You weren't listening anyway, right?

This is my personal space where I go to speak my mind openly without others getting in the way. | 18+ | Autistic | Mute | Agender | You don't know me, I don't know you. Best we keep it that way, don't you think?

[atypical-irritant]

Pinned Intro

About Me

You can call me Rose. I am an agender, sex ambivalent aroace individual. Singular they/them pronouns are preferred.

My interests include psychology, horror/gore, reading, gardening, and watching documentaries (yes, I'm a blast at parties). Sarcasm aside, while I do prefer solitary activities, I'm not entirely devoid of social interests. They're just not my forte, I suppose. My generally apathetic nature is not typically well-received. I'm also mute, so that tends to complicate things.

Content

This blog is my way of expressing the thoughts and opinions I otherwise wouldn't have the chance to voice. Mainly, I focus on topics involving mental illness and neurodivergency, especially those I have personal experience with such as autism, DID, and various personality disorder things. There's some other topics as well, such as things pertaining to gender identity as well as youth liberation. Occasionally, I'll reblog memes, too. They help split up all the heavy shit.

I'm open to civil disagreements and am more than happy to hear oppositional sides to most topics. That said, if you in no way intend to be respectful or you view any attribute about me as inherently immoral, predatory, or any other negative stereotypes one can think up, then by all means try me. Just know I don't value your opinions whatsoever and will respond accordingly. It's only fair, seeing as you don't value my existence.

Tags

Tagging isn't my strong suit but I will occasionally use them when I see fit, mostly for my own organisational purposes. You may ask me to tag something but, considering some of the things I'll put here, I suggest more sensitive people simply steer clear.

That said, my personal tags are:

#my post - Posts I've written.

#tag tangents - Commentary was added in the tags rather than the post itself. Get digging.

#reblog reply rebuttal - Additions and responses to previous posts.

#age is a chronological construct - Discussions about the complicated dynamics of different life stages or what parts age plays in society.

#hate never changes - Discussions about hate groups or the act of bigotry and prejudice-inspired behavior or thoughts.

#the kids are not alright - Topics pertaining to the struggles children endure and what damage trauma and mistreatment have on future behavior.

#fighting fire with fire - Counter discourse and general aggressive backlash against inflammatory posts.

I do try to use community tags whenever applicable. Tags will be added to this list as needed.

Lastly, I don't, nor will I ever, have a DNI. To me, they just paint a target on your back for anyone to know precisely what will upset you, nothing more. As welcoming as I am towards hate mail, it's much more satisfying to me if it's fueled by something I've said rather than some silly list.

[genderkoolaid]

btw "you are allowed to hate your oppressor" is about Your Personal Feelings As An Individual. that you are allowed to have whatever feelings you have about your experience being oppressed, and the fact that rage and hatred can be a powerful motivator to break away from the status quo and engage in revolutionary action against oppression, does not mean that no one is allowed to criticize an approach to liberation that is centered on rage and hatred given the very well recorded downsides to such an approach.

like "well POC are allowed to hate white people so women are allowed to hate men!" yeah and also, Malcom X himself realized he was wrong to disregard allyship with white people because coalition building between working class people of different races was actually quite important to overthrowing racial capitalism. plenty of feminists activists (particularly women of color, bisexuals, trans people, sex workers) have criticized feminism for separatism and gender essentialism and reluctance to form necessary coalitions across gender to meaningfully resist racist capitalist patriarchy.

none of this means You The Individual are not allowed to feel the emotion of hate in response of oppression, or that that emotion needs to be suppressed or stigmatized or shouldn't help motivate your resistance. but it's just naive and shortsighted to stop your revolutionary thought there.

[lastoneout]

I love when people try to gotcha me on my stance that all sports should be gender integrated with "even American football???" because I can instantly come back with "oh lmao, no, I don't think ANYONE should play American football at all, it's way too dangerous" like nice try but I know no amount of testosterone is going to protect you from the profound, life ruining health issues caused by getting repeated severe concussions over the course of several years. No one should play this sport.

