im convinced jean was shirtless while dyeing neil’s hair bc he would not sacrifice one of the two shirts he canonically owned just for this task
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Kaledo Art

shark vs the universe
wallacepolsom

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noise dept.

#extradirty

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
trying on a metaphor
AnasAbdin

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One Nice Bug Per Day

titsay
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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Stranger Things
taylor price
Game of Thrones Daily
Three Goblin Art
Claire Keane

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@avery-brr
im convinced jean was shirtless while dyeing neil’s hair bc he would not sacrifice one of the two shirts he canonically owned just for this task
favourite emo boy
Minyard twins glasses propaganda
Kevin "Promise you won't kill yourself" Day
Kevin "I'll give you something to live for" Day
Kevin "Will you still teach me? Every night." Day
Kevin *went to other fucking state to help Jean during the interview thing in tsc* Day
Kevin is genuinely so kind i love him sm
(might not be the best accurate, because i haven't read the books soon)
now. as much as i love the aaron fanarts where he's wearing like the white shirt sweater vest combo like a richard gansey variant i have to say what I know in my heart. which is that that man is TRASH. he's never done a fashion in his life. all of his clothes from when he was 12 still fit him so he doesn't buy new ones or throw anything out until it's full of holes or still smells like cigarettes fresh out of the washer. his jeans are fraying to pieces and he still has to cuff the ends so he doesn't trip over them. he's been wearing the same Thrasher t-shirt and cargo shorts for four days running. he's wearing double denim. he was the guy in high school who for some reason managed to wear a hoodie, a flannel shirt, and a denim jacket all at the same time. the only noticeable change he makes between winter and summer is whether he's wearing a long sleeve shirt under his graphic tshirt of the day. all of his zippers have the pull thingies broken off and he just lives with it. he owns 1 relatively nice outfit and it's the black suit he had to get for his mother's funeral, that he then wound up reusing for banquets once he was at psu. eventually he is going to have to get a new one because its fraying but that day is not this day.
Please give me trashy aaron minyard
Thinking about him again and by him I mean Jean Moreau played by Louis Garrel
I watched The Dreamers just to see him
Could go either way
Neil josten:
the nest was a cult.
andrew is a criminal justice major, he knows the nest is a cult.
kevin grew up in the nest, he knows it was terrible, but he does not realize it is a cult. that has not registered yet.
i do think that one day andrew has to watch a documentary for a class that has a lot of information about cults and that's how kevin puts it all together.
An essay ?: liking being liked.
It has come to my attention that I often don't wish for a relationship or stable connection, but rather just the fleeting sensation of having someone's eyes on me or their undivided focus.
For example, there are boys who I wouldn't ever date, but I'd like knowing they were after me or at least thought I was attractive.
This has been happening for quite a while, which has brought me to also changing the way I dress, the way I act. I tried to find the side of my personality that is the most appealing and started only showing that instead of everything else, then, depending on who I'm talking to, I might show another side.
I'm not sure where this need to be liked and lived came from. Probably from seeing how people my age got relationships and had people crushing on them while I was left alone, liking someone and never having them like me back.
These days, I've been texting this one boy and we've been talking about some of my interests that I couldn't really talk to with anyone else due to them being pretty unpopular in my country (hsr players in Italy, where are you?). And I want him to like me back, just as much as I want his friends to like me and another boy I just recently met.
Not solely in a romantic way, they just have to like me as a person. Think "oh yeah, it's them, we could chat" and not "oh, it's them, let's cross the street so we won't walk past them".
Whatever this is, it often ends up with me trying to dress more inappropriately too (not much, just a little more daring), because someone (yes, you mom) told me that people are going to like me just for my body, given my personality.
Can anyone tell me if this is something that happens to people normally? If I'm too self centered? Anything?
I know, sad to reblog myself but here I am.
I might actually just be lithroromantic, or on the aromantic spectrum.
I still like people romantically and have crushes, but don't often wish for them to be actually reciprocated. I'd rather remain close friends or a mere crush, because once I get in a relationship it all loses its appeal.
I've felt this with my ex — they were amazing, yet my interested faded once we became boyfriends. I didn't have a challenge anymore, didn't have anything actually stimulating me or keeping me with them.
Maybe I liked the idea of loving someone more than actually doing so.
