AstralAutism @astralautism1 - Tumblr Blog

~ " You are the Grand Designer, Revel in our Unrest " ~

~ Unperson, Nothing But Thieves (intro under cut)

#Autism #audhd #adhd #depression #csid #congenital sucrose isomaltese deficiency #ocd #plural #plurality #questioning system #Endo safe

I love my parents and I don’t like complaining about how they raised me because they did everything in their power to give me a happy and good life and they did. But there are somethings I’m learning now as an adult that they never did for me that is just like. Cmon man.

For instance, I realized I was never taught how to clean a brush or comb. It didn’t even like register to me that I would need to clean them until recently when my not cleaning them was causing my hair to get really greasy after I showered and brushed.

So I asked my mom “how come we never clean our brushes?”

Her response to that was “I clean my brushes every week.”

So then I’m confused. “Why did you never show me how to clean my brushes?”

And then she says “well I didn’t think you cared about being clean.”

Like please tell me I’m not the only person who sees how bullshit that is? I was a kid I didn’t know it needed to be cleaned!! I know it’s embarrassing and I’m stupid for not realizing that brushes needed to be cleaned sooner but like I can’t rlly blame myself because my parents just automatically assumed that I just. Idk preferred to be gross and have greasy hair?? Like fuck man that was just. Really hurt me. And then she got mad at me when I told her that it hurts me to know she thinks I just don’t care about being clean. She knows hygiene is a genuine struggle for me and yet she just doesn’t care.

But this idea of them thinking I ‘didn’t care’ or ‘wouldn’t do it’ or ‘didn’t want to know’ is so persistent. They didnt bother to put together any sort of college fund because they decided to believe me in kindergarten that I didn’t want to go to college. They explicitly said they could and started too but stopped when I ‘made it clear I wasn’t going to do it’ BITCH I WAS SX!! WHY DID YOU LISTEN TO A SIX YEAR OLD!!

There’s so many things I find that they just never bothered to even mention to me because they just assumed I would be adverse to it, snd when I tell them that’s not the truth they get mad at me. Yet they don’t realize that they never even gave me the chance to be advswrse to anything because they just never showed me. They never taught me shit.

They just assumed I wanted to be lazy before I ever made that choice. They assumed I wanted to be gross before I ever made that choice. And then wondered why I was like that, and belittled me for it.

#tw parental issues #parent issues #vent

cat-skull

imo the term "walkable" in "walkable cities" should be understood to mean "wheelchair accessible" as well, not just literally "possible to walk in". the act of walking in a city doesn't automatically make it walkable

#maybe something like a mobile city #or just accessible city

lupusbaby

Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

goth-princess-gwennie

Forgive me if this is inappropriate but

So are

colostomy bags

Diapers

insulin pumps

Oxygen systems

Braces

queen-mihai

You know what? You're exactly right!

astralautism1

Hot take but I’d rather someone smell bad or look unappealing in public then them not leave the house at all. You never know why someone has poor hygiene and I’m tired of this notion that you’re worthless if you aren’t taking care of yourself 110%. If you want to or need to leave the house but you aren’t ‘clean’ I’d rather you get out while dirty then stay inside shaming yourself about cleanliness. It’s ok to be seen and you deserve to be respected even jf ur not clean. Not clean people should be allowed outside without ridicule. You don’t know why they aren’t clean.

#i don't really give a damn about anything except washing/cleaning hands tbh #that's the big one that affects public health #<< MAJOR POINT #that is the one thing like. idc if you leave the house smelly as shit looking greasy or dirty idc but PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS #and if you can wear a mask please do.#public health and safety is so important

callmemanatee

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

crippy-tangerine

"mental health awareness month" falls short for me honestly. I'm sick of these half hearted, psychiatry-focused posts where people reel off a list of symptoms and tack on "and we deserve to be treated equally anyways" at the end. Consider: I'm Mad and I want people to stop being oppressed for their Madness.

I want people to stop being forced into hospitals and stripped of their autonomy.

I want people to stop being backed into a corner where they feel their only options are homelessness or suicide.

I want people to stop being murdered via their monetary benefits being cut, even though they desperately need them.

I want mentally ill, Mad and neurodivergent people to be supported in all areas of their life and enabled to live in the community. Not locked away in institutions.

I get that we need people to understand mental health better. But so much of this month is people watering down inclusion and equity to mean "Mad people should just stop being visibly Mad and then they can be accepted".

So. I don't know. "Mental health awareness month" falls so fucking flat for me. I don't want to assimilate, I want to be respected as an autonomous being and enabled to live a good life. Not fed another platitude about how "CBT will definitely help this time, trust, you just need to do it for a fifth time and try harder to get better!".

(Hey. Maybe that's just my experience. But I'm very tired already.)

this-is-physi-sensory-ableism

People really don't think about how isolating it is to have a sexual, urogenital, reproductive, or gastrointestinal disability.

