beardless archive

handsvett.tumblr.com<- real blog. This one currently exists as a placeholder until I figure out the best way to defy this platform's unworkability.

[beardless-thundergod]

Well, I guess I’m back. Don’t know how active I’ll be on this one compared to my alt, but hi, everyone.

[georgiansuggestion]

two questions first is ur nephew single and second if he IS single what's his number

Gentle Reader--

I would not wish Such an Arrangement on a Despised Enemy, let Alone a Cherished and Estimable Reader of this Humble Journal. The Last I have spoken to R-- on the Subject, he has described Himself to be "Disinclined to Matrimony, as you Yourself are, though I find the Company of Ladies Especially Agreeable, Especially when they are Already Married, and their Husbands are Also Worth Knowing."

One is Forced to concede that he may have learned from Observation.

Yours &tc., The Editor

[beardless-thundergod]

It really is way too late for me to start writing this now, given that I have a lecture tomorrow, but fuck it, I gotta.

I’ve been on tumblr since September 2014. That is not a healthy age to be introduced to any incarnation of tumblr, but the friends I’ve made here have made me not regret it in the long run. I’ve thought about quitting, but the thought of not hearing from those people have made me think “oh hell no”.

Which is why it is not just perplexing, enraging and fucking exhausting, but also saddening, to see @staff decide that the best way to handle Tumblr is to ruin it.

Historical art with nudity? Gone.

Film/comic/serial/videogame/book fanart with nudity? Gone.

Nonsexual photos of people naked in nature, an objectively beautiful kind of art? Gone.

So much good-natured, inoffensive art that happens to be sexual in nature? Gone.

Artists that earn their bread by art that may be of a sexual nature? Gone. Because “EWW NIPPLES”.

There’s countless more. Sex workers. Independent adult entertainers. Writers. Anybody into anything more serious than playing Minecraft on peaceful.

The level of bullshit is just... I don’t have the energy to go into any detail on how much I think this “change” sucks. So fuck it. Tumblr’s not getting more ad money.

People who feel like they’ll miss me can go to my DM’s because I ain’t dead.

To the rest of y’all, it’s been grand. Not because of Tumblr itself or anything @staff did, but rather the experiences that were had in spite of that.

[millennial-review-deactivated20]

[norsesuggestions]

Which snake is big, covers all of earth, and is a good boi? 🐍

[teckmonky]

Wine mama Loki: MY CHILD!

[medusagirlfriend-blog]

[lesbianshepard]

why are straight white guys so obsessed with world war 2

[lesbianshepard]

like i’ll talk about my interest in history and i’ll have guys be like “yeah i’m a history buff too i love world war 1 and 2″ like cool i was talking about ancient history. like the conversation was literally about ancient egypt. 

my fave thing is replying “oh, cool. i just can’t get into it. i like everyday life and religion and art. personally, i find war boring.” and let me tell you it’s a journey to watch them try and understand that killing thousands of people indiscriminately doesn’t hold my attention. 

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

yup it’s always the “oh you’re just not into history” and the response of “yes i am im just into ancient history” and you’re ready to throw 38 greek myths at them just to shut them up about the kinds of bombers the britsh were using in the second world war

[seidocatcher]

except like. they really dont give a single fuck about wwi/ii. they care about the weapons and machinery. do they care about the events and the people? do they care about why wars were actually important? in my experience, very, very rarely.

[prokopetz]

I think that gets to heart of it: they’re not history buffs in any real sense. What they are is war fanboys. They collect and curate technical information about wars just like any other fanboy collects and curates technical information about the subject of their fandom. It’s basically not real to them; knowing what exact metal the buttons of SS uniforms were made of is of no greater significance to them than knowing the exact height of the captain’s chair on the starship Enterprise - it’s just another shiny technical fact for their collection.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

As somebody who is actually very interested in the social history surrounding both WWI and WWII, but couldn’t give two shits about uniform buttons and bomber construction, this is pretty accurate. These guys will say they’re interested in history but know practically nothing about how WWI altered the course of psychology and perceptions of PTSD/mental health, or about how African American civil rights activists spearheaded the Double V Campaign to combat fascism and bigotry both abroad and on the home front, calling out how non-Black Americans were supposedly standing for freedom and liberty whilst still imposing segregation back in the United States, etc.

The social history of wars in the 20th century is fascinating, but that’s not what these guys care about. As @prokopetz says, they’re not interested in history, they’re military fanboys. 

[a-royal-obsession]

On this day in 1718.

Karl XII (1682-1718) was killed at the siege of Fredriksten. He was shot in the left side of the head and died instantly. No one knows whether he was killed by an enemy or by one of his own men. To this day, people are still trying to solve the mystery surrounding the death of the “Beardless thundergod”.

At the time of his death, Karl was 36 years old and childless, so the contenders for the throne were his nephew Karl Fredrik (1700-1739) and his younger sister Ulrika Eleonora (1688-1741) The latter eventually succeeded (on the grounds that she agreed to abolish absolute monarchy as well as her right to inherit the throne - in other words, she did not inherit the crown but was elected) and she was crowned Queen Regnant in Uppsala Cathedral on the 17th of March 1719.

[yesterdaysprint]

Young homeless man on a bench by a statue of Karl XII, Kungsträdgården, Stockholm, ca. 1945

[sildesalaten]

Advent arttrade #3: karl xii celebrating christmas in russia. Plus sketces.

[imagineyourhistoricalfigure]

Imagine your favorite historical figure competing to Eurovision

[beardless-thundergod]

-”And now, from Sweden, King Karl XII with his song, “Narva Rhapsody!””

“…”

“Okay, has anyone told him that a musket is not an instrument? How did he bring that in…”

“First answer, yes, we told him. Second answer, diplomatic immunity… someone please get Russia’s delegation away from the stage- nevermind, they’re dead.”

“… so who’s gonna win this time?”

“Whoever the UK votes for. Unless France votes against them. In which case we’re gonna have another fucking war…”

[imagineyourhistoricalfigure]

Imagine your favorite historical figure getting trapped in a revolving door. They keep pushing it, not knowing when to exit because they are too disoriented.

[beardless-thundergod]

“We’ve been here for two weeks, spring has come, why aren’t we moving on Russia?”

“His Majesty got stuck in the door. He’s working on it.”

“… "The door”?“

"He has explicitly commanded us not to help him.”

[beardless-thundergod]

It’s that time of the year again.

On this day, the 30th of November 1718, King Karl XII of Sweden fell at Fredrikshald.

Länge leve kungen. Long live the King.

(1682/06/17- 1718/11/30)

[vintage-sweden]

Mini golf, 1948, Sweden.

[gahdamnpunk]

ALL 👏🏾 OF 👏🏾 THEM 👏🏾

[knitmeapony]

This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.

[thesaltofcarthage]

the sheer amount of Fucks Not Given in these photos is creating a Black Hole Of Ungiven Fucks, sucking in all the bullshit over the Fuck You event horizon and trapping it so the bullshit can’t escape. It’s gorgeous. 

[astridfreyjadottir-blog]

[spicymemesociety]