Tag by @riality-check for this. Iām having massive writers block from work being so busy so have some random answer from me ā¤ļø
Currently Reading: Make You Mine by EM Lindsey (Deaf character, so good)
Favorite color: depend on the day but usually some type of green.
Last Movie: New little mermaid. Fistkiss so good!
Last song: last one I recognize is little mermaid songs from the movie.
Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Either spicy or sweet. Spicysweet? Iām California live so all the chamoy and tajin!!
Currently working on: Fic where Eddie taking ASL class and as part of Deaf community event he joins DnD group and meet Deaf Steve the Babysitter. Also follow up to blind!steve universe, and next chapter of my WIP. So many things uhgg.
Tags: anyone who want to do this. Say I tagged you. It was fun!!
hi! i just wanted to tell you that i read your Deaf steve/ eddie fic and LOVED it! as a hearing individual, minoring in ASL i appreciate you incorporating your perspective into the fic! thank you for writing it š«¶
Thank you for your message! Sorry it take me so long. I was supervising senior trip this year so I just spent a week getting mocked by my students for my love of Stranger Things which according to teens is "over" now?? Luckily I'm too old to care.
Fistkiss you for minor in ASL! Need more signed language in the world <3
yāall know iām an āeddie calls steve every pet name under the sunā truther, but tell me why it only occurred to me now that eddie would absolutely call him loverboy
and not even in that sarcastic, goading tone that he has but likeā¦
so soft and so genuine with kisses pressed to his cheek and a quiet āmissed you loverboyā and steveās cheeks flush the prettiest pink
Eddie does this... thing. Steve isn't sure if there's a name for it. Or if it's just a thing. Robin always jokes that Eddie's autism is showing. And he just snorts at her and shakes his head, but he keeps doing it, his cheeks tinted pink.
He counts things.
They aren't always things everyone can see. About half the time Eddie is just counting in his head. But he mumbles the numbers outloud, barely audible. But Steve hears it. Steve can't hear much, most of the time, but he somehow always manages to hear Eddie counting. Or at least notices his lips moving, numbers rolling off them genlty.
It calms him down. Steve noticed that fast. Eddie would count his breathing during panic attacks and then when he helped Steve or Robin through their panic attacks, and somewhere along the line, Steve just started,Ā counting along with him.
Not outloud. And Eddie hadn't noticed him nodding along to the counting, not yet at least. But it never failed. Eddie would start counting and Steve's brain would follow along happily.
They're sitting on Eddie's couch. It's the middle of summer. The air outside is hot and sticky. The air in the trailer isn't much better. But Steve had brought over his personal air conditioner that had been sitting in the garage not being used for years. Eddie had protested but Steve refused to take it back.
The living room was cooler than it had been the last few days. The sun had just gone down. Eddie's thigh was pressed against his, like it normally was these days, heat or not. Eddie would sit himself next to Steve, their sides smooshed together. Steve hadn't moved away, not once, despite the heat.
Eddie was wearing a cut off shirt, Steve was in jean shorts and a lightweight yellow t-shirt. Some movie Steve had never seen was on the tv, but all Steve could focus on was the way Eddie was pressed against him. The warmth of his skin seeping into his ribs.
And then Eddie starts counting.
Steve smiles to himself. Following along. Glancing at Eddie carefully when his counting pauses, like he was searching for the next thing he was counting. Steve had never been brave enough to ask about it. Was just happy Eddie felt safe enough around him to let him hear it at all.
And then Eddie's fingers hit Steve's arm and he can't breathe. Eddie's finger tips walk up his arms, pressing genlty at certain points as they go. Steve's heart flutters when Eddie's fingers press up under his shirt, curl in the material and shove it up as Eddie mumbles,
"Can I just-" between numbers. He smiles when he gets Steve's sleeve up over his shoulder, his fingers poking at Steve's skin as he counts. And it clicks.
He's counting Steve's freckles.
His fingers dancing over his skin as he counts, whispering numbers as he turns on his couch cushion, his knee pressing hard into Steve's thigh. Steve doesn't care. Steve doesn't feel it.
All Steve can feel is Eddie's breath ghosting over his warm skin as he counts. His chilly fingertips, and warm breath, causing goosebumps to spead, making Steve shiver.
