You ever just have an idea so stupid it’s genius? Well mine was so stupid it needed its own animatic so here yall go
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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trying on a metaphor
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@bbbeebowser
You ever just have an idea so stupid it’s genius? Well mine was so stupid it needed its own animatic so here yall go
on the topic of humans being the intergalactic “hold my beer” species: imagine an alien stepping onto a human starship and seeing a space roomba™ with a knife duct taped onto it, just wandering around the ship
it doesn’t have any special intelligence. it’s just a normal space roomba. there are other space roombas on the ship and they don’t have knives. it’s just this one. knife space roomba has full clearance to every room in the ship. occasionally crew members will be talking and then suddenly swear and clutch their ankle. knife space roomba putters off, leaving them to their mild stab wounds.
“what is the point?” asks the alien as another crew member casually steps over the knife-wielding robot. “is it to test your speed and agility?”
“no it doesn’t really go that fast,” replies the captain.
“does it teach you to stay ever-vigilant?”
“I mean I guess so but that’s more of a side effect.”
“does it weed out the weak? does it protect you from invaders? do repeated stabbings let your species heal more quickly in the future?”
“it doesn’t stab very hard, it gets us more than it gets our enemies, and no, but that sounds cool — someone write that down.”
“but then what is its purpose?”
“I don’t know,” the captain says, leaning down to give the space roomba an affectionate pat. “it just seemed cool”
this is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard but I thought about it for five seconds and realized that if I were, say, a random communications officer onboard this ship and someone taped a knife to a roomba it would take maybe three weeks before even I was inordinately fond of Stabby. I would be proud of Stabby when I met up with my other spacefleet friends for space coffee, I would tell them about the time Stabby got the second mate in the ankle five seconds before the fleet admiral beamed on board and she swore in seven different languages in front of high command.
also by the fourth day Stabby would be in the ship’s log, he’d have little painted-on insignia, people would salute him as he went by, and someone would hook up a twitter account to tweet maniacal laughter and/or a truly terrible knock-knock joke every time he managed to nick someone.
Omg so the ting I typed up might actually happen this is gold
I am suddenly astonished that Stabby isn’t Farscape canon. 1812 was weird enough.
Stabby’s little charging dock would start accruing cuddly toys and commemorative holo-vids of Stabby’s greatest stabs. Its insignia would start off at a fairly low rank, but soon, without anyone every discussing it, everyone would know that Stabby got to take the rank of the highest ranking crew member it stabbed. The ceremony for Flag Admiral Stabby was beautiful. The captain gave a speech.
why am i proud of stabby this is irrational
INCIDENT LOG: 46-7-2 Action #45437: Desc: Covert enemy boarding attempt
Details: Six (6) members of a Mercenary/Pirate crew of little renown attempted to infiltrate ship in order to steal equipment and/or personnel.
Prior to being detained they had remained undetected for eight (8) hours and accumulated several high value materials (see attached log), and incapacitated and restrained several crewmen (see attached log) in dock #3, with the intention of using a life boat to exfiltrate.
Just prior to their would-be escape, the boarding party encountered the ship’s mascot. A cleaning unit which had been modified by crew members to mount a traditional Terran melee weapon, as well as an officer’s insignia (having been jokingly given a commission by the Captain the night before). Curious, one picked it up, before realising the mounted weapon had a nickel finish (highly toxic to their species) on the handle, and dropped it in a panic.
As the unit’s anti-impact sensors had been disabled, it immediately tried to right itself on landing. This caused it to flip over and slash the third knee of the boarder who dropped it, prompting the rest of the boarders to flee. In doing so, they tripped over a waste container, causing the unit to “chase” them, as it collected the trail of dust they left.
The security crew were alerted to the boarding party’s presence by an entry on “Sargent Stabby’s Hit List” - an account on an intership microblogging site which automatically logs any injuries caused by the cleaning unit in question - and quickly intercepted them.
Casualties: Four (4) crewmen treated for minor lacerations sustained after detaining boarding party, one (1) captured crewman treated for negative reaction to sedatives used by captors.
Belligerent status: Two (2) members of the enemy boarding party remain in stable condition in sickbay. Three (3) remaining surrendered peacefully and remain in the brig. One (1) refuses to leave the safety of a storage cupboard he went to ground in.
Recommendations/Actions:
All captured guards to undergo debriefing and possible disciplinary action for breaches of security protocol.
