A Teenage Guy's Thoughts

A teenage boy progressing into a man, so for now, he is just a 'guy'.

[ateenageguy-blog]

For those of you interested:

Here's my new blog that I will be currently residing in. Unfortunately, I couldn't live without spilling my thoughts to anonymous strangers on the internet. http://paragonofparagons.tumblr.com/

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #314: The End. (Really This Time)

In the movies, protagonists are met with some resolution at the end, some sort of cathartic experience that elevates their learning or understanding of life. However, this isn't a movie. This is real life. My life, or story, isn't finished, yet it is time for this to end. I don't feel any resolution. I don't feel any closure or end, but I'm no longer a teenager anymore.  Today, turning 20, was a day just like every one before it.  I've always had a policy about birthdays. It bothers me when others make arbitrary countdowns to their birthday or announce, "It's my birthday!" What are people going to say? A begrudging, non-heartfelt "Happy Birthday" in return? I've always taken birthdays as an evaluation of how well you're doing socially. It may be superficial, but I think it makes an accurate assessment. If people care about you or know you, they'll make the effort to say something to you, either through text, call, Facebook, or in person. Each medium holds a different value, and it's best to take the results and reflect.  But why reflect on what you already know?  This year, turning 20,  nothing has changed, except my expectations. I think that's the defining difference. I'm content with the status quo. Coping seems to be the most adequate solution, and that feels good. It feels okay.  In trying to make this into a book, I can imagine someone on Amazon (and this is assuming it ever gets published) saying, "2/5 stars. The plot is unclear. The protagonist is whiny and says the same thing over and over again." But that's my life. You're giving 2 stars to how I felt at the time. I don't know, I may be jumping the gun. I don't know how someone will feel when they read this. Truly, I don't even know how I will feel when I read back through this again.  In my three years of blogging, and over 300 thoughts written in that time span, I have met people from all different backgrounds, ethnicities, and countries. People I've met and fell in love with, and people I've come to despise. This blog has made enemies, but also, friends. I thank every last one of them.  I've amassed a small following, nothing colossal at all. However, I am bound to believe they follow me because they have liked what I have written, that it may relate to what they are going through. By my inadequacies and quandaries about life, I hope to shelter people from a similar experience of mental turmoil.  When I've had no one else to turn to, this blog listened. It never questioned. It never accused. It just listened. That's something hard to find in human form. Most people I know hardly have a clue what has gone in my personal life, let alone that I have been documenting it for the last 3 years. It's been a horribly kept secret that I can call my own. I think after people, relatively close, that read this will think different of me, and honestly I couldn't care less. 

If anything, I want people to understand that I'm not some main character in a story or book. I'm a human being. I will continue to exist, but this venture will cease to be. To be honest, I have no witty lines. I have no witty goodbyes. I'm almost disappointed in myself for not coming up with something more clever.  But I think that's what is so realistic about it; there is no resolution. There is no happily ever after. Am I okay with that? I guess I will have to be. In the words of The Truman Show, "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"

Sincerely,  Jake The End. 

[ateenageguy-blog]

You say there is a God because scientists can't prove their isn't one. That is like saying unicorns exist because we can't prove that they do not. People do not need religion to be good people or do great things. Think of one good thing that can't be done without God? Now think of the Crusades, the genocide in the bible, the killing of "heretics", burning of books, the use of slavery in the bible, and if you actually read the bible (which I have) you'll see its full of hypocrisy. <3

You apparently ignored the entirety of my post. I applaud you for having the ability to pick out the part that least suits you, misconstrue it, demonize it, and try to ‘prove it wrong.’ Bravo, good sir/madam. Any Christianity arguments that you make are null and void for the simple fact that I specifically narrowed my rationale to whether God exists or not. (I even put a disclaimer) A God can exist without religion. A religion does not typically exist without a God. Furthermore, my reasoning that God exists isn’t hinged on whether scientists can or cannot prove it. No matter what origin one can provide, physically based, scientifically rooted, there has to be an eternal origin: a true origin. Things can’t appear out of nothing.  In saying this, there has to be something that exists out of our concept of space and time, that created the universe, and is supernatural. If there is any other explanation under those 3 categories, besides a God, that can be provided, then sure… I’d listen to it, but there is no such thing. The only answer that has been provided is a God. To what capacity that he/she is active within our world or what he/she does is up for reasonable debate. However, it’s more logical to conclude that a God exists rather than not. Don’t try to over extend my argument then bash that over-extension that you created. <3

