The patriarchy cannot motivate an otherwise innately good man to assault, rape or kill a woman, like people seem to want to believe. The cruelty must already be in him. He fuels the patriarchy with his actions, and the patriarchy serves to endorse his cruelty and provide him with the means to successfully execute it, but doesn't create his depravity in the first instance. The patriarchy cannot psychically compel a “soft, gentle man” to go against his true nature and become a violent rapist, he must already have the capacity to be one.
That’s why I criticise the way the “patriarchy” has evolved into a convenient scapegoat that redirects blame away from men and towards a toxic ideology instead. It’s become a catch-all invisible boogeyman that obfuscates the true perpetrators and benefactors of male violence and aggression. A mysterious force that can apparently compel otherwise good men to commit atrocities.
That it's the reason why 90% of murders, 99% of sexual assaults, and 95% of domestic abusers are men. That men have no personal culpability, really- it's nurture, not nature.
It turns the issue of male violence into a general societal problem that everyone’s complicit in, and everybody suffers equally from. It’s become a passive way of discussing the sex-based oppression women face.
People seem to forget that the patriarchy is directly tied to men. It was created by men, for the benefit of men, and relies on the participation of men.