN HARD.) But now everyone just acts like they’re some ~quirky, white people thing~ and not A PRODUCT DESIGNED TO MAKE PEOPLES DAY TO DAY LIVES 10000X EASIER.

But if at any point you were to take your head out of your own ass and go “Hey, who would a product like this benefit,” that would be really cool.

This makes informational make so much sense now.

Like… of course there’s no reason for that guy to knock over that bowl of chips. However, the person it was actually designed for has constant hand tremors that would make this pretty rad, but since we don’t want to show that in a commercial, here’s an able bodied guy who can’t remember how gravity works.

Shit. Those commercials suddenly get a lot less funny when you realize it’s pretty much just people ineptly trying to mimic disability.

xtremecaffeine-deactivated20181

Or like the thing for the eggs? Like, oh, it cracks eggs perfectly, you only need one hand? IT WAS DESIGNED FOR PEOPLE WHO ONLY HAVE THE USE OF ONE HAND. Or the juice bottle pourer? For people who’re TOO LAZY TO POUR THEIR OWN JUICE? Or FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIFFICULTY BEARING WEIGHT IN THE HANDS.

It’s amazing how with just a few words by a few people, my whole perspective on something can shift entirely.

fumblingcuriosities

I feel so ignorant for never having realized this before.

robotsandfrippary

Most people I know who own infomercial products are elderly, disabled and poor.

thank you - best public service announcement I have seen in a really long time

deactivated-blog

Floral boys

wildeismsremade-deactivated2019

@indigopersei is the french language just always on the verge of getting someone accused of assault or..?

my friend, if only you knew

randomfandomteacher

It’s a very dangerous language to learn

party-bees-deactivated20181211

Here’s an interesting thing about French! Everything needs to have an article in front of it. That’s why it’s “la chat” as opposed to just “chat”. So, for instance, you could say la fille for the girl, or jeune fille for young girl, but you can’t just say fille, because that means you are calling her a sex worker in a derogatory way.

The moral of the story is, if you want to make something rude in French, just take out the article in front of it. Yes, this works for nearly. every. word.

#now I’m wondering how often my high school french teacher was silently screaming because of this little fact

Every year. Every year there’s that kid who forgets that you can’t translate “I am excited” to “Je suis excitée”. And every year Monsieur Jordan has to slam the brakes before that kid can finish his sentence and then tactfully ask him not to announce to the class that he is horny.

“is the french language always on the verge” oh buddy, oh pal, i am so happy to break this news to you:

truly the language of love

now this is the quality fluff I’m looking for

ultracrispytaco-deactivated2015

stuffingkit-deactivated20180215

what a fucking queen

I’m laughing too much at this…

thepkmnprofessor-deactivated201

my hero

amazing face girl, if you’re out there, please update us. How have things been in the last nearly six years? are you still photobombing? Are you living your best life?

Sometimes it feels like I am just shouting at the void

she’s a good listener though

Me

Granny: No printer, just fax!

reasons to love harrison ford

1. hates donald trump 2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not 3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN 4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars 5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him 6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions 7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved 8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed” 9. arguably sexy 10. points angrily and its super effective

11. is just a really sweet person 12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy 13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers 14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday 15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet

this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god

thecarrisonfiles

Awwwww

where-are-your-source-citations

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”

When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.

My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.

And he paid rent to live there the entire time.

angremlin-deactivated20250312

Local Carpenter Stumbles Into Stardom, Worries This May Interfere With His Carpentry

My step sister was driving through Wyoming once, near Ford’s ranch. She stops for gas, and as she’s filling up, this huge motorcycle roars in behind her, scared the pants off her. The rider, dressed in all black steps off, and she yells at him “who do you think you are blasting in here like that, you Darth Vader looking motherfucker?”. He takes off the helmet, and it’s Harrison Ford, and without missing a beat he says

“Hey! I’m not Darth Vader, I’m Luke Skywalker”

estebanwaseaten

From the co-production designer on The Force Awakens, Darren Gilford:

“The Millennium Falcon was the first thing we were actually building. I had been in London and I came home back to L.A. for Christmas. So I go to Sports Chalet to do some last-minute shopping; I get there early, run to the back of the store, get what I need. I’m coming back through the store, and I just happen to pass this person holding up a pair of ski pants, and it’s Harrison Ford. I look at him, he looks at me and puts his head right down. I can tell he doesn’t want to be bothered; I’m sure from the look on my face he knew I knew who he was.

So I walk past him, and after about 10 feet I think, ‘If there’s ever a time to say hello to Harrison Ford, I’m building the Millennium Falcon!’ So I turn around very hesitantly and go, ‘Harrison, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m co-production designer on the new Star Wars, I’m just back from London, and I’ve been building the Falcon.’ A big smile came across his face, he put his hand out, and we had such a great conversation — he couldn’t have been sweeter.

As I’m walking away, he goes, ‘Darren!’ and calls me back. He goes, ‘The toggle switches.’ I go, ‘Toggle switches.’ He goes, ‘The toggle switches on the Falcon. When they built it the first time, they bought cheap toggle switches without any springs in them. Every time I threw a toggle switch, it fell back; it wouldn’t hold. It drove me crazy. Please, make sure the toggle switches are fixed this time.’ I go, ‘No problem! I’ll take care of it!’

So months go by, I’m back in London, we’re getting close [to principal photography], and I get a phone call saying J.J.’s headed down to check out the cockpit, and Harrison’s with him. I run down there and I see J.J. in the passenger seat and Harrison in the pilot seat. They’re just giddy; they’re having so much fun. And then I see Harrison look up, and he just starts throwing all the toggle switches: boom, boom, boom, boom. [Laughs.] And I remember thinking, ‘Phew, minor victory. Take solace in that and move on. Next task.’ That’s my favorite story.”

HARRISON FORD SMILES WHEN MEETING CREW MEMBERS AND IS A NERD FOR FUNCTIONING PRODUCTION DESIGN

livebloggingmydescentintomadness

Don’t forget about his Halloween costumes

Harrison ford is a chaotic-good-aligned cryptid, confirmed

thefoxconfessor

mom snapped!!!

celinedijonmustard-deactivated2

fuckyeahwomenfilmdirectors

Director Lexi Alexander outs herself as Shitty Men In Media List Creator

The list first began circulating last fall not long after the New York Times published its exposé on Harvey Weinstein on October 5, the Shitty Men in Media list spotlighted men in Big Apple circles. Naming names, allegations on the list went from “inappropriate communication” to rape. In a tone of transparency, the list also noted that some of the details it contained were “rumors” and should be taken as such.

The announcement came after revelations that writer Katie Roiphe had been researching the originator of the list for a piece planned for Harper’s March issue. The move was widely criticized with many writers and editors encouraging writers to pull their pieces from Harper’s in order to protest the piece and protect the name of the creator.

fuckyeahwomenfilmdirectors

UPDATE: Lexi is not the originator of the piece but is one of many women claiming credit in order to protect the true identity of the originator.

The ”No, I’M Spartacus” approach?

That’s a bold and risky move, and I offer all respect to the women involved.

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