So am I actually a/demi-romantic?
just saw a mlm book (roommate deal) be marketed on the back of the Italian version as the perfect mix of "off campus" and "heated rivalry". As if the only meaning thing about that book that could make it appeal to the public it's targeted to was "hey! It's a way to drag you in by saying it's exactly like a heterosexual book you've already read but now it's written by two cis women for you to fetish gay relationships!"
I haven't done enough research to have my opinion on either of the authors writing this kind of relationship, but my problem is more with the way it's marketed. I understand wanting to make the book have public appeal, but the comparisons aren't even that spot on:
-The Deal (which inspired Off Campus). I kind of get it, as it's written by Elle Kennedy (one of the two authors), so it most likely has a similar writing style + it's in a college, not even the same one (implying a further connection between the books). So that's about it — not a sport romance, not really related to it.
-Heated Rivalry. What do these two books have in common? mlm relationships and intimate scene — and that's it. From the description of Roommate Deal, I can tell it's set in a college, protag1 pretty much has a path he has to follow because of his family and good position in a college sorority, him and protag2, his roommate and "enemy", talk through an anonymous chat and only later find out it was their roomate all along. Tell me, what does that have to do with Heated Rivalry?
Although it's not the first time I've seen this happen — take All for The Game as an example. Some people have started recommending it if the person they were addressing liked Heated Rivalry, even if they are very different, due to them both being centred around a sport and having a mlm couple. I'm not saying it's impossible to like both, but telling someone who liked a series/book series full of spicy moments to read a trilogy where the protagonist is on the demiromantic and demisexual spectrum isn't very logical. It's like telling someone who likes blueberries to eat a lemon, since you just assumed they liked fruit in general and not a specific aspect of it, whether it's the sweet flavour or it being a berry.
Though questions might rise — why am I against Roomate Deal, a mlm book written by two women, when I've clearly read All for The Game, mlm book written by a woman? Mainly it's because of two reasons:
-Nora Sakavic is queer, defining herself as a "sex repulsed aro-ace" in her writer's bio. This means she can understand and elaborate Neil's (the protag's) romantic and sexual orientation, being on the spectrum of it herself.
-Elle Kennedy supposedly not being interested in writing books with a sapphic relationship (from what I've found while researching). I'm reading a book (You're the problem, it's you) written by a woman too. I picked it up without knowing so, but it's the sequel to a sapphic novel (that I hope to find in Italy TT).
Emma Alban (the author of the book mentioned) had no problem writing about both types of queer relationship. Nora Sakavic had no problem writing both types of queer relationship. So why would Elle Kennedy refuse to do so?
It might be my own vision of things due to being pan myself, but love is just love. It doesn't matter who loves who and their gender, if a writer has experienced love, they can write love stories, of any kind. Why would she be uncomfortable or totally uninterested in writing about sapphic relationships, if she had no problem writing about a gay relationship? If love is always love, regardless of who is expressing that love towards who, why would she only wish to portray mlm and not wlw (other than wlm)?
ngl this math shit is lowk easy until you make errors in basic arithmetic
trying to figure out how to draw them
is Riko Moriyama a complex character:
a rant that got away from me a lil
okay someone made a post about how we shouldn't be calling Riko a complex character be he is Not complex or interesting. their points were essentially that Riko is a bad person that did irredeemable things and while he is a product of his dad's neglect we dont know enough about his backstory to call him complex, and people who do are speculating and making Riko into someone he isnt (if youre the person that posted that, just know i genuinely didnt wanna pick a bone w you im just opinionated asf)
so l, as a nerd that loves debates, went to repost my take on it disagreeing and explaining why. and im not gonna lie to you, it got away from me. it was meant as silly fandom discourse but i got too into it and when i read it back it could kinda be read as me being very very hostile and upset if you cant hear my exact tone. so anyway rather than repost it and bombard this stranger with my Brain I'm leaving my take on it here for you guys
———————————————————————————
i have so many feelings and emotions on this topic in general, not just about riko. and as we all known i am fully unable to Shut The Fuck Up Ever. i think there's two things here I wanna bring up as a counter argument of sorts
