senior year.
its so daunting to say I'm going into my senior year..and to be completely honest it still has not hit me lol! but tbh, out of everything to be disappointed about, the one thing I am disappointed about is my body. 4 years and I only lost weight during my junior year (which unfortunately was only 10 pounds in the first 3 months starting in june of last year.)
but I don't want to hate myself anymore. I don't want to let that hatred for my body, limit what I let myself participate in just because I'm scared my body will show, because what if I laugh too hard and my face looks weird, or what if i look wider in the pictures while next to my friends. I cannot let this dictate my last year, I love myself too much to allow myself to just "push through it."
so this is for me. for my 8th grade self who wore jackets all year long no matter the weather. for my 9th grade self who got so scared she went virtual and risked her education from fear of being perceived. for my 10th grade self who couldn't enjoy her year back in public school because no clothes would fit nicely on her. for my 11th grade self who finally realized people did treat you differently once you lost weight. and for me, because I deserve it so so much.
..and for those similar to me, you do too.