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #313: I Finally Feel Like I Am Loved

In all the years, abandoned and alone, I'm learning to adjust to trusting again. Today, in the worse sickness I have been in for years, my mother came over, bought me some groceries and lunch. She does have her faults, but she's been more consistent as of late. She asks how I'm doing. She's started to say, "I love you" at the end of phone calls. She's there for me. And even though it may just be one person, at least it's someone. I can finally trust her again, and I'm so glad for that. 

I really am. 

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #312: Passion

Out of all the words that have been used to describe me, I've never known to be "passionate." Yet, this is what she had called me, among other things. To me, I didn't know any different. I've always had this part of me that wants to make a difference.  If anything, I feel involved in college. I have many commitments that I devote my time to. Driven? Maybe. Passionate: hardly considered.  In my early life, I always was a high achiever. I was the kid you always saw go up to the stage several times during assemblies for awards. I had solo parts in choir, was captain of my quiz bowl team, and scored a 23 composite score on the ACT at the age of 12. (Just to name a few.) I accomplished things. Even this laptop that I am typing on was bought with the money I had won in a writing contest.  It makes me feel good. It makes me feel unique. Isn't that what we are all wanting with our lives, anyway? We want to save the world, 'make a difference', and put our skills to use. But as we grow, we set our aspirations lower and lower. 'Doctor' becomes 'physician's assistant'. 'FBI agent' becomes 'police officer'. 'President' becomes 'out of work'.  It seems like we all have these soaring dreams, but in the appearance of actual difficulty, we lower our standards, too scared we could accomplish more. With each person I know that drops out of college, it becomes more apparent. It's particularly relevant in the area I live in. You grow up here all your life. You either get your cosmetology licence, go to community college, or go to a small university. If you go to college, you typically will either get your education degree, your nursing degree, or your management degree. You then find a job in the same area where you stay the rest of your life. It's like a black hole. I've never wanted that.  But I've been so focused on 'doing me' that I presumed that's how the rest of the world functioned: this innate sense of direction.  More often than not, people have no idea what they want to do with their life.  When I asked the girl I sit by in one of my psychology classes what she wants to do with her Sociology degree she said, "I really have no idea." She furthered by saying, "You have everything planned out, and I just... don't." 

I didn't know how to feel about that. I have dreams, and I have goals, and I am actively heading towards them everyday. I don't think of that as something unique. However, with the more people I talk to, the more I realize it is. In return, I get to cling to the idea that the future holds something a lot better for me than the present. That only happens if I actively work towards it.  I remember getting my progress report my junior year: all A's and one A-. I showed my dad and he stated, "What's this A- doing here?" I tried to assure him that it would get 'fixed', and that I would do better. Out of all the other grades, he pointed out the minor thing I did 'wrong', and I spent the better half of my life trying to impress the man I called Dad, just so I could hear him say, "I'm really impressed, Jake."  To be honest, I don't think it was ever enough for him. I was a trophy he could show to all his friends and co-workers, but I never felt valued. In translating that to now, I have excelled at anything I put my mind to, but is that passion? A derivative from a fear to not ever be good enough? I don't think it is. I've started learning that I should do things because I want to do them, not because society, or anyone else, thinks I should do it. While the end remains unchanging, the change in means make my life worth living a little bit more.  If you don't like doing something, do something about it. You have the ability to change the context of the situation if you put your mind to it. It shouldn't be a rarity to be passionate, so do the things you love. Let it drive you towards something magnificent and great. 

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #311: I wonder if people can change or if these things may never go away.

If it's the latter, I don't know if I can live on earth anymore. I want to find good people. I want to be with good people. I rationalize people's actions by saying, "It's just the age that we are at." They're selfish, overly carefree, uncaring about consequences, blunt, rude, rash, superficial, and indecent towards others. I'm worried to find out that it's not an age thing but a human thing, and that I will perpetually suffer this way until my life ends.  I'm holding out that things will get better. That's what I'm told. That's what I want to believe, because it's no fun to feel so old. I want to be the same, just like everybody else. 

