Mr Fancy's Feast

Things I like. Occasional NSFW/18+

[vortexsophia-deactivated2022110]

[veerletakino]

[no-one-offical]

Reblogging thrice for effective reach

[depsidase]

[my-dailydreams]

[luckykittycolor]

[ooppo]

[enjoloras-deactivated20220821]

Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.

Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:

[prokopetz]

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

[kingarniestar-deactivated202509]

me when im a flea

[anarchistmemedistro]

[peterfromtexas-deactivated20250]

Reenactor throws a spear at a drone

[supapoopa]

What a time to be alive.

[tenthcorner]

“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.

The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.

Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)

[kineticpenguin]

I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it

[brunhiddensmusings]

just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone

[stephendann]

Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll

[fromaliminalspace]

a rough translation of inscription on the runestone:

On the seventh day of May in the year of 2016 on hither spot the mighty warrior Ulf hath slain a dragon with his spear.

so yeah, happy birthday to this dragon-slaying event and to it only

[nonlinear-nonsubjective]

Happy Ulf Hath Slain A Dragon With His Spear!

[liaraswife-deactivated20210629]

SHIT

[depsidase]

[charlesoberonn]

The default length of pasta is designed to fit on a supermarket shelf, not to be the best length for cooking/eating.

Feel free to break it to any length you want (don't let the Italians know I said this)

[charlesoberonn]

Make sure I fit in the pot at least.

[lilyyy63]

Shorter pasta could definitely fit on a store shelf. Longer pasta however...

Free yourself of corporate interests and demand comically and inconviently long pasta

[charlesoberonn]

Pasta so long it can't fit in your car and you gotta tie it to the roof. Pasta so long you gotta cook it outside because your ceiling is too low.

[clumsysprings]

I think space filling pasta would be the best of all worlds. Easy to fit on shelves, long, and fits in the pot without breaking!

Good luck manufacturing it, but I think it could be done by extrusion and chopping, but I don't know if it'd be spaghetti still

[charlesoberonn]

Something like this?

[charlesoberonn]

But in a little over 4 months it's gonna be m

[charlesoberonn]

This post gains more and more notes as we approach the day

[violet-hady]

I’ve had a store sell spaghetti which was half a metre long once. It was really good.

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[gif87a-com]

A hummingbird thought a man’s orange hat was a flower [x]

[shinymegacrobat]

Iv never seen a hummingbird sit before lol

[queervashti]

i wasn’t going to reblog until he sat 

[spacelesbians-archive-deactivat]

HE SITS

[intjint]

ITS BACK

[in97hats]

8x08 / 9x16

[depsidase]

[gif87a-com]

[homosexualontheloose]

[sunshine-tattoo]

i was about to say this is at the Toronto airport and then suddenly it definitely. Was. Not.

[uncle-beanbag-mojave]

That’s just the Toronto Bannana Boa

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

shoutout to my brother for setting me up for this

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

guys if you keep reblogging this i’m gonna have to tell him it blew up on tumblr and my credibility from this comeback will instantly plummet

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

oh no this is still getting notes

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

this broke 10,000 notes so

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

results are in. no I can’t tell him about this I can’t do it

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

I’ve made a mistake

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

OKAY

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

well he believes me now!

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

ABORT ABORT ABORT