[lastoneout]

Like do you really think muscle mass or gender/sex can protect you from CTE?? You think men are naturally more resistant to concussions?? Because idk how else you square this sport being too dangerous for cis women and people afab but perfectly safe for cis men and people amab. Having a testosterone dominant endocrine system isn't gonna do shit in the face of traumatic brain injury. Be serious. This sport should not exist.

[lastoneout]

Honestly it's pretty weird to me that people dismiss the harm football players go through as fine because they're men, especially when so many players are black men. Always remember the argument that women are weaker than men is also an argument that men are stronger than women and can withstand more injury and abuse which isn't true, and absolutely ties into eugenicist beliefs about black bodies while obscuring their suffering as not existing because they're men and football is only dangerous for women, so how could they be hurt?

Systems can exploit men too, especially non-white or otherwise marginalized men who also deserve to be defended and liberated from said system's devaluation of their humanity and mistreatment.

[lastoneout]

@lunammoon over here saying what I tried to way more eloquently, thank you o7 no one should be subjected to the Hell Spiral 3000!!!!

[ftmtftm]

Frankly I think a lot of Tumblr users think there is no overlap between trans women and gay men like there is between trans men and lesbians 1. because RuPaul did a great job intentionally convincing at least two generations of baby queers that gay men and trans women don't share culture because he's a transmisogynist piece of shit who intentionally kept trans women off Drag Race for years - shattering the perception of our community overlap in the eyes of the mainstream, 1.5. and that culture he cultivated in the mainstream made you afraid of drag as an art so you're uncurious about it, and 2. you're afraid of learning about balls because they're not sanitized white queer culture.

[sailermoon]

huge shout out to this little kid for writing my favorite poem

[gandalfsbignaturals]

learning to notice an absence of people of color is crazy. you start seeing it everywhere. ill see a random pic of characters or people or whatever and be like "these are all white people. why"

[gandalfsbignaturals]

all the babies in those baby youtube video memes. humanized character posts. like. its the little innocent shit. and like, the people making those baby memes probably arent seeking out white babies. maybe theyre just easier to find. but why are they easier to find? a complicated question, surely... but you know what it probably comes down to. someone, somewhere, maybe a lot of someones in a lot of places, made a choice. maybe knowingly, maybe not. but they made a choice. it starts to make you feel like a conspiracy theorist!!

[gandalfsbignaturals]

its really funny that after 2 months this post is still making racists come into my askbox treating me like im a horrible person for pointing out that sometimes people of color are excluded from things in visible and offputting ways. cry about it

[grimbarbarityposting]

12 Angry Men is nearly seventy years old and it absolutely holds up. Examine your prejudices. Take your civic duty seriously. Look for the lie in what you’ve been told. Ignore the loudmouth in the stupid hat. Pay attention when they’re trying to pin shit on those people.

When they all get up one by one and turn their backs on the racist prick? Perfection.

“Prejudice always obscures truth.”

[caffeinewitchcraft]

A 75 yo man proudly came into the cafe wearing an Ultra Maga hat. I excused my barista from the register to handle the transaction.

"The hat is customizable," he said, struggling with the velcro patch on the front. "If I need it, I have an ICE one too. I pick based off the business i walk into."

"Customizable is an important hat descriptor," I said. "what can I get you?"

"You wouldn't believe how offended people get these days," he said. "And I'm supposed to do something about it if you're offended? You chose to be offended!"

"We all have hundreds of thousands of decisions everyday," I said. I thickened my accent. "That's what my stepdad always said. But I can make one easier - we have a delicious Ethiopian roast available."

"Like if I told you you have a bull ring," he said, "because bulls have rings in their noses. Is that offensive?"

I laughed. "I've heard that before."

"It's a joke, but people get offended. Maybe you're offended."

I looked at him. I smiled. "You aren't trying to offend me though, right?"

