[theminotaursmanual]

by Laerte Coutinho

[las-lus]

btw this is laerte. She is 73 now! Making art and being happy! It's never too late to transition

[death-420]

pls god where is the fourth of julie goodbye 2007 hello 2008

[sillysayaka]

dear dire

[tilthat]

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

[beggars-opera]

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

[ti-bae-rius]

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

[ti-bae-rius]

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

[nealashitposts]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry.

So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful.

She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal.

He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet...

"Oh you have a dick?"

"... yeah."

He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says

"Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride.

My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can't please my girl, but I'll show them!"

[nealashitposts]

I do feel the need to add that later he excitedly tell the group that as a straight guy, he never thought that skill would be useful outside hotdog eating contests.

[funny-tik-toks]

[bestworstideaever]

[woost46]

Why the fuck is this labeled as mature

[r0zeclawz]

sick post i just found online. sorry i couldnt find the source

[r0zeclawz]

if this gets more notes than the memedaddy repost it would be really funny actually

[prokopetz]

I'm not a huge fan of Doctor Who's format, but I have to admit its writers have the right idea when it comes to navigating the competing needs of episodic versus serial television. Just do pure monster of the week shit, then every dozen or so episodes have a guy show up and gloatingly explain how a bunch of those seemingly disconnected crises were secretly part of his master plan. Why did he go to all that trouble? Because fuck you. What's his ultimate goal? Also fuck you.

[dearest-loveliest-elizabeth]

I love ao3, I love customizing it, tell me why I’m reading medieval ao3 right now

[dearest-loveliest-elizabeth]

@jimmystrudel

SO

how to do this

First, you go to your account and click on Skins

Once you’re there, go to Create Site Skin

This is what should appear. It asks you for a title, make up whatever title you want, but be creative, otherwise it won’t let you save it (I just named it medievalskin+my username and some random numbers)

Below it, there’s a place where it asks you to put the CSS

(All the other things, upload a preview, type, etc, don’t matter. Don’t touch them, ignore them)

In the CSS space, you have to put this (just copy and put it directly there):

#greeting img.icon {

display: none;

}

.comment div.icon {

box-shadow: none;

border: 2px solid #ab3740;

}

#header #search .button,

#header #search .submit,

#header #search .text {

display: none;

}

body {

font: Georgia, serif;

}

#outer,

#header .menu,

ol.index.group,

.listbox .index {

background: url("https://64.media.tumblr.com/b435c5f4f58a551bc2a04d3baf0966ec/28df75b586705f4b-be/s1280x1920/5212a899bdbd5f65ccc29ed438adbf5c1fb1f3ee.png");

}

#header .logo,

#header .heading sup {

display: none;

}

#header h1.heading span {

display: none;

}

#header h1.heading a::before {

display: inline-block;

width: 284px;

height: 80px;

content: " ";

background-image: url("https://64.media.tumblr.com/e685e88fb61d772890c312eb38ccbea0/ad2373978cc6ca4e-91/s2048x3072/a1ef9b3223b3f1d8fab4db140d17082a7c62f0ab.png");

background-size: 284px 80px;

}

#header {

background: url("https://64.media.tumblr.com/b0d2bb70b9e312e102c232ce63897fbc/ad2373978cc6ca4e-08/s1280x1920/2f5b97b121b5b28ccdd829bbf196068c32dc20f6.png");

background-size: contain;

background-position-x: right;

background-position-y: top;

background-repeat: no-repeat;

}

#header .heading {

height: 13em;

}

#header .primary {

background: transparent;

box-shadow: none;

}

#greeting .menu {

width: 12em !important;

}

#header .menu {

width: 20em;

}

#header .menu,

#header a.dropdown-toggle,

#greeting .user > li:nth-of-type(3) a,

#footer .heading,

#footer a,

#footer li {

color: #ab3740;

font-variant: small-caps;

font-weight: bold;

}

#header .menu li a {

color: #ab3740 !important;

border: none !important;

font-weight: normal !important;

}

#header .menu li {

border-bottom: none;

}

#header a.dropdown-toggle:hover,

#greeting .user > li:nth-of-type(3) a:hover {

background: rgba(197, 179, 127, .5);

}

.splash .news blockquote p:first-child {

padding-left: 105px;

background: url("https://64.media.tumblr.com/7495768c034c4d677d0240769e1b92ac/ad2373978cc6ca4e-61/s400x600/17fa2b5ada700c4961abf7f8802f27c8efa3fabf.png");

background-size: 100px 80px;

background-position-x: left;

background-position-y: top;

background-repeat: no-repeat;

}

.social.modu

Yeah it’s super long

Once you have it, you click submit, at the bottom

It will take you here

Now, just go to the bottom and click use

Done!

