Bert S. Lechner

Cosmic Horror Author and Poet on the Autism Spectrum

[unpretty]

The Outbursts of Everett True was a comic strip that ran in papers from 1905 to 1927, wherein the aforementioned Everett True regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude. Men have not only been taking up too much room on public transport for about as long as public transport has existed, but the people around them have been irritated about it for at least a hundred years. The next time someone tries to claim that manspreading is a false phenomenon, please direct them to this strip so that Everett True can correct their misconceptions with an umbrella upside the head.

[guyalice]

I have never before heard of Everett True, but if he “regularly beat the everliving shit out of rude people as a warning to anyone else who might consider being rude,” I have a strong spiritual connection with him.

[froginakettle]

[hotcocoachia]

I fucking love him

[jaynavajasso]

i can imagine this guy’s voice very clearly in my head but i couldn’t put a name to it 

[iamtypinglike98madmen-deactivat]

He also jabs racists in the eye!

[tumblunni]

I love the justice grandpa of fists

[cursedcharley]

I’m very lucky to own a book that’s a collection of most of these comics (sadly not all of them) and would highly recommend hunting these down if you can. Sorry for the lack of a scanner but phone photos will just have to do.

He was a enjoyable cuss who didn’t care for war mongering.

Especially profitable war mongering and excuses for it!

He certainly didn’t like selfish husbands and fathers!

Politicians who turned on their words once they got theirs weren’t safe.

He said fuck the police!

He absolutely didn’t like people ruining little things for kids.

He stood up for foreigners. Especially those doing their best to communicate with limited second language knowledge.

He was not having any tomfoolery when it came to gun safety and laws. Especially with youth involved.

You had better not abuse a animal with him nearby. He’d right that wrong real quick!

And best of all him and his wife were both prickly cusses together. Relationship goals.

[biglawbear]

I have a new role model

[briarchubnj]

😍

[runcibility]

“justice grandpa of fists”

[arquus-malvaceae-deactivated202]

It’s nice to see a fat dude in a political cartoon that’s NOT being used as shorthand for greed and corruption.

[charismat1c-megafauna]

Hes like the personification of motherfucker unlimited

[bogleech]

Reblogging this newer version of this thread with so many more strips I haven’t seen…why did this character ever disappear. Where did you go, Everett.

[tramampoline]

we need him more than ever…

[sarabeth72]

Grandpa Fuck Around & Find Out. Love him.

[albertothechihuahua]

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

[urfavrib]

OH GREAT MONEY DOG

pls 👉👈

[teaboot]

"I don't believe Tarot is real, but it does work"

Expand on that, king (genuinely curious)

I feel like…

okay, so it’s a lot like conceptual art, or like introspective meditation, at the risk of sounding pretentious

Like. It’s not so much about “the cards are a portal to a higher wisdom that knows more than me” thing- it’s more of a, “given the symbols drawn, could I interpret them posing a question or possibility or suggestion?” Followed by, “is this applicable to my current context? COULD it be?”

Like.

I don’t lay out á tarot hand and say “ah yes, the devil and the tower, I am about to be betrayed”

But I MAY lay out a hand and say, “okay, devil and the tower. Something treacherous and danger. Am I approaching a treacherous or risky situation in my life? What might be a tipping factor? Am I being deliberately reckless? Maybe I should spend some more time working on X project I’ e been thinking of before spending money on it” or “you know what, I HAVE been kind of uncomfortable with X thing, I should say something” or “yeah okay I KNOW Tom from work sucks to work with, I KNOW, yeah maybe I should consider ways of handling that”

Less of a magic oracle, more of a tool for doing literary analysis on real life. Like simplifying everything and laying it out flat so I can gain some distance to untangle my problems without in-your-head crap like projected feelings and social obligation getting in the way and muddying the waters.

So like. I don’t think tarot cards can legit tell the future, but I DO think that self-reflection, mindfulness, and consideration sometimes allow us to predict and calculate our own circumstances.

