Moss @beefboyrights - Tumblr Blog

37 'is that my shirt?' Gigi and Reagan. Gal pals, y'know?

I'm not sure if you meant lesbians or literal gal pals so the relationship is left open-ended for you to decide:)

"do-do you think cats have feelings?" A series of spluttering and coughing that barely qualified for a sentence came from Reagan's lips. It would've been irritating had she not been wearing the most endearing grin.

"okaaay" Gigi drawled "no more of Andres 'mystery bong' for you, miss lady"

"pshaa" Reagan flung her arms around in a hilarious yet vain attempt to retrieve the stolen bong.

"gigiiiii" she whined.

Gigi laughed and took a hit herself, before placing the bong on a counter where, if she was sober, Reagan would certainly be able to reach, but lucky for Gigi, she's decidedly not.

"shit is it already midnight" Gigi asked the room, looking at her phone. "I've got to be at that hot new club downtown in ten minutes! I didn't pay the VIP fee for nothing" she looked at Reagan who was currently pointing at a fish that didn't exist and laughing at it. "Alright girl" Gigi said "let's get you to bed".

It was a struggle picking up Reagan and heaving her across the apartment, the girl weighed more than she looked. Plumping the pillows, shaking the crumby blankets and removing any and all mugs littered around Reagans bedroom floor, Gigi gave stoned and sleepy Reagan a list of instructions.

"okay so stay on your side" she said, crouching down and repositioning Reagan's head. "I've left a cup of water and Advil on your bedside table, you're gonna need it when you wake up. And go straight to sleep, no fucking around!"

Reagan mumbled which Gigi assumed was in acknowledgment and agreement. "Alright sweet girl" she sighed, standing up and walking out, being careful to switch the lights off before she left "night night Reagan".

"nigh nigh Gigi" her sleepy response, and with that, Gigi left the building.

The next morning was great, Gigi was used to going out late so her partying till dawn had unaffected her mood and a coffee would certainly bring her tired brain to full function. She checked her ID into the scanner at the entrance of the office and the doors opened.

"heeey y'all" she grinned, as dickish as they were these people were her team and her dearest friends.

"Heyyyy Gigi, long night?" Myc of course, read her mind.

"you have no idea".

The doors opened yet again and this time it was Reagan, eyebags not deeper then usual, but she was certainly looking more tired then the average day. "Wow Reagan" Myc laughed "you look like shit".

"suck a fat cock Myc" came her irritated response.

But Gigi was focused on something else. "Is that my shirt?" She said without thinking, without thinking of how every single person in this room absolutely thrived on drama.

"what? Oh yeah I guess it is, I was wondering why it didn't have any stains on it". Classic Reagan, taking someone else's shirt in a tired haze, but Gigi didn't fancy herself frustrated by all of this, Reagan looked... Good.

"excuse me why would Reagan have your shirt?" Andre asked, his focus on them for the first time this morning.

"maybe they were together last night" myc chimed in, feeding the flames and insinuating something completely innapropiate. "We were?" Reagan responded, confused by his tone and everyones sudden interest in their life.

"doing what?"

"adult stuff"

Oh shit that was the wrong response, the office broke out in hysterical and desperate shrieks for more information.

"whaaaat"

"I knew it"

"Reagan, I'm your BFF, why wouldn't you tell me this?!

"for the record" Glenn stood up "I'm uncomfortable with the topic of Lebanese people".

"what?" Myc snorted "you mean lesbian?"

"why are we talking about lesbians?" For someone so smart Reagan was clearly not getting the implied here.

"they think we slept together"

"why?"

"because you said adult stuff!"

"I meant drugs!"

"We weren't, we were eh- what's the term? Seshing".

Andre shot up from his seat, pointing an accusing finger at them both "it was you" he screamed "you took my mystery bong!"

buffysummerslay

i have a headcanon in which lucifer was coming to earth every day during chloe's pregnancy, he was there when rory was born and he held her in his arms, and he was there when she was a toddler. he only stopped showing himself to rory when chloe and him agreed that it is too dangerous and that from this moment on she could remember him. from then on, he would pop up every now and then, especially for the big moments, the moments she accused him he wasn't there for knowing that one day he will be able to tell her that he was. chloe would give pictures and letters to amenadiel to fly them down to lucifer. and chloe and lucifer would meet once per year, on august 5th, counting down the years. the year that she died was the first august 5th he had missed because he knew rory would be there, and they believed they will meet each other in the afterlife anyway.

multiples-fandomswontkillme

What else is there to say? You know I'm right. They're polyamorous as hell

beefboyrights

Facts

mfpeace

Tiny

everybidenjusthavegoodtime

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

hotcommunist-deactivated2019032

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

dreaming-shark

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

ailithnight

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

chequerootlurks

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

thatdisasterauthor

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

swindle94

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

fromchaostocosmos

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

terulakimban

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna.

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted.

midrashic

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

kriladoodles

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

marablake

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

link-the-feral-anon

It Got Better

ouran-gsa

They’re back, they’re bishounen af, and they’re not taking any of Tamaki’s bs today

autisticauthorpidge

You: Haruhi is a girl

Me, an intulectual: Haruhi openly states that they don’t care about pronouns or how people perceive their gender and that gender doesn’t matter to them so let nonbinary people have them

monosrojo

Nostalgic for them

monosrojo

more leopiks pls hehe

Sunny side up!

monosrojo

So true

Besties,,, it apearsmy sister is back on her bs, this means shell try anything, so im logging off again.

It was fun seeing yall again!

I just wont stay logged because it makes my anxiety really bad, i dont want my sister to find my orivate accs, not bc i have anything bad but bc i value privacy.

You see, privacy has always been a problem with my sister, when i was little she would burst open my shower door, when i learned to lock it, she would jam it open with scissors screaming abiut what i was hiding.

Theres a lot more instances like these, like the time she went through my bag took my vent sketchbook then took pictures of it, to this day i still think she has them, they were very personal drawings :/

Living with someone out to get you always fucks you up a lil in the brain ig, i have very bad paranoia, sometimes it gets to the point where i cant think bc im scared my thoughts r being broadcast ( ik it sounds bonkers but at those moments it feels utterky real)

Anyways, i guess thats all, see you all when im able to

#mosstalks #tw paranoia