Hello. I'm Azerty.

Welcome to a Genshin-themed incorrect quote museum. Enjoy your stay and have a delightful day. House of the Hearth 🔛🔝 (will sometimes have other stuff sprinkled in too so yea)

[azertyjf]

Lumine: ... Seriously, where is he?

Paimon: Hmph! The nerve of him to interrupt lunch time only to not show up! Do you think he's ducking you after asking to spar with you?

Lohen:

[azertyjf]

Columbina: I must say, you're looking very young today, Doctor.

Dottore: You know very well, that I do not take that as a compliment.

*later in Nod-Krai*

Columbina: ... Did you really hold that much of a grudge over a simple comment?

Dottore: Shut up and give me your Moon Marrow, woman.

[azertyjf]

Varka: Ah! It's great to be back in Mondstadt! But where the heck's the celebrations?

Jean: Oh, Grandmaster. You're back.

Varka: "You're back"? I don't wanna toot my own horn here, but where's the fanfare?

Kaeya: Sorry my friend, we haven't had time to work on your grand return, we have an esteemed guest after all.

Varka: ... Who?

March 7th: Hey there!

Jean: ...

Kaeya: ...

Varka: ... A'ight fair enough.

[azertyjf]

Varka: Ow- Ow! Hey! Jean, give me a break!

Jean: This is 'your' task, Grand Master. It's your duty.

Varka: Come on, can't I just give these to Lohen? Hey, Lohen, help me out here will you?

Lohen:

[azertyjf]

Zibai: Rex Lapis, I have a fun teaser for you. What's heavier? A kilogram of jade, or a kilogram of tea leaves?

Zhongli: None... They're both a kilogram.

Zibai: ... but... no... It's the kilogram of jade, because it's heavier than tea leaves.

Zhongli: ... I know. But they're both a kilogram.

Zibai: ... what?

Paimon: For a mathematician, your brain is really smooth right now, huh?

[azertyjf]

Aino: Good news, guys! Turns out the bread we've been teleporting eating isn't riddled with mold!

Ineffa: It appears to be a new organic kuuvahki that only inhabits wheat products and gets more sentient with every teleportation.

Aino: Which means we're clear! So long as nobody keeps teleporting bread.

Columbina: Question.

Aino: What is it, Kuutar?

Columbina: I teleported bread.

Aino: ... How. Much.

Columbina: I've done nothing but teleport bread for three days.

Lauma: Lady Kuutar! Why is there a mutated Mandragora at the shrine?!

[azertyjf]

Sandrone: ... I miss Rosalyne.

Arlecchino: ... I miss her too.

Columbina: Come now, let's not dampen the mood, she would've loved the three of us reconvening for tea with a new friend, wouldn't you agree, Traveler?

Traveler:

[azertyjf]

Dottore: Ha! Nothing will stop me from godhood! Your precious Kuutar is NOTHING!

Sandrone, for some fucking reason:

[azertyjf]

Jahoda: Ugh! You stupid metalhead! Stop making me look bad in front of Boss Nefer!

Ineffa: My instructions are to scold you if you perform an action unbecoming of the Curatorium.

Jahoda: Oh, go fuck yourself!

Ineffa: Command denied. My programming does not allow me to perform autoeroticism. However, you are capable of perform the act with me.

Jahoda: Wh-Wh-Whoa!!! Hold- HUH?!

[azertyjf]

Sandrone: Columbina, how dare you interrupt my aura-farming! Don't you dare forget they're is a bounty on you're head!

Columbina: There* and your*, Sandrone. Aren't you supposed to know this sort of thing?

Sandrone: I am going to strangle you.

[azertyjf]

DEKUJIROU AWAKEN. I BRING SUSTENANCE.

[azertyjf]

Columbina.

[azertyjf]

Mavuika: N-no... Thrain, how could you?!

Capitano: It's all your fault, Mavuika. I wanted to be with you, but Ronova... she loves who I am.

Ronova: Move on, Pyro Archon. I am no longer interested in claiming your life. I have him now.

Mavuika: AHHHHH!!!

Xilonen: HEY! If you're gonna sleep in my workshop while I work on your stupid bike for the sixth time this week, I prefer you don't scream when you wake up.

Mavuika: I... er- right.

[azertyjf]

Madeon x HUNTR/X

[azertyjf]

*At the Mondstadt court*

Dahlia: Look, all I'm saying is, they got what they wanted and I baptized their child.

Barbara: Deacon Dahlia, you dumped a bucket of water on a baby. A BABY.

Dahlia: It's not called a surprise baptism for nothing!

Venti: I propose we do those more often!

Barbara & Jean: NO!

[azertyjf]

Skirk: Have at thee!

Aether: Okay. *cuts off Skirk's arms* I win.

Skirk: Not yet, you haven't.

Aether: I literally cut your arm off.

Skirk: 'Tis but a scratch.

Aether: A scratch?! You know what, here. *cuts off Skirk's legs*

Aether: My training's finished.

Skirk: We don't stop until I say so.

Aether: What are you talking about?! You're literally limbless!

Skirk: Just a flesh wound.

[azertyjf]

Childe: Master Skirk, I'm not a helpless child anymore, can't you at least give me a challenge?

Skirk: I go easy on you because if I cut your limbs off, you can't regrow them, unlike me.

Lumine: ... Wait... if your limbs were grown out, then... Did you shape your feet to look like high heels?

Skirk: ... A girl's gotta slay and slay 💅