An Assortment of Thoughts and Passions.

I'm kind of nerdy but not really. I enjoy nerdy humor and all good things. I am not a big fan of food and One Direction. Oh, and I think photography is awesome.

[raineblade-deactivated20141025]

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(I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)

Me: “So, what will it be?”

Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”

(There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)

Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”

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The Dare.

I remember it clearly as if it was yesterday,

Even though it has been six years since that May.

At church, our hands brushed and we pulled apart as if on cue,

For what would happen if our mothers knew?

The emails expressing our love for each other in simple “I love you”s,

Believing that this was a match made in heaven, not for us to choose.

Do you still remember that game of truth or dare,

When my cousin thought it’d be funny to give it a little flair?

That supposedly harmless game,

Now turned into one that shames.

A cunning smile,

A dare so vile.

“Kiss her,” he chuckled;

My knees buckled.

You leaned in to kiss me,

Following that decree.

With that, I ran away,

I knew that I couldn’t stay.

I was too young, too shy;

Not yet ready for a guy.

You were determined to finish that dare,

Not knowing with that our friendship may tear.

So, I kept my distance,

Ignored your persistence.

  But our parents sat us three together,

Leaving me at the end of my tether.

Crammed in the backseat,

I could not retreat.

I squirmed and jerked,

Never had I thought I would be this irked.

You shifted forward,

And I backward.

There was no escape;

My head touched the drape.

You kissed me,

Face filling with glee.

Far from my idealized first kiss,

This brought me no bliss;

Not romantic,

Slightly frantic.

Once, I wished I could undo this kiss,

But time has taught me to be remiss.

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For you a thousand times over.

Hassan (The Kite Runner)

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Because I'm a wild child sitting on my throne, going all out, going for broke.

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PLEASE LET KITTY BE KATIE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. RYDER AND KITTY ARE THE CUTEST.

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is it just me or does anyone think that sophia grace is really annoying and always stealing the spotlight from rosie? i've never heard rosie sing. like not even once.

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4-8yr Olds Describing Love.

Rebecca, age 8: When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.

Terri, age 4: Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.

Danny, age 7: Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.

Nikka, age 6: If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.

Elaine, age 5: Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.

Chris, age 7: Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.

Mary Ann, age 4: Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

[anaeolist]

this has definitely been done about 3000 times already

[karadvrs]

[trenchcoatsexual-deactivated201]

books that make more sense:

A Guide to Speaking English, by Sofia Vergara

A Guide to Not Dying, by Dean Winchester

A Guide to Making Friends, by Sherlock Holmes

A Guide to Pop Culture Movie References, by Castiel

A Guide to Dancing, by Stephen Hawking

A Guide to Singing, by Helen Keller

A Guide to Driving, by London Tipton

A Guide to Being Stupid, by Bill Nye

A Guide to Abstinence, by Tiger Woods

need i go on

(x)

[bookerdewittless]

A Guide to Healthy Relationships, by Taylor Swift

A Guide to News Reporting by Fox

A Guide to Being Gay, by Straight People

A Guide to Being Poor, by Bill Gates

A Guide to Presidency, by Mitt Romney

A Guide to Being Funny by Seth MacFarlane

[hashtagquantumlock-deactivated2]

A Guide to Being the Best Blog on Tumblr, by TheAbsoluteMostFunniestPosts

[gayerthanthefourthofjuly]

A Guide to Not Losing Companions, by The Doctor

A Guide to Feminism, by Glenn Beck

A Guide to Building Bridges, By Bowser

[francebeforeyourpantsmarius-dea]

A Guide to Successful Revolutions, by Enjolras

[detectivejakeperalta]

A Guide to Celibacy, by Noah Puckerman

A Guide to Being The Damsel In Distress, by Hermione Granger

A Guide to Having A Clean Record, by Lindsay Lohan

A Guide to Birth Control, by Bella Swan

A Guide to Bladder Control, by Jennifer Lawrence

A Guide to Homophobia, by Darren Criss

A Guide to Being Dull, by Ellen Degeneres

A Guide to Continuity, by Glee

A Guide to Healthy Expression of Anger, by Tom Riddle

A Guide to Being Short, by Jared Padalecki

A Guide to Maturity, by Team Starkid

A Guide to Potions, By Harry Potter

A Guide to Being Mean, by Liam Payne

A Guide to Social Adequacy, by Katniss Everdeen

A Guide to Innocence, by Tumblr

A Guide to Heterosexuality, by Blaine Anderson

A Guide to Being Nice, by Adolf Hitler

A Guide to Cutting Tomatoes, by Benedict Cumberbatch

[fivefinelines-deactivated201409]

A Guide to Winning an Oscar, by Leonardo DiCaprio

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I'm waking up. I feel it in my bones, enough to make my systems blow. Welcome to the new age.

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I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you. But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide.

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revolting-mormons:

you can swoon now 

 :D 

#youknowit 

No, because this is not nerdy or cute at all.

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Emma: You give me premature ventricular contractions.

Adam: I'm assuming that's a good thing.

Emma: You make my heart skip a beat.

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Obama must've watched a looooot of Bob the Builder.

Jordan Taylor (blimeycow)