a space hobo came and told me

we all got a chicken duck woman thing waiting for us

[exclipsensfw]

purity politics

(reposting this because tumblr deleted my blog funny enough for nsfw)

[exclipsensfw]

Someone sent me anon hate then reported every single one of my posts because of this post

[itmightrain]

The thing about gay sailors in the Victorian era is that England and America had totally different takes on it. In the british navy they could, and did, literally kill men for having consensual relationships with other men. But in the US navy, even tho John Adams literally copied England's naval regulations when making America's version, he chose to leave out every proscription against sodomy. And no one knows why!!! England was like hmm yes the death penalty and America was like i dont really see how thats my business. And like gay American sailors could still be charged with things like "uncleanliness" or "indecency" (charges that were vague enough to cover a lot of different things) but bc it wasnt specifically forbidden in the regulations "the commanding officers [were given] wide discretion to prosecute, punish, or ignore."*

And by and large US officers seem to have ignored it. We literally have the records of every flogging (the most extreme form of punishment allowed during these specific years) onboard a naval vessel for the years of 1846-1848 and almost all of the cases that involved homosexual activity "unambiguously refer to male/male homosexual activity involving attempted assaults on children, not consensual couplings between adults."* There are also multiple recorded instances throughout the Victorian Era of an American sailor coming forward with a charge of sexual assault and pulling in other sailors or even officers as witnesses who tell their captain yeah i totally saw them and didn't say anything until this sailor told me it was nonconsensual. There are even records recorded by naval recruitment officers of men with extremely explicit gay tattoos being allowed to join the navy. Why did the US navy not care enough to even include it in the regulations while the British navy literally hanged men for it??? Were we so hard up for sailors that John Adams was like bitch we need every gay sailor we can get????

And weirdly enough this was true on American Whaling ships too! In the recorded cases where homosexual activity led to sailors being disciplined (in some cases punishment so mild as just being dropped off their ship at the next port) it was usually in situations where rape was involved and/or there was a high degree of ship disruption related to it (guys getting into a public knife fight for example). Idk I just think thats so interesting especially when America and England were so similar to be so different in this particular area is fascinating

*quotes from Unruly Desires: American Sailors and Homosexualities in the Age of Sail by William Benemann

[bigmickswingin]

Adams is also the right to legal counsel and innocent until proven guilty guy.

being against arbitrary prosecution seems to have been a Thing for that guy

although its not unexpected that [tumblr] finds talking about gay sailors way more fun. anyway, here's an Adams quote taken way out of context as a little treat:

"The shortest road to men’s hearts is down their throats."

(which could mean nothing)

[wifehaver103947]

can anyone help me with showijg tbis to a european as fast as possible

[diabonoquarto]

hi european here. what the fuck is that

[wifehaver103947]

🎇🎆🎇

UNCONTESTED

DIVORCE $399

SPOUSE’S SIGNATURE NOT REQUIRED

🎆🎇🎆

(plus court fees)

[memewhore]

[captainsingleton]

Man: What’s a matter girl, you had a little bit too much corn?

Pig: *very long disgruntled groan which rises in pitch*

Man: Is that a yeah?

Pig: *shorter groan*

Man: Okay.  Here I come, I gotta get the intoxicated pig… Look at this pig…

Pig: *quiet snort*

Man: Hey!

Pig: *snort*

Man: Are you messed up, girl?  

Pig: *short snort*

Man: Never seen a damn pig… Look at that, that one here’s fine, that one there is fine, this one here is turned belly up 

Pig: *snort snort snort snort*

Man: Hey you

Pig: *snort*

Man: Whoa!  Whoa!  Shit!  [Unintelligible] HOWH!  Come here girl! 

Pig: *grunt grunt grunt*

Man: Holy hell, fuck…I didn’t mean to do that

[kitharion]

“Whoa! Woah! Shit The Bed Almighty!” Is my new favorite expletive

[marzipanandminutiae]

and if anyone’s wondering, the man (from Cecilia, Kentucky, USA) had emptied a broken deer feeder full of accidentally fermented corn into a field where no animals were supposed to be. the pigs broke out of their pen, got into the corn, and the one you see here seriously overindulged

they observed her overnight and got Animal Control to do a check-up on her. she’s fine

so yes, you you can enjoy the video without worrying about Drunk Pig

source

[fierceawakening]

So glad to hear she’s just drunk off her… whatever you call a pig ass. Haunches?