He swallows, hard, as Eddie's fingers poke the moles on his neck. Steve smiles when Eddie whispers to himself.
"Lil vampire bite." He says, moving one finger across them genlty. Steve clenches his fists, presses them into his thighs, tries to stay still. To let Eddie stay in this world he's in. Because he's lost right now. Steve knows he is. He's a touchy feely guy, but this, this is different.
He's lost in his counting. Lost in Steve. It's fucking intoxicating. Steve could live in this bubble forever, all of Eddie's attention on him like he's the most interesting thing he's ever seen.
Steve reminds himself to breathe at the wrong moment. Eddie's fingers move over his cheek, he's almost reached thirty, and Steve honestly didn't know he had that many freckles and moles. But he learns new things about himself from Eddie everyday. He sucks in air as Eddie's fingers press into his cheek and Eddie startles.
His hand jerks back, his eyes flutter and then lock onto Steve's. Because he'd been watching Eddie. Watching Eddie look at him. And Eddie swallows hard, his fist clenching in the air before he pulls it to his chest. Holds it there with his other hand, his cheeks now a deep pink, Steve can see it crawling up to his ears.
"Shit. Sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. Fuck." He breathes, looks into his lap. And Steve smiles. Can't help it. He reaches out, his fingers curling around Eddie's wrist.
Eddie's eyes snap to him, wide, and nervous, as he watches Steve move his hand back to his face. He presses Eddie's palm to his cheek, nuzzles into the touch.
"You can keep going. You were at... twenty seven, I think." Steve whispers, not wanting to break the quiet bubble they've settled into. Eddie blinks at him. Steve feels his fingers twitch against his face.
"Twenty....seven?" Eddie says it like a question. Unsure. Confused.
"You were counting again." Steve says, leans further into Eddie's hand. He hears Eddie's breath shutter.
"I was touching you." Eddie says, his brows furrowing, like he's still confused.
"I know. I liked it." Steve assures, nodding his head, letting Eddie feel it against his hand.
"Yeah?" He breathes.
"Yeah. Of course." Steve turns a little then, facing him more.
"I like when you count too." Steve admits. Finally. Eddie's nose scrunches, he snorts, and Steve lets him have his hand back. He lets his fall to Steve's shoulder, his fingers almost instantly tangling in the hair at the back of Steve's neck. They find their way there most nights Steve is here, his hand on the back of the couch always finding Steve somehow.
"No you don't. No one does. It annoys people. It's weird." Eddie shakes his head, but he's smiling, and blushing, and Steve wants to kiss his bright red cheeks, wants to feel their warmth against his lips.
"It's addicting." Steve counters. Eddie's eyes widen.
"Is it?" He sounds shocked. Steve nods.
"Yeah. I do it all the time now. Even when you aren't doing it. Or aren't even around. I just... count things. You were right. It's calming." Steve says, his hands finding Eddie's, moving his fingers across Eddie's rings.
"You said it was addicting." Eddie mumbled.
"What?"
"You said it was addicting. The counting." Eddie says, finally looking up from his lap. His eyes soft when they find Steve's.
"Oh. Guess I did yeah. Is that... is that bad?" Steve asks, turning one of Eddie's rings around his finger. Eddie shakes his head, once, the red tint crawling down his neck now. The hand Steve's not fiddling with finds its way to the back of Eddie's neck, he rubs the skin there and blinks a few times before looking into his lap again.
"No. Just... no one's ever called anything about me addicting before. Annoying? Yes. Addicting? Not so much. But you did. And you said it like-" Eddie's teeth dig into his bottom lip.
"Like what?" Steve nudges his knee into Eddie, fighting not to smile.
"Like it was a good thing. I guess?" Eddie shrugs. Steve reaches up then, lets go of Eddie's hand and cups his cheek instead, lifting his head so Eddie can see him.
"It is a good thing. The best thing. I could listen to you count all day." Steve smiles then, mirroring Eddie as he laughs a little.
"Oh yeah? You might regret that. I've actually been trying to hold back on it. I know I do it a lot." Eddie shakes his head, frowns a little. Steve moves, presses closer, shakes his head.
"Don't. Don't hold back. Count whatever you want. Whenever you want." He breathes between them.
