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I live in a constant state of anxiety ridden sleep deprivation. I am the smartest dumbass you’ll ever meet.

[snoopylovessoup]

I love you, day and night

[tomfoolerytotality]

Superman isn't woke. You're just so evil that you see a man doing acts of kindness and you think it's a targeted political agenda

[otakuvampyre]

This but for people this post is talking about. 🤣

[laikaspeaks]

Get peer reviewed, bitch.

[dogpuppy]

[thickness-protection-program]

One of my dude coworkers was like "we should both quit and start an onlyfans." We??

[thickness-protection-program]

Update he is in fact bi. Happy pride everybody

[thickness-protection-program]

Update he and his 40 year old "roommate" like to bump coochies and didn't rule out the possibility of a third. Happy pride everybody

[thickness-protection-program]

Update he just offered to give me my first bottoming experience happy pride everybody

[thickness-protection-program]

Update me and him made out in the meat cooler on the clock happy pride everybody

[faunlord]

The other day I was knitting on the train and someone commented on it so we chatted a bit and then she pulled out a Turkish drop spindle and started spinning. Which was wild and very fun, right?

THEN my aunt was like hey I found some random yarn stuff in a free box do you want it? And the yarn stuff in question is bobbins of silk singles for plying??? So at this point it seems like the universe is conspiring to get me to start spinning!

[zekedms]

I'm so old i remember when people liked using Windows

[poupon]

That's because they stuck these bad boys to them

[zekedms]

Oh wow, that IS better.

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[horsefigureoftheday]

Nova's tips for beating the heatwave:

1. Check that you have good access to shade trees, a shelter custom made to fit you and all your friends, and plenty of good airflow

2. Find the hottest, sunniest, and least windy part of you pasture and lay down

3. Make sure you look as much as possible like you have died of heatstroke

4. Get your friends in on it

[iwannabeaswampwitch]

Lots of drama in our household

[byjove]

the justification when law enforcement kills someone for no particular reason always boils down to “we got really really scared, you should feel bad for us because we were sososo scared” ok. piss yourself or scream or something. why is killing someone the only option

[yesterdayiwrote]

The irony of this new breed of self-righteous AI hunters on AO3 is that they're all just copy and pasting peoples fics into AI detectors, which are all operated by AI and therefore THEY are feeding people's work into the algorithm without their consent and in some cases no doubt circumventing the locks people put on to avoid getting scraped...

Don't copy and paste anyone's AO3 work into third party websites, you're not the good guys in this situation?

[zaziki1412]

Reblog cause FACTS

[ballwizard]

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

[cherrybeachbum]

🌵𐃢𐃡🌵

Artist: mudmonsterclayworks

[scruffylookingpiratecaptain]

I think people have truly lost any ability to be patient with storytelling.

‘I don’t understand this’ They’ll explain it if you wait.

‘I don’t like how this episode left things hanging’ There’s a continuation next week.

‘This character is flat’ Wait for them to be fleshed out.

So many of the complaints I see about shows lately are people being confused by things THAT THE SHOW WANTS YOU TO BE CONFUSED BY THATS THE FUN OF MYSTERY AND FORESHADOWING YOU ABSOLUTE GOBLINS THE MAIN CHARACTER IS ALSO CONFUSED AND THEYRE GONNA DO A BIG REVEAL AND EXPLANATION LATER IF YOU WOULD JUST FUCKING WAIT

[hooray4skeleton]

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

dump his ass. move to a walkable city. start hormones. get into fiber crafts. dye your hair weird. grow an herb garden. foster a distrustful cat. take a welding class. invite your friends over for tea and cake. get way too into obscure media. explore a new cuisine. lie to the police. protest in the streets. life has so many possibilities don't it?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

make out with a frenemy. buy noise cancelling headphones. wear office inappropriate attire. quit a toxic workplace. improve your apartment. start a dog walking sidegig. get on first name basis with your local librarians. bully politicians at town hall meetings. get an unexpected piercing. cultivate farmer's market connections. trade recipes with a gossipy old neighbor. unionize your apartment complex. move to the countryside. let a friend take you larping. keep a sword on your mantleplace

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

get a tattoo on your 40th birthday. be tempted to buy a loom. do a charity drag show. sue your landlord. buy a really nice kitchen appliance. volunteer at an anarchist soup kitchen. rediscover a tv show you watched when you were 8. spam your state senators. shop at asian grocery stores. do cosplay. buy trans flags in bulk and mount them along the highway. go viral for unexpected reasons. move in with your best friend. make lemoncello with leftover lemon rinds. run for school board membership. explore pegging.

[thenaughtykettle]

I read this in the garden like a poem. I hope you like it.

Joy is Resistance; Try New Things

I read you a tumblr that is a list of new things to try. It feels like a poem to me. Joy is resistance; Try new things.

[maidslime]

Ok like. Imagine life without ads. You wake up, check your messages across a variety of apps, no ads. You get up and put on the tv while you prep your breakfast, no ads. Maybe you drive somewhere and switch on the radio, no ads. Maybe you drive a long distance, yet somehow, not a single billboard on your path. You pick up a newspaper or magazine to pass the time, no advertisements only articles. You turn on your game console, the home screen is just about your games, no ads to buy more. You open a streaming app, you don't pay extra for no ads, there's just no ads ever.

Think about how much of your time is spent looking at ads. "Download ublock" yeah I know, I have. But that doesn't change that the world is covered with endless advertising. Imagine never seeing that again. How much better our lives would be.