[batsandbirdbrains]

Look I don’t care how implausible it is, I don’t care how ridiculous it is. Dick is eight years old when he becomes Robin. It’s the funniest fuckin thing and I refuse to ever make him older than eight when he bullies a grown ass Bruce into letting him go out at night with him.

Does Bruce take him on kiddie runs until he’s a little older? Maybe. Does Batman stand menacingly behind a brightly colored little bird to threaten the goons while Robin can’t see him? You know he does.

But Robin is still actually terrifying when he first appears on the scene, because he’s a teeny tiny fluttery little thing that does cartwheels and handstands and makes puns then launches himself full force to kick a man in the nose and then cackles when he bleeds. His laughter makes goons shiver, they hear it bouncing around warehouses and half of them bolt, because they learn very quickly what happens when a feral Robin appears.

The Gotham rogues all immediately have beef with a literal third grader because he took the bats attention away and also because he’s roundhouse kicked them all in the shins at some point and that shit hurt like hell, and then he laughed in their faces while making a pun about their villain name.

Majority of the rogues everywhere hate Nightwing because they all know he used to be the feral child that they all thought Batman should have put on a leash, half of them have been straight up bitten by him before he lost all his baby teeth, and they’re all so bitter about the fact that they’ve been beaten by an actual elementary school student. And now he’s all grown up? He’s fucking terrifying.

[depsidase]

[gingermaybel]

AotC in a nutshell

(Commission from my lord my queen my light @zuo-zz )

[kushblazer666]

[stealingpotatoes]

AU where Anakin and Owen are actually brothers like we deserved in the films. Nothing about the plot changes it just makes everything like 20% sadder. (Plus space wizard farmer family shenanigans).

I honestly believe half-brother Owen could give Anakin enough of a reality check for this to be a fix-it au LOL

(commission info // tip jar!)

[byjove]

I think maybe the most ironic part of the white supremacist “Muslims are taking over Europe, save European culture and its people!” rhetoric is that they’ve been saying it for the past 1,300 years. No exaggeration. This is something they’ve been fearmongering about since the 8th century.

[medievalthymes]

not to sound like a medieval peasant but, cheese and bread. garlic and butter. a menagerie of spices. potatoes. that’s what life is all about right there.

[madeofklay]

Today, one of my second graders was working on shape name recognition, and we got to this picture of a pyramid shape with a wide-ish base. When he saw it, his eyes lit up and he turned to me with a huge grin on his face, pointed at it, and said "When the teacher forgets to assign homework" before bursting out into hysterics, covering his mouth and giggling. I don't understand what happened except this kid CLEARLY knows about the strong comedic and memeable value of mathematical shapes and emotions that I, an old millennial, cannot comprehend I did, however, try to recreate this moment as the meme this child must have seen in his head

[chuckletons]

maybe he was thinking of the dancing triangle meme??

[dragonmons]

i have seen this gif with that exact caption before. this is absolutely the one he was thinking of

[bogleech]

That kid saw one of the simplest geometric shapes and said that's blorbo from my memes 👍

[brainbubblegum]

Just how did Venom convince Anne to kiss Eddie that deep

[swampthingy]

[actuallyapathy]

[the-lumpfish-queen]

I love environmental storytelling

[belphegor1982]

[hotlegsharker]

[hellsite-yano]

this is about green eggs and ham

[wizardarchetypes]

HELP i’m sitting at an outdoor cafe and this lady was at another table next to me and the barista called my name and I stood up to walk ten feet to grab my drink and the lady JUMPED up and LUNGED over to my table and took my seat????? i’m not even gonna say anything bc I’m so confused. they’re virtually the same tables with the same views and amount of sunlight etc.

[wizardarchetypes]

decided the funniest possible response was to just sit back down at the table with her. She’s not looking at me.

[wizardarchetypes]

she just got up to get her coffee and put her purse and jacket and hat down to save her seat. this is so funny what kind of world does she live in?? anyway we’re just sharing a table now.

[wizardarchetypes]

ppl keep suggesting she’s neurodivergent and ‘needed’ that table for whatever reason. I’m Autistic & ADHD so I can sympathize with that but she could have asked LMAO. I CANNOT stress enough that as soon as my butt was out of my seat she quite literally lunged for it like we were the finalists in a game of Musical Chairs & the prize was one million dollars

[wizardarchetypes]

THANK YOU!!! This always rubs me the wrong way!! When someone is rude and ppl immediately assume they’re Autistic, the implication is that u think Autistic people are all rude!

[vooduude2]

My leftover pasta looked so beautiful in the microwave