"Okay." Eddie says, hesitant, he sounds nervous. Steve pulls back a bit, brows furrowed, and then Eddie darts forward, presses his lips to Steve's cheek.
"One." He says when he's settled back on his cushion. His cheeks even more red than before. Steve snorts, opens his mouth to say something but Eddie moves again. His lips hit next to Steve's eyebrow.
"Two."
He presses his lips close to Steve's ear.
"Three." Steve laughs. Eddie kissed his neck twice.
"Four. Five." He breathes, as Steve catches him, doesn't let him settle back down this time. Keeps him close. One hand on the back of Eddie's neck, one hand trailing his fingertips over Eddie's nose, and his cheeks.
"You've got them too ya know? Not like mine. But ... little ones. All over." Steve breathes, his fingers moving slowly over Eddie face until they linger on his lips. Just for a moment, before he cupped Eddie's cheek.
"You wanna count 'em?" Eddie asks, he sounds breathless, and Steve had barely touched him. They were both on their knees now. Their chests nearly pressed together.
"Maybe later. Got something better in mind right now." Steve breathes, eyes dropping to Eddie's mouth. He watches Eddie gulp and smiles.
"Oh yeah? L-like what?" Eddie stammers. His hands grabbing at Steve's waist to keep himself steady.
"Probably better if I just show you." Steve sighs, presses his forehead to Eddie's.
"Okay. Yeah. I'm- I'm definitely a learn by example kinda guy. So that's- that works for me." Eddie rambles, his mouth moving a mile a minute. Steve moves his nose along Eddie's and nods.
"Yeah. Okay. Sounds good. I can do that." Steve agrees, not sure what he's really agreeing too, he just knows he wants to kiss this boy. His friend. Eddie. He wants to kiss Eddie so bad. Has for awhile now. He feels Eddie's hands, one of them moving to his shoulder where his sleeve is still pulled up, Eddie's palm is warm on his arm.
Eddie huffs a nervous laugh and that's all it takes.
Steve kisses him. Gently. Eddie's lips fumble against his for a moment. His inexperience making Steve's stomach flutter. His hands grab at Eddie, pull him closer. Eddie whines against his lips and Steve pulls back, doesn't want to overwhelm him too much.
Eddie drops his head to Steve's shoulder with a breathy laugh. Steve pets at his hair, curls his fingers into it like he's wanted to for ages and pulls genlty, so he can look at Eddie's face.
"You okay?" He asks. Eddie nods, smiles.
"Six." He says, his cheeks dimpling. Steve smiles back, shakes his head. Presses a kiss to the tip of Eddie's nose.
"Seven." Eddie says, no hesitation. Steve swears he honest to god giggles, but would never admit it to anyone.
Eddie's eyes tint with a mix of mischief and seriousness that's all his own as his fingers curl around the hem of Steve shirt.
"Okay seriously though take this off, I wasn't done counting." His voice is completely serious. And Steve, feeling brave, decides to match it, and tugs his shirt up over his head, careful not to hit Eddie in the face. Eddie barks a manic sounding laugh as Steve falls back, pulling Eddie down too, so that he's stradling him.
"Go on then. Count away." Steve shoves his hands under his head, smiles up at Eddie as he looks wide eyed down at Steve. He's bright red, but then his eyes focus, and his hands move to gently touch the skin covering Steve's ribs. His finger tips press down, tickling a bit, as he whispers,
"Twenty eight." His eyes jump to Steve's face, he gives him an encouraging nod, and that's all Eddie needs apparently. Because he starts counting in earnest, his hands moving over Steve's freckles quickly. Numbers falling past his lips, his counting calming Steve the way almost nothing else does.
He gets to fifty and stops. Leans down and presses a kiss to Steve's shoulder.
"Eight." He whispers, and then keeps going. He kisses and counts his way across Steve's skin until he's laying on top of Steve, his hand in his hair. Pressing gentle kisses into Steve's neck as he smiles into Eddie's shoulder, the little voice in his head counting along, in sync with Eddie in a way he'd never expected to be, feeling content as Eddie's numbers become more garbled. Until they fade completely as Eddie drifts off, his breath heavy on Steve's neck.