So, IMO- It’s not real. But it works

If that makes sense

[stuckinapril]

Has anyone figured out what’s so viscerally wrong with this woman yet

[stuckinapril]

She’s so one dimensionally evil you guys 😭😭 how is she real

[mintedwitcher]

read this and remember it. read this and remember that she is going to use the profits of her fucking ego-stroking reboot to decimate trans rights. read this and remember that every time you pay into her IP, you are emboldening her to hurt us more.

our lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.

trans lives matter more than your fucking nostalgia.

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[icantbearsedtothinkofone]

Hey Potato, cure my -ing cold so I can have a good time while away.

[dduane]

Here's the potato. Make what use of it you will. :)

[block]

reblog if you need a hug

[northerlygale-deactivated202307]

Reblog to give the person you reblogged this from a much needed hug

[authorbertslechner]

Today I add 'published poet' to my list of accolades! a broken vase, envenomed, is my first poetry collection, and the first time I've ever published any sort of poetry. You may know me for my works in cosmic horror, but this book is in a rather different tangent, and far more personal. I was emotionally abused for nine years by an intimate partner, and after years of processing and healing I decided I wanted to share my story, in the hopes that it would help other people in their healing journeys. This poetry collection is about surviving abuse, but, more importantly, it is about healing from and thriving after abuse, and how hard and bumpy of a journey that healing process is.

It'd mean a lot to me if you'd give it a read, and if you're a survivor like I am, I hope it helps you feel seen, validated, and strong.

You can find a broken vase, envenomed at any indie bookstore that uses bookshop.org for their online sales, and it's also available on kindle unlimited.

[djuvlipen]

Oh hey it's the 2nd of August. It's international Romani genocide memorial day. 79 years and still the vast majority of countries don't give a fuck about it nor recognize it. Hell on Earth everywhere

[djuvlipen]

It's been 80 years since the Nazis liquidated the Romani family camp in Auschwitz, killing 4,000 people in a single night. Most countries don't recognize it and most European countries continue to treat us like shit

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[icantbearsedtothinkofone]

Hey Potato, cure my -ing cold so I can have a good time while away.

[dduane]

Here's the potato. Make what use of it you will. :)

[authorbertslechner]

O glorious auric tuber, grace me with your starchy fortune.

[authorbertslechner]

Another breakfast ruined ...

The Roots Grow Into the Earth is over 15% off on Amazon for all of June, and I'll be donating a portion of my royalties per sale to the Trevor Project at the end of the month.

If you like cosmic horror go check it out!

[authorbertslechner]

A look inside my upcoming poetry collection about surviving, healing from, and thriving after abuse. This poetry collection releases August 6th, 2024. Writing it helped me so much in working through my emotions after escaping an abuser, and I really hope reading it will help other people get through their own healing journey.

Special thanks to Fido for allowing me to take photos with him.

[litttleprincess-deactivated2017]

dont ever hesitate. reblog this.

[iwillachieve]

Depression Hotline: [phone]

Suicide Hotline: [phone]

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: [phone]

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

Trans LifeLine: 1-877-565-8860

Human Trafficking Hotline: [phone]

Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone]

BDSM Partner Abuse Hotline: [phone]

Substance Abuse Helpline: [phone]

[lightnight19]

Please be safe everyone <3

[authorbertslechner]

Happy Pride Month, everyone. No matter where you fall on the gender/sexuality spectrum, I see you, I welcome you, and I support you.

