[asweo-blog]

After six months of me fretting, Buffy finally gave me another molt! It was beaaautiful, I watched most of it and was completely hooked. Here's a shitty but nevertheless quite cool video of a piece of it. She took about 3-4 hours this time. Now she's super sexy long-legs, and very ginger. Feeding test tomorrow if I can get a hold of some out of town. So looking forward to it - she nearly leapt at me when I retrieved molt. Yay, attitude Buff! 

[asweo-blog]

Facts:

This is my first post in a very long time. This blog is now going to become a sort of highly-informal notes/personal diary blog. With many posts about teaching, a few rants about dog training, pictures of tarantulas, and suchlike. Feel free to unfollow. :)

Teacher training is going really well after just one week. I feel comfortable with a lot of it, although certainly am quite wary of Y11! I know I'll experience my way out of that, but it's still really daunting. As a whole, the girls (it's an all-girls school) are absolutely amazing. Most of them anyway - and certainly enough to make me so excited to give them something to absorb because they actually CAN absorb, and really, really want to - how cooool. I'm going to get very attached to my little year sevens next week. I can't wait tomeet them. 

My department has a new second, and I'm getting along with him extremely well. We talked for several hours today when it was supposed to be a five minute 'goodbye' at the end of the day. He's very like my boyfriend, only with an interest in literature and language, hah. I've already taught him to not open doors for me outside of natural door-opening behaviour! But he still calls me darling a bit.

There are many mistakes I know I will make, and many times when, due to my natural disorganised nature, that I know I will fuck up with full blame. But hey. It's training. I'm feeling alright. Today the second said I seem very confident - wowwww. It's so amusing to think that is how I might be seen. As in, hilarious. I've upturned my bag twice today in front of all the staff in the staff room, I was shitting it because I was wearing my scruffy unprofessional boots as a result of blisters, and I'm just overall not a confident person in front of 30 tiny humans. But I think I'm happy, and perhaps that's what is making it work.

Things I've learnt in the past four days as a School Direct trainee;

- if you want to say something to contribute to a meeting, or a class you're observing, or even just in conversation that *may* be above your 'position'/knowledge - fucking say it. In an intervention class of year elevens they were stumped on an answer, and I politely butted in and offered an alternative to consider and they were scrawling the thought down and I clicked&treated myself, and resolved to do that more often. Make an impression - don't be a mouse. 

- When someone asks if you know Bloom's Taxonomy don't say yes when you mean no, it will make the next ten minutes quite confusing.

- I don't want to be KC (a brilliant, very correct-etiquette, direct, quite strict teacher) but neither do I want to be JC (the second, a very loose, sarcastic, slightly embarrassing, quick-to-temper but otherwise smiley humorous teacher). Neither are my models. I think I can be naturally in the middle. KC mentioned when I was questioning her about her attitude in front of the classroom when she started, that the department chose me as their trainee because of my personality - which is not 'soft', but quite gentle in terms of speaking and approach, but not without passion and enthusiasm. Hard to explain. My training provisor called me sultry. That's not great for the classroom. Hah. 

- Talk to everyone. And when the headteacher says 'hi, how's it going' when you cross him in the corridor etc, do NOT just say 'hi, fine thank you'. Say 'good morning - brilliant, thanks! Really enjoying it. How are you?' 

- Even if you don't think it's time of the month..... stock up tamps.... 

Other thing in my head that is allowed to go on my blog because it's mine - 

I have a lump in breast that could be something sinister. I had a check 2/3 months ago but they said it's probably a breast mouse, thus will go away after a period or two. It hasn't and sometimes it hurts. Got an appt at a C-word clinic in a couple of weeks. I'm consciously really quite meh about it, not really thinking pessimistically at all. But I have this thing where foreign bodies in MY body - i.e lumps, implants, babies - REPULSE me. Sicken me. I feel so squeamish and want to rip my breast off. It's guttural, emotional, I can't say 'stop feeling like that it's ridiculous' - I have to keep busy. I think I would like to talk someone about it, but who? Hm.  I told my mum, because as I say I'm not thinking the worst and thought she should know as I said months ago it was a thing that would likely go away. it likely still will. Should you not tell your mum things like this? I don't know the protocol haha. 

The end for now.

[buffy-screencaps]

[asweo-blog]

Stink

What do I smell like? Because I could catch you on soft cotton and breathe in your shadow scent on pillows, inhaling zippo fluid and comfortable skin-stick with a belly-full of aroma.

When away I hang to reluctant trails of you; recreate your skin and eyes and creases from a deep breath of Mayfair’s wake.