Steve smiles, moves them a bit so they're settled on the couch a bit better. Eddie doesn't wake. Steve watches him sleep. Soothes his fingers over the crease in Eddie's eyebrows until it smooths out and he melts further into the couch. He smiles at him, closes his eyes as Eddie's arm squeezes around him, pulling him closer. Steve sighs, sinks deeper into the couch as he feels sleep dragging him under. But not before he mumbles, sleepy and soft,
"One." Making sure he marks this. The first time they fall asleep tangled together, the smile on his lips fading as he drifts off to sleep, dreaming of all the never ending numbers in their future.
I have a lot of thoughts about Steve who craves physical affection, who thinks of his worth in terms of what he can do for other people, and who got very drunk at high school parties. This is one of them
CW for heavily implied past dubcon (not between Eddie and Steve). Please take care
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Eddie has never seen Steve drunk.
At least ā not up close. There had been a few high school parties back in the day where Eddie had passed by the āKeg Stand King,ā but since heās come to know Steve personally (intimately), Steve has barely touched alcohol.
Heās told Eddie the story of being drugged against his will and how he doesnāt want to repeat the feeling of losing control, and how he doesnāt like not being able to drive if he needs to, and how the hangover would probably just trigger a migraine anyway ā and, really, he just doesnāt drink much anymore.
Yet tonight had been a special occasion: Robinās birthday. She herself isnāt much for alcohol (for at least some reasons that match up with Steveās), but drinking, she said, feels like a part of the birthday experience. Sheād somehow gotten Steve to match her beer for beer, for āemotional support,ā and it hadnāt taken long for the both of them to become entirely inebriated.
Time has apparently greatly eroded Steveās tolerance.
Eddie had distantly expected him to be kind of a bitchy drunkāand he had become a bit cattier, for sureābut mostly heād just become affectionate. There had been hugs for nearly everyone, and heād spent the latter half of the party slowly migrating into Eddieās lap, plying him with constant kisses on the cheek and giggling ridiculously at nearly everything Eddie had said.
It had been sort of adorable (not that Eddie will tell him that; no, heās going to sit on that information until it benefits him).
Itās a little less fun now that heās trying to cart Steve up to his room and into bed. Steve is a bit wobbly, and a lot heavy, and is much more interested in trying to cling to Eddie like a koala and bury his face in Eddieās neck than he is in actually walking anywhere.
Removing swears and slurs from the subtitles without removing it from the audio is implying that deaf/HoH people need babying, unlike their hearing friends and family sitting right next to them. Which is frustrating.
The point of subtitles is to give the same experience to everyone watching, regardless of abilityānot to be a more palatable version of what's being said.
one good omens image that I keep thinking about is they've retired to a cottage and aziraphales got his comfy little setup with the cushions and a book in hand and a nice little beverage of course, the picture of content, and then he gazes out the window at crowley who is full-body fighting with a lawn mower
The truth is- Steve hates his pool. Ā He hates his pool because it was the beginning of the end of a lot of things. Ā He hates his pool because while he never did get to know Barb the way she deserved to be known, a single drop of blood into that cool water...
Well.
Yeah.
He hates his pool.
Unfortunately for Steve, the pool becomes sort of necessary. After getting the shit kicked out of him by Jonathan Byers, then Billy, then getting his ass handed to him by Russians before they drugged him with some concoction that left him at first with ringing ears, then with dwindling tones, the weird little audiogram from his doctor told him that yeah, he was lucky to still be able to hear airplanes and dogs barking.
In short, Steve was deaf.
He hadnāt ever met anyone like that before so it was just easier to try and ignore it. Ā To nod and smile a lot and pretend like he had any idea about what was going on. Ā Thatās what his parents wanted him to do.
So.
Why not.
They were never home before, but theyāre gone even more now that the upside down had tried (and failed- thank God) to swallow Hawkins and left Steve kind of a fucked-up mess both inside and out. Ā But theyāre all kind of fucked-up inside and out so at least heās not alone.
Steveās house was spared and the kids come over all the time and have pool parties. Ā And Robin sleeps over more than she doesnāt, and her favorite thing ever is a morning swim. Ā Nancy drops in to do laps when she can, just to get a break from the madness that is her life. Ā Eddie uses the cool water as a sort of self-created physiotherapy for all the pieces of muscle he lost to demo bats.