Of course he was. I was being friendly and the friendlier I was, the faster he switched topics. He was saying anything inflammatory he could think of to see if I'd take the bait. After about 20 minutes of my redirecting and deescalating, he settled into a more normal interaction. He took up too much of my time showing me a product I'd feigned mild interest in to get him to stop talking about getting accused of inappropriate behavior at work. When we finally disengaged, he spent 10 minutes trying to catch my eye again. When he failed, he left.

There's this new breed of customer who insists on trying to incite political conversation through their clothing and, when that doesnt work, their snide little comments. If I owned my own business, maybe I would have given the guy the fight he wanted. But I work for a corporation and I love paying my bills so I deescalated.

Anyone wearing that type of shit and preying on workers for their own spank bank material is a brainless fucking sheep.

[captain-price-returns]

[superchat]

there was a great study a few years that went into the whole "ppl online are bigger jerks than irl cuz theres a virtual wall and no repercussions" and the researchers were expecting to see that be the case but it turns out that people who were really angry or argumentative online were also found to just be assholes in person and people who were pretty patient and nice online were found to be patient and nice in real person as well

and it just debunked that whole cynical idea that people will naturally be mean if theres no punishment for it

[superchat]

source another source

the researchers found that being online didnt make people more hostile, but that being online allowed already hostile people to dominate forum conversations, and the less aggressive people were much less likely to reply or engage, ending in just the aggressive people bickering at eachother

[f3nces-h0ld-m3]

if you don't respond to my text immediately you should die. if you are upset i didn't respond to your text for a month you should die.

[yesornopolls]

Do you believe that the saxophone is a brass instrument?

Do you believe that the saxophone is a brass instrument?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 12 hours 30 minutes

[caterjunes]

"The view of most scholars (see organology) is that the term "brass instrument" should be defined by the way the sound is made, as above, and not by whether the instrument is actually made of brass. Thus one finds brass instruments made of wood, like the alphorn, the cornett, the serpent and the didgeridoo, while some woodwind instruments are made of brass, like the saxophone." - Wikipedia

[cenneidi]

do it grieving

[cenneidi]

do it while the ground falls out from under you; do it while everything you loved goes up in smoke; do it while the dream of your future is still burning embers around you; build anew on the hot ashes of everything you worked for; keep going, keep loving, keep living, even as all you want is to turn back (there is no turning back; it is gone already); do it through grief, which feels like fear in the body

do it grieving

[cenneidi]

The tag I have seen most often on this post is "I needed to hear this," and I am so, so grateful to have said something that was needed. These words came out of the depths of my own grief, and I am so grateful to have made this small connection with others in the midst of it. Grief is isolating and indescribable, but none of us are alone.

That said, these tags were what I needed to hear:

we're all gonna make it

it's okay if you can't see how yet. you don't have to believe in better. for now it is enough to just keep going, and eventually the path will emerge. you are not alone. you are not lost in the woods forever. keep going. I love you.

[satanfemme]

I don't like it when people are trying to (even sympathetically) explain why teenagers can sometimes have emotional volatility as "well they're just biologically stupid and angry and bad because of their hormones and underdeveloped brain" with no mention to be found of the fact they're also still trapped in an incredibly oppressive environment 24/7.

working 12+ hour days for school without pay or the right to "switch jobs" to something better, often working a real job on top of that, still the legal property of their parents, can't even dye their own hair or use their own name or have a door to their own room in many many cases. yeah I would be at the end of my rope too, especially when dealing with the adults in my life who are enacting and/or facilitating the abuse! it feels pretty glaring to ignore this dynamic when talking about the strained emotional capacity of teenagers. did you forget? what it was like to not have the right to your own life yet? to be hurt 24/7? and then to have your (extremely reasonable!!!) emotional reactions dismissed as pure hysteria?

purely anecdotally, I'm also not convinced that teenagers are "biologically" more prone to volatility in a meaningfully distinct way tbh. thinking back to the people I knew as a teen vs the people I've known in adulthood, in both demographics there have been people prone to lashing out, and people who were completely stoic, and the differences between the two groups have always seemed to be split not along age or hormonal makeup but along life experiences and who had better support structures. (but again this is anecdotal, and somewhat besides the point. because even if there is a non-pseudoscience biologically provable difference in teenagers' brains that make them universally moodier across the board, perhaps they could better manage their own moods if they weren't being crazy abused as an entire class with no legal ability to escape.)

