keysmash & garden snake

Side blog. I’m gay and I curse in the tags. Someone asked if this is a thirst blog bc of the url and I’m here to assure you that 98% of the time it isn’t. Like, categorically

[mestruazioni]

just realized michael sheen is gonna have to shave his beard and now I'm a little heartbroken

[anthonyandaziraphale]

Idea: what if he doesn’t

[anthonyandaziraphale]

Another idea: what if the reason they’re facing away from us in the promo photo is because he has a beard

[kandyarts-the-squeakquel]

[neige0413]

[thepastelpeach]

this first pic was suggested over on my patreon(ugly christmas sweaters), the rest kinda spiraled from there

bonus ngk:

[the-art-of-avoiding-armageddon]

Poof

[flameraven]

Please enjoy this bit of festive silliness

[thistlearts]

Merry Christmas Ineffable fandom!

[babel-of-screaming-sounds-deact]

Crowley’s neck chain appreciation. Sadly, I almost never see it used in art or fanfic.

The most unfortunate thing, however, is that I don’t see it in NSFW fanfic, which is a great oversight, I think.

[sidetrek]

An alternate take on the 60′s scene :’) This was done for Eturni in the OLHTS holiday gift exchange.  They were also one of the organizers of said event, so thanks for all the hard work! patreon.com/sidetrek

[spockgirl]

aziraphale and castiel could NOT hang out bc aziraphale is a snob and cas knows fucking nothing about high culture spends all his time with two guys who definitely made him watch south park and has never been to a nicer restaurant than MAYBE ruby tuesday’s. working class angel hero. sorry about this post

[lazarusemma]

#aziraphale: ah don't you remember seeing this opera when it was new? #castiel who literally spent three hours researching neopets bc of one reference dean made: is opera singing #crowley keeps inviting cas over because he finds it fucking hilarious how mad aziraphale gets #'how can he NOT know michelangelo personally?! darling how can he not ?!' #castiel: they wouldn't let me out of heaven for a while idk what to tell you. can we go to applebee's. #crowley: SURE. LET'S TAKE AN ANGEL OF THE LORD TO APPLEBEE'S. AZIRAPHALE THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE @lovelyirony​

[valtoon]

nanny ashtoreth but with lines from the cat in the hat movie i thought fit pretty well

[robhickeyy]

crowley tries and fails to be chill constantly

[mostweakhamlets]

*pulls a piece of paper out of a hat* ... ineffable wives *spins a wheel* ... roller derby au

What if they're on competing teams and Aziraphale knocks the shit out of Crowley and stops the tournament bc "Oh no I went too hard again" and Crowley looks like she's not getting back up. And while the medics are looking at her, Crowley learns that Aziraphale’s nickname is "angel" bc she's their strongest but also very nice

[askazicro]

[naniiebimworks]

Turn of the Century Crowley

Shirtwaist Crowley

Edwardian Crowley is from @summerofspock ‘s Fic- An Angel’s temptation-

NOTE THE TAGS!!

[wheeloffortune-design]

ok so snakes don’t need to lick things to smell them- they just need to put their tongues out. imagine crowley sniffing something new (like Aziraphale’s new cologne) and the human nose being insufficient, he just wanders around with his tongue out, looking like an idiot, until he finds the source of the smell. 

[ineffablefool]

For best smell-finding, bleleleling is important.  So he’d probably be doing that.

[wheeloffortune-design]

Yes. Excellent addition. You are hired. 

[marlynnofmany]

When the new cologne is a good one:

When the new cologne is Not Good:

[kedreeva]

The tongue itself also isn’t the receptor for scent, it had to be drawn back into the mouth to basically wipe the scent molecules off on their Jacobson’s organ. So he’d be walking around sticking his tongue out, doing the blelelele, and then putting his tongue back in for consideration. Over and over.

Blelelele

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

recently learned about a horticultural technique called Espalier, it’s the funniest goddamn thing i’ve ever seen.

Espalier allows trees to be trained into 2-dimensions, by tying the branches to a flat surface as the tree grows. They literally flatten the tree. They make the tree flat. Flat tree!!!

Look at this. This is objectively hilarious:

And people get fancy about it. Look at this nonsense:

(the first one’s called a Belgian Fence, and can be used as an actual fence)

Espalier is actually a very useful technique for

increasing fruit yield

gardening is small spaces

maximizing or minimizing sunlight (since the branches all face the same direction) and therefore extending the growing season

Like. this is a legitimately practical gardening method. but it looks like they squished a tree between the pages of a book. just squashed it flat like a sad little dried flower! i could use these trees as a bookmark!!!

But yes, it is also a healthy and clever way to grow lots of fruit in small spaces, in climates they might not otherwise be suited for. I’m still going to make fun of it, but it honestly looks delightful and delicious.

Espalier!

[captain-snark]

anyone else thinking of Crowley/Aziraphale’s south downs cottage having an entire plant fence that just spells out something naughty. 

[mistysblueboxstuff]

a quick sketchy Michael