[propalahramota]

"When you're trying to have a hot girl summer, but the governments decide to start WWIII😭😭"

Location: Bumfuck, Oklahoma

"Dying in WWIII wasn't on my 2025 bucketlist 💀🫣"

Location: Sydney, Australia

"Look at the strawberry varenyky I made"

Location: Kyiv, Ukraine

[fieldsarebreathing]

When I bought my fairy wings on Etsy:

[fieldsarebreathing]

Her Etsy shop if you guys wanted some lovely fairy wings from a wonderful and talented woman

[aspiring-weird-old-man]

@glasssymphony also makes gorgeous delicate miniature glass sculptures in Ukraine, and while I haven't bought one for myself yet I've seen other people receive theirs, perfectly packed and intact despite everything. ♡

[noah-wyles]

[nikkitana]

[ID: SpongeBob and Patrick, but SpongeBob has been replaced with an "Ao3 is down for maintenance" notice.

Ao3: What do you normally do when I'm gone?

Patrick: Wait for you to get back.

End ID]

[thewriterofawesomeness]

[ID: the how much could one banana cost, $10? Meme edited to say, “It’s one ao3 maintenance, Michael. How long could it take, an hour?” End ID]

[qrgirl-deactivated20220303]

the space race may be the funniest point in history period and i'll stand by that. the US is like "yes whoever gets into space first will prove once and for all that our economic model is superior and that we are, in general, the superior country of superior and smarter people." then the soviets just went and did it and the US freaked out and needed to cover their ass so were like "WE MEAN THE MOON, WE MEAN THE FIRST TO LAND ON THE MOON."

[fanderburker]

[skluug]

yeah its cus walking on the moon was cool as hell and all this other boring shit sucked ass

[togglesbloggle]

When I was a freshman in a red-state college, I had a professor who taught Newtonian physics with a super thick Russian accent.  The student body was unusually conservative for a state college, so there was a sort of general bemusement about learning physics from a Russian, but even back then the Cold War was far enough in the past that not even the red tribe was inclined to stir up trouble about it.

He was aware enough of this to get off on trolling the class, though.  Whenever some force diagram in a homework assignment needed to be weightless, instead of being some generic spacecraft it would be “Mir” specifically.  And he’d always use ‘cosmonaut’ instead of ‘astronaut’, that kind of thing.

One day about halfway through the semester, he’s doing this with in-class examples on the board, and one of the students finally gets up the guts to troll back a little.  So this kid shouts from the back of the auditorium, “Hey professor, what’s the difference between a cosmonaut and an astronaut?”

And this beautiful man spins around on one heel to face the class, whiteboard marker triumphantly over his head, clearly having been waiting for this moment the entire semester: “Cosmonaut go to space first! Ha!”

[primodialchaoswizard]

Counterpoint: the USSR killed one of the cutest dogs I’ve ever seen, they knew she was gonna die.

The USA didn’t kill any dogs.

[omgellendean]

Yeah, because the USA used monkeys for their space program and killed them instead. In fact, the way those monkeys just kept dying was arguably one of the reasons Soviet space program picked dogs as main subjects instead.

[edgebug]

contrary to popular belief i think calvin's adhd is, funnily enough, medicated. he takes extended release ritalin every morning alongside his chocolate frosted sugar bombs. this is because he appreciates being more easily able to focus on his various Schemes, Projects, and Machinations while more effectively ignoring schoolwork

[edgebug]

calvin's dad pulling up to the house and seeing the whole driveway covered in a (completed) snowman recreation of the entire terracotta army and he takes a deep breath and greets calvin's mom with "i see calvin remembered his methylphenidate today"

[abigailspinach]

[wiisagi-maiingan]

If you are making calls to Republican politicians about not supporting certain bills, remember to stick to Republican scripts. No trying to play on their emotions. Don't talk about people dying or marginalized people being hurt or anything like that. That doesn't work on them.

Instead, focus on:

Cost. These Republican bills have MASSIVE costs that either tax payers take the brunt of or it goes into the national debt.

Withholding your vote. You weren't going to vote for them anyway, but they have absolutely no way of knowing that. Even if you've said in other places, they are not researching every single person who calls to see who's a Republican. You're just another constituent using your vote as leverage. Take advantage of that.

Hard-working Americans/working class Americans/veterans/etc. Figure out the specific group of people that politician campaigns the hardest to and talk about them and how they'll be hurt by whatever is happening.

Trump's stupid fucking bill isn't cruel and evil and it's not going to kill millions of people, it's a huge financial strain that will drastically increase the national debt while hurting working class Americans who just need a bit of help and you would never consider voting for someone who would support it.

[wiisagi-maiingan]

Essentially use as many conservative buzzwords as you possibly can. Think of what a Fox News watcher in your life would say and inject as much outrage and indignation into it as possible during the call. You are larping as a conservative voter for this.

