My self-care looks like a YouTube video (for now)
I’m baaaaaack!
For the last two and a half years, I’ve been quietly working in an office, living a semi-comfortable -- average -- millenial American life (sans avocado toast ‘cuz I’m low-carbing it).
Quietly on the outside. Inside, my mind is screamin and my heart is in a continual state of panic.
In the midst of my pleasantville life, I broke. I overworked myself, distanced myself from friends and family, and worked and worked and worked. Until I couldn’t work anymore, and I just broke.
It was a terrible breaking, with my mental health reaching one of the lowest points I had ever experienced. Nothing traumatic happened per se, and I can’t necessarily explain why or how I broke. The closest explanation I can get to is that my tolerance for less-than-ideal situations is much lower than it used to be. At 25 years old, I have the “wisdom” (ha!) that my younger self didn’t that life can be whatever I want it to be. Or rather, whatever I let it be.
But, the thing about me is that my low moments are exactly the moments that give way to me at my best. In those moments, Rudyard Kipling’s words ring constantly in my head - “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster/ And treat those two imposters just the same.” So, with some soul searching and the beginnings of self-healing, I decided to do something different with my life.
I decided to start a YouTube vlog.
“What’s your vlog about?” you might ask. Uhhhh, I don’t have a clear answer. Right now, it’s just an attempt to take my life in a different direction and incorporate something that I love to do, something that I’m good at -- something that is me.
I’m out of practice and I don’t know where this new direction is going to lead. I don’t know if I’m going to find success in this. At this point, I’ve done a few videos already, and honestly, I don’t get that many views. But, this is me prioritizing myself. Some people go for a run for self-care, some people treat themselves -- I make videos (for now).
There’s a lot more I should be doing to maintain my mental health, but I count this as a start.