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #310: Why God Can Exist (In 10 Minutes Or Less)

Most atheists I know, specifically ones in the United States, are atheists due to three reasons. A) They never grew up in a church, therefore do not see God as necessary or just.

B) They grew up in church but were appalled by (hypocrisy, gossip, selfishness, the 'wrath' of God, etc.)

C) Science, evolution on a macro level, seems more logical. All of these scenarios seem understandable to me. I don't agree with them, but they warrant perspective.  I mean, if there is a God, why do bad things happen? If there is a God, why are there tons of other religions that say differently? Christianity, and its followers, seems to muddle things up when it comes to basic philosophical perspective. Let's dissolve that and get to the roots of the dilemma.  In America, the two opposing forces are atheism, the rejection of a belief there is a God and then Christianity. While we can limit the definition of atheism to a 'rejection of a belief', that rejection is based on a premise itself, or a 'belief'. That's not what I'm trying to get at though, and please note that I am not supporting Christianity, but that there is, in fact, room for a God.  Let's break it down to two trains of thought: Universalism and Relativism. Universalism- a doctrine or school claiming universal facts can be discovered.  Relativism- the concept that points of view have no absolute truth or validity, having only relative, subjective value according to differences in perception and consideration But in considering that relativism accepts that truth can exist, but in relative terms, provides a way for God to be able to exist. How, you ask? Well, if you are not a universalist, believing in an absolute truth, than you have to believe in relativism. That's how it is. Those are the only two options. (Unless, you just don't know, which in that case you can't make any claims of the existence of God, because, again, you don't know.)  Ironically, the paradox of saying, "There is no God," is, in itself, an absolute truth. It is a universal and absolute statement. More accurately, you could say, "There might not be a God, and here is the reasons why." But no matter how much scientific proof someone brought, no one could say, absolutely sure, "There is no God!" A god could supersede in origin provided. In saying that, let's switch gears and look at the origins of space and time. Most atheists assert "The Big Bang Theory," but if you like something else, that's fine too. Any scientific, non-supernatural, dating as far back as you like, must have an origin. I mean, you can say, "Well, maybe it just appeared out of no where?" That would be spontaneous generation, and that was disproven in the 19th century. So, it has to have an origin of some sort.  So, then what is it?

Well, what if something exists beyond our preconception of space and time? That's really the only explanation that has been alternatively provided. You could give me physical theory after physical theory, but there can be a God, or any supernatural power, predating it. Even, creating it. *Gasp* That's not necessarily what I am advocating though. But you see, believing in The Big Bang Theory doesn't exempt the ability for a God. In fact, being non-universalistic makes room for the fact that there could be a God. I'm not saying that it has to be a the Christian one. When someone denies Christianity, there's an assumption that atheism is the only option. Not true. Deism is a perfectly legitimate option as well, and it fits in the universalistic 

So with these two paradigms, let's juxtapose.  Relativism allows for a God. Universalism doesn't allow any room for there not to be a God. (You with me?) Universalism is what we define our government, morals, and living by. Relativism cannot sufficiently be practiced, even in a vacuum of no cultural influence or societal norms.  As one person put it, "People often seek to take the relativist stance for the sake of their personal philosophy. The obvious problem being that nobody can see it through, nobody can follow moral relativism to its’ logical conclusions. Nobody can live as though moral relativism were true, and everybody believes and lives as though that there is a transcendent standard of morality." 

Ignoring everything else for the sake of the argument, this is what it all boils down too. The most negative, philosophically correct statement you can say about the existence of God is, "Well he might not exist." Anything else, you can't simply argue without contradicting your paradigm. 

Even the American government was established on the principle that there are absolute truths out there (unalienable rights). Relativism is impractical and still leaves room for the existence of God. No matter what scientific origin you proclaim to be true, there has to be a beginning before that. It can't be able to suddenly appear, and it must be eternal for it to exist.  What other options are there besides some supernatural power that we can't conceptually fathom? Whatever your answer is, I'd like to believe in something constant that has 3 world religions backing it up, has practical application, and gives some set of guidelines to end chaos. But hey, that's just me.  Note: All of these things should have little contestment, but I will answer any questions. I haven't dived into any major specifics of theories/beliefs, but these are the main themes that are accounted for and examined. 

[wordsthat-speak]

Yesterday, I spent 60 dollars on groceries, took the bus home, carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment and cooked myself dinner. You and I may have different definitions of a good day. This week, I paid my rent and my credit card bill, worked 60 hours between my two jobs, only saw the sun on my cigarette breaks and slept like a rock. Flossed in the morning, locked my door, and remembered to buy eggs. My mother is proud of me. It is not the kind of pride she brags about at the golf course. She doesn’t combat topics like, ”My daughter got into Yale” with, ”Oh yeah, my daughter remembered to buy eggs” But she is proud. See, she remembers what came before this. The weeks where I forgot how to use my muscles, how I would stay as silent as a thick fog for weeks. She thought each phone call from an unknown number was the notice of my suicide. These were the bad days. My life was a gift that I wanted to return. My head was a house of leaking faucets and burnt-out lightbulbs. Depression, is a good lover. So attentive; has this innate way of making everything about you. And it is easy to forget that your bedroom is not the world, That the dark shadows your pain casts is not mood-lighting. It is easier to stay in this abusive relationship than fix the problems it has created. Today, I slept in until 10, cleaned every dish I own, fought with the bank, took care of paperwork. You and I might have different definitions of adulthood. I don’t work for salary, I didn’t graduate from college, but I don’t speak for others anymore, and I don’t regret anything I can’t genuinely apologize for. And my mother is proud of me. I burned down a house of depression, I painted over murals of greyscale, and it was hard to rewrite my life into one I wanted to live But today, I want to live. I didn’t salivate over sharp knives, or envy the boy who tossed himself off the Brooklyn bridge. I just cleaned my bathroom, did the laundry, called my brother. Told him, “it was a good day.

A Good Day (Kait Rokowski)

I want to have this.

[ateenageguy-blog]

My cafe racer.

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #309: Evaluation Apprehension

Look at the mighty buildings

Skyscrapers reaching high

But even they fall to an earthquake

Rebuild, rebuild, rebuild. 

But with what? All was in the structure before it.  But rebuild, rebuild, rebuild! 

It doesn't matter the circumstance. 

But even the moon is bound by gravity.  Even the stars have a maker.  So, why exude in-dependency when no such thing exists? Yet, scorned am I to what others say.  All opinions reaching for an answer, as to why I am enslaved.  Sequencing too frequent to ignore.  I'm the problem. Am I the problem? 

Yes, I'm the problem, but am I?

Injustice is a word for bitter folk. And I cling to it dearly, 

Scared I haven't gotten my fair share. 

Explaining does nothing.  Anymore, I'm too scared to attempt. 

I'm scratched: a broken record. 

And no one wants to hear the same song.  Again, again, again. 

[cosmokramers-deactivated2018091]

[pacem-pictura-deactivated201601]

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #308: Promises! Promises!

End of the story: The girl ends up like everyone else I have ever met. If you care to read on, that's cool too. 

This girl and I, that I have talked about most recently, decided to just stay friends for the time being. She said, "Jake, you are so smart, talented, witty, passionate, and amazing. I really do care about you, and I don't want to lose that. I really do care about you, and I will always be here for you."

She meant it.....at the time. I tried talking to her later, but she never seemed to respond unless she needed to complain about her own problems. I ignored the dynamic. After all, she promised me. She made that commitment. I told her previously, "Cam, I can't trust you. I just can't. There were so many people before you that said the same thing that went." She was so sure, so adamant, that I believed her. I believed her like a fool. I wanted to believe her. Why did I believe her? 

She had back surgery. She said she would invite me over during her recovery. She said her mom asks about me. I tried texting her, letting her know that I hoped she was doing well. I didn't want to bother her though. She needed to recoup. Her texts were minimal, but I understood. She's recovering. However, as she got better, her responding got worse. I didn't even hear from her. As weeks went by, I fumbled with this situation. Finally, after a week without hearing from her at all I ask,

"Did I do something wrong? You seem to be avoiding me." "Nope. I just go through periods of reclusion. It has nothing to do with you."

"If that was the case, then why hang out with (insert friend's name here)."

"You don't know the situation or why." "Okay, I'm just juxtaposing what you're saying versus doing. I think I have a right to ask that, including when you said, 'I'm always here for you.'"

"Well I'm sorry you felt that way."

I wasn't getting anywhere with her. She wouldn't talk to me. She made excuses that she was busy while she was recovering hanging out with other friends or family.  In a moment of frustration, I said, "What the heck, Cam?!? What's the deal?" I want her to just tell me. Just let it all be over so things can get back to normal.  "Nothing! I simply said I was sorry that you felt that way." "It's like ever since your back surgery you've been acting so strange. And you won't even discuss it with me."

"Because there's nothing to discuss! I've literally been at my parents house for two weeks recovering." (Not true.) "I've just been trying to talk to you, and I feel like I've been getting the cold shoulder." "Well anytime you have texted me, I replied. I don't know what else to tell you."

"That isn't true. I texted you Friday night and you said nothing."

"I never got it. I'm sorry," said the girl that always checked her phone every minute.  "Okay." And that was it. She never said anything back. All the times she called me crying or needed emotional support, I was there. I was there.  How in the fucking world does this happen to me again and again? Am I that repulsive? Exactly the day after, a guy I know, that she's friends with, asks her if she wants to have lunch soon. She replies, "I'm available really anytime! Let's do it whenever!" They then plan to set it up, all in the great medium that Facebook is. When I saw it, it broke my heart. It broke me down. I don't even know why. Here was a girl that I had genuinely cared for and admired, and she shattered my perception. It still hurts when I think about it even now.  She lied to me. She used me as a crutch when she felt bad, and then threw me away when I no longer served a purpose. I felt worthless. I absolutely felt worthless.  And when I tell anyone about this over-arching pattern, they don't understand. It seems queer to them, like this is atypical. It's not.  Albert Einstein says, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." I'm insane. I have to be. But shouldn't I trust someone? Shouldn't everyone have that special person to talk to? I guess I don't deserve it, or maybe I'm not good enough. The one constant through all of these people is me. I don't know how. I look for every avenue for self-improvement, yet they all fade away. Why am I so deplorable that I can't manage to hold someone's attention for more than 2 minutes talking about something that's personal to me, yet 30 minute talk session is completely acceptable when it comes to the other person? The hypocrisy kills me, every day a little more twisting of the knife. 

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #307: Because Birthdays Only Come Once A Year

        It's been almost a year since I have talked to my dad at all. I've been okay with that. However, he wanted to e-mail me for my birthday: a simple message. I actually replied but with a much different intention. At the end of the message, I asked for a birthday wish. 

        He replied ecstatically, surprised I even had responded at all, our paths rarely having crossed in a very long time (for very specific reasons). He wanted to know what I wanted for my birthday, because for the last two years, I hadn't asked for anything or wanted him to get me anything. He was always about what he could buy. We never had much money growing up, but once he got it, objects were never a problem. That became all he desired, desires, and it hasn't changed. Before I start, I want everyone to read the note. (Whenever I put personal, specific material out there, I always seem to get blow back due to misunderstanding of previous events or perspective.)

Note: All of the following I mention in my letter isn't bias or folk-lore. It's real. These things really did happen.

"My birthday wish is derived from the following scenario that is predicated on several months of observation and inactivity on my part. I finally wish to speak about it.

Whenever, I talk or visit with my mother, I always ask, "Mom, how are you?" She always sighs and says, "I'm doing fine." I know this not to be the truth, so I ask her. She eventually admits about a new scuffle between you and her. Now, I know that she has habit, as do I, of things getting to her unneedingly. Sometimes, she picks out things that you have said or done and rebukes them. I tell her no, that I don't agree with that, but I understand how she feels. Those little feelings, in turn, are representative of much larger things happening.

Stories about bombardments of text messages, petty behavior, and unequivocal expectations all come back to me. Those things, that seem to happen on a daily basis, prevent her from any peace of mind. One could say, Well, that's just her fault for reacting that way. But is it? Threatening to kick my mother out of her home, saying that she hardly does anything because she doesn't have a 'real' job, micromanaging her school assignments with harsh analysis. No wonder she finally screamed at you. For such a good mother that you claim her to be, you treat her horribly, for little to no justification. It bothers me to no end how rude, callous, and manipulative you have been to my mother. Heck, even your mother.

I know this divorce hasn't been easy for any of us. However, I feel like out of everybody in our family, the person that got the best deal was you. You got the wife you wanted. You got the house you wanted. You get the vehicles you want. Most things that you can tangibly have, you have. That's not conjecture, that's just how it is. And those are your choices. There's nothing wrong with most of those things. However, what is wrong is trying to take even more of what my family has. When is it enough for you? When will it ever be enough for you?

You got to make your decision and then we had to suffer the consequences for the choices you made. Why are you back for more? Do you need more money to buy more things? Is my mother that awful of a person? Do you not want Jack to be in a stable, home-schooled environment? I just don't understand what kind of person feels the need to take away more than what's already been taken.

So, in summary, this is what I want:

My birthday wish has three conditions

1. Let Mom put the house on the market for 30 days for a higher price. (If you had let her do this originally, it would have already been marked down by now) 2. Pull the lawsuit or legal eviction you are trying to do.  3. Don't talk to Mom about this and explain what I am doing. Just simply do it.

I don't want to hear the long rants filled with cuss words, trying to prove me wrong, or the "but you don't understand's". You have asked me what I wanted, and this is what I really want. I can't stand idly by anymore watching my mother get flustered and hurt. If you truly love me, like you say, you'll do this manageable thing for me. It really would mean a lot.

Sincerely, Jake" As strongly worded as this message was, my father was never for weak-worded people; he was always blunt, not mixing words. These drastic measures come in the presence of drastic times. Truly, I hope all of this stops. Maybe it will. After all, birthdays only come once a year. 

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #306: 4Things NOT To Say To Someone Who Has Depression

I found this in a pamphlet from an organization called National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). I've personally been told all of them and stand by Dr. Ami Claxton-Harris's statements 100%

"But you have so much to be happy about." I started with this one because this is the phrase I disliked hearing most. I know what good things are in my life, and I still feel depressed despite all of these good things. In fact, this statement nearly always has the opposite of its intended effect. Here is instead what I heard: "You have all these great things in your life and you're still depressed? You must be ungrateful and something is really wrong with you.” It ends up feeling like an accusation rather than the comfort it is intended to be. I am aware of these good things, but am hurting in spite of all the good things in my life.

"You can get through this, you are so strong." No, I'm not, or I wouldn't feel this way. I may become strong again some day, but right now, I'm not strong. I'm weak and I need help. And that's okay.

“I know how you feel.” No, you don't. This nearly always comes off as condescending unless you have personally been through a true, deep, clinical depression in your past.

“How are you?” Unless you are passing me in the produce aisle, please don’t ask me how I’m doing. I’m not doing well, and if you ask me, I’ll lie and answer automatically that I’m fine.

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #305: A Different, Christian Perspective On Gay Marriage

When it comes to my political opinions, I hold them pretty close. It's typically unproductive to talk about such things, usually known by hurt feelings or raised voices. However, this issue, among with many others, I have decided to briefly take on and explain.  Let's not be coy. I'm a Christian. I believe homosexuality is a sin (but so is lying, cursing, stealing, gossiping, etc.) If we we're to make a bar graph of which sin is committed more often, I would conclude gossiping to be immeasurably higher than homosexuality. That being said, I find it so odd that people give more negative attention and outcast to the latter rather than the former.  Why?

Well, your guess is as good as mine. Homosexuality has been around since Old Testament times and Ancient Greece. It's not a new concept. However, the government consenting to it by popular demand has got people in a fury.  Why? Well, it conflicts with their own moral code of conduct. Christians believe that homosexuality is wrong, therefore, it shouldn't be allowed in the United States. But before I go any further, why is marriage so important to the homosexual community?  Besides appreciation and want for marriage based on societal pressure and stigma, the United States government gives benefits to married couples: tax breaks, the ability to visit your loved one in the hospital, ability to have your spouse's finances once he/she has passed on, etc. Through governmental benefits and legal ramifications, spouses get a benefit that singles do not get. This is where the divide begins.  The United States was founded on the belief that all men were created equal. Unfortunately, this didn't play out magically when the Constitution or Declaration of Independence was written (Womens' Sufferage, Civil Rights, freeing of slaves). Nevertheless, it was set forth within the DOI and constitution to  A) Treat people equally

