~uwu~

I WRITE WORDS HERE. youtube.com/smileyranger ~ YouTube @smileyranger1 ~ Twitter geocities.jp/smileyranger3 ~ Internet Forum

[attemptingadventure]

I feel like a master at 30 minute farewells.

I think that it's going to hit me.  It's going to hit me someday that I'm not always going to be on this bed. In this house. With these people. People that I love, a house I rather like, and  a bed that is quite soft.  And I'm worried that someday soon that's going to hit. Like there is going to be some big change that thrusts me out into a place that isn't what I feel is right but ultimately is.  I'm homesick already because I can't pull my head out of the curtain. Keeping it backstage is getting harder, my nose poking through, perhaps a bit of light hitting it. The audience giggles.  Perhaps I need to rip down the curtain and enjoy the thoughts of future with those of now and the past and muddle them all together because I think it would be quite nice.  What doesn't help though, is writing stuff like this.  So I'm going to get up now, off of this bed, and go outside of this house I rather like to be with the people I love. 

[attemptingadventure]

Send me your mind.

I want you to send me asks. I don’t want you to send me asks just because I want to see things in my ask box. I genuinely would love to get messages from you. Stories and thoughts and things that swirl around in your brains that we can share and toss around like those families from hardware store ads tossing a ball in the front yard of their saltbox house from the back lot of some studio. Ask me questions that might not be fun to answer, ones that might hurt a bit. If I don’t answer one I do hope you won’t be offended. I just hope you’ll know that I at least thought about it. And that’s all I want to do with this for now... Keep thought flowing through those that allowed this blob of words to ordain the feed from the blogs they wish to see. So if you ask me a question, I’ll try to answer it.  I might even write you something.

-Ranger

[attemptingadventure]

Let me write about you.

Let me write about you.

Let my mind that won't shut up hold its tongue as your presence provides an escape I must apologize for. 

Remain silent, hum softly, be, and let me write about you. 

Let my muse borrow yours for a while and watch as they run off to go do something i can't imagine but feel physically so vividly as the power to be more than in the precise moment escapes both of us. 

Literally i beg you let me fill my head with air and scrawl my treasured nothings upon the yellowed paper dredged up from a basket of professionalism. 

Can I hum along too because i rather like the song that swirls around your mind. (And when I do get around to writing about you I promise that I will let you peek, but I don't want to because then I think you'll want yourself back.)

[attemptingadventure]

I wish that I knew how to blog in a way that doesn't seem like I am blogging, but rather blog in a way that is me speaking to you and you listening to me speaking to you so fluid like the words of someone you love that you don't think you'll ever see, trickling into your ears like syrup or something you find delectable, stickier than this prose that is not. 

I guess I could try that here.  It is possible that I will be able to make words you will enjoy and share, and return to consume. But, it is more highly possible that my lack of grammatical skill and shoddy syntax will leave you with a lingering bad first impression. 

I will of course cling to the hope that something comes of this though. 

Know that if you do find yourself following this Tumblr page, know that I might potentially persuade others to contribute, preventing you from having my presence flow onto your dash whenever my hands feel inclined to slap they keyboard in a manner pretentious enough for this site held dear to those who post tea mugs, fandoms, and blogs with yiff in the name to sound edgy, not to mention the blogs that contain all of these things in the same post containing only one image drawn by a single hand. 

This is a blog with a layout blander than a hospital wall, the contents resembling an OIan Mills background. 

This is a blog on which I wish I knew how to blog. 

-Ranger. 

[attemptingadventure]

sticker poemthing.

Something feels different and i don't like it ---

i don't like that the sameness feels different.

i don't like that i know that the sameness feels different, 

different than the actual different which is me shoving you out of a chair in the middle of the night, spinning around, tripping over stuff we dropped wherever we felt with a pillow draped over my head while wondering how horses sleep that way. 

It's different than hearing you read things i adore that make me smile weirdly like every character of so many books that i hate, hanging onto every syllable that you let slip forth from wherever it is you get those words. 

This difference hurts because it's not sameness no matter how much i want it to fit the label of that weird clump of letters, because i'm too damn scared to see if it will, so i'll just let it exist as it has and hope that when i'm ready to peel that sticker it'll stick. 

[attemptingadventure]

127 ways to make a pretentious title

I have this box of pictures I took when I was younger. Every so often I go through them and look. There’s 127 of them. 

One hundred twenty-seven images. 

Countless thoughts and memories from a most deliberately counted source.

I don’t like looking at them. 

Not one bit.

Partly because some of them are out of focus and my lack of skills depresses me, and partly because in ten years a lot can happen. 

People die, they get older, and yet, they don’t in the pictures.

I mean, I know that’s kind of the purpose, but... When you exist along with the other person you don’t really notice it. 

When you look at the picture you’re aware of time, things happening, the way time rips everything away and stamps on it like an angry toddler. 

It’s always there like that one Paramore song everyone has heard but never heard and if you remind me that it exists, I won’t be happy. 

Don’t show me the past, and let pretend I’m an infinite being for a little while longer. I’ll do the same for you, and it’s not asking a whole lot, you wonderful potentially existing being whose non-confirmed existence keeps me from going insane. 

[attemptingadventure]