Remind all crew members to report missing colleagues immediately.
Retain a guard outside cleaning storage room 87 until the final boarder can be coaxed out and properly detained.
Cleaning unit D4.87 AKA “Sargent Stabby” has been promoted to Quartermaster, and is now considered the superior officer of all autonomous drones on the ship. All Class #1 drones have been programmed to salute their superior with their effector, should it enter the room while they’re active.
Ok but what about that final bit - all the other space roombas respectfully standing to the side and saluting when Quatermaster Stabby comes past?
Quartermaster Stabby goes on to have many more adventures and many more promotions.
Quartermaster Stabby becomes a famous icon of the human race, proof that humans can and often are unintentionally terrifying, but maybe there actually IS something to their strange attachments to inanimate objects…?
Aliens are now convinced that humans have some weird psychic/aura powers or something. “Object Tamers” they call us. Humans are so amused that they adopt the term for themselves. They love it. They start printing it on bracelets and T-shirts. Aliens can’t tell if this is a joke or a confession.
Through a disturbing number of coincidences like the above, aliens begin to fear Quartermaster Stabby and are legitimately unsure if it has intelligence or not. It doesn’t help that humans refuse to break the joke to explain it to them.
Alien scientists try to explain the strange phenomenon that is Quartermaster Stabby. They cannot. Humans are delighted.
Quartermaster Stabby is eventually promoted to a position of authority over all autonomous drones in the entire human empire. It also escaped the ship once and managed to become the mayor of a small alien city. That city has since begun using the fact as a tourist attraction, and the episode has brought to human attention the fact that Mayor Stabby technically fulfills all of the criteria necessary to become a president or council member. (Minus the sentience.)
Humans are now trying to vote Mayor Stabby into office, using the aliens’ inability to determine its sentience level to their advantage.
They are successful. Counselor Stabby is most universally beloved representative of the human race. (Among humans, anyway. The aliens have mixed reactions, ranging from amusement, to fear, to outrage.)
Counselor Stabby goes on to somehow reveal a corrupt plot among several other counsel members and essentially averts a huge political catastrophe, all because one of the spies dropped her earring and Counselor Stabby ate it. The earring was bugged. Good call, Counselor Stabby.
Every time Counselor Stabby breaks down and has to be repaired, trillions of humans flood its social media accounts with ‘get well’ messages, and many flowers and gifts are sent to the repair bay or to its charging station.
Counselor Stabby has somehow blundered its way into receiving all of the highest honors that can be bestowed by human society. It helps run an empire. It saves lives. It cleans donut crumbs off of the floor without being asked.
All without a single sentient thought.
Counselor Stabby becomes legend.
The humans have started a campaign to use Counselor Stabby as a model to create better bots.
“Why does a human’s consideration for a ‘better bot’ mean more knives, sir?” the young ambassador said, staring at the contraption in front of him.
“ we are unsure of their purpose, we have many reports of these creations protecting their home ships. “ The advisor said also staring at the contraptions many spinning blades.
The residing human walked into the room squealing, quite to loud for the ambassador’s taste, at the contraption.
“ Aren’t you just a spinning bundle of death! “ The human cried out happily? (The ambassador was still unsure of humans deployment of emotions.) The delivery droid, with knife blades above its propellors, bobbed up and down before depositing it’s ‘gift’ (as the human called it) and leaving through the bot-hatch with a frightening scream accompanying it.
Thes humans, they were, well, humans. The ambassador would need to read more on their culture to even remotely understand them.
**STABBY**
*buzzes happily*
Is … is the origin of Stabby the Roomba really only three years ago? Really?
Wow.
You ever just have an idea so stupid it’s genius? Well mine was so stupid it needed its own animatic so here yall go
【 DannyMay 2019 】 「 May 16th ~ Eavesdropping 」
【 DannyMay 2019 】 「 May 17th ~ Hands 」
Ok but these are really cool tho.
(Source: collegehumor/blogwell/Caldwell Tanner)
I thought all of these were funny but then Twitter just had me laugh hysterically at accuracy
Arianna Appreciation Month? Let’s have some young Darianna.
Guys its here!!!!
FINALLY
Inktober / Tangledtober #4 Little
And here we have tiny Rapunzel having a lazy afternoon with her only favorite books.
The Soft Smile™ Eugene has whenever he looks at Rapunzel, reblog if you agree.
Bonus:
I absolutely adore that headcanon that went around a while ago where the layout of the Fenton household is constantly shifting and changing
but what if we took it a step further
what if the WHOLE OF AMITY PARK was affected by the portal, being in such close proximity to a tear between dimensions and effectively SOAKING in all the ectoplasmic radiation it’s been pumping out over the years
so this quaint little town starts to develop a few rather odd… quirks
like the water fountain in the park turns strange colours on occasion and smells (and tastes as Tucker discovered on a dare) strongly of burnt sugar
there’s this one road on the edge of town that, though it appears to be straight, somehow loops back on itself so that you end up back where you started, but only if you’re wearing shoes, this odd detail was discovered when Paulina’s heel broke as she and Star were writing a school paper on the landmark and she had to continue barefoot
the local shopping mall has its strange traits too, the glass ceiling of the food court shows an odd stormy red sky no matter the weather outside, except for once every seventeen days when it randomly turns into an aurora borealis-esque light show for differing periods of time, Kwan has these days marked on his calendar and sometimes skips school to see it, sometimes Danny joins him
a lot of the stores reach much farther back than physics says they really should, clerks always remember to clear the back of the shops on Monday afternoons, some of the stores like to revert back to regular size on Tuesdays
the parking lot behind the bowling alley is a favourite of Ida Manson’s, she and the elderly of Amity frequent the spot on Saturday mornings as the strange gravity shifts do wonders for their aching joints, being able to dance and leap like they’re light as a feather makes them feel young again
the walk to school could take someone five minutes one day, and an hour the next, Lancer has added ‘spacial disturbances’ to his list of acceptable excuses for being late
there’s this one tree in the park that every child feels compelled to climb, because halfway up they discover that they’re suddenly climbing back towards the ground upside down, their friends have to grab hold of their arms to stop them from falling into the sky until they climb back down the tree again and gravity goes back to normal
the Mansons lobby to have the tree cut down after catching their daughter climbing it, Sam and the neighbourhood children protest by climbing the tree and hanging upwards from the lower branches like reverse bats, the parents refuse to let the tree be destroyed until their childrens’ sense of gravity is restored
nobody goes down the slide at the Nasty Burger playground any more, the last three kids to do so still haven’t stopped screaming, nobody can figure out why
a majority of the residents of Amity Park overlook most of these strange occurrences, or put police tape around the dangerous ones and ignore them, they live in a town where ghosts attack regularly, changes like these have become not only unsurprising, but expected
and then the animals start to mutate, dogs are born with unnaturally coloured fur, fish are leaping out of their tanks and floating above the water, cats slip behind one object and come out behind another across the yard, some herbivorous animals gain a craving for meat and all of the local pigeons decide that flying in a spiral shape above the public library for three hours every morning is a productive start to the day
even plants start to grow into weird shapes and sizes, fruits with strange tastes and colours become a trend at local Sunday markets, seeds grow without even being planted or watered, root vegetables are found on above-ground vines, berries start growing out of the painted wood of a backyard fence
and then the children start to change
the only trend among the human mutations that local doctors can find is that every person identified had been a child or young teenager whose body had yet to finish developing when the ghosts had first started attacking (or, more accurately, when the portal had first been opened)
mutations range from purely harmless to downright disturbing, a teenager with blue eyebrows, a child with horns growing from the back of their left hand, a little girl whose hair drips down her back as though it’s made of liquid, an older boy whose teeth all fell out and grew back seemingly normal but turned out to be diamond hard and capable of biting through solid steel
the mutations only grow as the years pass, the older children developing dangerous abilities that could rival some of the local ghosts, kids being capable of duplicating themselves, a girl spotted flying to school, someone with green skin seen at the local supermarket, it’s even said that the Fenton’s kid can knock buildings over just by screaming at them
the Guys in White stop trying to protect the town, it becomes very clear that it doesn’t need protecting, it needs CONTAINING, but they soon discover that this is a far more difficult task than first assumed
because the overpowered youth of Amity Park have grown accustomed to a new-found sense of freedom the likes they’d never experienced before
and they don’t like being contained
Sam is such an icon. But I wish she had better clothes
PhannieMay Theme Three; Road Trip today’s prompt is heartbreak
Twitterから。
Let the bnha kids be dumb 16 year olds (based off of this twitter post by @perdizzion)
Source: gabester-sketch
Some Danny Phantom redesigns. I didn’t change Danny’s ghost form because I like the way it is