I mean. But, yeah.

[number1mongrel]

"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"

"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"

"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."

"Nobody's there?"

"Nobody's not there!"

"So everyone's there?"

"Everybody but nobody!"

[pretend-pretend-vampire]

drinking blood isn't even that bad really. they can make more

[adastrabbit]

fucking the everything bagel for everything

[eategg24]

everything? including war?

[adastrabbit]

fucking the war bagel for war

[castigatedcast]

soon I will be euthanized due to my various behavioral issues and also they just don’t like me

[ourdarling]

insane shit happening over on uquiz right now

[pangur-and-grim]

alright I'm almost finished Project Hail Mary, and I have to say, I don't get why people are shipping the guy with Markiplier when he's already in a perfectly healthy queer-platonic relationship with the alien spider made of rocks

[pangur-and-grim]

that's insane. we need to change this

[dateamonster]

by the fourth or fifth time you "come back wrong" no ones even impressed anymore

[dateamonster]

and good luck explaining things to your insurance provider!

[greelin]

“what’s up with you and vampires, man?” we don’t have the time to discuss this

[xtec]

This is what the average YouTube thumbnail looks like now

[noneuclideangarf]

spent too long on this

[wizardarchetypes]

No more sleeping with my phone within reach because I was having an extremely vivid dream that I was the victim of some sort of mass-poisoning. the notorious poisoner? "The Centipede Cult." They used a specific type of poison, referred to only by its chemical nomenclature, which I somehow remembered perfectly upon waking. It went: □□ Na({}^{2})

Because that makes sense. Anyway, this poison would submit me to its well-known and much-feared symptom: "17 Day Paralysis" in which you're paralyzed for exactly 17 days and you only chance of survival is to be on full machine support for 17 days.

Just before the medical team intubated me I remembered I have a Zoom meeting with my academic advisor today (I actually do in real life) and I needed to email him to let him know I was the victim of a mass-poisoning and would need to reschedule.

I kept trying to type the "□" symbol in my dream but could not figure out how and gave up.

I woke up in real life to find I'd begun drafting an email in my sleep to my professor in the Gmail app. I was apparently using talk-to-text (I often do because of my hand neuropathy) but speaking in Irish, which talk-to-text never understands, so other than the words in English "poison" and "centipede" the entire email was complete nonsense.

[wizardarchetypes]

I told my advisor about this and he said, "well, if you had been poisoned, I would have provided you whatever academic supports available to us."

[wizardarchetypes]

Bc so many people have asked, the □ in the dream was in fact just a wingdings square symbol. Your phone/browser isn't blocking an emoji. You're seeing it right.

[catasters]

[crownofstardustandbone]

[revcleo]

He's gotta practice until he's good at it!

[tranthony]

grout white shark

[oplishin]

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

[oplishin]

OH I'M SURE

[3000s]

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

[3000s]

- mockup of results from my new search engine called "Google OCD"

[rudeteens]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[ceruleanheaven]

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin