[header ID: white fluffy fabric with multicolour hearts on it.] [profile picture ID: a picrew of Clementine, a white man in a wheelchair. there's a rainbow pride flag background.] ☆ M/MHSN, physically disabled, autistic, system. AAC and mobility aid user. transsexual (he/it!), queer, aroace-spec.
-> This part above the cut is a TLDR for users who can’t do longer reading. More information is below the cut 🩶.
♡
TLDR: This is a side blog for @tangerine-segments. We are an autistic dissociative system. Queer + transsexual creature-thing. He/him, it/its, they/them pronouns. Physically disabled + insane. We yap a lot. All mentally ill people welcome here (provided you do not take pride in any harm you do- harm reduction & recovery where possible is good 👍). No DNI, but proudly bigoted/discriminatory blogs will get blocked 🙂↕️. Oke that’s the end of the TLDR!
♡
-> Below the cut here is the extra & more detailed intro… Heayyyyy….. 🗣️.
Omg heayyyy…. Hello! We are Grove. We are the dissociative system behind this account 🤭. Nice to have you here 🫰.
-> Our main blog is @tangerine-segments, which is our system account. It’s also where we have a longer list of our sub-blogs. Most of us will post on this blog at some point, but it’s unlikely we will specify who wrote what.
-> We are autistic + have comorbid neurodevelopmental disabilities. We have a lot of mental illness diagnoses + several diagnosed physical disabilities. Psychotic, dissociative, generally Strange. Brain-body does not work well!
-> Bodily an adult (+ most of us are around body-age). This is not a NSFW blog, and it is fine for under-18s and teenager-bodied systems to interact. You're all welcome here.!! We do swear in posts sometimes, and often forget to tag warnings for that. If that is an issue please block us or whatever you need to do 🙂↕️ /genuine.
-> Queer freak entity!! We exist in a transsexual body & our host(s) are transsexual men 😗. We all identify with slightly different queer identities- but overall we consider ourselves transsexual, aroace-spec + gay/mlm. Queer is the word we use most because it covers everything nicely 🙂↕️. Uninterested in “discourse” about queerness; identity-policing is not something we will do.
-> Not prosocial (as in we don’t have prosocial emotions like empathy)- but we still do our best to act kindly & behave compassionately. However we often lack the patience/ability to have a back-and-forth conversation. So we will not look at private messages or respond very much in comments. That does not mean we dislike you personally!! We just can’t manage much human interaction because autism + ASPD + the rest hahah. Fellow ASPD-ers are welcome here of course, as are all other personality-disordered & behaviour-disordered folks.
-> We need mobility aids to get about- specifically a wheelchair/powerchair. So we are visibly disabled + talk about that on here! Moderate, complex support needs. So please be patient with us 😌.
-> We struggle organising thoughts/words/feelings. We will probably mess up words or phrases even though we edit things multiple times before posting. If we say anything that you cannot understand, or we say something insensitive, please tell us directly!! We will explain and/or correct it. We want this blog to be accessible + safe for marginalised folks. But we will likely mess up sometimes. So if we reblog something that’s gross, or do an image description wrong, or forget an accessibility thing, or say something uneducated- please say!! Please work on assumption that we did not realise and did not intend harm. We welcome constructive feedback + help understanding things 💖 /serious.
-> We have a lot of difficulty processing new information, learning new topics, and have memory problems. Which means we don’t really feel able enough to speak on things we don’t have personal experiences with. So we will do our best just to share information from the folks who know more than us. If we misunderstand something please be patient, we have a brain that doesn’t work in an abled way 😵💫.
-> No DNI- but we will block any blog that promotes bigotry/discrimination and has no intent to change that. We simply do not have the energy or ability to engage.
-> Okay that’s probably all for now! We have had this in drafts for months and keep forgetting about it. Posting as it is so there’s at least something pinned… Hope you enjoy our silly thoughts if you wish to stay a while 🥳. Bye!!
i dislike the weird jump to blame suicide victims for their suicides and call them selfish. suicide is very frequently in some way a social murder. i think instead of blaming someone who was in such a dark place that they saw no other way out we should maybe be blaming the people who threw gas on the fire, such as those with a lot of power to make that person's life that bad or those who abused them into it. is that really that unreasonable
not once has being told i was being selfish- or seeing people talk about how selfish suicide is- EVER made me feel less suicidal. it creates shame. it makes me shut down and never want to disclose feeling this way because oh, g-d, doesn't that make me a bad person? oh, g-d, they'll think i'm a monster, they'll think i'm guilt tripping them, they'll think, they'll think, they'll think (....)
and worse still, nearly every time i've been pushed this far- and, indeed, a lot of my mental health problems to begin with- often stem from the idea that i am less important than anyone else. my thoughts, my feelings, my safety, my life are less important. so to hear people essentially say to me, "but how would everyone else feel!?"?? it doesn't help at all. it makes it so much worse. once more, i am not the important one. even at my lowest, i have to be the one to make compromises and consider how everyone else feels. how could that ever help me? how could you say that to someone?