If you have sexual dysfunction, its considered a taboo, a hush-hush condition, something to never be spoken of. A failure, a humiliation.

All of the "can't get them wet", "can't get them to orgasm," "can't get it up in bed", "only lasts two minutes in bed" jokes, dismissing the real people with sexual dysfunction, the real people struggling. How do you think they feel, hearing these "jokes"?

If you have fertility complications, it's considered something to be pitied for, a "failure of a man", "failure of a woman", "failure of a person", a "waste of your genetic line."

If you have complications with urination or defecation, it's considered gross or belittling. Nobody wants to hear about it, nobody wants to acknowledge it, and God forbid you have an accident in public - then everyone's eyes are on you, judging or pitying.

And menstrual & perinatal disabilities just aren't taken seriously. If you have debilitating menstrual cycles, for example, its brushed off as "typical" or "an exaggeration."

-Tom (he/him)

To anyone with a service animal, or has a family who does this same thing— I need some advice:

My parents have always been the kind of people who think they can just register their animal as an ESA and then get all the rights to do anything they want with our dog in public, and call the management when someone says that actually isn’t how it works. Our extremely untrained and NOT people-safe dog. The one we have literally never been able to get into a building that isn’t our house or the neighbors because he has such bad anxiety. The one who lunges at every child he sees and is so strong that none of us can hold him back. The one who has never bitten anyone, but we all know he will when he feels threatened enough (which is quite an easy thing to do considering how terrible his anxiety is). The one they refuse to get trained because they are so convinced they don’t need any help and can do it all by themselves under the wisdom of the great Cesar Milan YouTube channel. (Except they would never ‘stoop so low’ aka destroy their ego by needing help. My mom just doesn’t care but my dad is convinced that he can do it because he raised farm dogs as a kid. Because those skills transfer over to a house dog in the suburbs, obviously).

I have tried for actual years to stop them, and get my parents to understand why it is wrong and not ok what they are attempting to do. However they don’t care, they refuse to listen to me and the laws about service animals. It doesn’t help that pretty much all of their friends with dogs are trying to do the exact same thing. They so genuinely believe that they should be able to do anything they want with this dog, and that he is just as good and trained as any other dog (which he’s Not). Recently I have overheard them talking about getting him a service animal vest and just trying to fake it until they can get him actually registered (which they won’t be able to, because they refuse to get him trained and at this point I don’t think he even can be trained. They do not understand how service animals work in any capacity).

I’m just curious— what can I do in this situation at this point? It has gotten to a point with me where, it’s not my dog, and nothing I say or do will persuade them otherwise. I just don’t want to lose our dog or see him get hurt, or risk my parents potentially getting fined or getting jail time for it. But they are my parents and technically it is my dog. It feels like it’s my responsibility to try and stop them, but I genuinely don’t know what I could do. Does anyone have any tips from their experiences with anything similar?

#service animal #esa #emotional support animal #tw parental issues #to make it extra clear: I do not condone this. the only reason this is still happening is because I cannot do anything about it

planstransamanacanalpanema

Important note from a future nurse: if you are chronically ill, on a lot of medications, even managing conditions on your own, buy a drug guide. Davis's Drug Guide is what they had us buy for nursing school, and I've looked up every single medication I take in it. It helps you understand what the drug is doing to you, helps you understand side effects, reasons why you shouldn't take a medication, things to monitor for while you're taking a medication. It's not perfect by any means, but the thing I've found is that it's helped me guide conversations with providers, nurses, pharmacists, it's helped me figure out what questions to ask. When I've heard people talk about what they didnt know about their meds, what they wish they knew about their meds, it's often in a drug guide.

Out of everything I've learned in nursing school, it is the biggest thing I'd advocate for having in any home, period.

willgrahamscock

#I also want to add like #I was never afraid of my parents #but I would still cry after getting in trouble #and it’s still not because I was trying to manipulate them #children just. deal with negative emotions by crying sometimes #like most humans.#now ofc not to like diminish op and prev tags bc yall are absolutely correct #I just wanted to add the point that children cry. it is a natural response in the first place.

jeremiu

jenny holzer

avengerphobic

sometimes you people will be calling things "Body Horror" when it's just how some people live

avengerphobic

i think everyone should be required to take a class and learn about ostomy care and catheters and dialysis and insulin pumps and see what aging does to the body and learn about disabling illnesses and normalize them because yall will be out here saying shit is horrifying when its just like a medical device