the first is, people in fandom often mix good person with good character. you cannot say Riko Moriyama is a good person simply because of his upbringing. His complexity (which ik is under debate rn and l'll get to it in a minute) is not an excuse, it doesn't make him a good person, but it makes him a good character. Good character meaning layers, flaws, humanity in its worse sense. I think few people in the fandom would call Andrew a good person, he does insane shit. The difference is a) we also know a lot of the good parts of him, and b) we recognize as a Character it makes him very interesting. And i think sometimes because we dont have point A with Riko, its easier to fail point B too.
now that we're clear on what the actual discussion is, if im assuming you do recognize him as a character and not a person, i think where things get muddy here is confusing complexity with two other separate ideas: being morally grey and duality.
first off, i think people have this concept of complex=morally grey isnt true. morality is a Person quality and not smth I would look at when defining if a Character is complex or not (obviously it can add to it, like if you have a villain that has good intentions or a motivation rooted in smth you can empathize with; but i dont consider it to be a crucial aspect of being complex)
now onto duality, duality implies complexity but not necessarily the other way around. let me be clearer: For a lot of aftg characters we have duality, we see their vulnerability and their harsh actions, we see them be the victim and victimizers, sometimes simultaneously or going back and forth. (being morally grey can be a form of duality but not all duality is rooted in morality which is why i make the distinction between the two)
but point is, a character doesn't always need duality to be interesting or complex. I think a lot of people take interest in Riko because he is a case study for Other General Phenomena from the real world that are interesting. among those I'm including for one the concept of inherited trauma, inherited violence. media will often show representation for victims of domestic violence where the character breaks the cycle, and that's great dont get me wrong, but thats just one of the possible arcs for a victim. Riko as a character is an example of the alternative, the representation of being part of the cycle. I just now started TSC and in just Ch1 through Jean's POV there's mentions that state straight to your face that the way Riko harms others is in direct correlation with how he himself is harmed by Tetsuji.
(direct quote from the original post: "its not really explored how it affected him or the specifics of his childhood")
and this isnt a new concept either, we've been knowing not just in fiction but just in real life how being part of an abusive generational cycle works. so i dont think his backstory Needs elaborated development into details (tho personally i would read about it). i think knowing how bad it was without gory details or specific anecdotes from his childhood is enough for us to understand his character and recognize there is something there to look into a bit.
as for "how it affected him", its right there in the text, the person he has become, that's how, youre looking at the result of his upbringing. he is one in a million, generational trauma wouldn't be a thing if for the most part people didn't break the cycle.
this is to say: to elaborate on how riko becomes violent as a product of being a victim himself would be boring considering its a common real life thing that happens, studies have been made on it, riko's story isn't special (on that front) and doesn't need to be developed in detail for us to recognize the trauma there. if we're objective, we also arent given lots of details on what Andrew went through (unless you look at the EC and the Proust lore), we just understand the general category of trauma he has, aka SA, and where he is in the present day. Nora doesn't need to do a whole analysis on the process between point a and b bc it's a common thing for victims of sexual assault to have andrew's issues.
(the og post said Riko is as bas as Proust or Drake)
and where I think he differs from Proust or Drake (again, as a character, we arent discussing him being a good person) is with Proust we simply dont know enough about him, he's not even on screen. and with Drake, we at least know something about his family life, we at least know or can infer Cass was a good mom, and his behavior isn’t a by product of parental abuse like riko. nobody is interested in a pedophile. but a victim turned victimizer, well that's something I would wanna look into more. I get that interest is subjective but like cmon the guy grew up brainwashed in a cult battling a lot of insecurities and daddy issues mixed with an insane power trip and god complex all at the same time. that as a character and story wise has levels to it.
Riko maybe has some human qualities that would make him have some duality in the audience's eyes same as other characters, but youre right in saying that we dont see it and are simply assuming. but we do know what kind of environment he grew up in, media literacy is alive and well in the fandom i think. so my point remains, even if you dont assume, there is complexity in seeing how he functions, in reading and analyzing how being raised in a cult that normalizes not only violence towards him but allowed him to be violent to others warps his mentality. i think there's complexity in his emotions being publically and famously known as Number One while being always considered worthless behind closed doors, sent off to be in the Branch Family, basically a child running around a playground, disconnected from his father or brother and beat by his uncle.
