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Orange you glad it isnt another 🍤 bot

[ccrispy]

The Dragneels

[maliinka]

gongyi xiaooo.... ♡

[inthefallofasparrow]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[inthefallofasparrow]

[cheese24k]

[beawtybrat]

anjefkjdjhff 

[rose-valhalla-blog]

lol how they looked at each other when the song started like oh shit this our jam lolol

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

they are teenagers now

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[sceptixfakemon]

im never leaving this hellsite

[sceptixfakemon]

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

[sceptixfakemon]

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

[avidcollectorofdust]

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

[sternfleck]

Thoughts and prayers to my European mutuals suffering under their omega heat

[ralfmaximus]

do NOT google "omega heat"

[chocomiking]

prayers for the people googling "omega heat" for the first time

[pseudomantis]

[is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat]

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

[phaeton-flier]

How about you mind your own damn business

[atomikats]

his first point was going to be “i don’t even get up at night to pee”

[jewfrogs]

falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy

falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs

[nudityandnerdery]

I saw this post on Facebook today, and was gonna make a joke about how he's so good in the lab because, when it comes to experiment samples, he knows you gotta keep 'em separated.

But I happened to search the lyric online really quick, and found this:

AMAZING. It's actually where the line came from! Bravo, sir.

Keep 'em separated

Dexter Holland, the lead singer of the punk-rock band The Offspring, has a lot of different interests. One of them is biology.

[vaspider]

So i jumped out of bed to go tell my wife this (bc she woke up, she has a tendency to wake up around 2 am bc we're different brands of weirdo) & she said, "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me. He also flies their tour plane a lot of the time bc he just really likes flying." Apparently, he holds CFI, CFII, & ATP certifications, so he's not just a pilot. He's rated as an instructor. And he owns a hot sauce brand, bc why not?

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[cipheramnesia]

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

[val-the-bun]

[sankta-wraith]

the original? on my dash?

[ladyshinga]

OceanGate tried to scrub the internet clean of traces that it ever existed, taking down its Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn pages

OceanGate, the deep-sea exploration company that created the Titan submersible, has removed its Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn a

poor things, well we should definitely make this easier on them by never repeatedly mentioning their name and deeds on the "reblog things forever" website

[septicake]

yea that'd be a shame

by the way, just so everyone knows what not to do, shift+r reblogs a post instantly

just make sure you don't reblog anything about oceangate because that would completely undermine their entire plan 😇😇😇

[curoopeez]

You also shouldn't queue a post, that would make people keep remembering this post for a longer time, which is the opposite of forgetting

[kcuf-ad]

Lucy: We are announcing this right here and now! Natsu and I are dating!

Mirajane: Yeah, we already have known.

Lucy: But... we started dating a week ago.

Gray: The fuck were you two doing before that???

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[holyfunnyhistoryherring]

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

[faeblesmith]

important context this person looks and sounds like they’re gonna cry

[lastoneout]

Also important to note that the rooster appears to be roughly the size of a large pigeon.

[lastoneout]

The pigeon people have informed me he is the size of a normal pigeon, or perhaps even a small pigeon. Fucking rip.

[helloitsbees]

How did you give yourself an EAR INFECTION eating pussy

im just gonna screenshot from a text i sent my friends after the doctors visit

[helloitsbees]

you can’t fucking do this to me

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

A Noble Sacrifice

Never has there been a more righteous and honorable way to get an ear infection.

[oneheadtoanother]

idk anything about this but I love it

[lynati]

If any competition needed to be on Tumblr, it's this one.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It just keeps going