I just spent like the last hour arguing with my parents about HRT, for reference I have the opportunity to start the process like soon(yipeee), but my parents do not want me to. So we arguied and I cried, in a desperate bid I started angry talking about how much I hate my body and all my moments of disphora. I told them that even if they said no right now I was gonna do HRT, and more as soon as I moved out. I asked if they would stop me from going to my dream uni out of fear that I would get gender affirming care, they said my sibling(my sibling goes to my dream uni) would be there, I said my does not care one hoot, my parents than said that at least my sibling would be there to support me?? Like ok so they do not want me to do it at all, but they know im gonna as soon as I like physically can, and are glad I will have support?? Its weird?? Uhh and then I was like and I am gonna change my name and start top surgery process, and as I cried I told them I was not gonna be able to tell them any of this until after it happened, like I will not be able to tell them I started HRT or changed my name or got top surgery till after. And I was like you would get so pissed if I did that, and they acknowledged that they would if I did HRT and changed my name without them knowing. BUT, they said if I got top surgery they would prefer me to tell them before so they could support?? shocking. Like i had not even thought of that, I mean unless something drastic changes between then and now I am not telling them at all until after the fact. Also I cried a lot about how I will never be their son. And tehy tried to insinuate my friends made me Queer. What sucks some more is that legally I can go on HRT without parental permission, but like logistically I can't. Also they fully know as soon as I move out I am getting the gender affirming care as soon as I like can, I also already have a gender clinic too??
Then things calmed down and I was just telling them about my queer identity and how I think of myself and stuff and then I got to the part where I was like yeah I like guys and girls, and my parents were like??? Cus I do not really tell them thinsg they only know ive had a crush on one guy. So and then my mother asked how sex would work with my bits. And it was like.. NO??? WE DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE THAT CONVERSATION. She insinuated it was fine if I had sex with a guy, and that she was so confused about how it would work with a girl. WHICH ONCE AGAIN, DOES NOT NEED TO HAPPEN?? And then she started yapping about my family members sex lives. SO OVERALL UNCOMFORTABLE. VERY. WHERE IS THE BRAIN BLEACH???