Steve wants to not hate it. Ā He wants to say that itās all fine and heās making new memories and while they wonāt erase what happened to Barb, something good can come of it.
Vertigo has become Steveās constant friend, especially on what he calls his bad-ear-days. Ā The pool, oddly, helps. Ā Not swimming. Ā The pressure of water in his ears makes him want to die. Ā It gives him ear-migraines, which might not be a thing, but itās totally a thing.
But heās got an old blow-up raft thatās shaped like a donut and bobbing along the water oddly kind of evens out the spins and makes him not want to hoark his lunch up all over the deck.
So he lays there with his eyes closed, simmering in his new silence sort of feeling everything around him differently now that he canāt hear for shit. Ā Heās usually alone, but this afternoon Eddieās there. Ā Eddie who sees way too much.
And it happens while Steveās floating and Eddieās soaking and drinking beer. Ā His eyes are closed and the sun is hot on his face, and then he feels cool fingers playing with the short hairs by his temple.
Steve feels himself rumble a noise- which is probably the most disconcerting thing about his deafness. Ā Itās not losing the sound of other people- itās losing the sound of himself.
He as no idea if the sounds heās making are audible because Eddie doesnāt react. Ā He just keeps touching. Ā And God he does that a lot. Ā Steveās not used to it. Ā Touch always had some sort of end game. Ā Like with Nancy, it used to mean at least making out, if not more. Ā With the kids, itās to comfort. Ā With Robin itās mostly to get on her nerves because even when he annoys her, he still makes her smile.
But Eddieās so free with it- without expectations. Ā He just gives and gives and rarely expects anything back. Ā Lord, though, Steve wants to give him something. Ā and he has for a while now.
Steveās come to realize in the past months that his attraction might not be so...focused on one gender? Ā He watched Robin struggle with existing as herself, but also so unabashed about it when she felt safe that Steve realized maybe he was just not looking in the right places. Ā Because he wants to feel that and noticing Eddieās pretty mouth and clever fingers has made him look a little deeper.
So opening his eyes and staring upside down at Eddieās grin and his big doe-eyes and feeling his hands in his hair as Eddie scratches along his scalp...it seems important.
Like a Moment- with a capital M.
He sighs, and Eddie tracks the rise and fall of Steveās chest.
Eddie leans forward and knocks their foreheads together, and Steve breathes him in. Ā He smells like cigarettes, chlorine, and sunshine. Ā And he just stays there. Ā At some point he rumbles out a contented hum which Steve feels rattling around his head, and it makes the dizzies a little worse, but he wouldnāt trade it for the world.
He still doesnāt love his pool, but when heās like this, he doesnāt hate it nearly as much as he used to.
Iāve seen some arguments about whether or not Steve has canonically bad or neglectful parents. Ā I subscribe to neglectful based on the way that Steve turns on not just his friends but his public personality the first time that not only someone shows him genuine affection, but the first time he feels it for another person. Ā Like he didnāt know HOW to love Nancy the way he should have, but he WANT to.
He develops an attachment to the kids, not just for surviving trauma. Ā He sees himself in Dustin- shy, nerdy, uncertain, and nurtures him. Ā Never lets him think heās not deserving of a genius Phoebe Cates because no one did that for him- especially not his parents. Ā Before the upside down, he relied on being aĀ ācool kidā... until he didnāt have to be. Ā And then he let go without a fight. Ā Even when Billy taunts him about it, Steve doesnāt fight back. Ā He's not hurt about not being King Steve anymore. Ā Because he has something better.
And as much as I love Joyce, she is epitome of 80s parenting. Ā Jonathan has been parentified (doesnāt fight it because he loves Will) but he let go so hard when he meets Argyle because itās the first time heās allowing himself to be young. Ā Which is also why I think he rebels against Nancyās idea for college. Ā Heās never had the chance to be himself- to do something for himself. Ā Heāll never let Will suffer if he can help it, but maybe heās starting to see heās worth it too.
Eddie "the snob" Munson who needs to correct someone when they get a band or a name or a LOTR reference wrong and Steve "actual menace" Harrington who does it on purpose because he finds it funny
