you will only see this if I trust you

dumb shit idek

[artttho]

What? No april fools joke this year tumblr staff? Not really feelin it this year tumblr staff? No quip about copy or lizards tumblr staff? No weird horse we have to keep alive tumblr staff? No fake premium avatars tumblr staff?? You disgust me

[trivia-goddess]

fun facts: apparently the april fool’s day joke was contained entirely in the group chat function, which nobody fucking uses

[floralmarsupial]

the epilogue after karkat and dave go home

[quibbs]

these ideas hit me like a bolt of lightning at 3am

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

listen i bitch about the 2004 movie a lot but the (unintentionally?) funniest fucking part is when Meryl Streep as Aunt Josephine is like “Where’s your brother?” and Violet’s like “over there” and he’s just… standing completely still in front of the stove. He says he’s looking for napkins but it looks like he just decided to stand in front of the stove and disassociate and he’d been there for like 10 minutes before Josephine noticed him

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

this is comedy gold

[henchmaxxing]

Baudelaire Witch Project

[toogaytofunctionmusic]

We tend to ignore the fact that angels are just ghosts that you do want around–to help you cheat at baseball"

Justin and Griffin McElroy

[xxthewolvenstormxx]

“Live your life with the confidence of someone willing to claim the good smell is them”

-Justin McElroy, MBMBAM Face 2 Face: Toronto! Listen!

[astrobro]

Not to be horny on main but imagine meeting a man that isn’t a complete waste of time

[dorothygale]

*planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what

[necroducer-kotaro]

There are some things which the English dub did okay. This is NOT one of them.

[apolloendymion]

what are you talking about this is a flawless localization

[feastofsnakes]

Why must my feelings be "rational"? Is it not enough to sit quietly in my hawaiian shirt, deranged?

[ghoulsters2]

[birthdaylobotomy]

im….real? my existence has… impacts? i touch things and they move, i breath in and out and the air buzzes around me? the sun rests on my skin…. grass is crushed under my toes… people see me and have an idea of who i am… my name is on papers….? im sorry this is… this is too much….  

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

one time when i was a teenager an adult said to me “you know, we do talk about you when you’re not there” and i never recovered

[toocooltobehipster]

Banned Grey Poupon ad is hilariously wrong [YouTube]

[mcthundergoose]

Exhilarating.

[fenkko]

cats!

[punk-mom-deactivated20201103]

The best one.

[the-leoqueen]

I’ve always wonder what might have happened if before A Single Pale Rose, Steven wandered into a jewelry shop and struck up a conversation with the person behind the counter. “Oh yeah I’m pretty familiar with gems myself, I even have one embedded in my stomach” and he lifts up his shirt to reveal his gem stone which makes the jeweler bend down to examine it and goes “why that’s a mighty fine diamond you have there” and Steven is just like

[fleetwood-mac-andcheese]

Here’s an idea: all elected officials must take a mandatory sex ed class before being sworn into office

[writterings]

whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now.

[writterings]

these kids will be like “can you drive me home? i don’t have gas money but-” and im already pullin out my keys and am like. sweetheart, you are a child. i am not charging a child gas money.

[writterings]

i literally almost lunged across the counter to throw hands with some old hag who yelled at and insulted one of our 16 y/o girls but instead i threw her sandwich at her and told her to never fucking come back

[writterings]

old dudes will flirt with our young girls too and i’ll be like ay man this is a truck stop, normal customer service rules dont apply here. i can and will call the cops on you.

[writterings]

im the only manager that actively tells them to steal food because these are teenagers and they are HUNGRY

[rexrattorum]

You are the only valid manager