I’ve always felt there’s been this like. Like it feels there’s supposed to be some miraculous moment when you dye your hair or get a tattoo or piercing, or buy a new wardrobe, or alter yourself in some dramatic way but honestly I feel like. The pinnacle of being who you want to be is just not needing to always pay attention to what you are if that makes sense. When I hated myself I could never forget how I looked, how my hair framed my face and laid so flat on my head, and how my skin was nasty and full of acne. How I was too short and too skinny but also not skinny enough and how my boobs weren’t big enough but also way too big and my nose was humongous and gross and my eyes wrinkled and just. I was constantly thinking about every part of me that was incorrect. I could never get my mind off of how wrong I felt and looked. But now that I like myself more— I started to build myself into someone I want to remember— I just kind of. Forget. I forget that I have cool short dyed hair, and that I finally started to get the tattoos I want. I never really pay mind to if my hair is greasy or I have acne. Even when I have body dysphoria or dysmorphia it just. It just doesn’t hurt as bad. When I put all the stops in to look good, or I really like what I am in the current moment I’m obsessed, I feel good. But if I am not putting as much effort in I’m not thinking about the lack of effort, I’m not thinking about how gross I am. I can smile and let my eyes wrinkle and take a photo of my side profile and big ass nose and put my hair up and leave the house now and I don’t feel bad. I don’t feel anything about it because I just don’t even think about it. I think part of loving yourself is just not caring about yourself that much. It’s not finding a way to constantly be the better, prettier version of you as much as possible with no in between. It’s about getting there, yes, but it’s also about being ok with not being there.

#self love #mental health #body dysmorphia #body dysphoria

batmanisagatewaydrug

I see that "learned helplessness" is the hot new psychological term getting wildly misused. the phrase you're looking for is "weaponized incompetence," babes

batmanisagatewaydrug

weaponized incompetence is when your partner does chores shitty on purpose so that you stop asking them to do chores. learned helplessness is when you've experienced so much trauma that you've developed the mindset that you can't meaningfully change your situation and have become accordingly passive.

if your partner is exhibiting learned helplessness they aren't manipulating you, they're displaying a trauma response.

wheelchairtetris

wheelchair users deserve a minimum of three wheelchairs to meet different needs. like, bare minimum of indoor chair, outdoor chair, and off road chair. chairs that meet different needs for transport, activity, positioning needs, energy levels, etc.

there is not "one chair" that can meet every need. wheelchair users deserve to have multiple chairs that meet specific needs, no matter how complex their seating/positioning needs. we deserve to at least have a backup if our chair breaks that is just as suited to our needs.

wheelchairtetris

wow this blew up

for anyone who doesn't know, wheelchairs are very expensive and insurance will usually only cover one every five years or only cover a new one if your needs have changed significantly. the expense is especially true for anyone who has complex positioning needs (i.e. requiring tilt/recline/elevation in power wheelchairs, general group 3 power wheelchair needs, one arm drive for manual wheelchairs, etc.). as with so many disability related issues, those most impacted by their disability are most at risk of harm when adequate support is out of reach.

this post isn't a joke about how we deserve more for being disabled. this is a very real issue for many wheelchair users, for whom using a wheelchair not suited to their needs can cause very real harm. access to multiple wheelchairs that meet your needs can save lives, and the financial limits placed on disabled people (through insurance, through savings caps, through limited income) prevent that from being our reality!

anarchistmemedistro

hammersys

✦　˚ ASD resources

All of the links below are either resources, research, and/or tips/help for people with ASD. Join our Discord server!

Found any outdated links, or any links that include misinformation? Please let me know!

✦ Resources/Miscellaneous

ASD glossary

Things to know about Autism (Bright website)!

Taking showers with sensory issues

Is it ADHD or Autism? A diagram with overlap, article included.

Tips on how to do the dishes with Autism

5 things to do while waiting for an Autism evaluation

The problem with 'high functioning'

Interview questions 'translated'.

✦ About ASD

What is autism? (Bright website!)

DSM-5 criteria for Autism, criteria and tools used in an autism diagnosis. (Bright website!)

Dictionary for autism

(Very bright) Autism links to research, government information, and stories.

Autism Masterpost, full of resources

This post is truly amazing, it was done by @a-queer-seminarian and is perfect for orientation.

✦ Recovery Resources

Meltdown plan; What is it, what can help? (Powerpoint)

Original post of the Meltdown plan

TENSE method, for struggling to identify feelings

A list of non-visible / non-distracteable stims

Tips on Dental hygiene with autism

Autism Spectrum Disorder; Diagnosis and treatment

✦ (ASD) Safe blogs/Informational Blogs

@my-autism-adhd-blog

@audhd-space

@autism-asks

@autismcultureis

Stimboards on Tumblr, tiktok, or other!

BEFORE YOU COMMENT: Everybody can use my resources, but keep discourse/syscourse out of our comments. Our anti-endo tag exists for personal interaction. Asks are anti-endo, etc, but as I've said, resources are for all.

my-autism-adhd-blog

Sharing this in case it helps anyone 🥰

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