[asweo-blog]

They didn’t even upgrade me to first-class I split open on the front desk following hairline cracks with you. As the flight tag tore and my overweight case fled into conveyor-belt depths, I released damp apologies.

Not an Orlando-approved show; a post-goodbye public wreckage flourishing no Floridian souvenir. Just white-knuckling your shirt cuffs. Just white-knuckling it.

[asweo-blog]

Smell

I can catch an Indian market on the air, and turn around clock-hands to ‘ninety-eight with a sniff at the right time, right road, yet I can’t see it.

I fill in the blanks, colour in the lines through photos and film, home-videos of three white English girls shouting to be heard first on a train to New Delhi.

I can flick past pages of seven-year-old script, and find the back-page secret scribble; the drawing of the mating geckos, a ‘still-life’, from a locked-in Goa hotel.

I can catch an Indian market on a blunt Kentish air. 

[asweo-blog]

If only the thin ran sideways

It’s a quiet day for a snail shepherd; his first farmed find evades little, just thick figures down the clock’s long arm. Above languid sticky bodies, winged foes zip to embrace raindrops on tentative tips and hitch-hiking mosquitos on fat wet worlds leap free before a pavement pile-up. The humans erupt in the downpour as machine-gun pellets speckle suits. Those with slender bodies, dodge. 

[smilesandsunrays]

Go birding, find an octopus. But seriously, why are you on land?

[asweo-blog]

Look who finally decided to eat! :D Three weeks after molt. I dropped it in front of her and she pounced immediately, as if she knew I was going to put dinner out right there and then. Good Buffy.

[the-oldlittlelady-blog]

Remember how we went Downtown on Sunday with the dogs?

Well, of course, everyone smiled at our pups and so many people wanted to pet them and stuff. But Bailey was so off. We actually started telling people that they could pet Kira, but not Bailey. She would growl and puff up at anyone who got...

[asweo-blog]

Need to get associating her with black people asap! Lots and lots of counter-conditioning. If she's that nervous in public then don't flood her, it will make it so much worse. Start slowly, invite (black) people over, have them treat her if she allows it. Lots and lots of positive reinforcement and the moment she shows those stress signals, take steps back, don't force her to put up with it just because Kira can - could be really detrimental. Just my two c! (: 

[asweo-blog]

[aviculor]

asweo:

They’re supposed to be like that. If the joints were heavily armored, the leg wouldn’t be able to move :p

[asweo-blog]

Well, it certainly makes sense (phew!) buuut, see, they were never like this before the molt haha hence my confusion haha. Perhaps they just dull over a little more time? Thank you for the response. ^^ 

[asweo-blog]

Wondering if I can get some advice. Buffy molted a week ago (her first with me, yay!) and it all was fine I believe, took about five hours. Good, complete result that I feel all squiggly and proud of. (: She has lovely sexy long legs now haha. 

She's only just now rising from her belly and supporting herself, which I'm not too worried about, think she's just being cosy. I've given her a couple of little crickets, she doesn't seem at all interested in them. Again - nothing too worrying, it hasn't been *that* long and she has been somewhat a fussy eater since I've had her.

I'm just very aware of her joints - as you can see, the epicuticle doesn't seem to connect fully, leaving these 'gaps' in the exo? There isn't any leakage, I don't think her 'blood' is seeping etc, it seems dry enough despite the shiny texture. As you can see she can climb (hasn't really been doing so, this was particular) so is obviously not too weak, everything went 'well' enough.

My boyfriend, who used to have quite a few Ts, is a little unsure, and I can't find much about these clear visible procuticle joints online. I'm guessing they *should* clear up as the exo continues to form? But surely after almost a week she should have hardened fully by now? Any advice (and scolding?! have I done something wrong? :P) welcome! Thank you. 

[asweo-blog]

I've been very MIA on Tumblr and honestly cannot predict a return any time soon. Life is hectic. I'm not used to being this busy. But here's a picture of Buff. She's doing really well, look at that fat bum. Haven't seen a molt still though, hopefully it won't be too long now. 

[itslatingirl]

[mothernaturenetwork]

[asweo-blog]

Artist paints 5,500 shelter dogs — the number killed in the U.S. each day Mark Barone is immortalizing the dogs to put a face on the staggering statistic and encourage animal shelters to adopt no-kill policies.

[legentis-blog]

craigslist houseshare ad: “i have a garden growing in my shower so you have to use eco-friendly hair products. you will see worms and other insects, and you will occasionally see a spider too but they all help out the ecosystem.”

ok.

[photosetavenue]