and this isnt even Gettin into the complexity of Riko within dynamics, this is just him as a standalone character. If we were to discuss his relationship with, say, Kevin, i think there’s some very complex feelings to sort through there seeing as they grew up together. but I’ll give it to you, we dont know enough about the pair and assuming there’s duality (yes duality) in their relationship as both loving brothers and in ways each other’s competition (plus the abuse) is, after all, just assuming. (the original post mentions we dont know much about their bond growing up either)
my point about him as an individual character stands tho
Kevin wants so bad both the couples he fumbled.
He always admired Jeremy from afar but his it bc he knew what could happen if someone in the nest learnt about his admiration, he always envied Jeremy bc he was free in his was of playing, by pure instinct and happiness instead of the fear or overwork Kevin only knows (also bc Jeremy is canonly super attractive).
He then had Jean, close to him, just a room away from him but with so many restrictions that Jean felt so far away, Jean was young, full of spite and energy to defy Riko and Tetsuji to fight for his freedom, but the need to stay alive won and he stopped fighting. But this young broken trafficked French boy still taught him French, a whole language just for Kevin, they both wanted a free space, just for the two of them, to be closer to each other in a place where it was forbidden. Now the LA Jean still makes Kevin tremble with desire, but he knows Jean needs to more on to be free from their past, even if it means to abandon the relationship they once had.
He had fallen for Andrew, bc Andrew took him under his wing when he had nothing to offer back, to protect him, to help him without pity when no one else did, Andrew did everything without a word, without waiting for a "thank you". He protect bc he can, and Kevin needs that kind of relationship where he wasn't alone, where he felt safe but not seen as weak. He seeks for protection since all he can do during "danger" is to freeze and wait for the danger to end and do as he's told. Andrew is here to ground him, to make Kevin a person, not a tool, not a star, not an investment, a person.
He had fallen for Neil, incredibly attractive and obliviously dangerous Neil. He saw the talent in him and decided he was worth it, and he recruited that nobody from an unwon place. He had fallen for his running mouth and his needs to play exy, no matter what, he played like it was his last time, and it probably could have been his last times. He did and said everything to protect his people and proved to Kevin that he wasn't Riko's shadow and that he wasn't the second one, he was the first. Neil was used to only run, its all he ever knew, but he stayed and risked his life just to speak up, and Neil spoke loudly to be heard to protect his people.
Kevin has fallen for that nobody that became someone and took a big place in his life, Kevin has fallen for that short blond goalie bc he could finally rely on someone even after he got hurt, Kevin has fallen for that broken French boy who found the light to stay alive and fought for the life he deserves, Kevin has fallen for that sunshine Californian boy who stays positive and brings the light no matter the situation, even when was broken.
Kevin has fallen for these people who keep fighting for their life, to live another day, who will protect those they love no matter the consequences, thats what Kevin has fallen for. People who are willing to do anything for the ones they cherish, and Kevin is in those they cherish, he just doesn't see it.
An essay ?: liking being liked.
It has come to my attention that I often don't wish for a relationship or stable connection, but rather just the fleeting sensation of having someone's eyes on me or their undivided focus.
For example, there are boys who I wouldn't ever date, but I'd like knowing they were after me or at least thought I was attractive.
This has been happening for quite a while, which has brought me to also changing the way I dress, the way I act. I tried to find the side of my personality that is the most appealing and started only showing that instead of everything else, then, depending on who I'm talking to, I might show another side.
I'm not sure where this need to be liked and lived came from. Probably from seeing how people my age got relationships and had people crushing on them while I was left alone, liking someone and never having them like me back.
These days, I've been texting this one boy and we've been talking about some of my interests that I couldn't really talk to with anyone else due to them being pretty unpopular in my country (hsr players in Italy, where are you?). And I want him to like me back, just as much as I want his friends to like me and another boy I just recently met.
Not solely in a romantic way, they just have to like me as a person. Think "oh yeah, it's them, we could chat" and not "oh, it's them, let's cross the street so we won't walk past them".
Whatever this is, it often ends up with me trying to dress more inappropriately too (not much, just a little more daring), because someone (yes, you mom) told me that people are going to like me just for my body, given my personality.
Can anyone tell me if this is something that happens to people normally? If I'm too self centered? Anything?