Proximity to abledness is often used as a weapon against higher support needs Disabled people.
When this happens, it is not "lateral ableism", as that implies an equal access to resources, power and community. Those with higher support needs are systematically harmed by ableism to a greater extent than lower support needs folks.
What these instances are, though, are displays of ableist violence. But when we don't factor in intracommunity power dynamics, this violence is flattened to "community conflict" or "disagreement". The reality is that relational power dynamics are crucial to contextualising harm.
"Clearly I wasn't talking about disabled people-" yeah part of the problem is that the existence of disabled people just isn't considered in your worldview like that's the problem we're criticizing not a get out of jail free card
People will keep insisting that being high functioning/able to mask isn't a privilege because they aren't given the support they actually need, but the thing about assuming that less functional and more visibly disabled people actually DO receive the support they need is that it simple isn't true
Like it triggers me badly how common a take "carceral violence is bad and should be limited, except in the case of really mentally ill people who need it and benefit from it" is even among supposedly progressive people
"erm actually this thing you said you experienced, where doctors treated you wrong, is illegal!!" Do you understand that medical malpractice is a real thing and not just a plot device from House MD. You get that, right. Right??
Being visibly disabled in the current community is a fascinating experience. Somehow you get to be the most visible part of the community and yet simultaneously completely invisible. People will tell you you're seen as the default and yet even spaces that call themselves "accessible" seemingly forget entirely that wheeled mobility aid users might need to use them too, or treat you as an afterthought. Disability related gatherings will be absolutely shocked if you turn up with a bulky mobility aid like a power chair or have a particularly noticeable visible difference, as if they never thought that people like you actually existed in the real world and might share a space with them. Disability related merch will be plastered in invisible disability slogans but people will look at you like you're from outer space if you ask if they have anything about disabilities that aren't invisible. They tell you about how they saw someone with a disability vaguely similar to yours on TV once, so you don't need more awareness.
All the while abled people just continue to act like you don't exist unless you can be "inspirational", or you're inconvenient to them, or you look so different that they think they can get away with treating you like an animal.
I'm still baffled that so many people seem completely unaware of how dangerous Covid is. Every time you get Covid, there is a chance you develop a life-long disability. It can cause brain damage, as well as damage to the heart, the lungs, the stomach... And yet no one seems to be worried about this. They don't mask when they're sick. They go to work or school even though they have a virus that might disable anyone who gets infected by it. Many people don't even seem to know what Long Covid is, or that the chances of getting it are statistically higher each time you get infected
me when around my dx severe or level 3 autistic & high support needs & complex severely disabled & full time or nonambulatory wheelchair user friends: am actually not that disabled like feel like am quite abled
me when outside people exist: oh am actually that disabled. you mean you people do things??
IDC if you personally like being called "deformed." the vast majority of the visibly different community has shifted away from that word in favor of "visible/limb/facial difference" and you don't get to speak for all of us about our comfort with that word. speak for yourself. don't declare "deformed" to be the appropriate word for everyone with a visible difference and definitely don't accuse "visible difference" of being a euphemism akin to "differently abled"
you have to consciously unlearn racism and continue to watch for it because it will come out without realizing. because so much of society is structured around it. shrugging and going "i dont care" or "i dont know how else to say it" means you are okay with being racist and hurting other people with how much you dont give a shit about them.
Medical fatphobia is something else man what do you mean our eating disorder is endorsed by doctors. And we just have to do the things we had hoped to leave in the past coz the alternative is no treatment. And we kinda really need the treatment.
being disabled and unemployed isn't contributing to society but joining the military is? going abroad to brutalise people for imperial interests is?? maybe that society isn't worth anything
I do think most childhoods are pretty traumatic just, by default. even run of the mill taking your shit, grounding you, setting strict rules (which would be absurd for an adult) style parenting. Physical and sexual violence on top of that is more fuel to the fire, and certainly contributes a heavy mental load, but children are fundamentally not treated like people by most of the world. They're an investment; a form of useful property that might someday become an endebted human being. This is the context under which all child abuse occurs; but the context itself is rather deplorable, don't you think?
