"I wish you would write a fic where--" Han Solo wakes up on pre-TPM Kamino as one of the non-Mando trainers that Jango hired and has to bullshit his way into figuring when he is, where he is, and why he's here.
um how is it possible for your brain to be THiS big. I now have ideas. Please witness them:
Han Solo, liar, con-artist, and scoundrel extraordinaire, has settled down. He has a terrifying wife, an awesome best friend, a Jedi as a brother in law, and a toddler.
Then, one day at the space grocery store, he falls through the floor. Maybe he touched magic granola. Who knows. What matters is that, after shifting so that Ben (who is strapped to his chest) isn’t hurt by the fall, he hits the ground. The white, bright, uncomfortably shiny ground.
Oh, he realizes, this is not the grocery store.
Oh, he realizes, looking at the identical faces surrounding him, this is not the grocery store.
“Hi,” Han says, looking at all the very young clones, “I’m the—” He looks down at Ben, desperately searching for an at least mildly convincing lie, “babysitter.”
Han wonders if Leia was wrong when she said he wouldn’t need his blaster at the grocery store.
Han begins to wonder if it’s morally acceptable to punch a bunch of children.
Han begins to wonder if he’ll even get the chance to punch them before they shoot him.
“Okay,” one of the clones says, “we’ll take you to Jango.”
Han’s internal monologue begins shouting rapid-fire streams of consciousness, the highlights of which include: “my wife is going to kill me for this” “my wife doesn’t exist yet” “I dropped the diaper bag” and “Ben seems oddly calm, oh my god, is he dying”
Cue Han Solo, babysitter extraordinaire, and the story of how he accidentally saves the galaxy while running headlong away from any plot whatsoever, and it grabbing him by the toes, shaking him for hero moments, and finally tossing him back into his present when it’s deemed he’s been through enough
andulkaphoto
baratheonpilled
2087
prguitarman
amandla
ellievsbear