B) Have the ability to pursue our happiness as long as it does not interfere with safety, governmental or personal

C) Freedom of religion (And to not be dictated by another's religion) Unfortunately, for those in the social conservative category, A, B, and C can only applied as long as it fits with their own personal doctrine (i.e. Christianity).  While operating one's self under the principles of a divine power is inherently good (in my belief system), taking those principles and implementing it forcibly to others is not. This idea can be expounded to most things in general.  So, as of right now, you have people unable to get married, predicated on a moral mindset of a religion.  No matter what issue this extends out to, this shouldn't be able to happen.  While I am governed by a higher order, and choose to follow His teachings, I cannot force an individual to believe the same way. Hypothetically, even if I did force them, would that make them any more likely to be a Christian or come to Christ? Nope. In fact, God let's us Christians chose our own sin over him. Why does that concept not apply to others? Gay marriage does not affect anyone else's life but theirs. It doesn't inflict damage or threaten safety concerns. People automatically assume that voting 'Yes' for gay marriage means that you morally affirm it and find it good. That's not the case. Voting 'yes' means that you understand that our government was founded on the premise that all should be treated equal in the eyes of our government. You can vote 'yes' for tolerance, not necessarily acceptance. That being said, and my explanation set, let's look at the current options: A) Don't allow gay marriage B) Allow gay marriage

C) Dissolve government-recognized marriage altogether!

Wait, what? 

I'm okay with option B, but I'd rather prefer option C. Historically speaking, marriage is Christian in origins. It's a Christian ritual. In saying that, Christians should have a say in who can get married, when it's their tradition to begin with.  However, this inequality of civil rights has developed due to the government taking a role in marriage. It isn't theirs to define. It isn't theirs to give benefits to.  If we gave marriage back to the churches, dissolved any benefits associated with institutionalized marriage, as well as relegated them to other facets of the government, this moral dilemma wouldn't even have to be addressed.  All parties would be, and could be, satisfied, as long as equal treatment was given to both kinds of couples. As far as implementation goes, I'm unsure of what new policies would arise or laws that would have to be corrected, but I truly believe that if we strip a governmental role in marriage and divvy up the benefits else where, it would limit the bureaucracy of the government as well as satisfy both parties. 

[ateenageguy-blog]

Thought #304: Flying Cars and Good Intentions

I've finally learned to accept the phrase "I will always be here for you." as a compliment, not a promise. 

But I believe that people mean it in the moment, I really do. But follow through? That takes things such as commitment or time, and we wouldn't want to waste such precious resources.

But let me ask you... 

What does it matter if I intend to feed a homeless person, but do not attend to his needs? 

What does it matter if I promise a service, and do nothing to provide that obligation? 

Tell me how much you love me. Tell me how much you care. Tell me how amazing I am. I will respond the same: a genuine smile and nod. But let me fill you in on the truth: You won't always be there. You won't always care.  In fact, it seems to me that the individuals who make such sweeping promises rarely deliver even half of the time. I've, so naively, took stock in people's words, but, dang, they will fail a person every time.  What's worse, I've held people to those promises. How ridiculous of me. When I mention it, they look at me bewildered almost as if saying, "OH, you actually thought I meant that?!?" Well, I did, and when I said it to you, I did. I became so embittered with people, for lying to me, I just decided to break off contact with them altogether. Maybe that was wrong of me to, I don't know. Honesty was always a big part of my life, for better or for worse.  In the campus ministry I am in, I've recently came into a leadership role with in the organization. Sometimes, we have spent hours philosophizing how we can evangelize to the campus. Afterwards, they make jokes and talk about other topics, feeling like we have done something.  Nothing has been done. Why? So much was focused on thinking about our approach, we never even started. I think good intentions are just that, good. We say it in the moment, and it makes us feel good. We've bonded with that person by lending out ourselves for listening, fellowship, and consoling. The rubber never meets the road though, never makes contact: a flying car if you will.  Possibly, I will look back on this blog one day, and say, "Boy, was I cynical!" But I want to remember this truth: A man is not as good as his word. A man is as good as his actions. Do not measure the trustworthiness of a person by anything else but those actions. Do not trust anyone who speaks truth but is unwilling to follow it themselves. Don't trust anyone until they prove it to you.