[lobotomycas]

the other day one of my coworkers halfway referenced the spiders georg post but stopped before he actually reached the spiders georg part. like. I can't be sure that that's what he was doing but one coworker said "yknow. people swallow several spiders every year" and my other coworker said "well that's just- it's not true. it's a- no, you'd wake up" and just. there was a look in his eyes. I just know

[lobotomycas]

waging psychological warfare against one of my team leads starting tomorrow

[lobotomycas]

"everyone knows about spiders georg" factoid actualy just statistical error. average perbson does not know spiders georg. tunglr uswrs, who have given spiders georg post 369k notes since 2013, are outliers adn should not be counted

[unpretty]

god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic

[unpretty]

psychic: these are hieroglyphics… the spirits are trying to communicate…

home inspector: you put new paint over old paint and now the old paint is bleeding through, that’s why you’re not supposed to do that

[unpretty]

homeowner: my daughter’s room is always cold… cold like the dead…

home inspector: you put furniture on top of her heating vent

[unpretty]

business owner: i got locked in the bathroom even though the door has no lock

home inspector: it has a lock. the lock is right there. on the knob.

[nevercure]

Fun fact a scientist who is very not spiritual or superstitious began seeing corner eye hallucinations and feeling intense fear and a presence in his lab around the same time that everyone else in the building was suddenly reporting it haunted.

Determined, he found that the “hauntings” stopped when the industrial air conditioning unit, that had just recently been installed, was turned off. We’ve found that measurable micro vibrations in a structure cause immense fear, and a feeling of a presence and corner eye hallucinations – just like when you watch a scary movie alone at night and you see things move in the corner of your eye or are afraid to go in the cellar because you’re convinced someone’s in there.

Why?

Because many members of our species built homes in and around cliffs and caves for tens of thousands of years. And it’s likely that these certain shaky vibrations give us intense fear and a need to move far away because that would have saved our lives if the cave were collapsing or unstable.

You’ll notice it’s always falling apart, dilapidated homes that are “haunted” - or very very old restored homes. These places might just be slightly structurally unsound. That’s all.

[rosetintmyworld84]

That’s infrasound, sounds that are below 20hz, or the limit of normal human hearing. Things that produce infrasound in nature include severe weather, earthquakes, volcanoes, tigers, alligators, rhinoceros; also known as things that can kill people. We developed an evolutionary sense of dread when our brains perceive sounds we cannot hear. The vibrations from infrasound can also vibrate the eye causing visual hallucinations. 

You know what also causes infrasound? A LOT of machines, especially large industrial ones. There’s a reason haunted house stories started popping up in post industrialization. That scientist was Vic Tandy and he wrote about it in a the paper Ghosts in the Machines

“Vic Tandy, experimental officer and part-time lecturer in the school of international studies and law at Coventry University, along with Dr. Tony Lawrence of the University’s psychology department, wrote in 1998 a paper called “Ghosts in the Machine” for the Journal of the Society for Psychical Research. Their research suggested that an infrasonic signal of 19 Hz might be responsible for some ghost sightings. Tandy was working late one night alone in a supposedly haunted laboratory at Warwick, when he felt very anxious and could detect a grey blob out of the corner of his eye. When Tandy turned to face the grey blob, there was nothing.The following day, Tandy was working on his fencing foil, with the handle held in a vice. Although there was nothing touching it, the blade started to vibrate wildly. Further investigation led Tandy to discover that the extractor fan in the lab was emitting a frequency of 18.98 Hz, very close to the resonant frequency of the eye given as 18 Hz by NASA. This, Tandy conjectured, was why he had seen a ghostly figure—it was, he believed, an optical illusion caused by his eyeballs resonating. The room was exactly half a wavelength in length, and the desk was in the centre, thus causing a standing wave which caused the vibration of the foil.“

[rabbitindisguise]

Okay I didn’t need my eyes to have a resonation frequency but thanks for that, science

[elljayvee]

as per uzh i’m coming in with a book recommendation

Spook, by Mary Roach

It’s 20 years old, so the science is a bit outdated now, but it’s a delightful romp (common with Mary Roach’s books).

[idontwantsurgery-deactivated201]

[disbandandisperse]

and they’re usually not that brilliant and careful either. 99％ of the time the police are just incompetent! Ted Bundy literally jumped out a window and escaped police custody because they weren’t watching him

A victim literally escaped Jeffrey Dahmer’s apartment naked with a hole drilled in his head and unable to speak but police let Dahmer take him back to his apartment like everything was ok!

And I guess he doesn’t count as a serial killer but Eric Harris had already been making threats and harrassing students to an extreme degree before Columbine- police literally had a search warrant but they just never acted on it. If they had, they would have found the guns and pipe bombs and the shooting could have been easily prevented. They even tried to cover this up afterwards.

Serial killers and mass murders are usually not that smart, police have just historically refused to do their actual jobs.

[hooray4skeleton]

always remember that the “genius serial killer” narrative is a blatant cover for the fact that the police will always look the other way when it comes to white cis men exhibiting blatantly violent and hateful behavior

[mosscoveredcorpse]

Important to remember that people like Jeffrey dahmer targeted minorities because cops did not care about violence against them. It’s not just cops being incompetent, it’s the systematic violence, racism, classism, transphobia, and homophobia in the police system

[byjove]

I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.