[authorbertslechner]

The first proof of my next book has arrived! It absolutely needs some tweaking, but I'm happy with the general layout.

a broken vase, envenomed is a collection of poetry about surviving, healing from, and thriving after abuse. I wrote the poems during my own journey of healing after escaping intimate partner violence, and I've chosen to publish them and share my story to help others with their healing journeys. If you like poetry, and feel like this sort of collection would speak to you, I'm currently distributing free Advanced Reader Copies of the book through Booksirens, and you can check it out there: https://booksirens.com/book/PFFJ4QS/X3TWBXZ

You can also check out what ARC readers have said so far on Goodreads:

a broken vase, envenomed

From 2011 to 2020, Bert S. Lechner was emotionally and …

[authorbertslechner]

a broken vase, envenomed: Release Date, ARCs, and Editions

Advanced Reader Copies are now available for my poetry collection about surviving, healing from, and thriving after emotional abuse. Read on for details.

My next solo publication is a broken vase, envenomed: a short poetry collection about surviving, healing from, and thriving after emotional abuse, based on my own experiences as a survivor of intimate partner violence.a broken vase, envenomed, will be releasing August 6th, 2024, in eBook and paperback formats.The paperback edition comes with quite a few extra blank pages that I hope readers will…

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[prokopetz]

Today's aesthetic: cosmic horror tabletop RPGs from the 1980s whose creators wrote the "madness rules" by simply plagiarising a list of disorders and their descriptions from the DSM-II and turning it into a d100 lookup table, except the DSM-II still listed "homosexuality" as a mental disorder (it wasn't removed until the DSM-III), with the result that there are several published tabletop RPGs where there's a small but non-zero chance that seeing Cthulhu will make you gay.

[astras-rambles-moved]

WIP Questionnaire

tagged by @coffeewritesfiction, thank you!

tagging @mthollowell-writes @bertwriteshorror @marrowwife @elizaellwrites and whoever else wants to do this!

Blank questions below the cut.

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

It started because I was fascinated by the concept of a church grim/cemetery guardian dog spirit, and I wanted to do something set in southeast Missouri because I have a lot of personal connections to the area and I've spent a lot of time there. So the story came from a combination of those images/vibes.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I can't think of any specific songs, but it would definitely be something folk song-ish about ghosts or forgotten cemeteries.

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

Aside from my MC, definitely Will. (Wilhelmina, but no one ever calls her that.) She's an old woman who lives by herself in a middle of nowhere farmimg area. She can fix a tractor by looking at it, makes the best iced tea you've ever tasted, knows the history and urban legends of the area better than anyone around, and tells the best campfire stories.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

So the two things I'm taking inspiration from for vibes/mood/aesthetic are the podcast Old Gold of Appalachia and The Twisted Ones by T Kingfisher. They're both significantly more horror than this one is going to be, but I am kind of targeting it at people who like stuff with "rural folklore dark fantasy" vibes, which is probably a similar audience.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

I think.... the length? I'm afraid it's going to turn out super short and I won't have enough plot. But only the first draft will tell.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

EHEHEHEHE

The grim! He's a very good boy despite being a ghost dog made of black mist with glowing red eyes. His owner loved him very much and buried him in the place he himself planned to be buried somewhere around 100 years ago, and the dog has stuck around to guard the cemetery ever since. If you try to desecrate the remains you will get Bitten (and who knows what happens when a ghost dog bites you!) but otherwise he is a Friend.

Also Mora names him Grim because she's uncreative with names. (It's me. I'm uncreative with names. I'm just projecting that onto her.)

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Well, Mora specifically has a shitty old truck that she bought for cheap because she was going to learn to fix it up. She has not learned to fix it up. She has been putting up with this shitty old truck for years now. But someday! Someday she will do it! She might have gotten fond of the truck's quirks in the meantime though.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Outlining. Mostly. Just throwing ideas at a page right now.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

- The whole concept of my MC being bonded with a ghost dog/person who's followed around by a spirit companion

- The overall.... vibes I guess? Of it being set in the US Midwest in farming country, and the fact that it focuses on an old forgotten cemetery.

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

Oh gosh, I really don't know. Although I'd have to say "someone likes it enough to draw fanart of my ghost dog and his human friend" is up there somewhere.

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?