[knownqueerbaiter]

idk who needs to hear this but it’s healthier for you to just accept that you’re gonna be kinda fat than it is to live the rest of your life miserably trying to monitor yourself to maintain a skinny weight your body doesn’t want to hold onto

[knownqueerbaiter]

“nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” what feels even better is living a life where your self-worth isn’t entirely dependent on your thinness and you don’t constantly monitor and shame yourself. attaching the tweet that was worth at least five hours of therapy for me

[hopegrasping]

Let go of the idea that diy will inherently look shit. All your clothes are handmade you just don't see the people doing it.

[hopegrasping]

One of the best additions that gets my point across better :)

[darqueloaf]

There's a group that makes clothing with ink stained hands to show each time the fabric was touched with human hands to make the garment. The purpose of the piece is to bring attention to the hidden labor of sewists in the garment industry

ABOUT | HUMAN TOUCH

ABOUT

[elfwreck]

To be fair - while all your clothing was made by "a person on a sewing machine," many of those sewing machines

Aren't easily available to you, and

Take a notable amount of training to use (especially, to use without damage to your hands) (Not "months of training." Just. Not "here's the instruction pamphlet; have fun.")

However: The sewing machines that are reasonably available to you, will make clothes you can wear and enjoy wearing. (Industrial sewing machines can sew for 8, 10, 18 hours without breaking down; the one you buy at WalMart cannot. Some industrial ones can sew through 4 layers of denim; you can find a machine that does that but you won't get it by accident and it will cost more. And so on.)

Basic sewing machine - enough to get started making clothes - is under $200. (Industrial machines start at ~$2000 and go up from there.) Super Ultra Cheap version is under $100; not recommended unless you know you'll be able to throw $350 at the hobby in a couple of years when the simple one is just really too limited anymore.

...Anything under $50 (new) is A Gimmick. They're not all worthless but they're very limited. They're more "you can learn how a sewing machine works with this" than "you can make clothes with this." (I mean. You can. But you can make clothes with a needle & thread, too. And while it takes longer, you may be less frustrated than using a $45 "beginner sewing machine.") Some of the gimmick machines are very useful for their specific purpose - they're ultra-portable, or good for repairs, and so on.

But if you are on a very limited budget - less than $50 can get you started on making clothes. And bookbags. And pockets to add to clothes you already have. And hats. Bathing suits, if you decide to get ambitious. (Stretchy fabrics are challenging, esp on a simple machine.)

You can make socks with a sewing machine but I really don't recommend it.

Shifting public thoughts on sewing machines from "every third household has one" to "exotic crafting hobby" is part of how the damn capitalist regime forces people to put up with clothes that don't fit actual human shapes and/or fall apart after 5 washings.

[grison-in-space]

Also, sewing machines are one of those things that is often much better to buy used, because in the old days they used metal gears and now the gears are nylon and don't last as long. If you want to get a sewing machine and dabble, I highly suggest looking on Craigslist or at estate sales for a used one. Mine cost me $30 and would have gone for much more, adjusted for inflation, when it was new. But people inherit sewing machines or want to give them away all the time, so it is very worth checking on the used market near you if you want to get into sewing clothes but aren't sure where to start. You can often get a lot more sewing machine for your buck than if you buy a new one.

[miss-m-winks]

And make sure your sewing machines get cleaned and serviced regularly! Like once or twice a year. Either find a sewing machine reparist in your area or learn how to do it yourself. My mom repairs sewing machines and boy the gunk you find when a machine has been in use for years without maintenance.

[uniformedwater]

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all